The Dreckled Band (Or, We Are Going to Stoke Moran This Day!!!)

The Men From Scotland Yard Were Somewhat Taken Aback That The Birther Wasn't Wearing Any Pants

Well, I guess if it was a snake, it would have bit us. Here the Birthers are claiming that Obama is a British citizen and we have all missed the obvious response:  If Obama, by operation of British law is a British citizen, then why are you suing in American courts??? 

I mean, think about it for a minute. If there is some aspect of British law which is relevant, and you want to see it enforced, or to obtain a declaratory judgment, why would anyone go to an American court???  British courts should be involved. These suits should be taking place in England.  Scotland Yard should be involved.

Duh!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Notes:  Well this is a strange Internet Article where the Notes will be longer than the article.

First, the title The Dreckled Band is a play on the Sherlock Holmes short story, The Speckled Band. Dreck is defined as:

/drɛk/[drek]
noun Slang.
1. excrement; dung.
2. worthless trash; junk.
Also, drek.

Origin:
1920–25; < Yiddish drek; cognate with German Dreck filth; compare Old English threax, Old Norse threkkr excrement

I use Dreckled Band to describe the Birthers as a group covered up in various forms of bullsh*t.

The alternative title We Are Going to Stoke Moran This Day! is a direct quote from the story.   Stoke Moran was the name of the town, particularly the ancestral mansion where the crimes took place in the story. The statement, by Sherlock Holmes:

“And so do I. It is precisely for that reason that we are going to Stoke Moran this day. I want to see whether the objections are fatal, or if they may be explained away. But what in the name of the devil!”

Of course, there is a secondary meaning which plays on the words stoke and moranStoke means:

stoked past participle, past tense of stoke (Verb)
Verb:

1. Add coal or other solid fuel to (a fire, furnace, or boiler).
2. Encourage or incite (a strong emotion or tendency): “his composure had the effect of stoking her anger”.

And moran, as defined by the Urban Dictionary:

1. The ironic way to spell moron.
“Get a brain! Morans”
2. The preferred method of spelling “moron” by morons, particularly that of a Missouri redneck at a rally supporting the US led war in Iraq.

Both based on this iconic image:

So in effect, I am inciting the Birther morans with my suggestion they seek redress in British courts.

The Image of the two men and the baboon above is an actual illustration from The Speckled Band. The reference to the Birther having no pants is an allusion to Jungian Dream Analysis wherein nakedness can be interpreted as:

Nudity also symbolizes being caught off guard. Finding yourself naked at work or in a classroom, suggests that you are unprepared for a project at work or school. You may be unprepared in making a well informed decision. With all eyes on you, you fear that some flaw will be brought to public attention. You fear that people will see through your true self and you will be exposed as a fraud or a phony.

http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/nakeddreams.pl?method=exact&header=dreamid&search=nakedintro

It is the Birther who is naked, and truly, most of us see right through them.

The Easter Egg in the Image, My Dear Watson, I Think He Means His Checkbook Is In The Office is based on the statement by Dr. Grimesby Roylott upon bursting into Holmes and Watson’s room:

Ha! You put me off, do you?” said our new visitor, taking a step forward and shaking his hunting-crop. “I know you, you scoundrel! I have heard of you before. You are Holmes, the meddler.”

My friend smiled.

“Holmes, the busybody!”

His smile broadened.

“Holmes, the Scotland Yard Jack-in-office!”

Jack-in-office is an English term meaning, a self important petty official. Jack is also a slang term for money. . .oh  well, you get it.  I am not sure if Holmes actually received a 1099 from Scotland Yard for this adventure. Tax laws only require certain records be kept for five years, and this took place in 1892.

There is another huge groaner in the article, but disclosing it would be spoilers for those who have not read the story. Which may be found, with illustrations, at this link:

http://wikisource.org/wiki/User_talk:%D0%A2

It is short, and worth the read.

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About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 29. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a poor little orphan Blue Jay named Squawky. I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

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