The Mad Moldovan Versus Deputy Dork!!! (The Taitz v. Zullo Grudge Match)

Zullo Being Tormented By The Moldovan Crab!!!

Every spring, as the saps rise across the country, the Birthers seem to get feisty and fidgety.  There is always an undercurrent of struggle, much like animals competing for food. But it seems to intensify in the spring. They begin quarreling and fighting with each other in earnest. The male Birthers develop a strange desire to dominate and suppress the female Birthers. I would not be surprised if there was some kind of primitive rutting behavior going on.

In 2009, it was Philip Berg versus Orly Taitz:

http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/05/liberi-et-al-v-taitz-et-al/

In February 2010, it was Taitz against her former para-legal Charles Lincoln and his witness, Lucas Smith:

http://www.ocweekly.com/2010-02-18/news/orly-taitz-florida/

In 2011, there was a quiet spell. I think maybe all the Donald Trump rumblings and subsequent April 27, 2011 release of Obama’s long form birth certificate quieted the herd down. If I were doing active field research, I would hypothesize that Donald Trump took on the role of Alpha Male, and the other male Birthers backed down in submission.

Last spring,  the feuding came back to life with a vengeance. This was the Orly Taitz-Dean Haskins kerfluffle.  See the 4-Part Birther Feud Trilogy which started here:

http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/trouble-in-birther-paradise-0r-a-diet-of-worms-part-1-of-the-birther-feud-trilogy/

That conflict saw an active schism develop between the ObamaReleaseYourRecords Sophisticate Sect, and the Orly Taitz Raving Fundamentalists. Now, internecine conflict has erupted again. The PPSimmons blog has fired several rounds into Taitz on behalf of Zullo and crew. Here are several examples:

Has Orly Taitz “Stepped In It?” BHO Operative? Inept? … Or National Hero?

Here is the test. For a few months now – some have speculated that Orly Taitz may, in fact, be an Obama operative. They maintain that Orly has filed numerous cases and lost everyone while at the same time claiming to be the “world’s leading authority” in the matter. Her efforts have led, they say, to an ever increasing marginalization of real Obama identity fraud investigations. The fact that she continually calls for Arpaio and Zullo to “file charges” when she, as an attorney and world expert, should know that doing so would devastate the case in a legal sense, many believe is evidence that Taitz may be working for the other side. Why, many have asked, would the world’s leading expert and attorney continually push losing cases before federal courts only to make the birthers look more and more inept? Hmmm. Yes – why? indeed.

We at PPSIMMONS wish Orly “God-speed” in this matter. If she wins this case – we will loudly blow the trumpet for Orly Taitz and thank her profusely. But, alas, we don’t think that is going to happen.

So… is Orly Taitz an Obama operative? Is she merely an inept attorney desperately seeking fame and fortune, as some have suggested? … Or is she a national hero?  We hope and pray she is proven to be the latter. At this point though, the evidence doesn’t point that way.  Stay tuned…

http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2013/06/has-orly-taitz-stepped-in-it-bho.html

And this one,  which I really suspect is pheromone based:

Orly Taitz? “I smell a rat” says PPSIMMONS Contributor

By Chris Farrell

Question: I am convinced that Atty. Orly Taitz is an Obama plant; an agent working to get out in front of any given dimension of the eligibility issue and derail its progress in the courts and diffuse its truthful dissemination in the media.

Could what appears to be an advance in the District of Columbia wherein Orly is proceeding in court against the Social Security numbers that have been employed by Mister Obama/Soetoro/Soebarkah/Bounel be a subversive effort at getting out in front of the evidence and destroying its credibility–an effort on the part of the Obama camp to achieve a ruling against such evidence as credible that will undermine the presentation of any related evidence presented in front of the Alabama Supreme Court where Atty. Larry Klayman is reported to, at some time in the future, present the evidence uncovered by Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s volunteer Cold Case Posse including evidence related to Mister Obama’s fraudulent Social Security numbers?

Could Atty. Taitz’ presentation of the evidence surrounding Mister Obama’s fraudulent Social Security Numbers be nothing less than a managing by a covert agent working for Obama’s team of the public portrayal in the media of such evidence as unreliable? A close look at her presentation of the evidence will tell.

In other words: Is Atty. Taitz managing the defeat of such evidence by means of weakly presenting the evidence in such a fashion which permits its defeat as legitimate in the D.C. courtroom, thus undermining any future–as in its introduction before the Alabama State Supreme Court–presentation of the evidence or news reporting on any such presentation?

http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-06-15T13:10:00-07:00&max-results=7

Orly Taitz, a second degree black belt in Taekwondo, is no Shy Violet, and has fired quite a few broadsides, herself. She will not back down.

I feel like the law enforcement people putting bets on the maniac treasure hunters in It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.  I guess it comes with the territory. So, my money is on Taitz! She has the legs to see this thing through to the end.  Zullo and his boys haven’t made it to court once in over a year. They are great at standing around and crowing, but when it comes to putting pencil to paper and doing something, they all seem to have other places to be.

Plus, Taitz can do her own dirty work. She doesn’t need to fight through mouthpieces. So, let’s get ready to rumble!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Wrestling Hold.  Taitz has Zullo in the Moldovan Crab hold. This  is a Rocking Horse variation of the Reverse Boston Crab.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_crab

The Moldovan Crab variation was perfected by Gypsies in the late 1700′s as a way to immobilize a victim, while an accomplice picked their pockets. Taitz, a student of Krav Maga, viciously utilizes her body weight against Zullo’s hamstrings rather than merely locking his legs with hers.  If Zullo had pockets in his wrestling costume, his wallet and valuables would be ripe pickings. This video shows the less advanced variation of this technique as utilized by Cassidy Riley against AJ Styles.

It is unlikely Zullo will be able to overcome the damage done by the hold, his legs having been effectively cut out from under him. While he may not lose his wallet, he will be physically incapable of soliciting funds for a considerable length of time.

Note 2. Intergender Wrestling: Some people may not believe that Intergender Wrestling actually occurs as an organized activity outside of bedrooms and back seats, but as this video clearly shows, it was an established sport by 1981. Mr. Andrew Kaufman, who may or may not be dead,  was the first champion. He can be distinguished from Deputy Zullo above by his lack of a mustache. Here is his match against The Red Snapper!

Note 3. Sexual Components of Intergender Wrestling.: Actually, Intergender Wrestling has a long history, with and without sexual components. Time and space limit the discussion to Andrew Kaufman who, as reported by Brian Nemtusak:

Zmuda set up Kaufman’s first private wrestling match in 1978, actually a contest between two female friends based on a rumor that Elvis had a wrestling fetish. Kaufman ended up wrestling and sleeping with one of them, which would become the formula for hundreds of subsequent conquests. Zmuda and Kaufman soon incorporated “intergender wrestling” into Kaufman’s act, initially on college tours and then on SNL. Neither author makes excuses for Kaufman–for him, wrestling was a turn-on and, even in the context of his show, a shtick for getting laid. (Midway through most matches Kaufman would invite his opponent to join him after the show, and according to Zmuda about a third of them weren’t hard to convince; eventually Kaufman would install a wrestling mat next to his bed.) But wrestling was also another childhood passion that perfectly matched his choreographed fakery and manufactured conflict, well suited to stoking the audience’s scorn. Only the sexist goading was entirely phony, yet it polarized his fans as never before and generated a backlash that would only begin with demands that Kaufman wrestle a man.

http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/being-andy-kaufman/Content?oid=901185

World Famous Brazilian Expert Examines The Long Form Image!!!

John Woodman Trekked Deep Into The Brazilian Tropical Rain Forest In His Quest For A World Class Expert

In a search that took him across the globe, John Woodman, author of Is Barack Obama’s Birth Certificate A Fraud,  managed to find a world class computer expert to examine the pdf image of Obama’s long form birth certificate. Here is a teaser, and the rest is at the link below:

As I examined patents and technical papers written on MRC compression, one name in particular seemed to pop up again and again — that of Ricardo de Queiroz.

Ricardo de Queiroz is one of the primary fathers of this entire technology.

The very first “mixed raster content” patent in the United States was granted to Leon Bottou and Yann Andre LeCun… But the 2nd, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th, and 13th patents were granted to Ricardo de Queiroz and his team. That’s about half of the first dozen or so patents. And some of his team members and students have also gone on to further develop the technology.

In addition, Professor de Queiroz appears again and again as an author of the available technical papers on MRC compression.

Now there are certainly many other individuals who have contributed to the development of this technology; and several in particular have made really big contributions. But I decided, based on what I read in the patent filings and technical papers, that if I were going to contact one expert in the world on this particular technology, the person I would pick would be Ricardo de Queiroz.

So I contacted him. And Dr. de Queiroz was gracious enough to reply — for which I thank him. In clarifying what compression technology is capable of, he has rendered a genuine service to all who have held any interest in this controversy.

World Class Computer Expert Evaluates Obama’s Birth Certificate PDF

This is a fascinating Internet Article and you should read it! While technical, it is still very understandable.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. Interestingly, Tropical Rain Forests have layers, too:

A tropical rainforest has four distinct layers

Emergent layer
Canopy
Under story
Forest floor

From this website:

http://www.rfadventures.com/rainforest_homework.htm

A Virtual Birtherfest!!! (Or, A Ticket To Deride)

Birther Judy, from Buckshot, Arizona, Was So Very Glad She Came

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am very disappointed that the Birtherfest planned for September, 22, 2012 had to be called off for lousy ticket sales. Falling on the Pagan holiday of Mabon, or Harvest Home, I was really expecting some fireworks. Well, I am just not going to take it lying down. Sooo, Girl Reporter Productions proudly presents:

                  The Virtual BirtherFest

Ring Master: First,  to get things off on the right foot, Mr. Pat Boone, doing his hit song Crazy Train:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that something else? And next, to introduce the Hero of Leavenworth, Col. Terry Lakin, and discuss Terry’s wonderful book, Officer’s Oath, is Texan LoneStar1776, aka Rudy Davis:

LoneStar1776: And now, here is Colonel Terry Lakin appearing from the studios of the The Manning Report:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that exciting!!! Now, the one and only Pat Boone, showing off another one of his many talents!

Ring Master: Wasn’t that hilarious! Let’s have another big round of applause for Pat Boone!

Ring Master: And now, a few words from Sheriff Joe Arpaio, courtesy of AMTV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that inspiring??? Now we have CitizenPatriot Tom Ballantyne with a brief speech from his gun shop:

Now, Mr. Pat Boone performing a medley of songs to entertain you:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that special??? Now, for our final speaker of the day, we have Hollywood Movie Producer Bettina Viviano appearing courtesy of WND TV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that scary good??? Now, all the speeches are over and it’s time for the  meet and greet and dance!

                       The End.

The After Party Report

Sooo, now everybody headed over to the hotel next door. All the City Birthers were having a good time, chilling, getting their groove on, and making their hook-ups for the evening when Country Birfer, who can’t afford a ticket, showed up and made like a giant buzz kill. He got drunk and started throwing furniture around, so management called the cops:

Country Birfer Underestimated The Drinks With The Little Umbrellas

Thankfully, the Cold Case Posse handled him, but then, just when the  party was getting back on track,  a rowdy motorcycle gang showed up:

The Leader Of The Pack Starts Picking On Sam Sewell

A drunk Pat Boone insulted their “leather” and challenged them to a fight:

Pat Boone Didn’t Have Any Brass Knuckles, But He Figured His Rings Would Work Just As Well

And the whole thing ended up outside in a giant mud fight:

The Birthers Had A Natural Advantage In The Mud

Birthers wallowing in the mud. How apropos!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Problems. Orly Taitz showed up and demanded to speak, but was told there was no way to fit her in. She is adding the organizers to her massive lawsuit as defendants. Be sure to click on the picture. It’s animated, in addition to having an Easter Egg.:

Orly Didn’t Believe There Was No Way To Fit Her In

Note 2. Link. Here is a link to the story about the cancellation of this event:

http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/10/the-curse-of-wong-kim-ark-or-no-tickee-no-birfapalooza/

Note 3. Ticket & Refund Policy

Our policy is NO Refunds and NO Exchanges for tickets purchased either online or in person. Admission to this show is guaranteed for as long as WordPress hosts this website. Must be 18 years or older to attend, unless accompanied by an adult. The Birther Think Tank is not responsible for any brain damage caused by any of the material herein.

The Curse Of Wong Kim Ark!!! (Or, No Tickee, No Birfapalooza)

Few Man Choose To Buy Tickets To The Birther Event???

Apparently, The Curse of Wong Kim Ark has struck once again, and a Birther event has been cancelled due to a lack of interest. And a lack of ticket sales. First, it was The Birther Summit back in March, and now it is:

(Click image to enlarge.)

http://phoenixteaparty.ning.com/

Oh my, another epic Birther flop. Perhaps the Tea Party should just concentrate on politics and leave the stupid Birther crap alone??? Are you listening, Mark Gillar??? And to think this all started out sooo grand:

Anyway, we tracked down one of the nine ticket purchasers, who wishes to remain anonymous for the time being. He tells us that he has retained Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. to file suit to get back the money he spent on clothes for the event:

Thinking Ahead, The Birther Even Bought A Flashlight So He Could Find His Butt In The Dark With Both Hands

Darn! I was really looking forward to reporting on this event.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1932 film, The Mask of Fu Man Chu, starring Boris Karloff and Myrna Loy. Wiki says, in part:

The Mask of Fu Manchu is a Pre-Code adventure film released in 1932, featuring Boris Karloff as Fu Manchu and Myrna Loyas his daughter. The movie revolves around Fu Manchu’s quest for the sword and mask of Genghis Khan. Lewis Stone plays his nemesis. Directed by Charles Brabin, it is considered the best of the Fu Manchu films produced in the 1930s.

Hint. There is more than one Easter Egg in this one.

Note 2. Links. I wrote two Internet Articles about this event.  Maybe the whole Human Sacrifice thing in the second one had some effect on ticket sales???

http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/08/19/the-birther-cotillion-or-coming-out-in-phoenix/

http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/08/21/the-birther-fest-occurs-on-a-pagan-holiday-human-sacrifice-alert/

Note 3. Chinese Pidgin English  Wiki has an interesting short Internet Article about pidgin Chinese, which includes the “no tickee, no washee” thing I found at one of the links:

A Chinese woman living on the remote Salmon River in central Idaho is reported as finding humor in “Uncle Josh in a Chinese Laundry” as played on a neighbor’s wind-up phonograph about 1917.[20] Yankee humorist Cal Stewart performed as Uncle Josh Weathersby, resident of the small New England town of Pumpkin Centre. The dialect story was published in Uncle Josh’s Punkin Centre Stories (1903).[21] In this story, Uncle Josh is visiting New York and inquires about laundry services. He is directed to a nearby Chinese laundry:

So I told him I’d like to git him to do some washin’ fer me, and he commenced a talkin’ some outlandish lingo, sounded to me like cider runnin’ out of a jug, somethin’ like–ung tong oowong fang kai moi oo ung we, velly good washee. Wall I understood the last of it and jist took his word fer the rest, so I giv him my clothes and he giv me a little yeller ticket that he painted with a brush what he had, and I’ll jist bet a yoke of steers agin the holler in a log, that no livin’ mortal man could read that ticket; it looked like a fly had fell into the ink bottle and then crawled over the paper.

Not recognizing the ticket as his claim, and misdirected by a city slicker, Josh cannot produce the ticket when he calls for his laundry. The phrase “No tickee, no washhee” is not included. In spite of the laundryman’s protestations, Josh assaults him, and runs off with somebody else’s shirts, a part of the laundryman’s queue, with the laundryman yelling for the police behind him. Uncle Josh, as the rube, is gulled by the city slicker (by implication) and takes out his frustration on the innocent laundryman. I found this not much funnier with Stewart’s nasal Yankee dialect and characteristic laugh as part of the delivery.[22]

Mieder records the earliest documented use of “No tickee, no washee” as 1931[23]; which seems to be a half-century or so later than one would think. Because it is such a central concept to Cal Stewart’s dialect story, it is surprising he did not use the phrase. Does that mean that its use did not become widespread until after 1903 and before 1931? This would be contrary to the general expectation that the phrase originated in the late nineteenth century, probably in California.[24]

http://www.uiweb.uidaho.edu/special-collections/papers/notickee.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Pidgin_English

Note 4.  The Birther Clothes Image. This is actually Jackie Gleason playing Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners, an old timey TV show. This episode is The Man From Space, and I found this blurb, at the link below where you can watch the whole episode:

The Man from Space 1955

Determined to win a $50 prize for “best costume” at the Raccoon’s annual Halloween party, Ralph tries to wheedle ten bucks out of Norton so that he can rent a Henry the Eighth outfit. But Norton also wants to rent a costume and turns Ralph down. Declaring war on Ed, Ralph decides to construct his own elaborate costume out of furniture and kitchen utensils. But Ralph’s jerry-built “Martian” outfit is no match for the winning costume — and we aren’t about to tell you what that is. Among other things, this episode reveals that Ed Norton’s personal idol is Pierre Francois de la Brioche, the man who designed and constructed the sewers of Paris (or so Ed thinks!). First telecast on December 31, 1955, “The Man from Space” was written by A.J. Russell and Herbert Finn.

Retroflix Honeymooners Episodes

One Nice Thing About Sheriff Joe Arpaio

From The Way The Hay Was Loaded, His Experts Assured Him There Was Definitely A Needle In There Somewhere

Well, it occurred to me that I am always saying bad things about the Birthers, poking fun at them, and hurting their feelings. If I am not careful I will probably become cynical and mean over time. Sooo, I figure every once in a while I ought to say something nice about the Birthers just to keep in practice. This is not going to be easy, but here I go.

ONE NICE THING about Sheriff Joe Arpaio is that he is NOT one of those stupid, idiotic, delusional, brain-dead, lying, quack-lawyer, dumb a$$, two citizen parents Birthers who goes around spouting off that God Awful silly drivel about Emerich de Vattel and citing ridiculous pre-Wong Kim Ark cases while pretending that Minor v. Happersett is precedent and ignoring all the current case law, and insulting my intelligence in the process, like some kind of moronic, mindless, lobotomized DORK!!!

Whew. I feel better already. I need to do this more often. It is good for the soul.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Princess Miki Gets A Commitment!!! (But Don’t Cheer Just Yet)

Sarah Bernhardt Playing The Lead In “Memoirs Of A Community Organizer From Hawaii”

Well, the story over at ObamaReleaseYourRecords started off really good:

Miki Booth gets a commitment from Senator Tom Coburn

and for that fleeting second I had the feeling that somebody finally locked the crazy Birther up. There were visions of Princess Miki in a strait jacket and padded cells. Maybe even electro-shock therapy. Yes, there is a God, and Justice, and a team of mental health professionals!!!  And  then, the Idyllic Vision evaporated as I got to the next part:

Miki Booth gets a commitment from Senator Tom Coburn
to contact Sheriff Joe Arpaio about Obama’s ineligibility

OH! What a letdown.  She is still on the loose and babbling about forged birth certificates and idiotic pseudo-investigations, and her stupid book. Whatever happened to the good old days when Hawaiian Princesses just quietly did a half-gainer into a volcano to save their people??? Nowadays, they write stupid books, blather on radio talk shows, harass public officials, and just make a general nuisance of themselves.

Anyway, here is a link to the story:

http://obamareleaseyourrecords.blogspot.com/2012/08/senator-coburn-says-he-will-contact.html

I can imagine the half-hearted phone call from Senator Coburn to Sheriff Joe and the strained conversation as Coburn tries to pretend he isn’t talking to an idiot on the other of the line. If you live in Oklahoma, Coburn deserves both your vote and hazardous duty pay for doing stuff like this.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is Sarah Bernhardt playing Phedre (Phaedra), if I have my pictures right.  Wiki says about Phedre:

The genealogy of Phèdre gives a number of indications as to her character’s destiny. Descended from Helios, god of the Sun, and Pasiphaë, she nevertheless avoids being in the judgmental presence of the sun throughout the play. The simultaneous absence of a god-figure combined with the continual presence of one has been extensively explored in Lucien Goldmann’s Le Dieu caché. This sense of patriarchal judgment is extended to Phèdre’s father, Minos, who is responsible for weighing the souls of the dead upon their arrival in Hades.

Phèdre is right to fear judgment; she is driven to an incestual love for her stepson Hippolytus, much like the other women in her family, who tended to experience desires generally considered taboo. Her mother, Pasiphaë was cursed by Aphrodite to fall in love and mate with a white bull, giving rise to the legendary Minotaur. Phèdre meets Theseus, her future husband, when he arrives on the Minoan scene to kill her monstrous half-brother, the minotaur.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ph%C3%A8dre

The Birther Olympics: Update No.1 (Synchronized Spinning)

Kuhner Complained The Judge Wasn’t Even Watching Him Spin

Well, the first results are in from The Birther Olympics!!! Dianna, “The Dianna” Cotter won the prestigious Gold Medal in Synchronized Spinning. This event requires the participants to all provide spin on the same story, in this case, the failure of the Main Stream Press to pay any positive attention to Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Cold Case Posse reports.

Jeffrey Kuhner, of the Washington Times, came in third, winning the Bronze Medal, for his spinning routine. Kuhner imitated Linda Blair from the movie, The Exorcist, and blew chunks of green material over the judges, while gracefully pirouetting to the tune of The Windmills Of Your Mind. The spews were expertly time to fall on the accented notes of the melody. Kuhner was dressed in a nightgown covered with newsprint. While some judges found the whole thing somewhat off-putting, others praised Kuhner for his non-verbalized dramatic interpretation of the Main Stream Press. As they say, sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

Coming in second was journalist Diana West, who produced a minimalist 4 minute non-stop whine cum primal scream, “Bwaaaaa the pwess dint report duh forgerieeeee.” West suffered a severe case of the vapors, and had to be administered oxygen after her performance. Thankfully, she is reported to be in good enough condition to accept her medal in person. Critics have compared her performance to Thornton Wilder’s Our Town, for its stark simplicity and powerful message. West wore white, and the background screen was black, and one could almost envisage Ingmar Bergman peering down the camera lens and framing each shot.

However, these brave efforts were not enough to keep Cotter from totally dominating the event. Harking back to her Pravda days, she dressed like a babushka with a scarf made from the “Don’t Tread On Me!!!” Gadsen flag. Cotter then performed her screeds in Russian, while galloping back and forth across the stage with the Russian folk song, Meadowlands, playing in the background. The fact that no one understood what she was saying only served to enhance the dramatic effect. Her own feet were always in perfect time with the hoof beats in the music. Cotter’s natural stridency, gait, and fierce demeanor were perfectly complimented by this musical selection. All in all, she was magnificent!!!

Reporting from beautiful downtown Laguna Niguel, this is:

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image is Balinese Weavers, by the famous French artiste, Metier ‘a Teaser.

Note 2:  For the background stories, see:

Dianna “The Dianna” Cotter:  
http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/the-dianna-spins-or-girlfriend-is-the-whirling-dervish/

Diana West:     
http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/diana-west-lapping-up-the-cold-case-posse-kool-aid/

Jeffrey Kuhner:     
http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/brer-kuhner-says-take-my-scoop-please/

Note 3.  The Music. For those unfamiliar with the music, here are youtube videos of each:

The Windmills of Your Mind:

Meadowlands:

Arpaio’s F Bomb Is A Dud!!! (The Obama Forgery Test)

Arpaio Was Well Known For His Short Fuse

Sheriff Joe, Deputy Zullo, Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, and other Birthers have been dropping F Bombs left and right since the initial March 12, 2012 press conference. “F” here stands for “Forgery.”  On July 17, 2012, Arpaio held another press conference and doubled-down on the forgery claim.  Meanwhile, outside the Birther Asylum, and the Anti-Birther Butterfly-Net Shore Patrol,  the whole issue is a dud.

The Birther Press is busy chest-thumping like two horny male gorillas about the lack of Main Stream Press coverage, and pouting like little snotty-nosed kids because the Conservative Big Shots, like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, don’t want to play with them. Maybe it is the whole snot-thing???

Others, like Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. and numerous Freeper Birfers, are filled with indignation because the saner part of the universe simply ignores Arpaio and the Cold Case Posse’s claims of forgery. Sooo, I have decided to deconstruct the issue and get down to specifics. First, let us get a workable definition of forgery. This one, from the Free Legal Dictionary, seems typical:

The creation of a false written document or alteration of a genuine one, with the intent to defraud.

Forgery consists of filling in blanks on a document containing a genuine signature, or materially altering or erasing an existing instrument. An underlying intent to defraud, based on knowledge of the false nature of the instrument, must accompany the act.

Since the word defraud is used twice, let’s define that word also, from the same source:

[T]o use deceit, falsehoods, or trickery to obtain money, an object, rights or anything of value belonging to another.

Legally, any erroneous information would have to have been put in, or altered,  with the intent to defraud, so that simple clerical errors or harmless mistakes would not constitute forgery. For example, if a clerk penciled in the number “9″ for the Father’s Race, when the correct code should have been “2″, there is no forgery.  Mainly, because there was no evil intent and no one is being defrauded of anything.

Suppose Obama’s real father was Frank Marshall Davis, and not Barack Obama Sr., and Stanley Dunham did not know this, perhaps having slept with both men. Then there would be no forgery. There is no intent to defraud. If, on the other hand, she knew that Frank Marshall Davis (FMD) was the actual father, but listed BO, Sr. as the father anyway, then there would be forgery, of a sort, by the creation of a false document.

But even then, the intent to defraud somebody would have to be proven.  It is possible that FMD and BO, Sr. could have agreed to such a listing.  Or, if by supplying false information, Stanley Dunham sought to obtain something of value, either money or some right, then there could have been an intent to defraud. The important thing is that the intent to defraud has to be proven, not just assumed.

By definition, any alteration would have to be legally material, that is  significant and important, to fit within the definition of forgery. For example, if someone altered the place of birth from Kenya to Hawaii, that would be material. If someone enhanced a barely legible letter, to make it more legible, that would be probably be immaterial. Either way, an intent to defraud would still have to be proven.

All right, now that we have a workable definition of forgery and the intent to defraud and material, let’s look at the online long form:

Remember, that the Hawaii DOH says a long form exists, so unless some information has been added, erased, or changed from that original, then there is no forgery. Mere non-material alteration is NOT forgery. I went through the document and here is a list of 43 items which constitute the information contained on the online document:

File Number 151 on top

Certificate Number 61 10641 on top

Green Security Paper Background

Apr 25 2011 stamped on bottom

Certification on bottom with handwritten Alvin T. Onaka, Ph.D. and stamped State Registrar

1a. Child’s First Name – Barack

1b. Child’s Middle Name – Hussein

1c. Child’s Last Name – Obama, II

2. Sex – Male

3. This Birth – single block marked (as opposed to twin or triplet) and two “x’s” and a “dash” penciled in.

4. If Twin or Triplets Was Child Born 1st, 2nd, 3rd – No Information Entered

5a. Birth Date – August 4, 1961

5b. Hour - 7:24 PM

6a. Place of Birth (City) –  Honolulu

6b. Island – Oahu

6c. Name of Hospital – Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital

6d. Is Place of Birth Inside City Limits – Yes block is marked.

7a. Usual Residence of Mother (City) – Honolulu

7b. Island – Oahu

7c. County and State – Honolulu, Hawaii

7d. Street Address – 6085 Kalanianaole Highway

7e. Is Residence Inside City Limits – Yes blocked is marked

7f. Mother’s Mailing Address – No Information Entered

7g. Is Residence Inside City Limits – Yes block is marked and number “2″ is penciled in.

8. Full Name of Father – Barack Hussein Obama

9. Race of Father – African and number “9″ is penciled in.

10. Age of Father – 25

11. Birthplace – Kenya, East Africa and number “2″ is penciled in.

12a. Usual Occupation – Student and a “dash” and a “o” are penciled in.

12b. Kind of Business or Occupation – University and number “9″ is penciled in.

13. Full Maiden Name of Mother – Stanley Ann Dunham

14. Race of Mother – Caucasian and number “1″ is penciled in.

15. Age of Mother – 18

16. Birthplace – Wichita, Kansas and an “a” (?) is penciled in.

17a. Type of Occupation Outside Home During Pregnancy – None and a “0″ is penciled in.

17b. Date Last Worked – No Information Entered and a “0″ is penciled in.

18a. Signature of Parent – Handwritten (Stanley) Ann Dunham Obama, with block checked for Parent.

18b. Date of Signature – Handwritten 8-7-61

19a. Signature of Attendant – Handwritten David A. Sinclair with M.D. block checked.

20. Date Accepted by Local Registrar – Stamped August 8, 1961

21. Signature of Local Registrar – Handwritten V K L Lee

22. Date Accepted by Reg. General – Stamped August 9 – 1961

23. Evidence for Delayed Filing or Alteration – No Information Entered

Now, for the Crickets Test.

Question 1:  Which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to  be an alteration of a genuine item,  that is, information materially altered (changed, added, or erased) and different from the original long form birth certificate???

Answer: Crickets.

Question 2:  Which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to be false from the very creation of an original document???

Answer: Crickets.

Question 3:  Which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to constitute any intent to defraud some other person and obtain some benefit???

Answer: Crickets.

Question 4:  Notwithstanding any other question and/or answer, which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to constitute a legally material alteration of any original information???

Answer: Crickets

I would submit that Sheriff Joe, Deputy Zullo, The Cold Case Posse, Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, and other Birthers have completely and utterly failed to prove any of the elements of a forgery claim. Not only have they failed to substantially prove any of the forgery elements, they have not even made a credible  allegation of any element of forgery.

The closest they have come is to argue that the penciled in “9″ in the Race of Father block, is either incorrect, or should have resulted in an empty block.  Which is at least debatable, and factually incorrect in my opinion.

Yet even on that point, there has been no proof offered that the original long form document did not have such an entry.Additionally,  and even if they were correct, they have offered no evidence which shows any intent to defraud anyone, nor have they even bothered to hazard a theory how such an boo-boo could tend to defraud anyone.

Are they truly so incompetent that they fail to realize any of this,  or do they just not care???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1:  Here is a separate PDF of the Obama Forgery Test to better help you snare the unwary Birther. Feel free to use it and distribute it.

The Obama Forgery Test

La M’relle, Jerome Corsi (A Poison Named Corsi)

After 72 Hours Straight At The Electron Scanning Microscope, Corsi Was A Little Haggard and Woe-Begone

After listening and reading from the July 17, 2012 Sheriff Joe press conference, it comes to me that Deputy Zullo may have been brain-washed by Jerome “Jerry” Corsi in a grueling, marathon 16 hour  session. I direct the reader’s attention to this tidbit found on page 24 of the transcript:

Zullo:  I think this is a bad thing, but it is what it is, and let me just address something to your question on Mr. Corsi. Mr. Corsi I personally interviewed for sixteen hours, and I’ll leave the expletives out, but I told him in no uncertain terms for fourteen hours of that, I wasn’t buying this. It wasn’t until the registrar’s stamp that we showed you on March 1st, that’s what got my attention.  Mr. Corsi’s information that he brought to us and you have to understand we did not seek Mr. Corsi out, he was offered up to us. He had information, documents, all kinds of things, that for a good partof three months I had to sit and review, and discarded as not germane to what we are investigating, or I didn’t think was worth the paper it was written on.

Hmmm. I wonder if the nefarious Corsi reversed roles and managed to break Zullo??? If so, this brings back memories of a certain knight, haggard and woe-begone, who encountered a Lamia on a journey. He thought he was doing her, but actually, she was doing him. OH, this calls for a poem. BTW (which means “by the way”), la morelle is French for Nightshade, a deadly poisonous plant. Of course, this is based on John Keats’ beautiful and haunting, La Belle Dame Sans Merci,  or, the beautiful woman without pity.

La M’relle, Jerome Corsi
(Trans: A deadly poison by the name of Jerome Corsi)
by Squeeky Fromm

Oh, what can ail thee, Dep’ty Zullo
Alone and softly babbling???
The press has gathered in the room
And sniggers bring.

Oh, what can ail thee, Dep’ty Zullo
So hackney’d, and yet so nutter???
The squirrels’ appetite is large,
And moonbats flutter.

I see in thy eyes a dullness
And in thy mien, a blunt affect.
And in thy slideshow, images
Pointless doth reflect.

I met J. Corsi in a room
To heareth all that he had filed.
Banker Boxes didst overflow
And his eyes were wild.

I made some notes and wrote them down
And wrote ’til pencil lead was gone.
I tried to find a ballpoint pen,
Still, on he droned.

He showed me long form images,
And masks and layers all day long.
He sang, in mesmerizing voice,
A pixel song.

Full fourteen hours drag-ged on,
So wearied, daring not to break.
He must have said a thousand times,
“This is a fake!!!”

He took me to the Birfer Grot,
And there a ukelele strumm’d???
At least that is the way it seem’d,
To mind benumb’d.

He said he had a P-H-D,
“Go sleep, and it will be just fine.”
And then I dreamed my latest dream
On the number “9.”

Also, I saweth postal stamps!!!
And Smiley Faces in a row.
It took a magnifying glass
To see them, though.

Then Mad Hawaiians, laugh’d at me,
And said “You fell, thou Dumb Ha-ole,”
“Down La Morelle Jerome Corsi’s
Birfer Rabbithole!!!”

So that is why I babble here,
And delusionally putter,
While squirrels try to take me home,
And moonbats flutter.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: Of course this is a parody of La Belle Dame Sans Merci, by John Keats, wherein a wandering knight doth meeteth up in the woods with a life-sucking Lamia:

La Belle Dame Sans Merci

O WHAT can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms!
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full,
And the harvest’s done.

I see a lily on thy brow
With anguish moist and fever dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading rose
Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful—a faery’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She look’d at me as she did love,
And made sweet moan.

She took me to her elfin grot,
And there she wept, and sigh’d fill sore, 30
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With kisses four.

And there she lulled me asleep,
And there I dream’d—Ah! woe betide!
The latest dream I ever dream’d
On the cold hill’s side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—“La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!”

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gaped wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill’s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.

Note 2:  Here is a Daily Motion video of  the original poem, read by some English guy:

xklqdd_john-keats-la-belle-dame-sans-merci_creation

Note 3. The Image Above, is of Svengali, from the 1931 film, and played by John Barrymore. About Svengali, Wiki says:

Svengali is a fictional character in George du Maurier’s 1894 novel Trilby. He is a hypnotist who makes the title character into a famous singer.The word “svengali” has come to refer to a person who, with evil intent, controls another person by persuasion or deceit. The Svengali may feign kindness and use manipulation to get the other person to yield his or her autonomy.

Note 4. Haole. This is an Hawaiian term for an “outsider.” The word has three syllables and is prounounced, “ha-ol-i.” For purposes of this poem, please pretend it is pronounced “ha-ol.” I would have left off the final “e”, and put a ” ‘ “, but that would have made it more difficult to recognize for most people.

Orly Taitz Woodsheds Joseph Farah!!!

Although Little Joseph Begged For Mercy, Taitz Was Determined To Feenish This!!!

Today, Orly Taitz. Esq. bent Joseph Farah, Editor of Word Net Daily (WND), over her proverbial knee and gave him forty hard whacks with a hickory stick. Here is how it went down. First, Orly Taitz has been complaining because she can’t get either Sheriff Arpaio or Deputy Mike Zullo of the Cold Case Posse (CCP) to appear at any of her hearings and testify.

But as she notes, both of them seem quite able to find the time to do press conferences and promote the sale of the book co-authored by Zullo and Jerome Corsi.  Here is an Internet Article I did a few days ago on this:

http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/04/03/the-quantum-orly-taitz-or-schodingers-elephant/

Well, apparently Farah got a little perturbed by this, and wrote Taitz an email asking her basically to STFU about the financial link between WND and the CCP.  Here is an excerpt:

(Click on Image to make it larger.)

I am not sure what else Farah may have said. Taitz gave a link to the email, but it doesn’t seem to go anywhere.  But Taitz gives Farah a good answer, with me separating it into more paragraphs to make it easier to read:

Here is my response: Arpaio is getting paid by the tax payers. There was no reason in the world for him to run this investigation off the books through his posse instead of doing a proper police investigation within the sheriff’s department. 250 citizens served him with a criminal complaint and a petition  and provided evidence of the biggest crime ever committed against 4 million citizens of the Maricopa county, AZ. Arpaio had a duty to open a proper police investigation and file the report with the DA.

Let me remind you that in IN a sheriff did just that, when he got evidence of 4 executives of the Democratic party submitting forged nominations to the elected officials. He investigated, filed the report, DA filed a criminal complaint, parties were arraigned and a judge is presiding over the criminal trial. End of story.

That is exactly what Arpaio was supposed to do. It is illegal for a sheriff or a deputy to profiteer from the result of the police investigation they are conducting. From what I was told by sources in the department, (correct me, if I am wrong), but Arpaio deputized not only Zullo, but also Corsi. This means that they cannot profiteer from their work as sheriff’s deputies. That is why we are paying a salary to Arpaio and his staff, so that they will do the work without any personal incentives.

I have a grave concern that as long as you are donating to Arpaio through the WND and as long as you are giving money to Zullo and Corsi by buying their book, you are giving them an incentive not to file a report with the authorities. The point is that the moment the report is filed and Arpaio testifies in court and the evidence is in court records, he loses his importance, as at that time the ball will be in the court of the District Attorney and the judge to take an action.

I was asked, why are you asking for donations, how are you different from Arpaio. The answer is simple. Arpaio is paid a salary by the tax payers, a big salary, plus all the benefits and has a whole staff to do this work. I am not paid by the tax payers, so if I have to go to court in MS or IN or GA or HI, I have to pay out of my own pocket. This is the difference

First, it is interesting to see that Arpaio deputized Corsi. I have called him Special Deputy Jerry Corsi here several times and I guess I was right. Taitz also picks up on something that Farah doesn’t seem to understand:

It is illegal for a sheriff or a deputy to profiteer from the result of the police investigation they are conducting.

At the very least, that is Conduct Unbecoming An Officer (CUBO), something else that I have written about here.  Taitz also picks up on the fact that WND and CCP’s  financial interests and publicity interests mitigate against bringing this a speedy close:

. . . as long as you are giving money to Zullo and Corsi by buying their book, you are giving them an incentive not to file a report with the authorities.

What I wonder is why Taitz does not pick up on the fact that Corsi and the CCP’s pecuniary interest tainted the investigation from the very get go. If the CCP had not had negative findings against Obama, would the book have sold any copies at all???  Therefore, how can she or anybody else have any confidence in the findings???

The other big question I have is how does she ever put Arpaio, Zullo or any CCP member on the stand and expect them to have any credibility in court??? I also addressed this question in the above linked article, and this latest post only makes her problem more acute.  In effect, she has destroyed her own witnesses’ ability to provide believable testimony.

Here is the link to the full story at her website:

http://www.orlytaitzesq.com/?p=34264

The flip side of her response to Farah is Farah’s seeming cluelessness regarding the difference between law enforcement officers working for a paycheck, and working on commission.  A paycheck is the same whether a suspect is arrested or not. A commission on the other hand, which is what the pecuniary interest acts like, means that the more dirt they can dish on Obama, the higher the salary. Whether the dirt is true or not.  Or, as Taitz said:

That is why we are paying a salary to Arpaio and his staff, so that they will do the work without any personal incentives.

Farah again displays his ignorance when he tackles the idea of volunteer work. Farah asks:

By the way, what’s wrong with Zullo getting some remuneration for his six months of previously unpaid public service work?

Uh, Joseph, the whole point of the Cold Case Posse, and the other Posses is that they are voluntary. People do it to help, not to make extra money. If Deputy Zullo wanted to work part-time and make some extra money, perhaps he should have looked into becoming an Amway distributor, or maybe getting a part-time job down to the 7-11.

Bizarre. I would love to see Farah’s full email, if there is more.  That moustache must be slowing down the blood flow to his brain.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Woodsheds. Urban Dictionary defines this as:

An allusion to being corporally punished, where the victim would be sent to the woodshed to await his punisher. The woodshed was a popular location, because it was remote from the rest of the family, and there was abundant material there for fashioning a paddle or a switch.

Get to the woodshed boy – your pa is gonna tan your hide when he gets home from the mill.

To beat an opponent comfortably. In soccer terms, its equivalent to a goal difference of 4 between teams.