Mario Apuzzo’s “Schlock And Awe” Attack Fizzles!!!

She Made A Mental Note To Never Date A Guy She Heard On The Radio, Unless She Ran A Background Check First

Well, I have just listened to Fogbow Foggy’s radio rebuttal to Mario Apuzzo, Esq. on Immigration Lawyer Charles Kuck’s radio show. Foggy did a fantastic job of correcting Mario Apuzzo’s numerous legal errors on the previous week’s show, such as Emer Vattel’s treatise on French law being the basis of our Constitutional requirement that President be a natural born citizen. I am sure that Mario Apuzzo is squirming mad after Foggy’s  devastating barb that  “Apuzzo thinks the right to remain silent was put there to protect mimes.” OUCH!!!

Anyway, RC Radio Blog has a link up to the show, along with more of the background:

http://rcradioblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/immigration-attorney-charles-kuck-says-apuzzo-is-wrong-on-nbc/#comments

Dr. Conspiracy has a post up with Apuzzo’s original appearance:

http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2013/06/charles-kuch-interview-with-mario-aupzzo/

Kuck was apparently unprepared for Apuzzo, and seemed to take much of what he said at face value. I think that happens a lot with people who don’t know what is going on, in a legal sense. Most people, even lawyers, haven’t spent much time on the meaning of natural born citizen as it relates to the presidential requirement. It just has little application in a day to day law practice.  Here comes Apuzzo with 200 pages of schlock, and it can kind of be overpowering if you haven’t read and studied the case law.

After that initial show, Kuck got busy reading the cases, including Lynch v. Clark (1844 NY), Wong Kim Ark (USSCt. 1898), and Ankeny v. Daniels (2009 Indiana). Yep, after reading those cases, the whole two citizen parent silliness gets tossed out the door with the garbage.

Except up there in Paterson, New Jersey, and other places  where Birthers dwell in their self-imposed exile to LaLa Land.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Schlock. Free Dictionary defines the word as:

schlock also shlock (shlk) Slang

n.       Something, such as merchandise or literature, that is inferior or shoddy.

adj.   Of inferior quality; cheap or shoddy.

[Possibly from Yiddish shlak, apoplexy, stroke, wretch, evil, nuisance, from Middle High German slag, slak, stroke, from slahen, to strike, from Old High German slahan.]

Note 2. Here is a link to Kuck’s legal website:

http://www.immigration.net/

Meanwhile, On Planet Birfzarro. . .

Somehow, I suspect that even on Planet Birfzarro, Birthers would find a way to lose.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Carl Gallups And Deputy Zullo – - – Sync Or Sink???

Mike Zullo (Second From Right), Carl Gallups, And The Cold Case Posse Practice Synchronized Manipulation Of Dumbbells   (Click On The Image To Watch Them In Action!)

In a recent video Pastor Carl Gallups stated that he was in daily contact with Deputy Zullo of The Maricopa County Cold Case Posse. You can hear it for yourself in this Scandal of Scandals audio/video from ObamaReleaseYourRecords. First, starting at 1:34:

Mike Zullo and I are in contact with each other every single day. I do not claim to be an official spokesperson for Mike  or Sheriff Arpaio, but I do work closely with them and we stay as I said in daily contact.,

Then, at 6:03

I am in daily contact with Mike Zullo, who is the lead investigator . And when I say daily, I mean every single day usually 2 to 3 times a day and this contact has been going on for months now. Mike and I traveled to Capitol Hill together. We’ve talked to Congressmen and chiefs of staff together. We’ve went to CPAC together. CPAC 2013.

We’ve spoken to all manner of VIPs, very important and powerful people together. So what I am getting ready to tell you is absolute fact. And that is.  This case is moving forward.  There is the distinct possibility, and I can only speak in possibilities     because we can’t make anybody do anything.  But if the people, if  the VIPs who are involved in this now, will keep their promises, there is the distinct possibility that within a few months, there will some major Congressional movement on this.

http://obamareleaseyourrecords.blogspot.com/2013/06/gallups-obama-id-fraud-scandal-of-all-scandals.html

Hmmm. There is a distinct possibility that maybe in a few months, somebody else, not us, will do something. But it is all out of Zullo’s and Gallups’ hands. It all depends on some un-named VIPs, very important and powerful people. Yeah, I hope the Birthers hold their breaths waiting for that.

Now where all this breaks down is that Zullo has already said there isn’t enough evidence to convict Obama of jaywalking or anything else. Which means, that there isn’t any new information in the mix.  No new investigatory work is turning up anything, The only thing they can be doing, and this is evident from the audio/video above is trying to convince people in Congress and elsewhere that Not Enough Evidence To Convict Him Of Jaywalking, is Enough Evidence To Remove Him From Office.

In other words, Zullo and Gallups are just lobbying.  And what they are trying to sell is pure crap. Gonna happen NOT. In the meantime, they have to keep the Birther Rabble entertained and interested.  If they can just keep the crap  going for 3 years and 6 months, then Obama will be out of office and they can breathe easy. What’s the alternative, admit they don’t have anything??? Zullo can go back to selling cars and writing parking tickets for the MCSO.

But Gallups is strung out there as an author and a pastor, and a radio personality. He NEEDS his reputation. At least some of it. That is why they are working so closely together. Gallups can’t afford to let Zullo fold. Zullo can’t afford to let Gallups wash his hands of the Birther stuff, or it’s no more trips to Hawaii. No more conventions and doe-eyed conservative chicks  in the hotel bar getting sloshed on Sex-On-The-Beaches.

So, its work together, or lose out and get creamed together. That’s what it looks like to me. This also explains all the sudden belligerence toward Orly Taitz. She won’t play ball with the two of them. She could care less if Zullo or Gallups get embarrassed. She expects them to do what they say, and get the case to a prosecutor.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Images. These are Nude Gymnasts from the 1930′s. The dumbbells they are holding are actually called Indian Clubs, which are described here:

Indian clubs — is popular in the early 20th and late 19th century in US, some parts of Europe as well. It looks like a bowling pin, made of woods and comes with different sizes and weights and they are swung around.  They can range from a few pounds each, up to special clubs that can weigh as much as 50 pounds. They were used in carefully choreographed routines where the clubs were swung in unison by a group of exercisers, led by an instructor in the front, similar to modern aerobic classes. Indian club is used in India and is used by martial arts.

http://alexandriaruthk.hubpages.com/hub/Different-Weight-Training-Equipment-to-Choose-From#

Birther Smells Another Birther!!! Maybe. Who Knows???

Something Just Didn’t Smell Right, And Farrell Began To Wonder If His Skinny Friend Was As Dumb As He Seemed

Birther Chris Farrell, late of the French Foreign Legion, must have some kind of sinus problem. Here are a few excerpts from his recent Nasal Exposition.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Orly Taitz? “I smell a rat” says PPSIMMONS Contributor

By Chris Farrell

 

Question: I am convinced that Atty. Orly Taitz is an Obama plant; an agent working to get out in front of any given dimension of the eligibility issue and derail its progress in the courts and diffuse its truthful dissemination in the media.

Now wait a minute. Orly Taitz can’t be BOTH a rat and a plant??? What’s next, she’s some kind of mineral??? Chris Farrell goes on to ask:

Could what appears to be an advance in the District of Columbia wherein Orly is proceeding in court against the Social Security numbers that have been employed by Mister Obama/Soetoro/Soebarkah/Bounel be a subversive effort at getting out in front of the evidence and destroying its credibility–an effort on the part of the Obama camp to achieve a ruling against such evidence as credible that will undermine the presentation of any related evidence presented in front of the Alabama Supreme Court where Atty. Larry Klayman is reported to, at some time in the future, present the evidence uncovered by Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s volunteer Cold Case Posse including evidence related to Mister Obama’s fraudulent Social Security numbers?

http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2013/06/orly-taitz-i-smell-rat-says-ppsimmons.html

Actually, in Earth language,  this was a very short Internet Article. Let me recap the whole thing for you:

Paragraph 1. Question. I am convinced Orly Taitz is trying to mess up and derail the eligibility question. (Note: This is a question??? It looks more like a statement or conclusion to me.)

Paragraph 2. Is Orly Taitz trying to mess up and derail the eligibility question in Washington D.C. before Larry Klayman can mess it up and derail it in Alabama??? (Note: OK, maybe I added a few snarky words, but the general thrust is the same. Plus, I think I found the missing question from Paragraph 1.)

Paragraph 3. Could Orly Taitz be a covert Obama agent  trying to mess up and derail the eligibility question??? (Note: Oops. maybe this is the missing question from Paragraph 1???)

Paragraph 4. Could Orly Taitz be a covert agent who is trying to mess up and derail the eligibility question through incompetence before it gets to the Alabama court??? (Note: Strangely, this question sounds familiar. Did I hear it just a few seconds ago, somewhere???)

Paragraph 5. Could Orly Taitz be a covert agent who is theatrically trying to mess up and derail the eligibility question before someone else can get it to court??? (Note: Now I know this is starting to sound familiar. This guy better lay off the questions because he is running out of room.)

Paragraph 6. Could Orly Taitz be a covert agent who is choreographically  trying to mess up and derail the eligibility question before someone else can get it to court??? (Note: OK, wait just a minute. Is Chris getting paid by the word???

Paragraph 7. Whose side is Orly Taitz on??? (Note: This was a very short paragraph containing only the six previous words. And, another darn question.)

Paragraph 8. If you ask me, I smell a rat. (Note: Now wait just a minute! WE didn’t get to ask anything. YOU did all the asking! Six whole paragraphs that all sounded about the same!!!)

Notice how Birthery the whole thing was.  Chris gave us a conclusion, then asked a series of questions which were all similar. Then, he reached the same conclusion that he started out with. Uh, isn’t something missing out of all this??? Like ANSWERS. Proof and evidence. That kind of stuff.

If anybody wants an example of how totally screwed up the Birther Mind is, this is it. Conclusions. . . backed up by questions. .    .with no evidence. . . and ending in the same conclusion. Hmmm. At least Orly Taitz should understand the process.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the hilarious 1931 Laurel and Hardy movie, Beau Hunks.  This seems appropriate for Mr. Farrell since he claims to have once been a member of The French Foreign Legion. Those who have seen the movie, or who know anything at all about the Legion, know that everybody who joins up is doing so to forget some woman. Here is a photograph I obtained which show the woman Mr. Farrell is still trying to forget:

Note 2. Beau Hunks. Here is a link to the full movie. If you have never seen it, it is well worth the 35 minutes or so.

Note 3. For ESL’s, The Image Easter Egg,  riff raff:

riff•raff (ˈrɪfˌræf)

n.
1. disreputable people.
2. the lowest classes; rabble.
3. trash; rubbish.

[1425–75; late Middle English rif and raf every particle, things of small value < Old French rif et raf]

Just for fun, the Rif were Moroccan tribesman and the enemies of the French Foreign Legion in the Beau Hunks film. See this, from Wiki:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rif_War

The Plundered Paradise Of The Post and Email!!!

You Could Bring Your Own Birther, But Sharon Rondeau Insisted On The Cover Charge!!!

Imagine a Birther/Patriot Island Paradise! Tuesdays and Fridays would be dress-up day, and Special Snowflake Patriots could put on their tri-corner hats, grab a fife, or a drum, or a musket, and march around to their hearts delight! They could even sing the Patriot Song

The P and E Patriot Song
(to the tune of Streets Of Laredo):

Patriot 1:    I see by your outfit that YOU are a Patriot!

Patriot 2:   I see by your outfit YOU’RE a Patriot, too!

Patriots 1 and 2: We see by our outfits that WE are both Patriots!

Patriot Chorus:  If YOU get an outfit, YOU can be a Patriot, too!!!

At which point, Empress Sharon Rondeau, points out that P and E sells Patriot Outfits in sizes up to 6XL at the P and E Store!

Bestest of all, even if nasty old Obots and Anti-Birther trespassers made it to the Blessed Isle, they would face an Impenetrable  Wall Of Pay to prevent them from harassing the merry crew and interfering with their fun!

Sharon Rondeau is presiding over just such a lost kingdom. The cheapest of the lowly pay two bucks a month to enter the cloistered site,  and are stripped naked on the way out. They are permitted to take nothing with them. However, Birther paradise, with its tawdry Birther love slaves, is slowly disintegrating before her very eyes! Paradise is being PLUNDERED! Some Birthers and Patriots are having their fun for free! Here is an excerpt from Empress Rondeaus’ royal snit:

The Post & Email’s Work Stolen, Reposted, Altered without Permission

Posted By Sharon Rondeau On Sunday, June 16, 2013 @ 11:56 PM In National | 2 Comments
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INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY PROTECTED BY U.S. COPYRIGHT LAW

by Sharon Rondeau

(Jun. 16, 2013) — The Post & Email has become aware that despite copy-protection and copyright notices on every article it publishes, various bloggers are reproducing our work without our permission or proper remuneration. To our knowledge, those who have stolen our most recent articles on Glenn Beck’s news are not even subscribers to The Post & Email.

Because of extraordinary expenses made necessary by Obots hacking the site over more than two years, The Post & Email must ask a small subscription fee for its work, which we believe is unique on the web.  There is also a free level which offers limited content.  We believe our rates are the lowest for the high-quality news and editorial we provide.  The stealing of our work is injurious to our attempts to grow into a full-fledged news organization.

Making copies of copyrighted news reports is the same as copying music:  illegal.  The copyright owner will never reap the rewards of his or her diligent work if it is copied without remuneration for the time and effort required to produce it.  If America is to regain any semblance of capitalism, its people must think like capitalists rather than take other people’s work and expect it to be free.

http://www.thepostemail.com/2013/06/16/the-post-emails-work-stolen-reposted-altered-without-permission/

Whoa, I haz a confuzzled! How can you rip off Glenn Beck’s news from the TV or some other website,  dress it up a little, put it on your website, and then complain when somebody else takes it off yours, and puts it on their website???  Particularly when they properly attribute the news back to the P and E. The news itself, is NOT subject to copyright.  If a person reads in The Post and Email that Glenn Beck says Justice Roberts was pressured to approve Obamacare, then relays that same information, that is not necessarily an infringement,  as long as the form of the information is different.

However, it appears people have simply been cutting and pasting and forwarding the entirety of her Internet Articles to new places.  Frankly, she is nuts to complain about it. I am sure she reaches a far larger audience that she would otherwise. Some of those more distant viewers are likely to visit her website, and she has a better chance of making a subscription sale. This is particularly advantageous when you are a relatively small website and not highly or widely respected.

First, you lasso an audience in, and then you grab for the money. This is how the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal work. Plus, they give the reader a number of free articles without a subscription. This is because they want people to visit their website and grow to love it over time. To come to need the website along with their Cheerios and toast in the morning. To get to where visiting the website is a routine. But that is how people think who don’t live in self-imposed isolation from the Real World.

Not so much at P and E. Like any group of animals isolated on an island, there is a lot of inbreeding going on at The Post and Email. Most of her articles are just a rehash of the same Birther nonsense that is on all the Birther websites.  Or a rehash of the other latest breaking news making the rounds of the Patriot Circuit. By and large, if you don’t read it at the P and E, you can read it at a hundred other places.

About the only original material is the occasional Open Letter from an Indignant Birther, or Outraged Patriot.  Monroe County Tennessee gets an undue amount of attention, but that will probably end whenever Walter Fitzpatrick starts taking his meds on a regular basis. Because of all the wackadoodle content, even when Rondeau breaks a story, she doesn’t get any respect. Witness the reception of her EXCLUSIVE that a Glenn Beck Interview wasn’t coming off after all”

Glenn Beck’s Earthshaking News Postponed until Monday.

Breaking: Exclusive: Sen. Mike Lee Not Scheduled to Appear on Beck’s Monday Show

Skip Intro

Wingnuts • 1 day ago • Views: 389

Right out of Wingnut Central, Sharon Rondeau’s Post and Efail discovers that GLENN BECK LIES.

WHAT HAPPENED?

On Friday, radio show Glenn Beck announced that Sen. Mike Lee would be a guest on his show on Monday, June 17, 2013, to say that surveillance of lawmakers by the Obama campaign occurred during the run-up to the 2012 elections, which was stated by Rep. Steve King that day.

At 12:12 p.m. EDT, The Post & Email contacted Sen. Lee’s office and asked for the media person. We were placed on hold for a few moments and connected with Emily Bennion. We asked her if a press release about the contention that Roberts was pressured would be issued after his appearance on Beck’s show today, to which Ms. Bennion responded that, contrary to Beck’s announcement, Sen. Lee is not scheduled to appear on Beck’s show. “We’ll have to contact the producer of his show,” she told us.

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/page/298343_Glenn_Becks_Earthshaking_News_

I bolded and italicized the lead in above: Right out of Wingnut Central, Sharon Rondeau’s Post and Efail discovers that GLENN BECK LIES.  This is her real problem, not that a few of her subscribers spread her stuff for free. Rondeau is not a bad writer, at all. Her stories are coherent and presented in a professional fashion.  But her respectable stories are all mixed in with the idiot stuff. Take a look at today’s front page:

(Click On Image To Make Larger.)

The stories on the left would be worth taking a gander out. The stories on the right???  You could set Earnest Hemingway to writing that stuff and it would still go nowhere except to a very limited bunch of nuts, and a very limited number of people who like to laugh at those nuts. I can understand and relate to Rondeaus’s desire to make some money off all her work. Blogging takes a lot of time and energy. But Rondeau errs when she says:

The stealing of our work is injurious to our attempts to grow into a full-fledged news organization.

No. It is the nature of your stories that are injurious to your attempts to grow.  What person from the wider non-Birther universe  is going to believe anything you write about California State Lawmakers when the story is sitting right next to Will Dan Pfieffer Respond About the Forgery??  If you are attached to nutty conspiracy theories, at least pick out some with wider appeal. Like Big Foot, Roswell, and the Alien Autopsies.

And quit protecting your Birther and silly-ass Patriot Special Snowflakes.  You don’t earn any respect by shielding them (and yourself) from valid criticisms.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Images This is the Empress of the Galopagos, Baroness Eloise Wehrborn, and one of her lovers,  the toothless dentist Robert Phillipson. I thought she was a most appropriate representative of what usually happens when people flee the real world for supposed Paradises. Here is a brief blurb about her, by Dunwoodie Hall:

The name of Baroness Eloise Wehrborn is now virtually forgotten in the dusty pages of history. Yet a little over a quarter of a century ago this voluptuous noblewoman from Vienna shocked European high-hats first as a sexy belly dancer in the cabarets of every capital city and then as the self-appointed Empress of a Pacific island which she ruled with a Colt .45 slung around her curvy waist.

No story in the annals of violence can match the fantastic and bizarre account of the itchy-fingered Baroness who turned her tropical paradise in the Galapagos Islands into a hell-hole of murder and lust. From her crude castle of stones, clay and palm logs, Eloise ruled like a female Napoleon, brandishing the ugly .45 with which she shot to death a number of victims in her mad drive for power.

From the time she was 16, Eloise was a problem child to the Austrian family that boasted of an old noble lineage. Instead of finishing her education at the convent, she escaped and set her sights on Paris. There in the Left Bank she achieved a kind of notoriety with her escapades among the cult of free-love practitioneers.  Thus in July 1932 she left Marseilles with Paul [sic, Alfred] Rudolph Lorenz, who was her dancing instructor, and Robert Philippson, weakling son of a wealthy German merchant.

The trio’s wild plan met with a temporary snag when they arrived in Panama. They had to wait several months there until they could scrounge up a ship to take them to the Galapagos. Thus only in December of 1932 did they eventually land on the tiny isle of Floreana in the Galapagos. Hardly had the boat, which brought them to Floreana, disappeared over the horizon when the crazed Eloise showed her true colors.

She stripped off her lady-like clothing to the bare essentials. Strapped around her hips was a low-slung holster with a pearl-handled revolver. From her suitcase she extracted a short, but mean-looking whip. Both Lorenz and Philippson looked upon this act as quaint, something of a delightfully eccentric touch. Their surprise was turned into sheer amazement, however, when Eloise—her blonde hair bobbing in the sea breeze—jerked out the Colt, fired two shots in the sand, gave a short snap with the whip and proclaimed herself Empress of the Galapagos Islands.

No two men could have been more stunned than Lorenz and Philippson. They had pictured this jaunt as one of romance and excitement. Now they recognized the Baroness was simply out of her mind. She had been plotting an entirely different set-up from what the two would-be adventurers had anticipated. And when Eloise informed them they would serve as her “slaves,” the men realized they were the dupes of a twisted mind that would know no bounds.

http://www.galapagos.to/TEXTS/MANSACTION.HTM

There is also a fascinating 4 part series at the Smithsonian Website, with one rather interesting video:

http://siarchives.si.edu/blog/empress-galapagos-islands-part-i

http://siarchives.si.edu/blog/empress-galapagos-islands-part-2

http://siarchives.si.edu/blog/empress-galapagos-islands-part-3

http://siarchives.si.edu/blog/empress-galapagos-islands-part-4

And, an upcoming movie with the voice of Cate Blanchett and others:

No wonder that all these years later those events inspired documentary film makers Dan Geller and Dayna Goldfine to co-produce and direct “The Galapagos Affair: Satan Came to Eden,” featuring the voices of  Cate Blanchett, Diane Kruger, Connie Nielsen, Josh Radnor, Sebastian Koch, Thomas Kretschmann and Gustaf Skarsgard. As reported in “The Wrap,” The film is now in post-production and will be released later this year.

http://www.galapagosdigital.com/2013/06/13/coming-soon-to-a-screen-near-you-the-saga-of-the-empress-of-galapagos/

Note 2. Plundering Paradise. This is from the title of a book about the people who live in The Galapagos.

PLUNDERING PARADISE: The Hand of Man on the Galpagos Islands

Michael D’Orso, Author . HarperCollins $24.95 (368p) ISBN 978-0-06-019390-4

With rich, witty prose as colorful as the characters he describes, D’Orso reveals the human side of the Galápagos, including the owner of the Galápagos Hotel, Jack Nelson, an American who has lived there since 1967; Christy Gallardo, an American who visited the island as a tourist and fell in love with and married an Ecuadorean man; and Mary Rodriguez, the wife of a Galápagan farmer who in 1992 opened the first and only “gentlemen’s club” called Quatro y Media. This is a stellar study of the alchemy of man and nature.

http://www.publishersweekly.com/978-0-06-019390-4

Note 3. Bad Fiction has a great Internet Article about this, too. It is at the link, under June 16, 2013. Here is an exceprt, and to protect your keyboard, be sure you swallow any Coke or Pepsi or Franzia White Zinfadel wine before you read it:

http://badfiction.typepad.com/badfiction/2013/06/dispatches-from-birtherstan-15-17-june-2013.html

And finally, since when has it taken hours for Sharon Rondeau to research anything? For that matter, since when HAS Sharon Rondeau researched anything. Her usual criteria is that if it’s against Obama, then she’ll print it. Unless she’s trying to claim that articles that claim President Obama is a “Reptile Person” are “well researched…..”

“Because of extraordinary expenses made necessary by Obots hacking the site over more than two years, “So some right-wing nutcase copies and pastes Rondeau’s crap all over the place, and yet somehow it’s the fault of the “Obots”?? Ooookay then.

“The Post & Email must ask a small subscription fee for its work, which we believe is unique on the web. “It’s not unique. There are pay sites all over the place, and conspiracy sites too. Sharon Rondeau simply thinks that the same people who can get this crap for free at The Blaze, Stormfront, and other sites like those, are willing to feed her delusion that her blog is a money-making journalistic source.

Professional seditionist Sharon Rondeau has a problem – her target audience is too cheap to subscribe to her blog. Yet she can’t complain too much because they’re her target audience.

Note 4. Special Snowflakes. I first heard Michele Malkin say this on Megyn Kelly’s show yesterday. Maybe I am NOT getting out enough??? Here is what it means, from the Urban Dictionary:

A member of that newly-adult, me’er-than-me generation which expects attention and praise just for being themselves — doing anything to deserve it is completely optional.

Oh, he’s too much of special snowflake to get a day job — his mom’s paying the rent while he hangs out waiting for the perfect high-paying project to come along. I guess the market for C-minus filmmaking majors is a little soft right now or something.

A problem person. A person who thinks they are unique, different and therefor more special that everyone else. Derived from too many parents telling their kids they are “special,” like a “snowflake.” Typically used by used by those in the customer service or retail industry to refer to bad customers.

That lady was a special snowflake, in a blizzard of other special snowflakes; shes unique, just like everyone else.

BREAKING!!! NSA Cryptographers Stumped By Birthers!!! (Or, Butterdezillion Saves Israel???)

Deciphering Butterdezillion Communications Were Particularly Labor Intensive

This is a VERY SERIOUS Internet Article. If I disappear in the next few days, this will be the reason why! A person claiming to be a high level employee of the NSA, the National Security Agency CALLED me on my cell phone!!! Nobody would know my real person cell phone number but the NSA! And, my BFF Fabian Sheen, Esq., an attorney.  She is the only other person in the whole world who knows that the REAL ME is Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter!  and she says it wasn’t her. So the NSA guy must have found this out as part of their Prism Project.

He said the NSA was making selective disclosures of their successes to counter criticism of their widespread monitoring and data collection. If that is the case here, then I am safe. Because I am helping the NSA. But if the guy was actually Eric Snowden, then I am just an unwitting dupe and  totally screwed. So, when you read this, make a screen save and hide it somewhere in case you have to get me out of Gitmo, or  un-renditioned from some foreign hell hole. Fabia has promised to take care of my cats.

Anyway, according to Mr. X,  the NSA is having literal, real live fits with the Birthers. I made notes as we talked. He says the Birthers first popped up on their radar screens in 2008 when the words “Chinese” and “Wong Kim Ark” increased their word count level in some database thingy. On top of that, he said the name, “Vattel” was being picked up as “Patel” in aural recordings. Patel is like the “Smith” of last names in India. This gave the whole Birther thing sinister Asian overtones.

To continue, and all this is from him, he said that there was some disagreement at first between those who thought the Birther chatter was just meaningless, mindless babble, and those who thought it was just meaningless, mindless babble with secret messages hidden inside. The first problems came from the NSA Communications Analysis staff.  Mr. X said that these staff members, well trained in foreign languages, are extremely sensitive to the placement of nouns, verbs, and objects in sentence structure, whether oral or written. They are trained to take note of subtle changes in sentence structures and phrasing.

After analyzing Birther communications, several of these individuals began suffering from nervous tics, random involuntary head shaking, and various dissociative disorders wherein they would experience short, but significant breaks from reality. The syndrome was given the name, Birther Language  Induced Psychosis, or simply BLIP. The NSA was able to overcome this condition by augmenting regular staff training with a three week internship at a mental hospital.  The multi-week exposure to the inmates and mental patients acted as a sort of vaccination to boost the analysts’ tolerance levels.

Which, is where the next problem occurred. Mr. X says that the NSA has something they call Mathematical Algorithm Language Ware, or MAL Ware. This is very technical and way over my head. But, I will try to explain it the same way he explained it to me.  He said that sentences and phrases can be converted to mathematical values, and then analyzed as math, not language. Words like “if, then, therefore, conclusion, maybe, and all” get converted to symbols and then analyzed for meanings.

He said MAL Ware was able to translate almost any word in any language to these symbols, and then analyze the whole communication. But, sometimes the results came out like a bad Google language translation.  So, during the three weeks that the analysis staff was occupied getting exposed to psychotics, and people who talk to telephone poles, the NSA had to run all the Birther stuff through the MAL Ware computer program. There were some unexpected results.

For example, language from Mario Apuzzo, Esq., caused the MAL Ware machine hard drives to spin at high speeds for prolonged periods of time while producing no discernible result whatsoever.  Input from Butterdezillion produced much more malignant results. MAL Ware CPU’s began chugging down like a car does when it gets dirt in the fuel line. Then, the CPU would overheat, and melt out of its soldering. Some NSA computer technicians were  convinced the CPU chips were trying to crawl away from the Mother Board on their little legs. Further analysis discovered that unlike normal computer code, which consists of “ones” and “zeros”,  the Birther translated code was almost entirely composed of nothing! It was mostly all zeros!

This had severe national security implications, and an emergency meeting at the White House was convened.  Some advisers claimed this was part of a Chinese led hacking program, called WKA.  And, that as the bad Birther code further devolved into something called low level machine language, computers across the country would begin to melt down.

Other advisors were convinced that this was a fortuitous event, and the United States should take advantage of its higher than normal percentage  of crazy persons.  They argued that rational persons could never develop the depths of irrational thought patterns exhibited by the Birthers. Because MAL Ware could translate the irrational thought processes into mathematical code, the United States could quickly weaponize this advantage.

An uneasy truce was reached between the two sides. The NSA immediately contacted operators of the nation’s internet and communication infrastructure to route all known Birther-related communications through a special optical fiber cable network for further analysis. For reasons of national security, the IRS was instructed to slow down “patriot” and “Tea Party” 504(c) applications to reduce the load of Birther traffic on the already strained network. The website belonging to Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.  was periodically hacked by the NSA to further reduce the magnitude of the potentially destructive Birther code.

A separate computer group working inside the NSA began work combining  snippets of Apuzzo code and snippets of Butterdezillion code into a destructive computer virus called STUX.  By 2010, this code was deployed in Iran to destroy the computer driven devices in their nuclear program.  It was a success, and a potential nuclear war between Israel and Iran was temporarily avoided.

These scientists are convinced that if they can learn to comprehend the illogic contained in Butterdezillion’s writings, particularly where “in-valid” is not opposed to “valid”, but instead entirely contained within “valid”,  they can create a Super-Stux virus.  Meanwhile, the WKA group, who are convinced the Birthers are part of a secret Chinese computer infiltration plot, continue to analyze the various Birther communications for any hidden rational meanings. So far, they have struck out.

However, both groups are convinced of the potential dangers from handling the Birther material. A new NSA complex is being constructed in Utah which will house both groups, safe and apart from Washington, D.C., and other high population centers. Just in case the whole darn thing melts down.

I am pretty sure this is a true story, because it explains so many things that have happened and that are currently in the news.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. If you can’t read the signs on the wall, just click on the Image to make it larger.  As far as the Image Easter Egg, this is another word play. Rotors were utilized in early coding and de-coding machines. A roto-rooter on the other hand, is a useful device for unplugging sewer lines. Wiki has an interesting article on the early machines:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptanalysis_of_the_Enigma

The Mad Moldovan Versus Deputy Dork!!! (The Taitz v. Zullo Grudge Match)

Zullo Being Tormented By The Moldovan Crab!!!

Every spring, as the saps rise across the country, the Birthers seem to get feisty and fidgety.  There is always an undercurrent of struggle, much like animals competing for food. But it seems to intensify in the spring. They begin quarreling and fighting with each other in earnest. The male Birthers develop a strange desire to dominate and suppress the female Birthers. I would not be surprised if there was some kind of primitive rutting behavior going on.

In 2009, it was Philip Berg versus Orly Taitz:

http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/05/liberi-et-al-v-taitz-et-al/

In February 2010, it was Taitz against her former para-legal Charles Lincoln and his witness, Lucas Smith:

http://www.ocweekly.com/2010-02-18/news/orly-taitz-florida/

In 2011, there was a quiet spell. I think maybe all the Donald Trump rumblings and subsequent April 27, 2011 release of Obama’s long form birth certificate quieted the herd down. If I were doing active field research, I would hypothesize that Donald Trump took on the role of Alpha Male, and the other male Birthers backed down in submission.

Last spring,  the feuding came back to life with a vengeance. This was the Orly Taitz-Dean Haskins kerfluffle.  See the 4-Part Birther Feud Trilogy which started here:

http://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/02/17/trouble-in-birther-paradise-0r-a-diet-of-worms-part-1-of-the-birther-feud-trilogy/

That conflict saw an active schism develop between the ObamaReleaseYourRecords Sophisticate Sect, and the Orly Taitz Raving Fundamentalists. Now, internecine conflict has erupted again. The PPSimmons blog has fired several rounds into Taitz on behalf of Zullo and crew. Here are several examples:

Has Orly Taitz “Stepped In It?” BHO Operative? Inept? … Or National Hero?

Here is the test. For a few months now – some have speculated that Orly Taitz may, in fact, be an Obama operative. They maintain that Orly has filed numerous cases and lost everyone while at the same time claiming to be the “world’s leading authority” in the matter. Her efforts have led, they say, to an ever increasing marginalization of real Obama identity fraud investigations. The fact that she continually calls for Arpaio and Zullo to “file charges” when she, as an attorney and world expert, should know that doing so would devastate the case in a legal sense, many believe is evidence that Taitz may be working for the other side. Why, many have asked, would the world’s leading expert and attorney continually push losing cases before federal courts only to make the birthers look more and more inept? Hmmm. Yes – why? indeed.

We at PPSIMMONS wish Orly “God-speed” in this matter. If she wins this case – we will loudly blow the trumpet for Orly Taitz and thank her profusely. But, alas, we don’t think that is going to happen.

So… is Orly Taitz an Obama operative? Is she merely an inept attorney desperately seeking fame and fortune, as some have suggested? … Or is she a national hero?  We hope and pray she is proven to be the latter. At this point though, the evidence doesn’t point that way.  Stay tuned…

http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/2013/06/has-orly-taitz-stepped-in-it-bho.html

And this one,  which I really suspect is pheromone based:

Orly Taitz? “I smell a rat” says PPSIMMONS Contributor

By Chris Farrell

Question: I am convinced that Atty. Orly Taitz is an Obama plant; an agent working to get out in front of any given dimension of the eligibility issue and derail its progress in the courts and diffuse its truthful dissemination in the media.

Could what appears to be an advance in the District of Columbia wherein Orly is proceeding in court against the Social Security numbers that have been employed by Mister Obama/Soetoro/Soebarkah/Bounel be a subversive effort at getting out in front of the evidence and destroying its credibility–an effort on the part of the Obama camp to achieve a ruling against such evidence as credible that will undermine the presentation of any related evidence presented in front of the Alabama Supreme Court where Atty. Larry Klayman is reported to, at some time in the future, present the evidence uncovered by Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s volunteer Cold Case Posse including evidence related to Mister Obama’s fraudulent Social Security numbers?

Could Atty. Taitz’ presentation of the evidence surrounding Mister Obama’s fraudulent Social Security Numbers be nothing less than a managing by a covert agent working for Obama’s team of the public portrayal in the media of such evidence as unreliable? A close look at her presentation of the evidence will tell.

In other words: Is Atty. Taitz managing the defeat of such evidence by means of weakly presenting the evidence in such a fashion which permits its defeat as legitimate in the D.C. courtroom, thus undermining any future–as in its introduction before the Alabama State Supreme Court–presentation of the evidence or news reporting on any such presentation?

http://ppsimmons.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-06-15T13:10:00-07:00&max-results=7

Orly Taitz, a second degree black belt in Taekwondo, is no Shy Violet, and has fired quite a few broadsides, herself. She will not back down.

I feel like the law enforcement people putting bets on the maniac treasure hunters in It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.  I guess it comes with the territory. So, my money is on Taitz! She has the legs to see this thing through to the end.  Zullo and his boys haven’t made it to court once in over a year. They are great at standing around and crowing, but when it comes to putting pencil to paper and doing something, they all seem to have other places to be.

Plus, Taitz can do her own dirty work. She doesn’t need to fight through mouthpieces. So, let’s get ready to rumble!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Wrestling Hold.  Taitz has Zullo in the Moldovan Crab hold. This  is a Rocking Horse variation of the Reverse Boston Crab.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_crab

The Moldovan Crab variation was perfected by Gypsies in the late 1700′s as a way to immobilize a victim, while an accomplice picked their pockets. Taitz, a student of Krav Maga, viciously utilizes her body weight against Zullo’s hamstrings rather than merely locking his legs with hers.  If Zullo had pockets in his wrestling costume, his wallet and valuables would be ripe pickings. This video shows the less advanced variation of this technique as utilized by Cassidy Riley against AJ Styles.

It is unlikely Zullo will be able to overcome the damage done by the hold, his legs having been effectively cut out from under him. While he may not lose his wallet, he will be physically incapable of soliciting funds for a considerable length of time.

Note 2. Intergender Wrestling: Some people may not believe that Intergender Wrestling actually occurs as an organized activity outside of bedrooms and back seats, but as this video clearly shows, it was an established sport by 1981. Mr. Andrew Kaufman, who may or may not be dead,  was the first champion. He can be distinguished from Deputy Zullo above by his lack of a mustache. Here is his match against The Red Snapper!

Note 3. Sexual Components of Intergender Wrestling.: Actually, Intergender Wrestling has a long history, with and without sexual components. Time and space limit the discussion to Andrew Kaufman who, as reported by Brian Nemtusak:

Zmuda set up Kaufman’s first private wrestling match in 1978, actually a contest between two female friends based on a rumor that Elvis had a wrestling fetish. Kaufman ended up wrestling and sleeping with one of them, which would become the formula for hundreds of subsequent conquests. Zmuda and Kaufman soon incorporated “intergender wrestling” into Kaufman’s act, initially on college tours and then on SNL. Neither author makes excuses for Kaufman–for him, wrestling was a turn-on and, even in the context of his show, a shtick for getting laid. (Midway through most matches Kaufman would invite his opponent to join him after the show, and according to Zmuda about a third of them weren’t hard to convince; eventually Kaufman would install a wrestling mat next to his bed.) But wrestling was also another childhood passion that perfectly matched his choreographed fakery and manufactured conflict, well suited to stoking the audience’s scorn. Only the sexist goading was entirely phony, yet it polarized his fans as never before and generated a backlash that would only begin with demands that Kaufman wrestle a man.

http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/being-andy-kaufman/Content?oid=901185

Where Turkeys Dare!!! (Or, The Fogbow Quivers???)

As Expected, The Birther Contingent Was Having A Little Trouble Getting To The Meeting

Well, it must have been one heck of an after-party!  The Birther Knucklehead known as Yoel is still drunk as a skunk as the dawn breaks over Laguna Niguel.  He made this recent threat/promise/total invented fantasy over at Orly Taitz’s Patriot Cocktail Lounge:

(Click On Image To Make Larger.)

http://www.orlytaitzesq.com/?p=425045#comments

Yoel
June 15th, 2013 @ 7:48 am

Attacks can and shall be countered. A massive conservative blogging team has been formed and financed and is bow in training, many members are former military propagandists…

Yoel
June 15th, 2013 @ 7:52 am

We’ll just see how The Fogblowhards fare against extremely aggressive and endless 24/7/365 opposition…

If the Internet had a bouncer, Yoel would be getting “thrown into public” about this time. The very idea that Birthers can organize and do anything is laughable. They can’t organize enough to win a single court case, even when there are 3 Birther attorneys versus an empty chair, and a judge asking them, “Hey, do youse guys want a free win???” Every Birfapalooza event fizzles. Even when you get some Birfers together, form them into a posse, and sent them out on the trail, they can’t get enough evidence to convict the unsub of jaywalking.

Sure, Yoel, I am sure the whole Fogbow is quivering about now. From convulsions of laughter.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from a WWII movie called Where Eagles Dare, starring Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood.

Note 2. Being Thrown Into Public:  This was a phrase originated by Ron White:

Orly Taitz As “The Sorceror’s Apprentice”???

From Merlin’s Database She Druid The Wrong Conclusions???

Well, now we all know the source of Orly’s power!  She is a witch who has access to Merlin’s Database! Here is a screenshot of her recent post:

Here is the link, where you can read some meaningless comments from her Flying Monkeys, if you so desire:

http://www.orlytaitzesq.com/?p=425045

Sooo, what is Merlin’s Information System? If you go to their main website, you learn nothing except that they are honest, committed, cost effective, etc. etc. etc. and when you finish reading it all, you still don’t have much of a clue what the heck they do. BUT, this website, put together by attorneys,  goes into much more juicy details! (WARNING! AVISO! ACHTUNG! The website is found at Justia, an online legal reporting service, which means this article may have been scrubbed or altered by evil and nefarious Obots!)

http://archive.virtualchase.justia.com/articles/merlin.html

Here is a screenshot of part of the page:

(Click On Image To Make Larger.)

This excerpt is interesting:

Another reason Merlin is worth considering, is that Merlin is the last of the pay investigative research databases we’re aware of that will give access to full Social Security numbers to attorneys. However, this access requires lawyers to submit to an on-site office visit by a Merlin representative and incur a one-time $100 charge for the visit to insure that you fall within the Gramm-Leach-Bliley and Fair Credit Reporting Acts’ permitted uses for accessing Social Security number information. Each time you use Merlin, you must select a permitted use for the search. (After its purchase by LexisNexis, Accurint began to restrict Social Security number access only to attorneys whose practice is strictly in collections. Some attorneys report they still have access to full Social Security numbers if their Accurint account pre-dates the Lexis purchase.)

On this brief survey, The Merlin system seems professional enough, but like any tool, the user ought to know what they are using, and why. This excerpt sums up pretty well what happens when tyros get in over their heads:

That bit about identifying people by the wrong sex is directly verifiable in Neil Sankey’s low-quality list, which begins by listing Stanley Ann Dunham’s sex as “male” 10 times and as “female” 0 times. Stanley Ann Dunham is the name of Barack Obama’s mother. Was Barack Obama’s mother a man? Now that would be a really explosive revelation! Other clear errors find their way into Sankey’s list — the frequent misspelling of Barack Obama’s name is one and the placement of the White House in the states of Maryland and California is another. My favorite is the record which places Barack Obama’s residence at 1234 Happy Street, a street in Covington Washington that does not exist.

Finally, what does Neil Sankey think of his own list? The Guardian asked him:

Most recently, he carried out an exhaustive search of databases that he claims threw up 140 different identification numbers and addresses for “Barack Obama”. He admits the findings prove nothing — there is nothing to link the entries to the president…

Let’s sum up: an error-riddled search with repeated false genders, multiple false names, dozens of false street addresses, and a few false states for something as easily located as the White House, generated from databases that at times contain more inaccurate information than accurate information, somehow generates multiple social security numbers for Barack Obama. Meanwhile, the search is rejected as proving nothing by the very person who carried it out.

There are two conclusions you can draw from this:

1. This sure is one screwed up list.
2. Clearly, Stanley Ann Dunham was a man and Barack Obama does not actually exist.

I go with Option 1.

http://irregulartimes.com/index.php/archives/2010/05/17/fact-check-neil-sankey-barack-obama-27-numbers/

So, this is a very old story, one going back almost 2,000 years . . .:

My apologies to Mickey Mouse for associating him with Orly Taitz!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. Well, this is strange indeed, and it must be MAGICK!!!  From the neck up it is Orly Taitz, aka Orly the Strange, Orly le Fay, Fatta Stupana, and “The More! Again!”.  From the neck down, it is the beautiful and talented actress M’el Dowd, in her dress as Morgan le Fay from the Broadway musical, Camelot. Here she is:

Note 2. Morgan le Fay. To understand more about Morgan, try this link. She is an utterly fascinating character:

http://www.lib.rochester.edu/camelot/morgmenu.htm

Obama Of Arabia Outflanks Cold Case Posse!!!

The KGB Helped Obama Escape Into The Desert, One Step Ahead Of A Traffic Ticket

Well, one of the latest rumors is that Obama is a Saudi. That one came from Sheriff Mark “Big Iron” Kessler of Fracktown, PA, who supposedly got it straight from the Cold Case Posse’s lips. Here is what we learned before Kessler decided he wasn’t part of the “birther deal” any more:

(Click On Image To Make Larger.)

Now Kessler supposedly learned this at the June 1, 2013 Constitutional Sheriffs and Peace Officers Convention in St. Charles, Missouri. Let’s examine the rumors a little more closely, and what he was told VIA cold case possie:

1) Bozo isn’t American nor was he born in Hawaii;

2) They believe he’s Saudi;

3) Their not his real parents;

4) Russia is involved;

5) It wasn’t an accident he’s President;

6) Bill Ayers and the weather underground are involved;

7) Kenya played a role, Hawaii state officials did the birth certificate;

8) He has several other names , not just the ones the public knows about;

9) He doesn’t exist in the USA until the age of 5…..

10) WE’RE ALL F*CKED

Now most of those are just variations of one sort or the other on previous rumors. But No.10 really bothered me. What in the world did the CCP mean when they told Kessler, “WE’RE ALL F*CKED”??? Then it hit me. Maybe they were talking about themselves, not the country. Maybe it is the Cold Case Posse which is “F*CKED.” Because, this little tidbit came out a few days later as a result of the Taitz-Zullo-Gallups kerfluffle:

Zullo said Taitz “apparently… doesn’t understand what jurisdiction means” because Obama “has not committed a crime in Maricopa County or the state of Arizona regarding his Social Security number.”

“I know [Taitz] had 20-some-odd court cases on this very issue and maybe now she’s feeling very threatened,” Zullo said. “There is not enough evidence to convict him on jaywalking … let alone anything else.”

But Zullo said he is seeking a congressional hearing to remove the president from office.

http://missionviejo.patch.com/groups/politics-and-elections/p/orly-taitz-criticized-by-sheriff-joe-arpaios-cold-case-posse

Zullo said this in a video, which is also at the link in case you want to hear it out of his own mouth. But isn’t this kind of THE SMOKING GUN??? Because when you are conducting a criminal investigation, and you don’t have enough evidence to convict him on jaywalking … let alone anything else doesn’t that mean NOT GUILTY???

Yep. I would say Deputy Zullo and The Cold Case Posse are, in their words,  F*CKED.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter