22 Alternative Reasons Why Obama Won’t Cough It Up!!!

1 Chance in 22 of Guessing the Right Answer!

I have been trying to think of all the possible reasons why Obama would not release his Long Form Birth Certificate, or even a real COLB. I have come up with 22 possible theories, so far. If you can think of others. Please let me know!

Again, for the cost of about two Happy Meals, Obama could have put an original certified Certificate of Live Birth into a Court Record, and put an end to this whole mess over two years ago. Soooo, I’m trying to think like Obama, here:

1. I’m a Kenyan usurper.
2. I’m very stupid.
3. Screw them, I don’t like voters!
4. It shows my real middle name is actually “Heidi.”
5. Some people won’t vote for me if they think I am an American.
6. I want everybody to think the other side is crazy.
7. I’m narcissistic and crave attention!
8. Confused voters make elections more interesting!
9.  Bo, my dog, ate it.
10. I am trying to save the Rain Forest, by using less paper.
11. I am keeping my options open.
12. It shows I have a birthmark shaped like “666.’
13. I hate the Democratic Party and want it to lose!
14. I am very passive-aggressive.
15. The people in Hawaii misplaced it and asked me to “buy them some time.”
16. I like lawyers and love paying legal fees.
17. It gives me an aura of mystery.
18. I am under a magic spell and I can’t do it.
19. I just keep forgetting to do it.
20. I want to see how long it will take for even the OBOTS to get suspicious.
21. It will show I was really born in Wasilla, Alaska.
22. I don’t want to be president any more!

Outside of Reason No. 1, none of them seems reason enough to drag this whole mess out for over two years. So, unless Obama really is a Kenyan Usurper, he ought to just cough it up and end all this stupid stuff. I’ll loan him the $15 or so, if he needs it.

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Obama and the Newspaper Boy – A Moral Tale!!!

Our Baloney Has A Last Name!!! Its O-B-A-M-A

Once upon a time, there was a man named Obama, who owned a Baloney sandwich restaurant, The House of Baloney. He served the very best Baloney sandwiches, made from the very finest Baloney, imported all the way from Hawaii, or Connecticut, and maybe even Kenya. People came from far and wide to get his Baloney. They would say, “Ohhh, but this is such Good Baloney!” They were so fanatic, people even started calling them “O-buts.”

Then one day, a little newspaper boy bought some baloney sandwiches, and when he got home, he discovered his change was $2.00 short! So he went back to Obama and he said, “I want my $2.00, please.”Obama said, “Get lost kid, you bother me!”

Undeterred, the newspaper boy sat outside the House of Baloney with a sign that said, “ I want my $2.00.” He sat there in the rain and the sleet and the snow, for months. At first, everyone thought the newspaper boy was just crazy. Obama swore he had given him the proper change. He put a PICTURE of the cash register tape and deposit slip on the Internet. He even had people swear it was a true picture.

But, as time went on, people began to get suspicious of Obama. Why was he letting this poor little newspaper boy, who might indeed be crazy, just sit out there in the rain, with his poor little sign, exposed to the elements, and sad. And what if, just what if, Obama had kept the $2.00 and not deposited it in the bank. People started not going to the House of Baloney.

The O-buts defended Obama. “It’s his restaurant”, they said. “He doesn’t have to legally give the kid the $2.00 if he doesn’t want to.” That was true enough, but by this time, Obama had already lost 25% of his sales. Some people said, “Just give the kid his $2.00 and quit being a jerk!” “No!” said the O-buts. “This kid is so crazy, that even if you give him the $2.00, he won’t go away!”

So it went on for over two years. People now began to wonder, “Was there really something wrong with Obama?” Because he had lost a lot more in business than the $2.00. They reasoned that even if he didn’t owe it,  something fishy was going on, because there really was no good reason for a sane businessman not to just cough up the two bucks, and move on.

But still the newspaper boy sits there, with his ragged, little homemade sign, the “I want my $2.00″ smeared by rain, and running like two day old mascara,  and the cardboard all wrinkly and fraying at the edges. Inside, Obama sits, twidding his thumbs, and hoping business will pick up.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter