I have been trying to think of all the possible reasons why Obama would not release his Long Form Birth Certificate, or even a real COLB. I have come up with 22 possible theories, so far. If you can think of others. Please let me know!
Again, for the cost of about two Happy Meals, Obama could have put an original certified Certificate of Live Birth into a Court Record, and put an end to this whole mess over two years ago. Soooo, I’m trying to think like Obama, here:
1. I’m a Kenyan usurper.
2. I’m very stupid.
3. Screw them, I don’t like voters!
4. It shows my real middle name is actually “Heidi.”
5. Some people won’t vote for me if they think I am an American.
6. I want everybody to think the other side is crazy.
7. I’m narcissistic and crave attention!
8. Confused voters make elections more interesting!
9. Bo, my dog, ate it.
10. I am trying to save the Rain Forest, by using less paper.
11. I am keeping my options open.
12. It shows I have a birthmark shaped like “666.’
13. I hate the Democratic Party and want it to lose!
14. I am very passive-aggressive.
15. The people in Hawaii misplaced it and asked me to “buy them some time.”
16. I like lawyers and love paying legal fees.
17. It gives me an aura of mystery.
18. I am under a magic spell and I can’t do it.
19. I just keep forgetting to do it.
20. I want to see how long it will take for even the OBOTS to get suspicious.
21. It will show I was really born in Wasilla, Alaska.
22. I don’t want to be president any more!
Outside of Reason No. 1, none of them seems reason enough to drag this whole mess out for over two years. So, unless Obama really is a Kenyan Usurper, he ought to just cough it up and end all this stupid stuff. I’ll loan him the $15 or so, if he needs it.
Tee Hee! Tee Hee!