Obama and the Magic Beans!!!

The Wizard Explains Derivatives To Jack

Everybody knows the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, but just in case you don’t,  here’s a brief recap.  Jack lives with his mother, who is a 99er, and has completely run out of money. Jack’s mother unplugs the XBox, and rousts Jack off the couch, to go to market with the only remaining asset,  Buttercup the cow.  Along the way Jack meets a sharp Wall Street derivatives trader who manages to con Jack out of the cow for a handful of magic beans.  When Jack gets back home his mother is distraught, and unable to afford an attorney, throws the silly magic beans out the back window, and hocks Jack’s XBox.

During the night, the magic beans grow into a huge beanstalk, which Jack proceeds to climb. At the top, Jack finds a goose that lays golden eggs, which he steals from its rightful owner.  Jack slides back down the stalk, and chops it down to evade apprehension, and everybody lives happily ever after.  This is probably a mythological reference to finding the Greater Fool, and destroying the document trail, but that is a story for another time.

But what if the beans had not been magic??? What if the beans were just plain beans???  Such is the state of affairs between the Democrats and Obama.

Because Obama,  much like Jack, has taken something good, solid and productive, like a cow, and swapped it in for the magic beans of Birtherism.  Rather than work to stop the Bush tax cuts, or truly rein in Wall Street, Obama has relied on the magic beans of Birtherism to ensure his re-election. Rather than honestly focus in like a laser on jobs, or exorcise the demons of speculation from the price of oil, Obama has bet his bank on the magic beans of Birtherism, assuming that either sympathy or fear will impel his faithful base to the polls in numbers sufficient to guarantee a second term.

Strangely, this bet did not pay off in 2010.  In what was widely regarded as a referendum on Obama, the Republicans won seats in record numbers and  a majority in the House.  Yet, Obama is still in his backyard, with a bottle of Miracle Grow trying to coax the sprouts upwards. His minions are complicit in this, and if you doubt it, simply watch the media response to Donald Trump. There is more coverage on the missing birth certificate than on Trump’s pledge to confront OPEC and end the trade imbalance with China.

And one can not help but wonder at the Obama supporters. Do they really think the Spectre of Obama “coughing up” a long form birth certificate is going to have the same effect as Lyndon Johnson’s Mushroom Cloud??? Do they really think a majority of voters are going to duck and cover in fear and trembling lest the true birth weight of Obama becomes known???

Sadly, for the Democrats, this is the real world.  They have contentedly swapped Buttercup, the cow, for a handful of beans. Truly, they don’t know beans.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

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About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

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