Everything Old Is New Again!!! (Weiner and the KISS Matrix)

Let Me Be Frank, You Doesn't Hasta Call Me Johnson!"

Well, like the song from All That Jazz (or Barenaked Ladies) says, Everything Old Is New Again. Now we have a brand new Sooper Crisis Of Obfuscation facing the Nation.  Is the Twit Anthony Weiner, or not???  Let me rephrase that. Is the picture tweeted from Rep. Anthony Weiner’s phone, the picture of the Man In The Gray Boxers him, or not???

Once again, a simple question which could be resolved quickly. Much like Obama’s long form version of the birth certificate. But for some reason, Weiner is stringing it out. How do we approach this??? This issue once again proves the value of a “Matrix” approach to analyzing a political question. I bet we can even use a KISS Matrix to explore the possible reasons why we haven’t had an answer yet:

KIDS – It was kids that done it, and Weiner doesn’t want to get them in trouble.
INNOCENT – Weiner is innocent of any part in this.
SET UP – Weiner was set up, is being blackmailed, and can’t say anything.
SNAFU– Weiner just messed up and used poor judgement.

Yes, that Matrix Approach, or one like it would work. Once again, the Birther Think Tank, Scientific Birtherism and its use of the KISS Matrix to analyze the Birther Question is validated!!! But for sake of bad dreams, should anyone utilize the Matrix Approach for trying to figure out Weiner’s reluctance to resolve this quickly, pick another name besides the Weiner KISS Matrix.

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

BONUS: Two “Everything Old Is New Again YouTube Videos:

From: All That Jazz

From: Barenaked Ladies


NOTE: For the Caption on the above picture, (plus don’t forget to mouse over it, too!) WIKI says there was a old timey TV commercial by a comedian Bill Saluga,  whose shtick  as Ray J. Johnson is to become annoyed when addressed as “Mr. Johnson”, exclaiming in a loud voice, “My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr. Now you can call me Ray, or you can call me J, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Junie, or you can call me Junior; now you can call me Ray J, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me RJJ, or you can call me RJJ Jr.” ultimately ending with, “but you doesn’t hasta call me Johnson!”

The spiel got more widespread attention in the late 70s in a series of commercials for Anheuser-Busch Natural Light Beer. Saluga appeared alongside comedian/pitchman Norm Crosby echoing (in a roundabout way) Norm’s advice to unknowing customers: “Well, y’doesn’t hasta call it Anheuser Busch Natural Light Beer, and y’doesn’t hasta call it “Busch Natural”. Just say “Natural”!” This before launching into the “You can call me Ray” tirade at the mere mention of the word “name”.


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

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