Well Leo Donofrio, aka the Parakeet, I mean the Paraclete as he calls himself, is flogging the Justiagate non-issue for all it is worth. Or actually, for all it isn’t worth. According to the Paraclete, (Which is not a pair of athletic shoes as I first thought.) Justia, the online legal research website, scrubbed and scrambled the links to the 1875 Minor v. Happersett case in an attempt to keep voters from finding out that a natural born citizen required two citizen parents. This is nothing but a wild goose chase of the highest order.
While Donofrio and crew are whooping it up about the scrubbing, and displaying the nail wounds in their hands and feet to all who will listen, the simple truth is that the Minor v. Happersett case NEVER defined natural born citizenship. In fact, the judges in that case openly stated there was no need to resolve that issue. Sooo, there would be no need to scrub this case, and Justiagate is just “much ado about nothing.” But, that is why the two citizen parent Birthers are throwing fits about some minor programming glitches . . . to draw attention away from the fact that their case is toothless. They send people on a wild goose chase, so that nobody will notice their case is a legal turkey and can’t get far off the ground.
Sooo, as an alternative method to address this Mother of All Wild Goose Chases, I have written a Mother Goose poem!
The Wild Mother Goose Chase
by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter
aka Little Miss Scuffit
Hey Diddle, Diddle
Did Justia fiddle
The Minor v. Happersett links?
Wild goose in the corn-
Did they rule “natural born?”
(Or just leave it open, methinks?)
Sooo, Little Miss Scuffet
Sat on her tuffet
Perusing the web for the case.
Aha!, hear her shouts,
They clearly said “doubts.
The Birthers have egg on their face!
Rub a dub dub
Alleging a scrub
The Paraclete’s charges fall flat.
For, “Aye, there’s the rub!”
The case was a flub,
The judges, they never ruled that.
Rub a drub drub
She sank that old tub,
The Birthers should not have set sail.
Adrift on the sea
As wet as can be,
Their journey was an Epic Fail!
Tee Hee! Tee Hee!
aka Little Miss Scuffit
Note 1: Here are the seven simple sentences from Minor v. Happersett which cause so much confusion to the two citizen parent Birthers:
The Constitution does not, in words, say who shall be natural-born citizens. Resort must be had elsewhere to ascertain that. At common-law, with the nomenclature of which the framers of the Constitution were familiar, it was never doubted that all children born in a country of parents who were its citizens became themselves, upon their birth, citizens also. These were natives, or natural-born citizens, as distinguished from aliens or foreigners. Some authorities go further and include as citizens children born within the jurisdiction without reference to the citizenship of their parents. As to this class there have been doubts, but never as to the first. For the purposes of this case it is not necessary to solve these doubts.
Note 2: Credits for the Artwork:
The Fiddling Cat Image can be found here, by Marty at Deviant Art:
The Little Miss Muffet Image can be found here, by Al Rio at comic vine:
Note 3: The Little Rascals movie poster is very appropriate for the two-citizen parent Birthers. Wiki says that by 1840, the rhyme had become:
Rub a dub dub,
Three men in a tub,
And who do you think they be?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick maker.
Turn them out, knaves all three.
Note 4: The Mother of All. . .The free dictionary says the idiom, “the mother of all something” means “an extreme example of something.”
Note 5: Little Miss Scuffett. An alternative meaning of “scuff” is to brush off; wipe off; or kick.