I Shall be Paroled (A Parody Song)

The Count of Monte Trois Cartes Dictates Another Indignant Letter To The Editor

I have been reading about another ex-Navy person named Walter Fitzpatrick who is sitting in jail in Tennessee. Sharon Rondeau at The Post and Email has been writing about him.  The conditions do not sound very good.  His food sucks, being mostly lard, there are big rats in the jail, and his commode has to be flushed from outside of the cell.   Which means it probably doesn’t get flushed a lot. And why is he there going through all this suffering???

Well, it seems that he went off the deep end on the two citizen-parent Birther stuff and tried to do a citizen’s arrest of a Grand Jury foreman who would not take a fake indictment against Obama.  Something like that.  He got arrested for disorderly conduct and inciting a riot. There is a video in the notes below. Anyway, I guess the judge felt sorry for him, maybe because he saw Fitzpatrick as a goofy old fart.  After he was convicted, the judge gave him a chance to skip jail, but Walter Fitzpatrick refused to behave himself,  sooo off to the hoosegow he went. He is supposed to get out December 3, 2011 if he continues to be good.

This is just another case where the two citizen-parent foolishness drives people crazy. I think it has something to do with living in legal Fantasy Land  and then it slowly slops over  to Fantasy Land in real life. Oh, and for what it is worth, the Grand Jury Foreman was NOT breaking any law.

Anyway, here is a parody song about him:

I Shall Be Paroled (A Parody Song)
By Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter
To The Tune of Bob Dylan’s “I Shall be Released

They say everybody hates this place.
And I’m not meaning Tennessee.
It’s like a dungeon here, with rats!
Oh, how could they do this to ME???

I never dreamed I’d be here,
When I took my courthouse stroll.
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be paroled.

They say every man needs nutrition.
They say a man is what he eats.
They’ve been feeding me baloney,
And other kinds of Mystery Meats.

I hear Rondeau’s reporting,
While I’m stuck here in the hole.
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be paroled

I get time off for “Good Behavior”
So I’ve been trying not to rave.
I super-glued my lips together
Oh, why can’t I behave???*

I can not flush my toilet.
Incarceration takes it toll.
Any day now, any day now
I shall be paroled.

* This line only to the tune from Kiss Me Kate, Why Can’t You Behave?.

Sooo, we will be watching to see if he gets out in time for Christmas or if he relapses. It is sad in a way to see somebody go to jail over a false and ludicrous legal interpretation. But Fitzpatrick was an officer in the navy.  He is not illiterate.  He made his cot and he needs to sleep in it.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: Here is a video of Fitzpatrick’s Attempted Citizen’s Arrest and the Cops’ Successful One of Fitzpatrick:

Note 2: Count of Monte Trois Cartes. Well this is a wordplay on Three Card Monte.: Wiki says:

In its full form, Three-card Monte is an example of a classic short con in which a shill pretends to conspire with the mark to cheat the dealer, while in fact conspiring with the dealer to cheat the mark.
This confidence trick was already in use by the turn of the 15th century, having a great deal in common with the shell game; they are the same except that cards are used instead of “shells”.

I think this fits Fitzpatrick. Like the mark, he was planning on frog-marching the dealer (Obama) to jail and ends up there, himself. The image is from The Count of Monte Cristo movie.

Note 3:  Here is the real song, with guitar chords:

I Shall Be Released

They say ev’rything can be replaced
Yet ev’ry distance is not near
So I remember ev’ry face
Of ev’ry man who put me here
I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released

They say ev’ry man needs protection
They say ev’ry man must fall
Yet I swear I see my reflection
Some place so high above this wall
I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released

Standing next to me in this lonely crowd
Is a man who swears he’s not to blame
All day long I hear him shout so loud
Crying out that he was framed
I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released

Here are the EASY chords to do it:

C  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Dm
They say every man needs protection
Em – – — – – – – – Dm – – – – – – C
They say every distance is not near
C – – – – – – – – – – – – – Dm
But I remember every face
Em –  – – -Dm – – – – – – – – C
Of every man who put me here

C – – – – – – – – – – – -Dm
I see my light come shinin’
Em – – – – Dm  – – – – – – – C
From the west down to the east
C- – – – – – – – Dm
Any day now, any day now
Em – Dm – C
I shall be released

And here is some harder ones to use, but very pretty. I am working on them:

Note 4:  Why Can’t You Behave? In case you don’t know the tune, here is a great video of it:

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About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

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