The Apuzzo Brief – Paper to Raise Whelps With

Poor Boomer Was Confuzzled. This Paper Already Had A Bad Smell To It.

OH, did I ever call this one or not!!! Last night I predicted in the  On Viewing Apuzzo As A Court Jester Internet Article, that Mario “The Mangler” Apuzzo, Esq. would litter the court with paper. Well, LO AND BEHOLD, he is in the case like one day and here it is. The Mario Apuzzo 200 Page Eligibility Brief:

Apuzzo’s Not-So-Brief Brief

It can be found here, if you want a fresh copy, or to check for other documents:

I was originally going to use this picture as the image, with the same title, Paper To Raise Whelps With, but I decided to keep it clean. Plus, there word issues as described in Note 1, below:

After You Read Each Page, You Will Say, "Thank You Mistress! One More Please!!!"

Sooo, I am going to start telling myself that this isn’t going to hurt, and Apuzzo is a Court Jester, . . . page 1. . .


Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Whelps. This word is usually used to mean

whelp (hwelp, welp)
1. A young offspring of a mammal, such as a dog or wolf.
a. A child; a youth.
b. An impudent young fellow.
a. A tooth of a sprocket wheel.
b. Nautical Any of the ridges on the barrel of a windlass or capstan.

But I have also heard the word whelp used to mean the red marks that get raised after a switching, or after some kind of skin abrasion. The “h” was usually silent, and it was definitely a “p” and not a “t” sound as in welts. I looked the word up in this context, but can not find it anywhere except a few places in an anecdotal sense, such as the red whelps from bug bites. I distinctly remember my Grandmother saying “Squeeky, you better straighten up and quit being so mean or I am going to take a switch and raise whelps all over them little legs of yours!!!”

Perhaps it is just a Texas colloquialism??? I called my Mother to double check and she said that she often heard the word too, and not just from family members.  There may also be a nautical root for the word, since it refers to ridges, as can be seen in the picture on page 3 here:

You will just have to trust me on this one.

Note 2. Idiom, Going to the dogs. In the Easter Egg for the Image above. It means:

go to the dogs

to become worse in quality or character go to hell (in a handbasket) He was a marvelous actor, but his drinking problems caused his career to go to the dogs. It is sad to report that this once first-class hotel has gone to the dogs.


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 34. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

4 responses to “The Apuzzo Brief – Paper to Raise Whelps With

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