O Happy Day!!! My confidential Birther source smuggled out this latest addition to The Birther Bible. He/she/it tells me that the Birthers are afraid that Sheriff Joe Arpaio is going to let them down, and that things will go badly in Pennsylvania in the Kerchner Laudenslager case. We shall see. Here is the rest of The Birther Bible:
The Book of Lamentations
1. This is the Song of our Lamentation, and the sound thereof.
2. Lo, though we goeth forth into battle against the Anti-Vattelites with songs of victory, always doth it seem we are sent packing.
3. Yea, though we goeth forth roaring like lions, we doth return like small cats which meweth for milk in tiny voices.
4. Our heads are anointed with Cold Waters, and bitter rains doth drench our parade.
5. Gloom, Despair, and Agony, doth seem to be our constant house guests, which leaveth not, and yet payeth no rent, nor buyeth any food and drink.
6. Prithee, why shouldst this day be any different?
7. Though we rise with hope at Dawn, shall not Dusk only prosper those which wenteth long in the purchase of sackcloth?
8. Our ears doth ache from the sound of our own wailing, and our teeth are but nubs from the gnashing thereof.
9. So covered are we in ashes, that our own mothers recognizeth us not.
10. Truly it is said that we canst not win for losing.
1. Yet of all these miseries whereof I speak, none are so great or hard to bear as the glad songs of the Anti-Vattelites, who doth always seem to caper and gambol in merriment.
2. Verily, it doth seem the deeper our despair, the greater is their happiness.
3. And the louder the sound of our Lamentations, the more they doth laugh and sport at our expense.
4. For late in the Darkness do I often lurketh at their encampments, with a purpose to spy upon them from concealment.
5. Wherefore I can speak of these things from a truth, and with knowledge.
6. And when one doth confront the Anti-Vattelites, concerning the outcome of some battle, this is the manner of their speech;
7. And they sayeth with false kindness, “Why didst Thou not listen unto us?” and, “Didst we not tell Thee it wouldst be so?”
8. Verily, there is a great pain in these words, for in truth the Anti-Vattelites careth not for our suffering, but doth take great pleasure therein.
9. And of a truth, they didst indeed say these things unto us before the happening thereof, and we listened not, which maketh us to rub salt into our own wounds.
10. Also doth they tell of villages and those of addled wits therein, and inquire if our village doth seek us, thinking us lost.
11. Canst any Song of Lamentation hold tears enow, when one’s enemies art rolling upon the floor in laughter?