Br’er Kuhner Says “Take My Scoop – Please!!!”

Br'er Kuhner And Burke Would Gladly Give You A Scoop Today, For A Cheeseburger on Tuesday

Well, talk about Saints. I think I have discovered one who has not yet been canonized. His name is Jeffrey Kuhner, and he works for the Washington Times. And talk about a Good Samaritan!!! Well this fellow, who is sitting right on top of The Biggest Scandal In American History, is begging other reporters and newspapers to get in front of him on this story!!!

Can you believe that??? And he has company. Sister Diane West and Sister Dianna Cotter and Br’er Corsi and Mistah Farah, and others are all of them are laying about and moaning to the high heavens about reporters NOT trying to beat them to the story. Move over Mother Teresa, because Planet Earth has never seen charity like this before.

Which is making me kind of suspicious. Why would real reporters do this??? Did Woodward and Bernstein castigate the rest of the press for not beating a path to Deep Throat’s door??? Oh hell no!!! In fact, they kept it secret and got a Pulitizer Prize and fame and a movie deal.  And their chicks for free.

Listen to Kuhner in this youtube video, around the 10:20 minute mark  where he says that he would love to be the reporter who broke this story and that person would be bigger than Woodward and Bernstein and immortalized in movies and books:

And Kuhner is griping out of Christian Charity??? Fat chance. Me is beginning to thinks Kuhner and this whole bunch doth protest too much. And go figure World Net Daily. Here they are with a direct pipeline straight into the Cold Case Posse, and they are complaining that other news organizations are ignoring Sheriff Joe???  Common sense dictates they should be dancing in the streets. They have a lock on The Great Mother of All American Scandals.

Could it be that all these clowns  already know this whole Sheriff Joe-Cold Case Posse thing is nothing but a big farce, and they are simply trying to send the rest of the press off on a snipe hunt??? And at the same time, chunk some more dirt on Obama???

That scenario makes a lot more sense to me. Sooo, when you read Kuhner, WestCotterCorsi, Farah and all the others complaining about a media blackout,  and begging the press to “Take my story” – just remember Br’er Rabbit and  the Briar Patch. Or, an old comedian named Henry “Henny” Youngman, who’s most famous one-liner was:

“Take my wife—please.”

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 2010 film, Burke and Hare, about a famous pair of early 19th century grave-robbing killers. This image fits the bill, because Kuhner  is the President of the Edmund Burke Institute.  And, well Br’er Rabbit was a hare, and they’re scooping out dirt, and rabbits bring Easter Eggs, and the grave robbing Burke was named William,   and oh well . . . it’s complicated.

Note 2. The Image Caption: Br’er Kuhner And Burke Would Gladly Give You A Scoop Today, For A Cheeseburger on Tuesday.  This is a reference to J. Wellingington Wimpy from the Popeye cartoons. Wiki says:

Wimpy is Popeye’s friend. In the cartoons he mainly plays the role of the “straight man” to Popeye’s outbursts and wild antics. Wimpy is soft-spoken, very intelligent, and well educated, but also cowardly, very lazy, overly parsimonious and utterly gluttonous. He is also something of a scam artist and, especially in the newspaper strip, can be notoriously underhanded at times.

Hamburgers are Wimpy’s all-time favorite dish, and he is usually seen carrying or eating one or more at a time – e.g. in Popeye the Sailor Meets Sindbad the Sailor he is seen grinding meat or eating burgers almost the entire time – however, he is usually too cheap to pay for them himself. A recurring joke involves Wimpy’s attempts to con other patrons of the diner into buying his meal for him. His best-known catchphrase started in 1931 as “Cook me up a hamburger. I’ll pay you Thursday.” In 1932, this then became the famous “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today”. This phrase is now commonly used to illustrate fiscal irresponsibility and still appears in modern comedies such as The Drew Carey Show and The Office.

Kuhner, and the other press-type Birthers are pulling an underhanded scam with their “Media Blackout” stories, attempting to con somebody else into doing a bunch of work on a dead-end story,  all while supposedly unconcerned with any credit or reward  for pointing them in that direction.


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 34. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

2 responses to “Br’er Kuhner Says “Take My Scoop – Please!!!”

  • Monkey Boy

    Nothing of import to say here, Squeeky; I just decided to “break the cherry” of this posting.

    I absolutely loved the “Miki Mouth” sobriquet you bequeathed to “Da mad Hay-whayan” so much so I decided to to make Minnie my avatar.

    So, I went to wordpress to register, and don’t you know some screenhandle-squatter had already registered it. So, I registered as chitaboy, but I don’t think I’ll use it; it just doesn’t have the same panache.

  • Birther Olympics Update No.1 (Synchronized Spinning) « The Birther Think Tank

    […] Jeffrey Kuhner: […]

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