Legal Eagle Plucks Silly Goose!!! (Or, Honk If You Think J.B. Williams Is An Idiot)

“Here’s Your Anser!!!”, Said The Eagle

Well first,  Sen. Fred Thompson put out a simple little piece legally analyzing how Marco Rubio is a natural born citizen. Thompson is a former senator, a lawyer, a graduate of Vanderbilt School Of Law, and an actor who played an attorney on numerous TV shows and movies. Here is a link to Thompson’s cogent and well-reasoned Internet Article:

Naturlich, the Birthers went all apepoop and started flinging pieces of themselves all over the place.  One of the flingers is a guy by the name of J.B. Williams, who graduated high school and stayed one night at a Holiday Inn.  After reading Thompson’s piece,  Williams  published his little response  and it got picked up by (who else???) World Net Daily. Here is a short excerpt:


By J.B. Williams
August 2, 2012

Well, with the laundry list of political legal eagles lining up to claim that anchor babies like Marco Rubio are Natural Born Citizens too, one must assume that the RNC intends to place an anchor baby on the ballot with Romney and they are prepared to burn the Constitution to do it. Apparently, they are prepared to lose in November too….

In the latest RNC effort to redefine Natural Born Citizen, clearing Rubio for the GOP ticket, once respected Tennessee Senator Fred Thompson enters the fray. Thompson wastes no time regurgitating the same lies that have protected Barack Obama from “birthers” concerned with Obama’s real birth place for four years now.

In simple terms, a Natural Born Citizen of the United States is a child who inherits maximum citizenship rights from their citizen parents at birth, including the rights reserved for only Natural Born Citizens, like holding the office of President or Vice President. Obviously, if someone received citizenship via 14th Amendment immigration and naturalization statutes, they cannot possibly be a Natural Born Citizen.

Now, either legal eagles like Fred Thompson know this and choose to lie, or they don’t know it, in which case they are legal beagles rather than legal eagles. You decide…. But know this….

The rest of J. B. Williams’ idiocy can be found here:

Now to give Williams his due, he does at least try to frame his response in a logical form. He takes a statement by Thompson, and then tries to counter it. This is actually quite rare in the Birther world. Their usual course of action is to make some absurd statement. Then somebody with brains points out how stupid and screwed up their statement is, along with the appropriate legal cites and logic. Then, the Birther ignores what was said, and repeats the absurd statement in a louder voice with BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS as needed.  The more energetic Birthers also add a little name calling and a logical fallacy or two to the mix. Rinse, and repeat several times. That’s the usual pas de deux.

But before Williams gets to feeling too full of himself, lets look at one of his analyses. I mean, we ain’t talking 5 year old little kid’s soccer here, where everybody gets a trophy for participating. You kinda have to do something besides just wet your pants and wander around the field in confusion:

[Sen. Fred Thompson] 1. “First, this is a legal question. Therefore, the test with regard to a question such as this is, “What would the Supreme Court likely hold if the question were presented to it?”

[Idiot J.B. Williams] FALSE – It is not a legal question for judicial usurpers to dictate definition upon their political agendas. It is a Constitutional question. The American people, NOT the Supreme Court, are the final arbiters of what is or is not constitutional. Nobody above a 3rd grade reading level needs a lawyer to explain the true meaning of three simple words, Natural Born Citizen.

Hmmm. His approach does have a certain efficiency to it. If a person doesn’t have to worry about all those troubling things like court cases, and judges, and the Constitution . . . well then a fellow can just dang near say the law is anything they want it to be and skip straight to seeing who has the most pitchforks and rope. Here’s another of J.B. Williams moronic ramblings:

[Sen. Fred Thompson] 4. [] – Thompson goes on to use 14th Amendment “naturalization” cases to define Natural Born Citizen, when in fact, the 14th mentions nothing at all about Natural Born Citizens, clearly a special type of citizen in the minds of our Founders, or Article II requirements for high office. In short, Thompson takes the lawyers only road to redefining Natural Born Citizen as nothing more than 14th Naturalized Citizen, or “anchor babies.” It is an outright lie!

[Idiot J.B. Williams] [FALSE] [Keep in mind that “anchor babies” and the 14th Amendment did not exist at the passage of the Constitution. That the Founders had to exclude themselves from the Natural Born Citizen requirement in order to hold office, as none of our Founders were Natural Born Citizens even though most of them had been born on what would later become known as U.S. soil.

Sure, the 14th Amendment was passed in 1868 after the Constitution was ratified. Nice find there, J.B. And it just so happens that in 1898, the U.S. Supreme Court decided this little case called Wong Kim Ark, and the judges said that the 14th Amendment simply affirmed natural born citizen  law and people who were born here, even the Heathen Chinese, were natural born citizens as long as their parents weren’t foreign diplomats or invading soldiers.

Oops! I forgot! Silly me! J.B. Williams wears day-of-the-week panties, a dress, and acts like a little girl. If he doesn’t like a law, or what judges constitutionally determine the law to be, he can simply throw his widdle tantrum, hold his widdle breath until hims face turns blue, and cry like a big tittie baby. To him, none of those laws and legal case stuff matters.

No wonder he doesn’t like lawyers and law. They interfere with his spoiled brat routine.  Yeah, so the rest of us should get rid of all that pesky law and lawyer stuff, too – and then everybody else who wants to play lawyer, like him, can  get a trophy!!! Even if they haven’t got enough brains to pour in a cup.

You really ought to go to the link and read the full article. Read it slowly and digest the philosophical and logical impact. What Williams is advocating is Lord of the Flies type law and moral code. The law is what the mob says it is. Maybe Williams and his kind need to grab themselves some animal skins and clubs and head off for a jungle somewhere.  Stick some bones in their noses. Chuck a few spears.  Boil a few missionaries in a pot. Golding said it well:

The world, that understandable and lawful world, was slipping away.”
– William Golding, Lord of the Flies, Ch. 5

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Anser. No, I didn’t mis-spell anser in the above image. Which image is by John James Audubon. Anser is the scientific genus name for all grey geese and some white geese.  Canadian geese belong to a different Branta genus, but a Bald Eagle can be forgiven for not knowing the difference, particularly in the service of a good pun.

Note 2. The Image Easter Egg.  Word play based on the National Anthem of Thailand, O Wa Ta Goo Siam.


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

One response to “Legal Eagle Plucks Silly Goose!!! (Or, Honk If You Think J.B. Williams Is An Idiot)

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