Gordon of Khartoon Falls!!!

In Contrast, The Court Left Gordon No Wiggle Room Whatsover

Well, Gordon “The Sage of Swampy Acres” Epperly got the judicial heave-ho up in Alaska. We have written about Gordon before and his foolish Birther/Sovereign Citizenish antics. Links to those Internet Articles are in the notes below. Anyway, Gordon filed another one of silly cartoonish lawsuits, which got removed to Federal Court. That Court, own its own motion, threw the garbage out. Allegedly, even hungry Polar Bears are avoiding it for the odor.

In the suit, Gordon alleged that blacks and women could hold not certain offices for constitutional reasons:

The year 2010 national elections for the government of the United States have come and gone with several Woman [sic], and other individuals who are not white Citizens, having been elected or appointed into the Offices of the Congress, President, Judicial Courts, and several Executive Offices of the government for the United States of America. All these individuals are “Usurpers of Office” for they have no “Political Privileges” (Rights) under any provision of the United States Constitution to hold a Pubic Office for the United States government under the qualification Clauses of Article I, Article II, and Article III of the United States Construction.

The question presented, since the [purported] adoption of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, does a Woman or any none [sic] white citizen have “Political Privileges” to be elected into or appointed into Pubic Offices of the government for the United States of America?3.

Well, it was a short and sweet little five page Order. Somebody named Jack Ryan at the Fogbow put the order on scribd, so this is a big Thank You! to him and them for putting this stuff on line.  Here is another excerpt:

Frivolous Claims

“[A] complaint . . . is frivolous where it lacks an arguable basis either in law or in fact.” “Factual frivolousness includes allegations that are clearly baseless, fanciful, fantastic, or delusional.” Moreover, “a complaint must contain sufficient factual matter, accepted as true, to ‘state a claim to relief that is plausible on its face.’“11 In conducting a review of the pleadings of a self-represented plaintiff, the court is mindful that it must liberally construe the pleadings and give the plaintiff the benefit of the doubt.  Before the court may dismiss Mr. Epperly’s case, the court must provide him with a statement of the deficiencies in the complaint and an opportunity to amend, unless it is clear that amendment would be futile. In this case, amendment would be futile. Mr. Epperly’s claims are implausible and frivolous.

This court will, therefore, dismiss this case.

Therefore, IT IS HEREBY ORDERED [DISMISSED with prejudice;]

Here is a link to the scribd page. It is short and well worth the read, to get all the nuances:


And here is a pdf in case you have problems getting scribd to run right:

Gordon Order

Sooo, Gordon of Khartoon must now mush off back to Swampy Acres. Pubic offices are safe for the time being. Six months of Night are coming soon, and Gordon will no doubt sit in the long winter night typing up some more nonsense to file come Spring.  If not sooner.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1966 movie, Gordon of Khartoum, starring Charlton Heston. I found it at this fascinating website!


As far as me shamelessly stealing the “navel gazing” line for the Image Easter Egg, uh, uh, I am sure I would have thought of it eventually. Maybe.  Right? You believe me, don’t you? Oh. . . OK, I stole it.

Note 2. Navel Gazing. Aka omphaloskepsis: literally, the contemplation of one’s navel, which is an idiom usually meaning complacent self-absorption or excessive focus on oneself; introspection.

Note 3. Gordon of Khartoum: Wiki says:

Major-General Charles George Gordon, CB (28 January 1833 – 26 January 1885), also known as Chinese Gordon, Gordon Pasha, and Gordon of Khartoum, was a British army officer and administrator.

He saw action in the Crimean War as an officer in the British army, but he made his military reputation in China, where he was placed in command of the “Ever Victorious Army”, a force of Chinese soldiers led by European officers. In the early 1860s, Gordon and his men were instrumental in putting down the Taiping Rebellion, regularly defeating much larger forces. For these accomplishments, he was given the nickname “Chinese” Gordon and honours from both the Emperor of China and the British.

He entered the service of the Khedive in 1873 (with British government approval) and later became the Governor-General of the Sudan, where he did much to suppress revolts and the slave trade. Exhausted, he resigned and returned to Europe in 1880.

Then a serious revolt broke out in the Sudan, led by a Muslim reformer and self-proclaimed Mahdi, Muhammad Ahmad. Gordon was sent to Khartoum with instructions to secure the evacuation of loyal soldiers and civilians, and depart with them. After evacuating about 2,500 British civilians he retained a smaller group of soldiers and non-military men. As an ardent Christian evangelist he was determined to stand up to the Mahdi, his Muslim nemesis. In the build up to battle the two leaders corresponded attempting to convert the other to their respective faiths, but neither would comply. Besieged by the Mahdi’s forces, Gordon organized a city-wide defence lasting almost a year that gained him the admiration of the British public, though not the government, which had not wished to become involved (as Gordon had known before setting out). Only when public pressure to act had become too great was a relief force reluctantly sent. It arrived two days after the city had fallen and Gordon had been beheaded.

Note 4. Gordon of Khartoon:  Gordon of Khartoon, on the other hand, has not done much but be a public nuisance.  While there are no reports of decapitation, he apparently makes little use of his head.  He has earned two Internet Articles here:





About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 34. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

7 responses to “Gordon of Khartoon Falls!!!

  • RoadScholar

    “Navel-gazing,” before aquiring unflattering connotations, referred to the posture of Buddhist meditation, which is done with eyes open and without blinking. Looking down at an angle that seems like gazing at one’s navel keeps the eyes lubricated enough to allow this.

    I sat zazen regularly when I was your age.

  • Lena

    You vile attempt to ridiculing a pro se plaintiff in the bundogs of frozen Alyeska, and equating his suit with other actions of eligibility Attorneys, is pityful and dishonest.

    He clearly did not no enough to plead Obamas lack of eligibility due to his not having two citizen parents at birth. That issue has never been tested on the merits. Corrupt, paid off Judges have instead dimissed suits on technicalitys.

    Moreover, the pro se plaintiff failed to present the explosive evidence brought forth by Dr. Orly Taitz, esq. concerning Obama’s stolen SS #. Obama shot himself in the back by publishing his purported tax returns which featured that stolen number. This is his confession that he use that stolen number.

    Remaining still is the issue of Obamas forged draft registration card that communist and Nazi operators planted in files to make Bush seem to say that card is good. Lt. Quarles Harris bravely gave own life to try to expose treachery. Treacherous golem Obama failed to allow military funeral for this Hero.

    Inept pro se plaintiff also failed present overwhelming evidence of Obama forging all birth documents. OBAMA IS LABARTORY MADE BEAST, he cannot have legitimate birth documents.

    Honest Judge in Indiana finally allow trial on merit and order discovery to expose treachery in Hawaii.

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

      Hi Lena!!!

      I think Gordon of Khartoon lost for the same reason all the Birther Lawyers lose. They just don’t have a case. I mean, even if you have a few crooked judges here and there, it would be very unlikely that Birthers are the ones who keep stumbling across them.

      Sometimes you just have to face facts. Birthers are losing because their cases stink. No basis in law of facts. Simple as that.

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

    • Slartibartfast


      Your ignorance really knows no bounds, does it? Leiutenant (note misspelling) Quarles Harris was involved in an identity theft ring which most likely got him killed. He has nothing to do with President Obama nor did he ever serve in the military at any rank. Enjoy your so-called “honest judge”—I’m sure you will change your tune when you case gets thrown out or, even better, decided on the merits. You do know that there is binding precedent in Indiana that President Obama is a natural born citizen, right? (The Ankeny decision)

  • Yulia

    Idiot obot, who is braindead also, do not know difference between silly lawsuit brought by prose person, and expert indictment prepared by proper attorney like Dr. Orly Taitz, esq or expert Mario Puzo.

    Obots very stupid. Never learn.

  • Monkey Boy

    Oh, where is Twinky_Ike??? I thought that he would be making regular appearances on these threads since his bud, ex animal, was laughed off the board.

    I grant that Twinky does not come across as ignorant as ex-animal, but appears to be just as stupid.

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