The British Hysterical Society Presents Lord Monckton (Or, A Flashman In The Pan???)

I learned that he was in the diplomatic, which didn’t surprise me, for he was a born toad-eater with a great gift of genteel sponging and an aversion to work.

Well, I have run across Lord Monckton before, and he seems a little too interested in the whole Birther issue, if you know what I mean. He is definitely educated, and speaks well.  He is fun to listen to and presents himself in a dignified manner. But I have to wonder what in the world a person like that is doing being a birth certificate Birther??? I mean, it’s like finding a chimpanzee in a tuxedo, and you just get this feeling that something’s not right.

Now, I am not going not make the same mistake as Wayne Allyn Root and CDR Kerchner, and try to tell you that my gut instincts and hunches are the same thing as documentation. Because they aren’t.  But I get the same feeling I got when I used to see this commercial:

The music is nice, the soldiers are all in step, and the narrator is polished. But you know if you give “nineteen dollars ninety” for this ring, you’re probably getting screwed. (See the notes below for a very funny youtube video about this offer, and a hilarious New York Post article about the company, which started off as the British Historical Society, but sort of had to reinvent itself a few times.)

Anyway, back on topic, Lord Monckton of Brenchley  is in the headlines again over at ObamaReleaseYourRecords, via World Net Daily, with this:

Exclusive: Christopher Monckton of Brenchley calls GOP treasonous for eligibility inaction

and promoting this sort of foolishness:

It is 24 pages long, and here is a pdf file of it, in case you have problems with scribd at the site. (I think they can only process one of these per household, so behave yourself accordingly.)

Moncktons A Hereditary Peers Briefing Paper (LONDON JUNE 2012)

The document is put together in a very professional manner, and contains text, images and exhibits. It is very readable. However, when you wring out the mop, all you get is the same dirty water that Deputy Jerry Corsi and the Cold Case Posse emptied out on us. I do love the shtick on page 17, Implications For Her Majesty’s Government, where Obama’s hostility is evidenced by his removal of Churchill’s Bust.

That whole section is put in to elevate the Birther madness to a level of seriousness where some court may look at it. I expect to see this document introduced as evidence or as an exhibit to future Birther legal ventures. I would not be surprised to see Requests for a New Hearing start cropping up from the Birther Hinterland, with this as support.

While I absolutely adore the grace and elegance of this particular document, it is still nothing but a bunch of nonsense. This time with an English theme, as opposed to The Cowboy and Indian aura of Sheriff Joe’s horse opera. But all the fancy airs and lah de dahs of Royalty and Peers and Her Majesty and Oxley of Sarbanes and Monckton of Brenchley is going to sell like hotcakes out there among the Birthers and others who would pay the “nineteen dollars ninety” for the ring, if they only had the dough.

Ta Ta.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Youtube video. Here is avery funny video on the ring commercial. Pay attention to the seal. Put down any liquids you are holding, unless you hate your keyboard.

Note 2: The New York Post Article. This is a scream, and you have to read the whole thing! Here are a few excerpts, and the link follows:

It’s hard to tell what’s the bigger fake — the $20 Princess Diana ring or the company hawking it.

This week, customer-service reps enthusiastically pushed Telebrands’ bogus royal organization while taking advance orders for its simulated sapphire and cubic-zirconium ring.

Asked to describe the purpose of the British Historic/Historical Society, a Telebrands rep who identified herself as Sophie put a Post reporter on hold “to verify that information before releasing it to you.” Returning to the phone after several minutes, she said, “The society was founded in 1868 and remains the foremost society in Great Britain promoting and defending the scholarly study of the past.” [Squeeky Note: Oh, great shades of the Birthers. . .]

Told that she’d just described the Royal Historical Society, a legit, London-based organization, and not the so-called British Historical Society, Sophie said, “It’s the same thing.”

“So the Royal Historical Society is endorsing and selling me this ring?”

“Yes,” Sophie said.

New York Post Fake Royal Organization Article

Note 3.  The Alternate Title.  A Flashman in the Pan. Well,  the full Flashman reference follows, but think here, a scoundrel.  Meanwhile, the idiom itself means:

1 a sudden spasmodic effort that accomplishes nothing;

2. one that appears promising but turns out to be disappointing or worthless.

Note 4. Flashman. Oh, where do I begin? My father was really big into this series of books. I remember him sitting in his recliner and LHAO as he read these. Anyway, Wiki says:

Flashman is a 1969 novel by George MacDonald Fraser. It is the first of the Flashman novels.

Presented within the frame of the supposedly discovered historical Flashman Papers, this book describes the bully Flashman from Tom Brown’s Schooldays. The book begins with an explanatory note saying that the Flashman Papers were discovered in 1965 during a sale of household furniture in Ashby, Leicestershire. The papers are attributed to Harry Paget Flashman, who is not only the bully featured in Thomas Hughes’ novel, but also a well known Victorian military hero (in Fraser’s fictional England). The papers were supposedly written between 1900 and 1905.

The subsequent publishing of these papers, of which Flashman is the first, contrasts the previously believed exploits of a (fictional) hero with his own more scandalous account, which shows the life of a cowardly bully. Flashman begins with his own account of expulsion from Rugby and ends with his fame as the “Hector of Afghanistan”, detailing his life from 1839 to 1842 and his travels to Scotland, India, and Afghanistan. It also contains a number of notes by the author, in the guise of a fictional editor, giving additional historical information on the events described. The history in these books is quite accurate; most of the people Flashman meets are real people.

Flashman’s expulsion from Rugby for drunkenness leads him to join the Army for what he hopes will be a sinecure. He joins the11th Regiment of Light Dragoons commanded by Lord Cardigan whom he toadies in his best style. After an affair with a fellow officer’s lover, he is forced to fight a duel but wins after promising a large sum of money to the pistol loader to give his opponent a blank load in his gun. He does not kill his opponent but instead delopes and accidentally shoots the top off a bottle thirty yards away, an action that gives him instant fame and the respect of the Duke of Wellington.

However, once it was found out what they were fighting over, Flashman is stationed in Scotland. He is quartered with the Morrison family, and soon enough he takes advantage of one of the daughters, Elspeth. After a forced marriage, Flashman is required to resign the Hussars due to marrying below his station. He is given another option, to make his reputation in India.

Note 5.  The Image Caption. This is a quotation from Flashman on the March, p.10, Harper Collins, paperback edition 2005. I found it here at this very addictive website, Flashman’s Retreat:

Note 6. The Image Easter Egg.  It’s All Balls And Banbury  The above website referenced this:

The town’s reputation for untruth underlies later sayings: the apparently proverbial phrase ‘Banbury glosses’ was used in 1530 and 1571 to mean twistings of the truth, (fn. 45) and may be the origin of later allusions to a tall story as ‘a Banbury story’; (fn. 46) another saying, recorded in 1660, may be related to the above but more likely originated in a specific incident: ‘as wise as the mayor of Banbury, who would prove that Henry III was before Henry II’; (fn. 47) a further obscure proverb, recorded in 1639, was ‘he has brought his hogs to a Banbury market’. (fn. 48)


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 34. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

18 responses to “The British Hysterical Society Presents Lord Monckton (Or, A Flashman In The Pan???)

  • Thomas Brown

    I’ve met many educated and refined Brits, and spent a lot of time with the English language… and I have occasionally come across usages and constructions in “Lord Monckton’s” writings that no proper Englishman would use.

    I think he’s a phony. Of course, it’s just a gut hunch.

    Which means it’s a rock-solid fact.

    • Ed Tucker

      Monckton’s aim is not to raise money, by the document you refer to. It may be freely copied and distributed. (No micro-payment required or expected).
      The theatrics are aimed at waking up Americans to the priviledge & peril of their situation. Monckton really believes the US Constitution is the best thing since sliced bread and only it can save the World from threatening tyrannys.
      In the complacency of current generations he sees the greatest danger to freedoms as they are taken for granted so they will be lost.
      He has a habit of championing apparently lost causes and turning them around. The appearance of buffoonery is not intentioned but does tend to put opponents off their guard. He does play up the theatrics a bit and quite unashamedly exploits his genuine Hereditary Peerage.

      He is a devastating debater with a laser sharp mind and training in politics, media, and the classics.

      Much of what you read about him seems Incredible. That which is written by others usually is.
      In his own words though, dismiss it at your peril:-

      • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

        Hi Ed Tucker!!!

        I read up on Monckton before I wrote this, and I agree with you that he is extremely intelligent, if a bit eccentric. Which just floors me all the more that he would take up this silly a$$ Birther nonsense.

        Squeeky Fromm
        Girl Reporter

        • Ed Cutler

          That was my impression too, on seeing him get interested in this. Oh No, not again.
          That’s just the sort of impossible challenge that appeals to him though and he possibly sees this as being on the critical path to saving the US Constitution, so worth a shot at any cost.
          If anyone can give it legs , he can. He’s worse than a dog with a bone.

  • hklrnaa47

    Monckton is a phoney, yes.

    From Wikipedia:
    “The House of Lords authorities have said Monckton is not and never has been a member and that there is no such thing as a non-voting or honorary member of the House.[6][24] In July 2011 the House took the “unprecedented step” of publishing online a cease and desist letter to Monckton from the Clerk of the Parliaments, which concluded, “I am publishing this letter on the parliamentary website so that anybody who wishes to check whether you are a Member of the House of Lords can view this official confirmation that you are not.”[25][26]”

    Current theory has it that he is the best character that Shasha Baron Cohen ever devised.

    A friend used to collect Flashman books. I never got around to reading any of them. Flashman was a racist, typical of the British of the day, and I got enough of that by reading Aleister Crowley’s auto-hagiography.

  • hklrnaa47

    Oh. And about the ring. I love that it comes with a certificate of authenticity for the simulated sapphire and diamonds and the sliver plate.

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

      Hi hklrn!!!

      Oh, I used to just ROTFLMAO when those stupid commercials came on. Yes, I want a Certificate that says I am Certifiable if I fall for this! Plus, I love the way the company changed its name a few times there.

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

  • G

    Lord Monckton explained:

  • Lena

    Even foreigners are now waking up. America is now the laughing stock of the world. At least, Europe. England for sure.

    Dr. Orly Taitz, esq. must be relieved to be vindicated by so August a person as respected British Peer. Also, many high ranking military persons of NATO work to unseat criminal fraud.

    Sqeky Frum, you are on wrong side and will go to FEMA camp prepared for patriots.

  • Slartibartfast

    Outstanding article, my lady.


    Lord Monckton would win the competition from the video you posted hands down.

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