OMG!!! Orly Taitz Starts “Dear Orly” Advice Column???

Dear Lumpy In Laguna Niguel . . . No wonder your head hurts. For goodness sakes, quit butting it up against brick walls.

OMG!!! Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. is trying to broaden her marketability by venturing into the Advice Column business. Right now, she is testing this idea out in a small Tennessee newspaper. I have not been able to find out the name of the paper, but I have gotten these copies from my secret Flying Monkey source. There are pdf’s of each of these in the notes below. Just click on the Images to enlarge.

No.1:

No. 2:

No. 3:

No.4:

No.5:

Like anything you get over the internet, there is always a question as to whether it is genuine or not. The legal advice sounds like Orly Taitz. There is a notable lack of spelling errors, but that could be due to the editor. I don’t know. I will just report, and let you decide.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is Dorothy Dix, the very first advice columnist. She started using the name, Dorothy Dix about 2 years before Wong Kim Ark. You can read about her here:

http://whatssospecialaboutneworleans.blogspot.com/2011/10/first-advice-columnist-was-new.html

Wiki also has a good entry on her:

Elizabeth Meriwether was born on the Woodstock plantation located on the borders of Montgomery County, Tennessee and Todd County, Kentucky. She graduated from Hollins Institute in 1882. Her journalism career began after a chance meeting with Eliza Nicholson, the owner of the New Orleans newspaper Daily Picayune in 1893.

She first used the pen name Dorothy Dix in 1896 for her column in the Picayune; Dorothy, because she liked the name, and Dix in honor of an old family slave named Mr. Dick who had saved the Meriwether family silver during the Civil War. Within months the column was renamed to Dorothy Dix Talks and under that name was to become the world’s longest-running newspaper feature.

The column’s widespread popularity began in 1923 when Dix signed with the Philadelphia-based Public Ledger Syndicate. At various times the column was published in 273 papers. At its peak in 1940, Dix was receiving 100,000 letters a year and her estimated reading audience was about 60 million in countries including United States, UK, Australia, New Zealand, South America, China, and Canada. One of her most famous single columns was Dictates for a Happy Life, a ten-point plan for happiness, which had to be frequently reprinted due to popular demand. In addition to her newspaper columns, Dix was the author of books such as How to Win and Hold a Husband and Every-Day Help for Every-Day People.

Her Dictates For A Happy Life still holds up today:

http://library.apsu.edu/dix/happy.htm

Note 2. The pdf’s. For people who have problems reading smaller print, here are pdf’s which make it really easy to see:

Dear Orly Taitz 1

Dear Orly Taitz 2

Dear Orly Taitz 3

Dear Orly Taitz 4

Dear Orly Taitz 5

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About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

40 responses to “OMG!!! Orly Taitz Starts “Dear Orly” Advice Column???

  • Northland10

    Make sure is right side up, because you want to look professional.

    Nothing says wiener like an upside-down slide filing.

    Nice job, Squeeky.

  • realist

    OMG!!! Bwahahahahaha

    Breathe

    Breathe

    Bwahahahaha

    LMAO!!

  • Sam the Centipede

    Oh this is so fake – the real Orly would have identified Beauregard’s egregious racketeering!

  • G

    ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh, this was so entertaining of a read that I had to keep pausing to wipe away the tears from laughter. My sides hurt too. Good job… 😉

    PS – really LOL at the Easter Egg phrase too…

  • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

    Hi G and Realist and Sam and Northland!!!

    I am glad everybody is enjoying this. Thank you!!!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  • Verbalobe

    This is really masterful! Of course we all get a lovely chuckle at the travails of a struggling patriot lawyer dentist martial arts blackbelt real estate agent mother of 4, but what are YOU doing to get the usurper out of the White house??? To be a communist muslim manchurian candidate with false identity papers is totally different from some cheating husband, courts are complicit for not dealing with constitutional crisis of biblical misappropriations.

    My advice is, send me money.
    -Orly

    p.s. I tried all those dictates for a happy life and they didn’t work. Turns out I am happiest when I dwell on the past, imagine the worst, hold grudges, and race around attacking imagined enemies everywhere I go. As we say in Moldova, diff’rent strokes.

  • GeorgetownJD

    Hokay, now there is coffee, spewed all over, my laptop!

  • Reality Check

    Than doG I saw the spew warning at Fogbow. My keyboard was saved! This is only so funny because it is the advice Orly would probably give.

  • The Hon. Dr. Keyes

    This smells like a hoax to me. I have it on good authority that Dr. Taitz is actively engaged in the practice of crazy people law and I have a retainer agreement to prove it.

  • Sam Waterburry

    Here’s the guy on the Diet of Gummy Worms

  • Plutodog

    Bwa ha ha!!! 2nd set didn’t open so was glad to have the pdf link! Great stuff!

  • Dallasite

    Eats is almost as good at giving advice as she is at laywering! Thanks, Squeeky, for searching the wide intertubes for her crunchy nuttiness!

  • Plutodog

    And I understand the Taitz has denied her part in this on her site. She’s such a evil genius…

  • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

    Well, I am so glad that everybody enjoyed this one, but that does mean that I am liable for keyboards??? Anyway,sooo Orly denies this??? Oh, I am off to see about that. . .

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

    • RoadScholar

      The “Orly” parts of these messages are so well written I can actually hear her voice inside my head.

      That is, when I can hear it over the laughing. Well done, Girl Reporter!

  • Ballantine

    Really funny stuff. I really did spit up some coffee reading this. I tend to feel sorry for Orly since she is just clueless, dumb or both. Then I read one of her hateful posts and all such feelings go away.

      • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

        Thank you Ballantine and Northland10:

        I do think Orly is maybe the only sincere Birther lawyer. I don’t believe for one minute that Mario or Larry Klayman really believe all the nonsense they peddle.

        But I think Orly really does live in a world where the idea of a totally corrupt bureaucracy controlling everything is a reality. In her way, she is fighting the good fight although she is sure wasting the heck out of her time and everybody elses.

        At this point a family member would have to do an intervention on her and hire cult-deprogrammers to duck tape her to a chair for a week or two, to work on the delusions. If they still do things that way. I could swear I saw that in a movie or something???

        Squeeky Fromm
        Girl Reporter

  • Yulia

    Sqeky make big defame here. She spend many years in Sing Sing, pay many kopeks.

    Obots must all lose moneys, not be so stupid.

  • LMK

    Bwahahahaha!

    On Orly’s site, Orly is crowing with pride that a video of her on the Stephanie Miller show is posted at NASDAQ.com. Of course, based on that interview, Orly sent Stephanie a Cease and Desist Order because one of Stephanie’s colleagues said that Orly had lost her dental license (there were questions about that at the time).

    Squeeky, have you received your Cease and Desist letter yet? It would be quite the trophy!

  • misha marinsky

    I just left a comment on Orly’s site: “How do I submit advice questions? Is this going to be a regular feature?

    I need advice about adultery.”

  • Lena

    I am made sick by the viol comments made by sick and corrupt obots. When you stand in judgment before your creator, you will be called to account for spreading lies and trying to destroy an innocent woman, Dr. Orly Taitz, esq., who is also wife and mother.

    16There are six things the Lord hates,
    seven that are detestable to him:
    proud eyes, a lying tongue,
    hands that shed innocent blood,
    a heart that devises wicked schemes,
    feet that are quick to rush into evil,
    19a false witness who pours out lies
    and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

    • RoadScholar

      Unless my reading comprehension has left the building, that Bible passage means Orly probably ought to be buried in an asbestos gown. Just in case.

      • Lena

        What you mean here? Is that another obot death threat against Dr. Taitz? Where is the corrupt FBI who are supposed to protect honest, patriotic citizens?

        She is brave and patriotic AMERICAN to stand against terror and corruption. Beware, obot. Remember Arafat!

    • RoadScholar

      Your bridge is cracked, one of your winding pegs is loose, and your tied frets are all out of whack. And you’re using the wrong kind of bow.

      Just thought I’d add some viol comments.

      • Northland10

        Lena and Yulia do not understand freedom of speech. In most case you can be viol. You can even be shawm, crumhorn or sackbut. You’re even free to be hurdy gurdy, should you wish to drone on.

  • Yulia

    Squeaky is dumb obot who pour out many lies. Schwartzer Monkey Boy make fun of patriots to much. Twinky Ike secret obot who work with Monkey Boy and cause trouble and much time waste.

    All need go to Big House for long time.

    • misha marinsky

      “Schwartzer Monkey Boy make fun of patriots to much.”

      “Schwartzer is from German and Yiddish. It is a derogatory reference to black people. It’s English equivalent would be “ni***r.”

      Nice racist slur, Yulia.

      “When you stand in judgment before your creator”

      Sorry, I’m an atheist. That does not frighten me.

      “spreading lies and trying to destroy an innocent woman, Dr. Orly Taitz, esq.”

      Her actual name is Svetlana Auerbach, and she was a streetwalker in Moldova. She has made a career out of trying to ruin the reputation of anyone whose politics she does not like. And she detests black people, which is common in East Europe, especially the former USSR.

    • misha marinsky

      “All need go to Big House for long time.”

      Orly will be going there when she has her full blown breakdown. I will be cheering.

    • RoadScholar

      Hey! What do I have to do to merit inclusion pn your Obot League of Evil Roster? Remind everyone that Orly Taitz is a shrill, brainless, un-American, incompetent, egomaniacal, horse-faced, washed-up, adulterous, lying bufoon?

      And that’s on a good day!

    • Monkey Boy

      Ahhh…Julie girl–not the Big House! The shame of it!

      However, with Twinky_Ike as a cellmate, maybe it wouldn’t be THAT bad.

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