Birther Porn??? (Or, A Psycho-Sexual Basis For Birtherism)

Judge Tanya Preferred Starting At The Bottom

The Story of  M

by Anonymous

Chapter 1. In The Judge’s Chamber

M had been a bad little lawyer  and he knew it. Once again he had presented his worst side to the Court, foisting off that Birther two citizen parent nonsense on another hapless client, and an overburdened judicial system. Now, it was time to pay the piper. Judge Tanya entered her chamber from a small office that served as the storeroom for her working clothes and the special litigation tools she used to keep her lawyers in line.

She was dressed in a black see-through robe, which did nothing to hide her ample cleavage, slim waist, and full hips. From the look on her face, M knew what was coming. . . a gag order and judicial restraint.  But not the good kind. She held one hand behind her back and M could not see what she was holding.  He was frightened and excited at the same, and he felt himself involuntarily rising for the Court. Then Judge Tanya whipped it out from behind her back . . . and he felt his worst fears and desires confirmed. It was the Rules of Civil Procedure!

Then Judge Tanya spoke in a dark, low voice, saying firmly “Today I had better hear some Special Pleadings, and you better not just go through the motions!  Now what do you have to say for yourself?”

M knew this routine well, and he had memorized the words, “You have personal jurisdiction over me, Your Honor, and I beg this Honorable Court to sanction me!”

Whoa, I had better cut Chapter 1 off before it gets to Rule 12(f) which covers Motions To Strike.

Anyway, there I was drinking a glass of Franzia White Zinfadel Wine, and reading the Vermont Birther Complaint.  I just couldn’t figure out why the Birthers keep on filing the same old crap over and over, even though it always loses. Plus, judges have started punishing the Birthers for filing these frivolous suits. Van Irion just got clobbered for over $20,000.00. Tracy Fair in Maryland got hit for costs. Mario Apuzzo, Esq. had to pay a small amount up in New Jersey when his appeal flopped. Couldn’t they see what was coming next???

Then it hit me! The Birthers weren’t stupid after all! It wasn’t that they were incapable of learning. They weren’t just butting their heads against brick walls for the heck of it. No, they enjoyed it! The pain of losing and all the humiliation turns them on!

If you think about it, this is the ONLY answer that makes any sense. There is no answer that you can find above the waist that explains why they keep on spouting out all that Vattel stuff when court after court has sent them packing. There is no higher cerebral function that provides justification for believing in the two citizen parents Imaginary Law enough to file a suit over it. Repeatedly.

But if you skip past the cerebrum, and all those frontal lobes and neopallium, and dig down deep into where the old Reptilian archipallium scrunches into the Paleomammalian limbric, then you can explain Birtherism as some sort of weird animal sexual pleasure.

This is even some scientific evidence for this theory. The following excerpt, from a most Birther appropriate source, is based on Paul MacLeans triune brain theory: (See http://www.kheper.net/topics/intelligence/MacLean.htm . See also http://uwf.edu/jgould/triunebrain.pdf ) :

The reptilian brain is the most ancient of the brains. It has two hemispheres, just like the neocortex, and it may be that they relate functionally to the left and right hemispheres of the neocortex. The reptilian brain consists of the upper part of the spinal cord and the basal ganglia, the diencephalon, and parts of the midbrain— all of which sits atop the spinal column like a knob in the middle of our heads.

It is thought to represent a fundamental core of the nervous system and derives from a form of mammal-like reptile that once ranged widely over the world but disappeared during the Triassic period having provided the evolutionary link between dinosaurs and mammals. All modern mammals have this reptilian complex, including humans.

At least five human behaviors originate in the reptilian brain. These have been denoted as isopraxic, preservative, re-enactment, tropistic, and deceptive. Without defining them, I shall simply say that in human activities they find expression in:

1- Obsessive-compulsive behavior;

2- Personal day-to-day rituals and superstitious acts;

3- Slavish conformance to old ways of doing things;

4- Ceremonial re-enactments;

5- Obeisance to precedent, as in legal, religious, cultural, and other matters;

6- Responding to partial representations (coloration, “strangeness,” etc.), whether alive or inanimate; and

7- All manner of deception.

The expressions of that reptilian brain behavior as provided above nail the Birthers cold. You see them obsessively and compulsively filing frivolous suits, and slavishly doing them in the same conforming manner. Their blogs and websites are filled with ceremonial re-enactments including American Eagles, Founding Fathers, American flags (no gold fringe), and the Revolutionary War guys with the fife and drum and flag.

Their obeisance to legal precedent might not seem to fit, until you realize they are just respecting the earlier faux precedents of Emerich de Vattel, tempered with reactions to the strangeness of a black man in the White House. One can almost see the discombobulated coloration and strangeness gears grinding against each other down there in the Gulag Archipallium of their minds – – -the colors don’t match, the colors don’t match, he’s black and the house is white, he’s black and the house is white. . .

Finally, Birthers are all into deception. But they generally only deceive themselves, so they have to travel in packs and stay in safe and cozy echo chambers lest anyone disturb their illusion of sanity.

While this explains the source of the behavior, it does not explain the peculiar way that behavior manifests itself, namely the weird desire to be disciplined and punished by Judges. Perhaps the black robes are a Nihilistic self-destruction symbol, or maybe when they were children they got spankings while old Perry Mason episodes were running in the background. That is beyond the scope of this article. But we do know that some people find sexual pleasure in pain and humiliation.

All we can do here is to document that it happens, and happens often, and that there is no rational explanation for this behavior. Therefore, the explanation must fall into the irrational category, and what is more irrational in human existence than sexual behavior???

No doubt this will be a controversial theory, but nothing else adequately explains the craziness.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

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About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

59 responses to “Birther Porn??? (Or, A Psycho-Sexual Basis For Birtherism)

  • realist

    I think you may have really hit on something there, Squeeky. 🙂

  • Verbalobe

    In the immortal words of Kevin Bacon: Thank you, sir! Can I have another?!

  • Andrew Vrba

    This picture and article make me feel funny.

  • RoadScholar

    Self-portrait, Squeeky? Halloween costume perhaps?

  • Dave B.

    I really do believe, no joke, that you’re onto something. It’s almost like a kind of flagellation.
    Then there’s that whupping administered to Mario by young Ms. Hill. I wonder what Mario made of that…

  • notaxj

    This applies to all birthers with the exception of Orly. In Orly’s case, it is about the publicity. Even if it is bad publicity. She LOVES her some cameras and the press!

  • G

    Ooohhh…hot and kinky! ROTFLMAO! There is just so much awesomeness that I loved about this article…so I’ll just simply say Kudos and point out that THIS, of all the oozing gems of goodness, believe it or not, was my favorite:

    But if you skip past the cerebrum, and all those frontal lobes and neopallium, and dig down deep into where the old Reptilian archipallium scrunches into the Paleomammalian limbric, then you can explain Birtherism as some sort of weird animal sexual pleasure.

    Now that phrasing was totally a work of orgasmic beauty!
    😉

  • Monkey Boy

    Is Twinky_Ike a dominatrix or a slave?

    • RoadScholar

      Neither. He’s a catamite.

    • Rambo_Ike

      Psst Boy Monkey.

      I have “Twinkey” hanging. Anytime you, G-string, or RoadScholar are in the humming mood don’t be shy.

      G-string thinks I’m a sadist after all the times I spanked him on Fatty McKinnion & Dr. Con’s propaganda sites.

      • G

        In your sad little dreams, Rambo_Ike. You sound like Mario the Mangler – getting your ass constantly kicked and run away, declaring victory. But hey, when you are nothing but a perpetual loser, pretend bravado is all you’ve got…hence your joke of a moniker. But hey, keep acting tough while crying like a baby…maybe you’ll be able to convince yourself someday. Everyone else…err…not so much…

        • RoadScholar

          “Waaaahhhh! Make the scary black man go away! I’m wettin’ myself!” -TwinkyIke

        • Rambo_Ike

          Yo G-string,

          I know ya wanna look good in front of your homies, but you need to grow a set an “man-up”. There were so many I can’t remember them all.

          Couple more I do remember were Sir Anus, the vertically challenged pedophile, and my favorite, Scientist. He was the only one I was able to isolate on a neutral site [Lucas Smith] where my responses weren’t tampered with. After about 3 rounds of reaming he crawled away like a ruptured duck, holding his tush.

        • G

          Sorry Rambo_Ike, but every time you’ve opened your yap, you’ve only made yourself look like a fool. I haven’t seen you win an argument against anyone at all yet. Certainly not against me. But hey, keep running away when you get your ass kicked and proclaiming victory… such is the hallmark of a perpetual loser.

      • Monkey Boy

        Twinky, you would have to rent the necessary equipment.

      • roadburner

        y´know, it´s funny ike, but i seem to remember your visits to doc´s site more along the lines of you getting beaten harder than a red headed stepchild.

        surely someone must have told you that before entering a battle of wits, make sure you have more than half your armoury.

  • Slartibartfast

    Squeeky,

    Wow! So the whole of birtherism is just a particularly disturbing example of rule 34. Do you have any brain bleach that I can borrow?

  • Northland10

    On a related note, recently I was wondering why Orly’s followers continue to genuflect to their queen while she has only managed to lighten their wallet but not succeeded in any court case. Why would they stay with somebody who is incapable of succeeding? It is then I come to the conclusion that, for at least many of the male followers, there worship of Orly is based upon something other than her attorney skills or her position as a political decedent (her term). Her, um, domination of the birther world may be part of the reason her FMs stay with her.

    • G

      This is a group that seems to think banging their heads against a brick wall repeatedly is a good thing…in other words, they are insane.

      The gullible are easily swayed by mere quantity, as they lack the mental ability to properly comprehend and evaluate quality.

      I’m not even going to touch the segment of Birthers who also seem to have some sort of sexual fantasy fetish with the messy mop-headed Moldovian. *barf*

      Different strokes for different folks is the kindest thing I can say about that…and the Birthers are definitely “different”…

      • Rambo_Ike

        How ironic the G-string brings up “sexual fantasy fetish”. That’s what many of us believe is the reason you, Boy Monkey, RoadKill [Brown, the mental-midget] are hanging out on Squeeky’s blog. The 3 of you represent the bottom layer of the Obot Cesspool. You all are low that you can’t reach up to grab the bottom rung of society.

        Only in your fantasy minds did you beat me on any of your sites. I posted a list on Woodman’s Folly after Dr. Con banned me showing the different issues where I mopped the floor with yas. Everyone seen it, noone disputed it. Plus Lupin and Dr. Con are still running from my challenge on Vattel & blood relatives – sniveling cowards. RoadKill knows I gave him a good spanking on Bill Ayers, G-string is still licking his wounds over the spankings I gave him on the Iraq War & Swiftboat Vets, and then there is Northland10, King of the Red Herring – that poor soul is yet to win one.

        • Dave B.

          It’s interesting how egos, unlike balloons, become more impervious to puncture the more inflated they become.

        • Northland10

          @rambo_ike

          Some years ago, my class of 7th graders were busy with their silent reading when a high school student came in, upset that I had not given her the role she felt she deserved in the musical. She went on to call me all sorts of names, tell me how I was the worst choir director ever and yell about how her father said she had the best voice and I was to stupid see this. As I silently watched, she continued her tirade and then stormed out of the room yelling, “you’ll be surprised when they fire your ass.”

          My class of 7th graders, now having witness the display, were sitting with eyes wide open and mouths gaping open until one finally said, “does she realize how much she just embarrassed herself?”

        • G

          *yawn* As usual, you are just immature and full of delusional and hollow projection to cover for your constant failures, Rambo_Ike.

          Sorry, but no one is falling for it. I have yet to see you win any argument against anyone. I’ve seen you get your ass handed to you countless times. You certainly have always lost to me…

          …but hey, keep running away and declaring victory! That is the sign of a true loser, which is all you have ever amounted to.

        • RoadScholar

          Awww…. somebody needs a fresh diaper, and some powder on him’s bum-bum!

  • Rambo_Ike

    Dave B,

    I was thinking along the same lines seeing a total lack of empathy from Obots at what Montgomery & Orly were subjected to in Kansas. Really was funny seeing the threats towards someone’s family, eh?

    • Dave B.

      I don’t see how that’s along the same lines, but you may be raising a valid point. I don’t know what specific actions in Kansas you are referring to.
      There are certainly limits to what I see as acceptable. If someone’s public activities result in their being subjected to public scorn and ridicule, fine. It all goes with the territory. And I can see how the associates of a person in a public position should be made aware of that person’s public activities. Beyond that, a person’s family should not be subject to being threatened, harassed, ridiculed or importuned.

    • Monkey Boy

      Hey, Twinky

      It’s odd you don’t make any comment about the maligning and defamation of the President’s dead parents and grandparents.

      You turdballs would cry “I’m a victim” while wallowing the blood of a multi-family massacre. You are sickening.

    • G

      Oh, cry me a river there, Mr. false equivalency!

      Montgomery got some flack and got mocked. Same with Orly. There is no supporting evidence to back up that either of them were “threatened” in any way. No one was physically harmed either.

      So, no I am not sympathetic to a bunch of trash talking slanderers who merely get teased and catch deserved flack for their poor behaviors.

      In regards to Montgomery being removed from his public announcing position for the band – such consequences are not that unusual, when someone in a position to represent an organization has to be removed or step down for controversial remarks. Happens all the time. So again, nothing improper there either.

      Words and actions often have consequences. You whiney little entitled Birther pansies need to learn that. Welcome to how real life functions, outside of your safe little online cocoons.

      • Rambo_Ike

        G-string, and RoadKill [mental midget Brown]

        You all can lie to yourselves and spew the propaganda, but the undenialable truth is that Montgomery’s family, people where he worked, and republicans on that Board were subject to threats by the local NAACP and a local black radical-activist’s group.

        I finally figured out what “scary black man” was about. I asked Fatty McKinnion what he meant by it but he never explained it. Since I don’t see black people as scary I didn’t get it. This is all about making fun of the white people that have been terrorized by the black brown-shirt gangs with their gestapo tactics over the last 4 years.

        • Monkey Boy

          ….white people that have been terrorized by the black brown-shirt gangs… .

          Twinky, the only thing that terrifies you is that the “black-brown gangs” will take the meat sticks out of your mouth.

        • G

          Where is your proof of these “threats”???

          I don’t see any. All I see are crybabies whining because people think they are loons for being Birthers. Ridicule for the ridiculous is not a threat. Nor is mere contempt for the contemptible.

        • RoadScholar

          Twinky-poo is used to ridicule and contempt, from taking showers in the locker room!

  • Rambo_Ike

    G-string,

    http://www.themercury.com/News/article.aspx?articleId=76a0973a91374c64952f64353eef8275

    Excerpts*:
    *Joe Montgtomery said he was withdrawing the complaint……….because of reaction that had been directed at him and at others.

    *”There’s been a lot of animosity directed at people around me … in ways that are intimidating,”

    *the reaction “has been very angry and mis-directed and I don’t believe I should be putting a burden on people around me, who are good people.”

    *Montgomery acknowledged that animosity was directed toward his family members and to his connection with K-State
    ~~~~~~

    Like so many other newspapers this local paper went into damage control and did its best to tone down – while not looking totally ridicules – what is occuring all across the country.

    • G

      Ohhh…animosity….inimitidating ridicule… BFD. what a crybaby pansy, just like you.

      Sorry Rambo_Ike, but nowhere in your article is there any actual evidence of a true threat of violence or harm…

      …just whining about getting flack. I’m sure a lot of folks have angrily told him he’s a jerk, loser, asshole, crazy birther and a sad embarrassment to the state. Such statements would certainly be an expression of deserved animosity…but they are NOT in any way, shape or form, real threats.

      If he is intimidated because people don’t like him for being a foolish and crazy asshole, then he should not be a foolish and crazy asshole.

      A lesson you’ve failed to learn too…

      Gosh, you folks are a bunch of crybaby pisspants, crying wolf at every turn.

  • Rambo_Ike

    Yo G-string,

    This is déjà vu. Reminds me of how amusing it was watching you spin dancing around the facts I presented at Fatty McKinnion’s.

    From the article: “….animosity was directed toward his family…”

    an·i·mos·i·ty (n-ms-t)
    n. pl. an·i·mos·i·ties
    1. Bitter hostility or open enmity; active hatred
    2. A hostile feeling or act. [hostile act; hostiltiy]

    hos·til·i·ty (h-stl-t)
    n. pl. hos·til·i·ties
    1. The state of being hostile; antagonism
    2. A hostile act; acts of war, fighting, combat

    If I was in Montgomery’s shoes I would have to consider my family first knowing what has been going on in the country over the last few years with the Black ‘brown-shirt’ Gangs.

    • G

      Hey bedwetter, instead of your hyperventilating about Montgomery’s characterization, how about you provide some ACTUAL evidence of any physical threat of violence, eh?

      Don’t have any? Didn’t think so… so yeah, I’m calling you a wolf-crying piss-pants again.

      Characterizations of “animosity” covers a wide-range of perceptions. Guess what is also a text book example of demonstrated animosity? Telling someone to Fuck Off.

      Yeah…ooohhh…really scary, right? Like assholes don’t bring upon and receive that type of “animosity” verbal hostility every single day.

      That would include assholes like you…so here, since you seem to get all histronic and feel like your live is “threatened” by such words…let me say this to you, little baby piss-pants – Fuck Off.

  • Rambo_Ike

    Boy Monkey, RoadKill, & G-string,

    Noone expects you 3 to take a stand against this terrorizing of Montgomery’s family simply because you lack the equipment to be classified with the male species.

    I did kinda think Squeeky would when it came to Orly. Not that she had to agree with Orly’s case, but on principles in this particular instance where the thug mentallity is present against a woman.

    • Monkey Boy

      Twinky…you apparently lack the equipment to be classified as higher primate; i.e., the ability to reason from deduced facts and apply those deductions correctly.

      The “thug mentallity(sic)” shouting down a member of Congress by you tea-tard bullies and asshats is OK in your book. Ditto, the threat to “march on Washington” and forcibly remove a democratically elected government. Not to mention the constant whining and crying for a military takeover of the government at the behest of small sliver of the population.

      Of course, you turdballs can’t assemble enough retarded souls to fill a subway car, unless some deep pocketed seditionist provides a rent-a-mob by providing buses for the motorized scooters and boxes of KFC with 16oz Pepsis. The things some people will do for a free ride and a free (toxic) snack.

      Therefore, you can’t disrupt any Presidential rallies, or even pack a court room in Georgia (of all places), so you content yourselves by lying about and defaming dead people connected to the President, or trying to demean our lovely, physically toned, well-proportioned and intelligent First Lady.

      So, if you “wide-stance” swishers are terrified by others pointing out that you are idiots and embarrassments, too bad.

      • Rambo_Ike

        Boy Monkey,

        I’m more than equiped to handle a bunch that have their heads stuck so far up the 0bumm0 butt-crack that it’s been years since they seen the light of day. No, I didn’t bring the whole truth on the gestapo activities of your Dear Leader’s brownshirts operating across America – thus hanging on the possibility that maybe 1 of you had a thread of decency. Obot & decency? Now that’s a real oxymoron.

        Trying to compare the Tea Party Patriots to the terrorist activities of Leftists groups will always give you 1 in the loss column, and you know it.

        How cute! So you got the ‘hots’ for Mooch. Beauty loved her Beast while Quasimodo hoped for any sign of affection from Esmerelda. i disagree with scientists who claim Neanderthals died out 25,000 years ago. I’m seeing signs of it today.

        Will Mooch still be proud of America when her Kenyan Wonder-Boy get his own private cell at Leavenworth, or will she revert back to her hatred.

        • Monkey Boy

          Twinky, you are boring. At least Farrar is amusingly stupid, you–on the other hand–are just stupid. The same boring cliches! Don’t you ever SAY anything?

          I wonder if you are really deluded enough to think that the President will be locked up–no, you can’t be that stupid. Like Yulia says, you are an Obot on the down low with a mission making birther fools look like…FOOLS.

        • G

          “terrorist activities from Leftists”??? Wow, you really do live in an alternate and backwards reality…

          Back here in the real world, most modern day terrorism is a function of extreme RW zealotry and bigotry.

          What left wing terrorists that might exist rarely rise above the level of acts of vandelism.

          RW terrorists kill innocents. Let’s not forget that Islamic Extremism is an ultra-conservative philosophy.

          But hey, if you want examples of domestic terrorism due to RW zealotry, bigotry and rage, here’s just a quick sample list from the PAST FOUR YEARS ALONE:

          Jim David Adkisson, Daniel Coward, Paul Schlesselman, Stephen Joseph Christopher, Kody Ray Brittingham, Richard Poplawski, Scott Roeder, James Von Brunn (Birther), George Sodini, Charles Dyer (Birther), Gregory Girard, Harry Weisiger, Hutaree Militia, Joseph Sean McVey (Birther), Jerry Ralph Kane Jr., Timothy Dement, Bryon Williams, Raymond Peake III, Hardy Lloyd, Bruce & Joshua Turnidge, James Cummings, Kevin Harpham, Schaeffer Cox, Ralph Lang, Stephen McDaniel, Thomas Frederick, Dan Roberts, Ray Adams, Samuel Crump, Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, Michael Jacques, Joseph Benjamin Thomas, Samuel James Johnson, Wade Michael Page, Terry Smith, Chanel SkainsDerrick Smith, Brian Lyn Smith, Brittney Keith, Kyle David Joekel, Teniecha Bright, Anton Caluori, David Kappheim.

          So yeah, it is crystal clear which ideological edge of the spectrum spawns most acts of real terrorism and despicable violence.

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

      Rambo Ike:

      I am not sure that either Joe the Birther or his family was terrorized. The story was real short on details. It sounds more like he just caught some flack for PI. (Public Idiocy) I did write a story on the Free Speech aspects related to his loss of the K-State Band announcer’s job.

      I concluded it was probably legal and even justified by the nature of the job, but not the best option which would have been K-State mounting a more stalwart defense of free speech. That Internet Article can be found here:

      https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/kansas-birther-faces-the-music-or-nationally-emblematic/

      I would point out that no Birther Blog has come to Joe the Birther’s defense, but certain Obots and Fogbow people have expressed the same thing I have, that they would be concerned if Joe the Birther had been fired from a less openly visible type job position.

      As far as Taitz, I did not see any “terrorizing” either, just some old codger trying to talk over her and few people holding signs. This is nothing she hasn’t done herself. In fact, it is Taitz who constantly urges her followers to call call judges, judge’s offices, and other persons to let them know how they feel about their positions.

      It could also be argued that it is Taitz herself who “terrorizes” innocent victims by suing them for expressing opinions contrary to Taitz’s, for example some of the latest press defendants.

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

      • G

        Well said Squeeky. I agree. No one here advocates or supports real “terrorism”…and there is certainly NO evidence of any actual “terrorism” in this situation.

        Rambo_Ike is just a passive-aggressive hypocrite piss-pants. He’s the typical coward who likes to play bully, but starts to cry in a fit of panic when someone calls him out on his crap.

        Maybe such fragile little eggs shouldn’t go around stirring up hornets nests in the first place…

      • RoadScholar

        Big Sister Lena sez:

        Incompetence is Passion.
        Sedition is Patriotism.
        Criticism is oppression.

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