A Virtual Birtherfest!!! (Or, A Ticket To Deride)

Birther Judy, from Buckshot, Arizona, Was So Very Glad She Came

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am very disappointed that the Birtherfest planned for September, 22, 2012 had to be called off for lousy ticket sales. Falling on the Pagan holiday of Mabon, or Harvest Home, I was really expecting some fireworks. Well, I am just not going to take it lying down. Sooo, Girl Reporter Productions proudly presents:

                  The Virtual BirtherFest

Ring Master: First,  to get things off on the right foot, Mr. Pat Boone, doing his hit song Crazy Train:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that something else? And next, to introduce the Hero of Leavenworth, Col. Terry Lakin, and discuss Terry’s wonderful book, Officer’s Oath, is Texan LoneStar1776, aka Rudy Davis:

LoneStar1776: And now, here is Colonel Terry Lakin appearing from the studios of the The Manning Report:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that exciting!!! Now, the one and only Pat Boone, showing off another one of his many talents!

Ring Master: Wasn’t that hilarious! Let’s have another big round of applause for Pat Boone!

Ring Master: And now, a few words from Sheriff Joe Arpaio, courtesy of AMTV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that inspiring??? Now we have CitizenPatriot Tom Ballantyne with a brief speech from his gun shop:

Now, Mr. Pat Boone performing a medley of songs to entertain you:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that special??? Now, for our final speaker of the day, we have Hollywood Movie Producer Bettina Viviano appearing courtesy of WND TV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that scary good??? Now, all the speeches are over and it’s time for the  meet and greet and dance!

                       The End.

The After Party Report

Sooo, now everybody headed over to the hotel next door. All the City Birthers were having a good time, chilling, getting their groove on, and making their hook-ups for the evening when Country Birfer, who can’t afford a ticket, showed up and made like a giant buzz kill. He got drunk and started throwing furniture around, so management called the cops:

Country Birfer Underestimated The Drinks With The Little Umbrellas

Thankfully, the Cold Case Posse handled him, but then, just when the  party was getting back on track,  a rowdy motorcycle gang showed up:

The Leader Of The Pack Starts Picking On Sam Sewell

A drunk Pat Boone insulted their “leather” and challenged them to a fight:

Pat Boone Didn’t Have Any Brass Knuckles, But He Figured His Rings Would Work Just As Well

And the whole thing ended up outside in a giant mud fight:

The Birthers Had A Natural Advantage In The Mud

Birthers wallowing in the mud. How apropos!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Problems. Orly Taitz showed up and demanded to speak, but was told there was no way to fit her in. She is adding the organizers to her massive lawsuit as defendants. Be sure to click on the picture. It’s animated, in addition to having an Easter Egg.:

Orly Didn’t Believe There Was No Way To Fit Her In

Note 2. Link. Here is a link to the story about the cancellation of this event:


Note 3. Ticket & Refund Policy

Our policy is NO Refunds and NO Exchanges for tickets purchased either online or in person. Admission to this show is guaranteed for as long as WordPress hosts this website. Must be 18 years or older to attend, unless accompanied by an adult. The Birther Think Tank is not responsible for any brain damage caused by any of the material herein.


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 34. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

8 responses to “A Virtual Birtherfest!!! (Or, A Ticket To Deride)

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