Perplexed Pixelated Patriot Packs A Peck Of Panicky Piffle!!!

After Finishing Off The Punch Bowl, The Pixelated Patriot Was Ready To Piddle Around

Some blogger known as the Pixel Patriot has written a nonsensical article:


Now how does Pixel Patriot go about proving this sensational charge???

First, he lays out a historical fact from World War II:

Velvalee Dickinson or the “Doll Woman” was convicted of espionage against the United States for Japan during World War II. FBI Laboratory cryptographers determined from her intercepted letters about dolls which she encrypted had referenced Allied war ships involved in the attack on Pearl Harbor. Coded words were intended to inform the enemy of the status of these ships such as their location, condition and repair.

Next, he springs this judicial SMOKING GUN, where a judge in the above case used the term NATURAL BORN CITIZEN!!!

Federal District Court Judge Shackelford Miller Jr.’s comments during the sentencing of Velvalee Dickinson were significant because he directly correlated the connection of why being a Natural Born Citizen is at the heart of one’s loyalty to their country:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Because Velvalee Dickinson was born on American soil (Jus Soli) to two parents who were both American citizens at the time she was born (Jus Sanguini), the court “found it hard to believe” she could be disloyal. Therefore, the court considered in its comments at sentencing the classification of Natural Born Citizen to be a method by which citizens of the nation derive their loyalty to the nation.

Thirdly, Pixel Patriot brings in the all important Elementary School angle:

The NSA or the National Security Agency provides educational materials to Elementary schools for academic development. At their website under the ACADEMIA TAB can be found Elementary School Concept Development Units dating as far back as 1995. For this outreach the agency uses the application of math, statistical analysis, fractions, Geometry/Algebra, measurements and patterns in a classroom setting.

On page 56 the requirements for being President of the United States are included as “Other Useful Information”. It does not inform the participant that the requirements are from Article II of the U.S. Constitution but it does state that you MUST:

– Be a natural born citizen.

– Be at least 35 years old.

– Have lived in the United States for 14 years.

MUST would indicate these are not optional. So does the Constitution.

However, in 2004, this same exercise did not include the additional useful information.
(archived here)

Fourthly, Pixel Patriot brings in the U.S. military, who uses the term NATURAL BORN CITIZEN:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

And finally, (Thank God!) he ties in something from the USCIS, who also use the term NATURAL BORN CITIZEN:

The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, or USCIS has regulations that delineates between native born Citizens and natural-born Citizens.  The implications being Article II of the U.S. Constitution is not some archaic or out-dated concept.  It is an existing law that requires compliance.

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Here is a link to the whole ball of wax so that you can try to make sense of it for yourself:

Now, did anybody else notice that you don’t ever see anything about these entities defining natural born citizens to require two citizen parents??? Do two citizen parents produce natural born citizens? Of course. So do two Lapplanders if the kid is born inside the United States.  Did Pixel Patriot ever tie in World War II to Obama, who was born 20 years later? Or, did he tie in the elementary school stuff in 2004, about 40 years after Obama was in elementary school, to anything? Is there anything at all in the article to support this headline:


Pixel Patriot simply found the words natural born citizen here and there across the Internet, ascribed the Birther definition to it, and then concluded that anybody who doesn’t act as if that definition was accurate and legally valid is guilty of something.  Job done! However, there is no actual reasoning in the article. There is no recognition of the multiple courtroom losses. There is no recognition that most Americans don’t believe the two citizen parent nonsense, and more importantly that ZERO courts have bought into it. Where has Pixel Patriot been for the last four years???

There is not even logical consistency. If the Birther definition requiring two citizen parents is so self-evident, then where is the cover-up???  Heck, the whole country is on it. Why didn’t he write an article entitled this:


I mean, Jerome Corsi never said anything about Obama requiring two citizen parents in his 2008 book,The  Obama Nation. Was Deputy Jerry in on it, too???

This is a dumb, idiotic, childish, superficial article and very poorly argued. Pixel Patriot did a pretty good job of insuring every sentence had a subject and a verb, but beyond that any relationship to comprehensible argument is missing. It is like something a monkey banging on a keyboard with automatic SpellChek and GrammarChek would produce. Which made it good enough to get fifteen minute of infamy at ObamaReleaseYourRecords.

Do any Birthers actually read beyond the headlines of crap like this???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Pixelated.

Main Entry: pixelated 2
Part of Speech: adj
Definition: bewildered, confused; slightly insane; also called pixilated


Nonsense, foolish talk; To act or speak in a futile, ineffective, or nonsensical manner; To waste, to fritter away.

Note 2. Image Easter Egg. A word play on punch, the drink, and punch drunk, the mental condition:

1. Showing signs of brain damage caused by repeated blows to the head. Used especially of a boxer.
2. Behaving in a bewildered, stupified, confused, or dazed manner.


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 34. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

3 responses to “Perplexed Pixelated Patriot Packs A Peck Of Panicky Piffle!!!

  • G

    And I thought Glenn Beck was bad at stringing together meaningless random dots to conjure up a wacky conspiracy…

    Pixel Patriot has just topped Beck here in that form of uncorrelative reaching…

    With logic skills that shoddy and broken, I seriously wonder how some folks are able to even tie their shoes and feed themselves each day, without messing that up and hurting themselves in the process….

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

      Hi G!!!

      Isn’t this guy a piece of work??? His blog indicates that he can keep it together enough to live outside a padded cell, but what goes on in his house when no one is looking???

      Does he go outside at night and look at the skies for portents and omens??? Does he have cameras set up to watch his yard, and when doggies visit, does he trace them back to their owners and return the droppings???

      Something just ain’t right with this boy.

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

  • notaxj

    Well. It all had to come out sooner or later. It is apparent that Pixel Patriot ( no doubt along with Carl Swennson’s bwilliant wegal mind) would put 2 and 2 together and come up with 10.

    Now they just need to call on all the 1st division of the Keyboard Commandos to come together and surround the White House so they can do them some frog march’n.

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