Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney???

The Jury Simply Wasn’t Buying Klayman’s Theory Of The Case

A few weeks ago  Larry Klayman, Esq. had a “Butterdezillion Moment.”  He decided when Alvin Onaka, Ph.D, the Hawaiian State Registrar verified to Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett  that “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files“,  Onaka was actually failing  to verify that information.

(Click on Image to Enlarge.)

The above blurb was taken from Klayman’s August 29, 2012 letter to DNC General Counsel Robert Bauer, Esq.. (See Note 1 below for a pdf copy of the Arizona Requests and the Hawaiian Verification, and Klayman’s letter to Bauer.) Klayman went on to add:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Let’s deconstruct this a little:

Onaka States:  “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”

Klayman Responds: Onaka was asked to verify the birth facts for Barack Hussein Obama that are claimed on the birth certificate posted on the White House website and pointedly failed to do so.

Klayman Responds: Mr. Onaka undeniably failed to verify that the image posted at whitehouse.gov “is a true and accurate representation of the original record in [the DOH] files.”

Klayman falls into the same tar pit of confusion that Birther Butterdezillion fell into. In fact, I think Klayman is using her journey into illogic as his starting point. Referencing the full pdf copies of the Arizona requests, and Onaka’s Verification below,  Ken Bennett made 3 separate requests. First, he filled out a Verification Request Form which had 6 items of identifying information typed in. Then, he requested verification of 10 separate pieces of information, and finally a blanket request that the White House long form image was a true and accurate representation of the original file.

Without going too deeply into the mechanics of the situation again, all 3 requests were verified. The first request was answered by the Verification itself. As Hawaii law states (See full statute in Note 2 below.):

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

The 6 typed in items were stated by Ken Bennett, the applicant, and thus confirmed by the Verification itself, as emphasized by the first 2 items on Onaka’s list.  The second request covering 10 items of information was specifically verified as items 3 through 12 on Onaka’s list. Finally, Onaka specifically stated the White House image matched the records on file. All this can be seen in the Note 1 Arizona pdf.

What I want to do is look more closely at Onaka’s response to that last request:   “The information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”  I submit that if that statement had been the only response on the Verification form, that statement alone would have answered all three of Arizona SOS Ken Bennett’s request.

The reason is, that each of the 6 items typed into the Verification Request Form also appear on the White House long form image. The same is true of the 10 separate pieces of information for which Bennett requested Verification. If all that information is on the long form image, then in effect, these are “the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.” And, Onaka’s “verification  shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.”

Klayman, and his mixed–up mentor, Butterdezillion, are busily engaged in trying to wiggle and squirm their way out of Onaka’s Verification. Both are more concerned with what Onaka did NOT say, then what he did say. They try to pretend that there is some huge and legally significant difference between the phrases identical to and true and accurate representation of and Onaka’s phrase the information attached with your request matches  the original records.

In fact, the two of them argue that by NOT mimicking the exact words of the request, Onaka’s statement means the information has not been verified at all, and in fact is confirmation that the White House long form image and the original records are not the same at all. Butterdezillion has flittered off into the theory that “the word matches means that blank boxes equal filled-in boxes.” Klayman gets his little panties in such a wad that he fires off a series of indignant and foolishly threatening letters to the effect that the recipients darn well better not rely on Onaka’s statement:

the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches the original records in our files.

Oh really??? In actuality, Onaka’s statement provides exactly the proof that the various agencies and groups require. The long form Image that Obama posted matches Hawaii’s records. Only in Birfer World is that statement hard to understand. Which is very unfortunate for Birthers, because darned if that Slippery Onaka hasn’t gone and done it two more times!!! (See the Kansas and Mississippi Verifications in Note 1 below.)

Here is what Onaka said for Mississippi on May 31, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

and here is what Onaka said for Kansas on September 14, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Plus, Alvin Onaka signed off on all three of the Verifications with the same language found on the Mississippi Verification:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

In spite of all this, the Birthers remain convinced that there is something fishy about the Obama long form Image. If this isn’t DENIAL with a capital D, then there is no such thing as denial. And, the drunks are right when they get 5 DWI’s and still maintain they don’t have a drinking problem. No, this is about as slam dunk as you can get on the birth certificate issue. But I got to thinking about this, and since I don’t want to do like the Birther Blogs, and put one thing in my title something else in the article, let’s examine a hypothetical situation:    Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney!!!

From Larry Klayman’s Closing Argument in Bob “The Bank Robber” Beaumont’s Criminal Trial

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I want you to know how much I appreciate your time and attention during the course of this trial. We are almost finished, because this is really a simple verdict for you to bring back. The State’s entire case rests on fingerprint evidence, DNA analysis, and other tests which allegedly shows that my client,  Bob Beaumont, robbed the First National Bank. You heard Mr. Clyde from the State Crime Lab testify that he ran a DNA test on the wad of Red Man chewing tobacco the masked bank robber spit on the floor of the bank, as captured on camera.  Mr. Clyde says that DNA matches Bob’s DNA.

You also heard Mr. Clyde testify that fingerprints were all over the marked bills that were recovered from the robbery, and those fingerprints match Bob’s fingerprints. Mr. Clyde also said that a large quantity of human drool was found on those same bills, and the DNA on that drool matches Bob’s DNA.  And, Mr. Clyde, who thinks he is some kind of Match King, says that the fingerprints and DNA found on a gun and ski mask right outside the bank’s front door, matches Bob’s fingerprints and DNA.

And finally, Mr. Clyde testifies that a retinal scan from a hidden bank scanner, and a voice analysis from the bank video tape also match up with Bob’s post arrest retinal scan and voice analysis. Well, there you have it in a nutshell. The State has NO CASE whatsoever! Because when Mr. Clyde says all this stuff matches, he is not saying that all these things are identical! Nor, is he saying that they are true and accurate representations of anything.

Therefore, the State has utterly failed to meet its burden to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. As a matter of fact, by refusing to say that these things were identical, or true and accurate representations, the State proved beyond a reasonable doubt that my client IS INNOCENT! Those of you who were able to stay awake without suffering seizures during the testimony of our expert symantical witness, Butterdezillion Jones, know what I am telling you makes sense.

Forget what Mr. Clyde said during his sworn testimony!  The real question you should be asking is why Mr. Clyde didn’t use those phrases identical to and true and accurate representations.  After this is over, I am going to sue Mr. Clyde. If you 12 people don’t find Bob innocent, then I may sue you too! Remember that when you are back there in that jury room! And remember this:

If the fingerprints match, guilt must not attach!!!

That is how I see this whole thing.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Pdf Copies.

Arizona Requests and Verification

Klayman Letter to DNC Bauer

Mississippi Request For Verification

Mississippi Verification

kansas-verification

Note 2. Hawaii Statute governing Verifications:

HRS §338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

Note 3. Links to Butterdezillion Articles:

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/26/butterdezillion-tries-to-evolve/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/22/butterdezillion-still-crazy-as-a-betsy-bug/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/butterdezillion-and-the-unwritten-law-of-magic-spells/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/the-strange-universe-of-butterdezillion-or-all-mimsy-were-the-borogoves/

Note 4. Link to relevant Larry Klayman article:

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/the-political-theatre-of-the-absurd-or-deconstructing-klayman/

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About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

2 responses to “Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney???

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