Larry Klayman Is Dressing Up Like A Lawyer For Halloween!!! (Or, Loser Suit Larry)

Mr. Scratch Couldn’t Help But Chuckle When He Heard Klayman Was Going To Represent Himself

Well, Larry “Klutz” Klayman, Esq.,  aka Loser Suit Larry, must have sold his soul to the Devil or Joseph Farah, whichever, because now he is going down the idiotic Citizen Grand Jury Birther road.  Here is what he recently wrote at World Net Daily (WND):

On Oct. 31, 2012, I will be in Ocala, Fla., presenting evidence to a citizens grand jury, chosen in the ordinary course without regard to politics and biases, seeking the indictment of the likes of President Barack Hussein Obama, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and others who have betrayed and terrorized the nation and violated the rule of criminal law. With regard to Obama, not only has he defrauded the American people by being elected president despite his not being a natural born citizen, but he also has compromised, in treasonous fashion, our national security. Once indicted, we will then seek to try him for these crimes. If he refuses to appear at trial, which he surely will, the people will try him in abstentia.

In effect, along with a coterie of other patriots, we will make Ocala in 2012 what Philadelphia was to the colonies in 1776. Please join us in the noble cause, as We the People have been abandoned and scorned by our so-called leaders for far too long. See Now it is our time to risk our fortunes, sacred honor and lives to preserve the nation, using the rights that our Founding Fathers bequeathed to us: the citizens grand jury.

Forget about Mitt Romney and the Republican Party; their game is up. We can save the nation and live without them, so help us God.

They must be getting desperate over at  WND, because the citizen grand jury Birther game is so old and toothless most Birthers won’t even fall for it. The scam was popular for a while several years ago. For example, see this article from April 2009:

This is a familiar routine. The results are a foregone conclusion. Obama will be found guilty of whatever they charge him with. If a Judge ever bothers to look at whatever crap they produce, he will say something like Judge Lambert said in 2009. (See Note 2 below.):

[T]here is no authority under the Rules of Procedure or in the statutes of the United States for this court to accept [a presentment]… The individuals who have made this presentment were not convened by this court to sit as a grand jury nor have they been selected at random from a fair cross section of this district. Any self-styled indictment or presentment issued by such a group has no force under the Constitution or laws of the United States.”

The only thing remotely interesting about the announcement is the title  (Life After Romney And The Republicans)  and the  catty little remark about Mitt  and the  GOP, “Forget about Mitt Romney and the Republican Party; their game is up. We can save the nation and live without them, so help us God.” I sense that Klayman is a little miffed about the Republican grown-ups ignoring the silly, childish Birther stuff.  Sooo, we get the histrionic, whiny, little, “Who needs them, we’ll just do it all by ourselves!” mantra. Yeah, and next the Birthers will hold their breaths until they turn blue, and  run away and join the circus. Oh wait, they already joined the circus.

Anyway, I guess Larry “Klutz” Klayman does not intend to ever practice real-world, serious law again. Perhaps he is thinking of a new career in acting, or maybe stand-up comedy???  If he appears at your door on Halloween night in his little junior lawyer costume, don’t give him any of the good candy.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image.  This is Walter Huston playing the Devil in the 1941 film, The Devil and Daniel Webster. Wiki says:

The Devil and Daniel Webster is a 1941 fantasy film, adapted by Stephen Vincent Benét and Dan Totheroh from Benét’s short story, “The Devil and Daniel Webster”. The film’s title was changed to All That Money Can Buy to avoid confusion with another film released by RKO that year, The Devil and Miss Jones, and later had the title restored on some prints. It has also been released under the titles Mr. Scratch, Daniel and the Devil and Here Is a Man. The film stars Edward Arnold, Walter Huston, and James Craig. It was directed by William Dieterle.

In 1840 New Hampshire, poor, downtrodden farmer Jabez Stone (James Craig) sells his soul to “Mr. Scratch” (Walter Huston) in return for seven years of luck and prosperity. With his time almost up, Stone begs famed orator and fellow New Hampshirite Daniel Webster (Edward Arnold) to find some way out of his bargain with the Devil. Webster agrees to take his case. Mr. Scratch offers an extension in exchange for Jabez’s son, but Jabez turns him down. He then begs Webster to leave before it is too late, but Webster refuses to go, boasting that he has never left a jug or a case half finished.

When Mr. Scratch shows up to claim his due, Webster has to risk his own soul before his fiendish opponent will agree to a trial by jury. Mr. Scratch chooses the jury members from among the most notoriously evil men of American history, with John Hathorne (one of the magistrates of the Salem witch trials) as the judge.

Loser Suit Larry is a word play on another famous “loser”, Leisure Suit Larry,  about which Wiki says:

Leisure Suit Larry is a series of adventure games written by Al Lowe and published by Sierra from 1987 to 2009. The main character, is Larry Laffer who, though still somewhat lovable, is a balding, dorky, double entendre-speaking, leisure suit-wearing “loser” in his 40s. The games follow him as he spends much of his life trying (usually unsuccessfully) to seduce attractive women.

The Birther “Larry Laugher” is always losing his Birthers lawsuits.

Note 2. Citizen Grand Juries:

Wiki even has an article on citizen grand juries, which did not start with the Birthers, and notes:

The earliest so-called 9/11 citizen grand jury, the 23-member “Los Angeles Citizens’ Grand Jury on the Crimes of 9/11/01,” was organized in 2004 by activist Lynne Pentz. By October of that year it had launched an “indictment” accusing George W. Bush and other administration officials of complicity and foreknowledge of the attacks.[1] Among those offering testimony at the event were Webster Tarpley, Barbara Honegger, Don Paul, Jim Hoffman and Christopher Bollyn. Similar citizen grand juries were organized in San Diego later in the 2000s.[2]

Some campaigners, led by Georgia activist Carl Swensson, have sought to, “finally expose the conspiracy behind President Obama’s birth certificate,” by forming what they term “citizen grand juries” to indict Obama.[3] The “citizen grand juries” are based on the Fifth Amendment’s premise that “no person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury.”[according to whom?]

Although the activists managed to hand out copies of “indictments” to Congressional staff,[4] the courts have not regarded the “citizen grand juries” favorably. In June 2009, a group of 172 campaigners declared themselves to be a “Super American Grand Jury” and voted to charge Obama with treason and accused him of not being a U.S. citizen.[5] Chief Judge Royce C. Lamberth of the United States District Court for the District of Columbia dismissed the “indictment” on July 2, 2009 and declared “[T]here is no authority under the Rules of Procedure or in the statutes of the United States for this court to accept [a presentment]… The individuals who have made this presentment were not convened by this court to sit as a grand jury nor have they been selected at random from a fair cross section of this district. Any self-styled indictment or presentment issued by such a group has no force under the Constitution or laws of the United States.”[6]

Note 3. The Image Easter Egg. A word play on “Sole Practitioner.”

A person, who through a regular program of study, is learned in legal matters and has been licensed to practice his or her profession. Any qualified person who prosecutes or defends causes in courts of record or other judicial tribunals of the United States, or of any of the states, or who renders legal advice or assistance in relation to any cause or matter. Unless a contrary meaning is plainly indicated this term is synonymous with attorney, attorney at law, or counselor at law.

Note 4. In Abstentia. I didn’t think this was a real phrase, and that Klayman meant “in absentia”, but maybe I was wrong:

The GENERAL CONTEXT of such use is: ‘in abstentia’ – the realities of legitimation: In order to understand that the social effects of the common or learned (i.e., taught, as by pedagogic communications) illusions (maya), which are sociologically implied in the system of relations between the educational system (the School) and the structure of class relations, are not illusory, it is necessary to go back to the principle which governs this system of relations. Legitimation of the established order, by the School, presupposes social recognition of the legitimacy of the School, a recognition resting in turn on misrecognition of the delegation of authority which establishes that legitimacy, or, more precisely, on misrecognition of the social conditions of a harmony between structures and habitus sufficiently perfect to engender misrecognition of the habitus as a product reproducing what produces it and correlative recognition of the structure of the order thus reproduced. Thus, the educational system objectively tends, by concealing the objective truth of its functioning, to produce the ideological justification of the order it reproduces by its functioning.

OK. Either that, or it is a city near Ocala???


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 34. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

12 responses to “Larry Klayman Is Dressing Up Like A Lawyer For Halloween!!! (Or, Loser Suit Larry)

  • Monkey Boy

    Ho hum. With no one bribing pensioners and trailer park denizens to attend, I expect this event to draw two dozen lobotomized attendees.

    The billionaire funders have moved on from bribing petty grifters with buckets of KFC and a ride on an air-conditioned bus to these things. With the defeat of Christine O’Donnell, Angle in Nevada and some other loonies, they are not looking to defeat any more electable RWers in favor of foamers-at-the mouth. Super PACs are now the thing.

  • Northland10

    He does have good sense of timing. On All Hallows Eve, the long dead zombie corpse of the Super Duper Citizen’s Grand Jury will rise and for one night, again wander the Earth. At least for one night, they might even blend in.

  • Jane Whitman

    Organizing citizen’s grand juries is good work, if you can find it. It’s not so much the pay; it’s the creative, intelligent people you get to work with.

    I think this is a good career move for Larry. It’s hard to make a go of it with the malpractice of birtherlaw these days. His specialty (paying other people’s legal fees) gets expensive once the appeals run out.

    Good luck, Larry!

    p.s. The key to minimizing expenses in the CGJ field is to work out of the nearest Denny’s. Nothing draws jurors and witnesses better than a double grand (jury) slam in the mid-afternoon.

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter


      Oh, that was sooo harsh! LOL! Plus, not having a judge or opposing counsel will make it much easier for him to win.

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

      • Jane Whitman

        Yes indeedy. It’s a great way to declare yourself a winner. 🙂

        It’s almost as much fun as getting one of those packages that print official looking documents so you can generate certificates of appreciation and awards to yourself. They have fake parchment paper with fancy borders and nifty golden seals you can paste on. I think the frames are extra, though.

  • Monkey Boy

    Man, this forum is boring without ex animal to slap around. All sensible people agreeing with each other is no fun. Twinky_Ike is only good for trading insults with.

    Oh, where is borderraven?

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