Tag Archives: Arizona

Witless For The Prosecution??? (Or, Sheriff Joe Flops With The Prosecutor)

They Couldn’t Believe The Crap Sheriff Joe Was Trying To Pull

Well, a Birther wrote one of those “Open Letters” to the Maricopa County Prosecutor Bill Montgomery, and here is the answer. The original letter, and other information is at the link below.

Dear Mr. Reilly,

Thank you for taking the time to write and for the concerns you have expressed. There are a couple of points of analysis, though, in determining whether a criminal charge can be filed, regardless of the charge or who the suspect might be. The first is whether I have jurisdiction over the case. That requires that some conduct had to have occurred in Maricopa County for me to have jurisdiction. From the Sheriff’s Office investigation into suspect documents produced by the White House to date, that investigation has not revealed any evidence that conduct occurred in Maricopa County. I have discussed this with the Sheriff. As for any issues regarding qualifications or information provided regarding the Presidential Election itself, that is a statewide election. Under Arizona law, the Secretary of State and the Attorney General have jurisdiction over statewide elections. I do not.

I will share with you, as well, that the criminal statute you cited in your message requires additional evidence that the MCSO investigation to date has not uncovered. Specifically, we would need evidence to affirmatively prove that Mr. Obama is not a US citizen. To date, there has been evidence presented leading to speculation that documents have been forged and other documents do not exist. That alone, though, is not sufficient evidence to present to a grand jury and actually have a reasonable likelihood of conviction. I cannot speak for other prosecutors at the state level around the rest of the country or for prosecutors at the federal level but Arizona?s ethics rules do not permit prosecutors to file a charge they can only hope to be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt at a later stage.

I stand ready and willing, however, to review any case submitted for charges and, if the evidence is there, I will prosecute regardless of who the suspect/defendant may be.


Bill Montgomery
Maricopa County Attorney


Birthers should not be surprised that there is insufficient evidence for prosecution. I patiently explained this to them in a previous  Internet Article:

Others, like Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. and numerous Freeper Birfers, are filled with indignation because the saner part of the universe simply ignores Arpaio and the Cold Case Posse’s claims of forgery. Sooo, I have decided to deconstruct the issue and get down to specifics. First, let us get a workable definition offorgery. This one, from the Free Legal Dictionary, seems typical:

The creation of a false written document or alteration of a genuine onewith the intent to defraud.

Forgery consists of filling in blanks on a document containing a genuine signature, or materially altering or erasing an existing instrument. An underlying intent to defraud, based on knowledge of the false nature of the instrument, must accompany the act.

Since the word defraud is used twice, let’s define that word also, from the same source:

[T]o use deceit, falsehoods, or trickery to obtain money, an object, rights or anything of value belonging to another.

Legally, any erroneous information would have to have been put in, or altered,  with the intent to defraud, so that simple clerical errors or harmless mistakes would not constitute forgery. For example, if a clerk penciled in the number “9″ for the Father’s Race, when the correct code should have been “2″, there is no forgery.  Mainly, because there was no evil intent and no one is being defrauded of anything.

I would submit that Sheriff Joe, Deputy Zullo, The Cold Case Posse, Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, and other Birthers have completely and utterly failed to prove any of the elements of a forgery claim. Not only have they failed to substantially prove any of the forgery elements, they have not even made a credible  allegation of any element of forgery.


In other words. . .


Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is Tyrone Power and Marlene Dietrich from the 1957 film, Witness For The Prosecution. Wiki says, in part:

Witness for the Prosecution is a 1957 American courtroom drama film based on a short story (and later play) by Agatha Christie dealing with the trial of a man accused of murder. The first film adaptation of this story, it stars Tyrone Power (in his final screen role), Marlene Dietrich, and Charles Laughton, and features Elsa Lanchester. The film was adapted by Larry Marcus, Harry Kurnitz and the film’s director Billy Wilder.

Note 2. Bio. Mr. Montgomery’s bio can be found here:


Note 3. The Image Easter Egg. Marlene Dietrich became famous in the 1930 film, The Blue Angel. Arpaio blew (messed up) his angle ( a biased way of looking at or presenting something) by failing to find any false information on the long form image.



Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney???

The Jury Simply Wasn’t Buying Klayman’s Theory Of The Case

A few weeks ago  Larry Klayman, Esq. had a “Butterdezillion Moment.”  He decided when Alvin Onaka, Ph.D, the Hawaiian State Registrar verified to Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett  that “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files“,  Onaka was actually failing  to verify that information.

(Click on Image to Enlarge.)

The above blurb was taken from Klayman’s August 29, 2012 letter to DNC General Counsel Robert Bauer, Esq.. (See Note 1 below for a pdf copy of the Arizona Requests and the Hawaiian Verification, and Klayman’s letter to Bauer.) Klayman went on to add:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Let’s deconstruct this a little:

Onaka States:  “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”

Klayman Responds: Onaka was asked to verify the birth facts for Barack Hussein Obama that are claimed on the birth certificate posted on the White House website and pointedly failed to do so.

Klayman Responds: Mr. Onaka undeniably failed to verify that the image posted at whitehouse.gov “is a true and accurate representation of the original record in [the DOH] files.”

Klayman falls into the same tar pit of confusion that Birther Butterdezillion fell into. In fact, I think Klayman is using her journey into illogic as his starting point. Referencing the full pdf copies of the Arizona requests, and Onaka’s Verification below,  Ken Bennett made 3 separate requests. First, he filled out a Verification Request Form which had 6 items of identifying information typed in. Then, he requested verification of 10 separate pieces of information, and finally a blanket request that the White House long form image was a true and accurate representation of the original file.

Without going too deeply into the mechanics of the situation again, all 3 requests were verified. The first request was answered by the Verification itself. As Hawaii law states (See full statute in Note 2 below.):

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

The 6 typed in items were stated by Ken Bennett, the applicant, and thus confirmed by the Verification itself, as emphasized by the first 2 items on Onaka’s list.  The second request covering 10 items of information was specifically verified as items 3 through 12 on Onaka’s list. Finally, Onaka specifically stated the White House image matched the records on file. All this can be seen in the Note 1 Arizona pdf.

What I want to do is look more closely at Onaka’s response to that last request:   “The information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”  I submit that if that statement had been the only response on the Verification form, that statement alone would have answered all three of Arizona SOS Ken Bennett’s request.

The reason is, that each of the 6 items typed into the Verification Request Form also appear on the White House long form image. The same is true of the 10 separate pieces of information for which Bennett requested Verification. If all that information is on the long form image, then in effect, these are “the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.” And, Onaka’s “verification  shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.”

Klayman, and his mixed–up mentor, Butterdezillion, are busily engaged in trying to wiggle and squirm their way out of Onaka’s Verification. Both are more concerned with what Onaka did NOT say, then what he did say. They try to pretend that there is some huge and legally significant difference between the phrases identical to and true and accurate representation of and Onaka’s phrase the information attached with your request matches  the original records.

In fact, the two of them argue that by NOT mimicking the exact words of the request, Onaka’s statement means the information has not been verified at all, and in fact is confirmation that the White House long form image and the original records are not the same at all. Butterdezillion has flittered off into the theory that “the word matches means that blank boxes equal filled-in boxes.” Klayman gets his little panties in such a wad that he fires off a series of indignant and foolishly threatening letters to the effect that the recipients darn well better not rely on Onaka’s statement:

the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches the original records in our files.

Oh really??? In actuality, Onaka’s statement provides exactly the proof that the various agencies and groups require. The long form Image that Obama posted matches Hawaii’s records. Only in Birfer World is that statement hard to understand. Which is very unfortunate for Birthers, because darned if that Slippery Onaka hasn’t gone and done it two more times!!! (See the Kansas and Mississippi Verifications in Note 1 below.)

Here is what Onaka said for Mississippi on May 31, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

and here is what Onaka said for Kansas on September 14, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Plus, Alvin Onaka signed off on all three of the Verifications with the same language found on the Mississippi Verification:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

In spite of all this, the Birthers remain convinced that there is something fishy about the Obama long form Image. If this isn’t DENIAL with a capital D, then there is no such thing as denial. And, the drunks are right when they get 5 DWI’s and still maintain they don’t have a drinking problem. No, this is about as slam dunk as you can get on the birth certificate issue. But I got to thinking about this, and since I don’t want to do like the Birther Blogs, and put one thing in my title something else in the article, let’s examine a hypothetical situation:    Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney!!!

From Larry Klayman’s Closing Argument in Bob “The Bank Robber” Beaumont’s Criminal Trial

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I want you to know how much I appreciate your time and attention during the course of this trial. We are almost finished, because this is really a simple verdict for you to bring back. The State’s entire case rests on fingerprint evidence, DNA analysis, and other tests which allegedly shows that my client,  Bob Beaumont, robbed the First National Bank. You heard Mr. Clyde from the State Crime Lab testify that he ran a DNA test on the wad of Red Man chewing tobacco the masked bank robber spit on the floor of the bank, as captured on camera.  Mr. Clyde says that DNA matches Bob’s DNA.

You also heard Mr. Clyde testify that fingerprints were all over the marked bills that were recovered from the robbery, and those fingerprints match Bob’s fingerprints. Mr. Clyde also said that a large quantity of human drool was found on those same bills, and the DNA on that drool matches Bob’s DNA.  And, Mr. Clyde, who thinks he is some kind of Match King, says that the fingerprints and DNA found on a gun and ski mask right outside the bank’s front door, matches Bob’s fingerprints and DNA.

And finally, Mr. Clyde testifies that a retinal scan from a hidden bank scanner, and a voice analysis from the bank video tape also match up with Bob’s post arrest retinal scan and voice analysis. Well, there you have it in a nutshell. The State has NO CASE whatsoever! Because when Mr. Clyde says all this stuff matches, he is not saying that all these things are identical! Nor, is he saying that they are true and accurate representations of anything.

Therefore, the State has utterly failed to meet its burden to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. As a matter of fact, by refusing to say that these things were identical, or true and accurate representations, the State proved beyond a reasonable doubt that my client IS INNOCENT! Those of you who were able to stay awake without suffering seizures during the testimony of our expert symantical witness, Butterdezillion Jones, know what I am telling you makes sense.

Forget what Mr. Clyde said during his sworn testimony!  The real question you should be asking is why Mr. Clyde didn’t use those phrases identical to and true and accurate representations.  After this is over, I am going to sue Mr. Clyde. If you 12 people don’t find Bob innocent, then I may sue you too! Remember that when you are back there in that jury room! And remember this:

If the fingerprints match, guilt must not attach!!!

That is how I see this whole thing.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Pdf Copies.

Arizona Requests and Verification

Klayman Letter to DNC Bauer

Mississippi Request For Verification

Mississippi Verification


Note 2. Hawaii Statute governing Verifications:

HRS §338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

Note 3. Links to Butterdezillion Articles:





Note 4. Link to relevant Larry Klayman article:


A Virtual Birtherfest!!! (Or, A Ticket To Deride)

Birther Judy, from Buckshot, Arizona, Was So Very Glad She Came

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am very disappointed that the Birtherfest planned for September, 22, 2012 had to be called off for lousy ticket sales. Falling on the Pagan holiday of Mabon, or Harvest Home, I was really expecting some fireworks. Well, I am just not going to take it lying down. Sooo, Girl Reporter Productions proudly presents:

                  The Virtual BirtherFest

Ring Master: First,  to get things off on the right foot, Mr. Pat Boone, doing his hit song Crazy Train:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that something else? And next, to introduce the Hero of Leavenworth, Col. Terry Lakin, and discuss Terry’s wonderful book, Officer’s Oath, is Texan LoneStar1776, aka Rudy Davis:

LoneStar1776: And now, here is Colonel Terry Lakin appearing from the studios of the The Manning Report:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that exciting!!! Now, the one and only Pat Boone, showing off another one of his many talents!

Ring Master: Wasn’t that hilarious! Let’s have another big round of applause for Pat Boone!

Ring Master: And now, a few words from Sheriff Joe Arpaio, courtesy of AMTV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that inspiring??? Now we have CitizenPatriot Tom Ballantyne with a brief speech from his gun shop:

Now, Mr. Pat Boone performing a medley of songs to entertain you:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that special??? Now, for our final speaker of the day, we have Hollywood Movie Producer Bettina Viviano appearing courtesy of WND TV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that scary good??? Now, all the speeches are over and it’s time for the  meet and greet and dance!

                       The End.

The After Party Report

Sooo, now everybody headed over to the hotel next door. All the City Birthers were having a good time, chilling, getting their groove on, and making their hook-ups for the evening when Country Birfer, who can’t afford a ticket, showed up and made like a giant buzz kill. He got drunk and started throwing furniture around, so management called the cops:

Country Birfer Underestimated The Drinks With The Little Umbrellas

Thankfully, the Cold Case Posse handled him, but then, just when the  party was getting back on track,  a rowdy motorcycle gang showed up:

The Leader Of The Pack Starts Picking On Sam Sewell

A drunk Pat Boone insulted their “leather” and challenged them to a fight:

Pat Boone Didn’t Have Any Brass Knuckles, But He Figured His Rings Would Work Just As Well

And the whole thing ended up outside in a giant mud fight:

The Birthers Had A Natural Advantage In The Mud

Birthers wallowing in the mud. How apropos!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Problems. Orly Taitz showed up and demanded to speak, but was told there was no way to fit her in. She is adding the organizers to her massive lawsuit as defendants. Be sure to click on the picture. It’s animated, in addition to having an Easter Egg.:

Orly Didn’t Believe There Was No Way To Fit Her In

Note 2. Link. Here is a link to the story about the cancellation of this event:


Note 3. Ticket & Refund Policy

Our policy is NO Refunds and NO Exchanges for tickets purchased either online or in person. Admission to this show is guaranteed for as long as WordPress hosts this website. Must be 18 years or older to attend, unless accompanied by an adult. The Birther Think Tank is not responsible for any brain damage caused by any of the material herein.

The Strange Universe Of Butterdezillion (Or, All Mimsy Were The Borogoves)

WARNING! Trying To Untangle One Of Butterdezillion’s Arguments Can Be Hazardous To Your Health!!!

Well, I have been putting this chore off for quite a while. I wanted to write something about Birther Butterdezillion  before, but to be honest, I was  just scared to death to start in on one of her arguments. The few times in the past when I attempted to untangle whatever point she was trying to make,  the effort ended in frustration, tears, and clumps of hair laying about the room.

I finally figured out this was because I was trying to discover where her logic had broken down.  But, that requires that you have some sort of logical trail to follow in the first place. With Butterdezillion, there is no “logic” or “consistency” as we know those concepts here on Planet Earth.  And, I do not mean this in a negative sense.

I am convinced that Butterdezillion’s Mind  partially resides in some other weird dimension where Time, Space, and Causality dance to the beat of different drummers. In her Universe, Alpha does not necessarily precede Omega. If does not precede then,  but instead, follows then. At least sometimes, because if if consistently followed then, then you could develop some sort of system to approach her work.  But for her, patterns seem to come and go randomly.

Much like Einstein back in the day, there are very few people on this Planet who can even conceive of what she is talking about, and most of those are institutionalized. I think when someone tries to follow her arguments, their axon and neurons and synapses begin to reconnect in strange ways never meant for humans. Play her games long enough and weird Lovecraftian shapes, with tentacles, start floating through the walls and ceilings.

Several weeks ago, before I tackled this project, I tried an experiment.  I remembered seeing an old Twilight Zone episode, where a little girl falls through an inter-dimensional hole behind her bed. She can’t find her way back.  Her father can hear her but not find her.  So, he calls a friend, and together they find the hole. However, when the men popped their heads through the hole it was like down was up, and then sideways, and then things moving left were really moving right.  Anyone entering the hole would be lost. So, one of the men tied a rope to the other, and went through the opening.  Her little dog, operating on some instinctual directional impulse, was able to find the child and guide her back to the hole, where  they all got pulled out just before the hole closed up.

This got me to thinking. Sooo,  I borrowed my mother’s  Shih Tzu, Gilbert, and tied a 25 foot electrical cord to his collar and began reading a Butterdezillion blog to him.  I put plugs in my ears so that one of us could stay in this dimension and operate the cord.  I tried to convince Gilbert to poke his nose up against the computer screen, but he did not seem to be interested in this at all. Although he did lick the screen once or twice.  But nothing apparently happened, so I took him home.

The next day my mother called and asked what I had done to Gilbert. She said he started having epileptic seizures and she had to rush him to the vet, who gave her some doggie Valiums.  For the dog, not her. Now whenever Gilbert starts seizing, she pops a half valium in his mouth and he calms right down.  I can’t prove this had anything to do with my experiment, but I do find this indirect confirmation that one should approach Butterdezillion’s writings with respect and caution.

Sooo, I am preparing by drinking some Franzia White Zinfadel wine and two Jager/Red Bull bombs, and then diving in. I figure the liquor will lubricate the axons and synapses so they can more easily slide back into shape when I return. I am also tying one end of the 25 foot electrical cord around my waist and the other end to a very heavy armoire so I can rappel myself back into this dimension.  Sooo, Here Goes!

First, here is Butterdezillion’s latest creation:


and here is a pdf of it, in case that becomes un-linked or her whole blog slides off into the 11th Dimension:

Butterdezillion’s Wheel Of Fortune v. Family Feud

Now the whole point of her post is that the recent verification of Obama birth certificate information by Hawaiian Alvin Onaka to Arizonian Ken Barnett doesn’t actually verify the information, but instead indirectly confirms that  the birth certificate information is either false or the whole birth certificate is legally invalid.

Here are the 3 documents that Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett sent to Hawaii. First is the “Form” request for verification, with 6 blocks of information filled in: (Click on all images to enlarge.)

Notice that this is a FORM request for a Certified Copy of Birth Record that has been hand modified into a Request for Verification In Lieu of Certified Copy. As part of filling out the form, there are six pieces of REQUIRED information that have been typed in relating to the actual Birth Record: (1) Name on Certificate (2) A block for Sex (3) Date of Birth (4) Place of Birth (5) Father’s Name  (6) Mother’s Name . There are other blocks that are filled in relating to administrative matters, such as the Name of Requestor and Address of Requestor.

Next is his Supplemental Request:

Ken Bennett wants Verification of 10 other pieces of information in addition to the six items on the above form, and verification of the birth certificate copy he attached.

And finally, since both Bennett’s and Onaka mention it was attached, a copy of Obama’s birth certificate:

Both Bennett and Onaka call the document attached to the Request, the “Certificate of Live Birth.”  The short form is called a “Certification of Live Birth”, so we can reasonably assume that the above document is the one attached to the Request.

In Response to these three items, Onaka provides:

Notice that Onaka verifies the long form birth certificate in its entirety; the 10 pieces of information on the supplemental request by specifically typing them out; AND certifies the “facts of the vital event.”

And, from page 1 of her Internet Article, here is the applicable Hawaiian law on the process of Verification:

§338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

Now, to a normal person reading this on Planet earth, it looks like Onaka just verified everything on the long form, which includes everything on the Request for Verification and the Supplemental Request. Additionally, Onaka specifically verifies the 10 pieces of information on the Supplemental Request. Finally, Onaka certifies the facts of the vital event, which were typed in the Request for Verification, and which occur in the exact same fashion on the long form attachment.

According to the law cited by Butterdezillion (b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.  Well, the applicant was Ken Bennett, and the 6 facts he stated were  (1) Name on Certificate; (2) A block for Sex, Male; (3) Date of Birth; (4) Place of Birth; (5) Father’s Name; and  (6) Mother’s Name.

By her own recital of law, the act of Verification is also certification of the above 6 facts stated by the applicant . Yet, Butterdezillion is neither happy nor convinced. The Verification of Birth, and the certification and verification of the facts of birth, simply do not agree with her preconceived notions.  And what is the source of her discontent???

It is this. Onaka did not specifically list the 6 facts above along with the 10 items on the form Request for Verification. It matters not to her that Onaka certified and verified the whole damn long form, which includes all that information. It matters not that Onaka specifically verified the hospital as the Kapiolani  Maternity and Gynecological Hospital. Perhaps in her wormhole universe, there is another Kapiolani Hospital in Mombasa, Kenya???

It matters not to Butterdezillion that Onaka included 2 more items in his specific verification, those being that a birth certificate is on file showing that Barack Hussein Obama, II was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. And this is really the only fact on the Birth Certificate that matters. Being born in Hawaii makes him a natural born citizen, end of story. Who really cares, as a political matter, who his father is outside of The National Enquirer and World Net Daily???  Finally, it matters not to her that Bennett, the applicant, stated 6 facts in his Request, and got a Verification, and that the:

A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

In Butterdezillion Dimension, not only is this not a verification, it is indirect confirmation that the birth certificate is legally invalid. Let’s put on our ropes and slip into her dimension for a moment:

On Wheel of Fortune contestants take turns guessing what letters are in a mystery word or phrase. If a guess is correct, all the tiles having that letter light up, Vanna flips the tiles to show the letters, and the contestant is closer to solving the puzzle.

That’s also how a Hawaii verification of birth works too. An applicant fills out a form, “guessing” the true facts of a person’s birth, and the HI registrar writes back verifying as true whichever “guesses” match what is on a legally-valid record. If the lights don’t go off on a particular “guess” it’s either because it doesn’t match the record or because the record it matches isn’t legally valid so the true birth facts cannot be legally known. The statute does not allow discretion for the Department of Health to simply ignore some items that were requested to be verified (emphasis mine):

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett filled out that web form (Exhibit A, attached at end of this report or all exhibits can be seen here) guessing that Barack Hussein Obama II’s true birth facts are what Obama’s posted birth certificate claims: gender = male; date of birth = Aug 4, 1961; city of birth = Honolulu, HI; island of birth = Oahu; mother = Stanley Ann (Dunham) Obama; father = Barack Hussein Obama.

HI State Registrar Alvin Onaka sent back a letter (Exhibit C) verifying that they have a birth certificate for Obama, but the lights didn’t go off for any of those birth facts Bennett guessed on the application. In an attached additional request (Exhibit B) Bennett asked Onaka to verify that an attached copy of Obama’s posted long-form was a “true and accurate representation of the original record on file”. Onaka wouldn’t verify that either but did verify that the birth facts claimed on the posted long-form matched the birth facts claimed on the original record at the HDOH.

Even though the claims matched, none could be verified as the true facts because the record on file is not legally valid. That is the logical conclusion. Dr. Onaka indirectly confirmed that Obama’s birth record is not legally valid.

Maybe I have been “in” too long, but I get the Wheel of Fortune analogy.  But what happens on Wheel of Fortune when you guess the hidden phrase??? Vanna turns over ALL the letters and YOU WIN!  Bennett got all the facts right, and his prize was THE VERIFICATION.  And just like the law says, [Onaka shall furnish] :

1.a verification of the existence of a certificate; and

2. [verification of] any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

First, Bennett gets – 1. verification of the existence of a certificate :

Here in the first 2 items, Onaka provides the Verification of Birth, As Requested.

And then, Bennett gets – 2. [verification of] any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate:

Here is where Onaka verifies the other information that the Applicant provides to be verified.

So, Bennett got everything he asked for.  He even got verification of everything on the Birth Certificate. I can not understand how Onaka can verify the whole dang long form birth certificate, and Birthers still think that something is fishy. What more could you possibly verify as being consistent with the records???  But I think I know what Butterdezillion expected and how it differed from what Bennett got. Here is what he got:

Here is what Bennett got.

And here is what Butterdezillion expected;

Here is what Butterdezillion expected.

Darn, is that a Smiley Face??? Anyway, time to leave Butterdezillion Dimension. If I start having seizures, somebody call my mother. I am sure Gilbert will share his stash with me.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is a construct made from Edvard Munch’s Ashes, which I found at this website which contains many very beautiful images of Knots In Art. Mathematicians take note!:


Note 2. All Mimsy Were The Borogoves.  I stumbled across this while researching nonsense language from Alice in Wonderland.  From Wiki:

Mimsy Were the Borogoves” is a science fiction short story by Lewis Padgett (a pseudonym of Henry Kuttner and C. L. Moore) that was originally published in the February 1943 issue of Astounding Science Fiction Magazine.[1] It was judged by the Science Fiction Writers of America to be among the best science fiction stories written prior to 1965 and included in the anthology The Science Fiction Hall of Fame Volume One, 1929-1964. In 2007, it was loosely adapted into a feature-length film titled The Last Mimzy.

Millions of years in the future, a post-human scientist experimenting with a time machine sends two boxes with hastily gathered batches of educational toys into the past. The first arrives in the middle of the twentieth century and the second in the latter part of the nineteenth century. Believing the experiment to be a failure when the machines and test objects fail to return, he discontinues his efforts.

The first box of toys travels back to 1942, and is discovered by a seven-year-old boy, Scott Paradine, who takes it home. The toys include a small transparent cube that visibly manifests the holder’s thoughts; a wire maze puzzle employing a fourth dimension; and a detailed anatomical doll that possesses unfamiliar organs and structures. As Scott and his two-year-old sister Emma play with the toys, the psychology of the two develops in unusual ways.

Although their parents are often preoccupied with their own lives, they suspect an anomaly and become worried. They consult with a child psychologist, Rex Holloway, who quickly recognizes the strangeness of the toys, and suspects their origin to be alien. Holloway surmises that the toys are “educating” the children and introducing an “x factor” into Scott’s and Emma’s thought processes. He believes their developing minds are pliable enough to be profoundly affected by the devices.

The toys rapidly guide the Paradine children to construct a pathway into the dimension where the beings of the future live. At Holloway’s direction their parents take the toys away from them; but the children continue their effort.

You sooo have to read the rest of this!!! It fits right in with the Motif:


Note 3. Link.  Here is the link to Butterdezillion’s Blog:


The Birther Cotillion (Or, Coming Out In Phoenix!!!)

No Matter How Hard They Tried To Pass As Normal, The Birthers Could Never Quite Pull It Off

Talk about deja vu.  According to Stephen Lemon’s blog at the Phoenix New Times, the Birthers are planning a gala event on September 22, 2012 in Phoenix, Az:

Here is a link to the full Internet Article, which is pretty funny:

Stephen Lemon’s Blog at Phoenix New Times

Many Birther Celebs are going to be there, including Pat Boone, who will probably sing one of his No.1 hits,  “I Almost Lost My Mind”  no doubt rubbing it in on Terry Lakin and other Birthers who, unlike Boone, went all the way.

Anyway, here is what I think is behind this event, besides the chance to goose Obama, rack up photo-fees,  sell books, and pick up votes and Birther chicks.  I believe the Birthers are trying to pass themselves off as normal and rid themselves of that crazy as a sh*thouse mouse stigma. Which rather colorful term is defined by The Urban Dictionary as “an incomprehensibly crazy person”  and warns the term is “not used to describe a spell of psychotic behavior. A sh*thouse mouse is permanently insane.”

Sooo, you put a famous singer up on the stage, along with a real-live big city (county) high sheriff, a film producer, and few people who actually wrote books. Now, the average Birther can pretend he or she isn’t really all that stupid after all.  After all, famous rich people who can read and write believe this Birther stuff.

That’s my take on it – – – a big coming-out party, where the Birthers can pretend to be sane and weasel themselves into polite society. If they can get Donald Trump, and few more generals and naval officers there, they may pull it off.  Look for the Tea Party people there to be totally upstaged by the wild Birthers.

Meanwhile, don’t look for Mitt Romney to be there. He will be face-palming himself along with Ann Coulter, Mark Levin, and Rush Limbaugh, while they pray for the Ghost Of Bill Buckley to rise from the grave and rid the party of these idiots. After the election.

This ought to be a hoot, particularly if  backwoods Birthers and Sovereign Sitizens show up drunk with guns, muskets, pink dildoes, and various artillery pieces.  The bouncers are sure going to have a time keeping Riff Raff out.

Hmmm. I wonder if the aluminum foil concession is still available???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Cotillion:  Originally a dance with prescribed routines and steps. Wiki says:

The cotillion is a type of patterned social dance that originated in France in the 18th century. It was originally made up of four couples in a square formation, the forerunner of the quadrille; in the United States the square dance, where the “figures” are called aloud by the caller, is a form of rural contredanse that also descended from the urban cotillion. Its name, from French cotillon, “petticoat“, reflected the flash of petticoats as the changing partners turned.

The cotillion, of repeated “figures” interspersed with “changes” of different figures to different music, was one of many contredanses where the gathered participants were able to introduce themselves and to flirt with other dancers through the exchange of partners within the formation network of the dance. By the 19th century, the cotillion evolved to include more couples with many complex dance figures.

In modern usage, a Cotillion is usually a highly formal coming out affair, again as Wiki says:

In American usage, a cotillion is a formal ball and social gathering, often the venue for presenting débutantes during the débutante season – usually May through December. Cotillions are also used as classes to teach social etiquette, respect and common morals for the younger ages with the possibility of leading up to a débutante ball.

Debut presentations vary by regional culture and are also frequently referenced as “debutante balls,” “cotillion balls” or “coming-out” parties. The male equivalent is often referred to as “beautillion ball”.

A cotillion or débutante ball in the United States is a formal presentation of young ladies, débutantes, to “polite society”. Wearing white gowns and satin or kid gloves, the débutantes stand in a receiving line, and then are introduced individually to the audience. The débutante is announced and then is walked around the stage, guided by her father who then presents her. Her younger male escort then joins her and escorts her away. Each débutante brings at least one escort, sometimes two. Many débutante balls select escorts and then pair them with the debs to promote good social pairings. Every débutante must perform a curtsy also known as the St. James Bow or a full court bow. This gesture is made as the young woman is formally presented. Débutante balls exist in nearly every major city in the United States but are more common and a larger affair in the South.

As a side note, pre-Cotillion virginity tests were phased out in the 1960’s for some unknown reason.

Note 2. The Image. This is a still from the 1975 film version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, where Dr. Frank-N-Furter shot the notion of natural born citizen all to Hell and back.  The tap dancer is “Columbia” played by Little Nell.  The Easter Egg begins with a line from “Hail Columbia“, also known as The President’s March and once considered a National Anthem, until 1931. Now, it is the entry music for the Vice-President. The actual part of the song goes, in tribute to George Washington:

When hope was sinking in dismay,
When glooms obscured Columbia’s day,
His steady mind, from changes free,
Resolved on death or liberty

Note 3. Bonus. Occasional Music from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, performed acoustically:

Ordure In The Court!!! Ordure In The Court!!! (Or, Van Irion Flings Poo)

Oblivious To The Odor, Van Irion Prattled On And On

Why is it that Birtherism just lends itself sooo readily to scatological comparisons??? Perhaps it is legal filings like this one, representing the Liberty Legal Foundation, candidate John Dummett, and others. The attorney is some cat named “Van Irion“, and he has been involved in several such eligibility suits.

Anyway, the Birthers filed suit in Arizona, and as Van Irion complains at ObamaReleaseYourRecords:

Rather than address the substantive issue of Obama’s eligibility, Judge Susan Bolton of the Arizona Federal court dismissed our case by claiming that the DNC’s act of sending a notice to the Arizona Secretary of State did not amount to purposefully directing activity toward Arizona. This ruling is absurd, as I discussed in last week’s message.

Here is the link where you can read the whole story:


Anyway, after the judge pushed the Birthers out of the window of her courthouse, they landed on the sidewalk below, picked themselves up, flicked the poop off themselves, and decided to appeal this to the 9th Circuit Court.  Thus, we now have before us their request  for a preliminary injunction to keep Obama’s name off the ballot in Arizona.

Here is a copy of the pdf filing for your convenience:

100% Pure Liberty Legal Foundation Poo

Let me try to give you a recap of the filing. A preliminary injunction is a request to keep somebody from doing something BEFORE you actually have a trial and judgment on the matter. One of the requirements is that you show you have a good enough legal case that you will probably win at trial. So here, the Birthers have to show the law supports their claim Obama is not eligible for the Presidency because he does not have two citizen parents.

But wait!  Haven’t the Birthers crashed and burned on this point like space rocks in a meteor shower??? Haven’t we seen them time and time again streak across the sky in a brief bright flash of light as they disintegrate in the upper atmosphere of a judge’s chamber??? Sooo, how in the world can Van Irion priss himself into the 9th Circuit and pretend he has any kind of a case???

Well, Van Irion pulls the old Minor v. Happersett trick out of the hat. First, he argues that Minor defined a natural born citizen as the child of two parents who are citizens. Then, to deal with the rest of the Minor case, where it clearly says there are some doubts from some authorities about the kids of non-citizens, and that there was no need to resolve those doubts at that time, Van Irion characterizes all that stuff as only concerning regular old everyday citizens as opposed to natural born citizens.

In other words, the same old Birther bullshit that we have been hearing for 4 years and the same old bullshit that has lost in court after court after court. And maybe I should be more polite and professional, and call it something besides bullshit. But you know, that is just what it is and frankly, I am tired of resorting to euphemisms on this stuff.  It is not good enough or smart enough to be called anything other than BULLSHIT.

Anyway, to continue, Van Irion then tries to skip past Wong Kim Ark by claiming everything in that case concerning natural born citizenship is pure dicta because Wong tweren’t  running for President. Once again, not even a clever attempt. The WKA Court determined what natural born citizenship was as a legal matter, to lay a foundation for its findings on the “jurisdiction” issue in the 14th Amendment. Which the WKA Court decided was simply being born in the United States, while not being a child of a foreign diplomat or invading soldier. Which fact about natural born citizenship was affirmed by the 14th Amendment.  And which was necessary to the finding, and therefore NOT dicta.

Then, to sneak his way around the 2009 Ankeny decision, which has been now cited with approval by subsequent state and federal courts,  Van Irion tries to go behind the Ankeny decision. He claims because the Birthers there lacked standing, the Ankeny Court had no business addressing constitutional issues. This is pretty stupid because Ankeny is an Indiana state decision and has no binding legal authority outside of Indiana, only persuasive authority.

Van Irion doesn’t even get a nice try on this one. You see, the courts which have cited Ankeny with approval, are not doing so because the decision in binding on them, but because the reasoning in the decision makes sense, and these other courts agree with the reasoning process. Van Irion fails to address the reasoning because that would raise all those troubling Wong Kim Ark findings. Plus, his argument would only apply to an action taking place in Indiana. Which this isn’t.

You can find all of Van Irion’s nonsense on pages 11-17 in the pdf above.  If you wish to read the Ankeny decision, which is based on the 1898 Wong Kim Ark decision, it has its own page above in the blog header under The Case The “Two Citizen Parents”  Birthers Just HATE!!!

To summarize all this, Van Irion has rolled another big wheelbarrow full of legal manure into a courthouse. I hope the judges come right out and say:

Ordure in the Court!!! Ordure in the Court!!!

and then sanctions the crap out of the whole bunch.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Ordure. A fancy word for manure.

Note 2. The Image.  This is the The Patient Job by Gerard Seghers (1591-1651).  Job is sitting on a dungheap. This was a popular  artistic theme and there are many paintings. It is based on:

Testament of Job 24-25 (excerpts from a lengthy speech)

At once, my wife drew near. Crying out with tears she said to me: “Job, Job! How long will you sit on the dung-heap outside the city, thinking ‘Only a little longer!” and awaiting hope for salvation?

Did The Cold Case Posse Dry Gulch The “Two Citizen-Parents” Birthers???

Accused Of  Shooting Hopalong Happersett In The Back, The Two Lawyers  Swore They Had Done Nothing!!!

One of the mysteries about Sheriff Joe’s Cold Case Posse (CCP), is who the posse members are. We know about Deputy Mike Zullo, part-time author, because he conducted the original press conference on March 1, 2012. And, from his prestigious reputation as an author. Or, more accurately, co-author along with Acting Deputy Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, who has a part-time job with World Net Daily:


What little bit we do know about the CCP is that it was composed of 2 lawyers and 3 private investigators. See the transcript of the news conference at lines 82-85, where Deputy Zullo says:

82    We put together a group of five individuals: three former
83    police officers, all with criminal investigative experiences from other agencies, as
84    well as being trained by the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office General Investigation
85    Division. We also brought in two attorneys so we could get some solid legal input.

Sheriff Arpaio News Conference Transcript

One of the attorneys is apparently Denise O’Rourke, Esq., who graduated cum laude from Whittier Law School in 1992.  We do not know who the other lawyer was.  Nor do we know whether or not the CCP took a vote from its members before releasing its findings, and whether or not there were any dissents. But these lawyers must have actually done part of their job properly and professionally, because the CCP has not said a word about the silly two citizen-parents Birther theory.

My assumption is that the two lawyers told them that theory was a bunch of hogwash and not to go there.  Because if they hadn’t, alleging that Obama wasn’t eligible for the office in the first place would have been some nice icing on the cake for Arpaio, Corsi, and the rest of the CCP.  An endorsement of the theory would not have been essential since the CCP is going down the birth certificate road, but they could have given a shout out to the Apuzzo-Donofrio-Kerchner type Birthers.

Ignoring the Vattel nonsense could just be the result of doing the right thing, or it could be that the two citizen-parents theory is so blatantly idiotic that the two lawyers were too embarrassed to throw out that particular mud-ball.  But what is really strange, is the deafening silence from the Minor v. Happersett Birther ideologues. You would think that they would be all over the CCP for not confirming their particular brand of  foolishness.

Maybe they are too caught up in the dizzying swirl of Forgerygate  to notice that they have been dry gulched, and left for the buzzards, in the Great Arroyo of Absurd Beliefs. But I predict they will soon awaken.

Enjoy the peace and quiet while you can.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the oater,  Outlaw Trail  (1944), starring Hoot Gibson.

Note 2. Dry-Gulch.

dry-gulch   [drahy-guhlch]

verb (used with object) Informal

1. to ambush with the intent of killing or severely mauling: The riders were dry-gulched by bandits.

2.to betray by a sudden change of attitude or allegiance: The party dry-gulched its chief candidate at the convention.

For an actual act of dry gulching which was related to a Court, and a judge, and legal differences, see this: