Tag Archives: crazy

Mike Zullo Gets Some Support???

Zullo Monkey Trial

Flanked By Fabia Sheen, Esq. and Squeeky Fromm, Mike Zullo Mugs For The Camera

Dr. Conspiracy recently offered Birthers a GOLDEN opportunity to speak up on behalf of Mike Zullo and his mouthpiece, Carl Gallups:

It was shameful, shameful, but very much in character for Gallups and his sidekick Mike Zullo. They are fine when they control the microphone, but they will not debate. They will not release their proof. They flee in terror from subpoenas where they might be cross-examined in court. They are liars and frauds and they know full well that their so-called evidence is a house of cards that will fall down from the slightest touch of criticism.

If you think otherwise, I offer you 1,000 words that I will publish on this blog, to make your argument to the contrary.


At the time of this article, no Birther has come forward to speak in Zullo’s defense. Now, I am one of Mike “The Arizona Kid” Zullo’s harshest critics. I mercilessly lambast him, and most other Birthers. But after no one came forward to speak on his behalf, that just seemed wrong. Sooo, I asked my BFF Fabia Sheen, Esq., an attorney, if she would take a stab at defending him. In return, I promised to treat her to Mexican food and Top Shelf Margaritas.  Here is a PDF of the Motion, where the formatting is better than you can get on the blog software:

Zullo Defense

And here is the cut and paste, which comes in at 540 words, well within Dr. C’s limits:


Comes now, the Defendant, Mike Zullo, by and through his attorney, Fabia Sheen, Esq. and in defense to the specific charges of Fraud, and other conduct in violation of 18 USC § 1343, including but not limited to lying, cheating, tampering with documents, frightening elderly residents of a nursing home,  providing legal advice while not licensed as an attorney, champerty and maintenance, and transporting Birthers across state lines for the purpose of providing false testimony, states that:

1. The Defendant hereby notifies the Court in accordance with, and pursuant to, F.R.Crim.P.12.2(a) et. seq., that he intends to plead insanity (A Mezvinsky Plea), as an exculpatory defense.

2. At all times relevant, the Defendant operated under the debilitating effects of a psychotic delusion.

3. The Defense does not, at this time, contemplate the calling of expert witnesses due to the open and obvious nature of this psychotic disorder, and presents a partial list of his erratic behavior, to wit:

a. The Defendant believed he was a law enforcement officer and the leader of a posse which traveled across the country, including several trips to Hawaii, to obtain information;

b. The Defendant believed that he was on a special mission to prove that then President Barack H. Obama was an illegal usurper in the office, who had obtained that office by means of a forged birth certificate;

c. Fantastically, while unable to obtain actual physical possession of the aforementioned document, the Defendant maintained he had proven forgery by the examination of an online image of the document; and

d. The Defendant blatantly ignored several communications with the appropriate Hawaii state officials to the effect that the document was genuine;

4. While the Defendant does not believe that expert testimony is necessary due to the overwhelming evidence of mental dysfunction, he does intend to present confidential testimony from a member of the aforesaid posse to the effect that:

a.  In addition to the victims, Posse members were also taken on weekly rides, via horseback;

b. On these excursions, which the Defendant called training sessions, Posse members were required to pretend they had pursued and captured such diverse characters as Billy the Kid, Doc Ock(sp?), and The Masked Forger;

c.  Posse members were provided secret Posse decoder rings and required to communicate through means of coded messages; and

d. Posse members were required to sign confidentiality agreements that they would keep these activities and others, secret.

5. These are obviously NOT the actions of a person in full control of their mental faculties and the Defendant prays this Honorable Court take judicial notice of this fact, since the Defendant has already spent all the money he surreptitiously obtained, and is unable to adequately compensate his attorney.

6. The Defendant, pleading now as a Third Party Plaintiff, further seeks permission to add as Third Party Defendants, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, The Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, Deputy Jerome Corsi, and John Does 1-100, to be named at a future time, for their intentional and reprehensible conduct in taking advantage of the Defendant’s impaired mental condition in criminal violation of the Americans With Disabilities Act.

For this, and all other just and proper relief, the Defendant earnestly pleads.

Respectfully submitted,

Fabia Sheen, Esq.

All in all, it is a very sad day in Birtherdom, when an anti-Birther has to pay a lawyer to defend one of them. But, that makes it an even happier day for a certain Girl Reporter who gets to drink Margaritas!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. A Mezvinsky Plea. Technically, there is no such thing. However, as Wiki notes, some do plead the insanity defense to fraud charges:

Edward “Ed” Mezvinsky (/mɛzˈvɪnski/; born January 17, 1937) is a former congressman. A Democrat, he represented Iowa’s 1st congressional district in the United States House of Representatives for two terms, from 1973 to 1977.
Mezvinsky was involved in a series of business transactions that ultimately led to his downfall.

In March 2001, Mezvinsky was indicted and later pleaded guilty to 31 of 69 charges of bank fraud, mail fraud, and wire fraud. Nearly $10 million was involved in the crimes. Shortly after his indictment, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but the judge at his trial disallowed a mental illness defense. He served his time at Federal Prison Camp, Eglin. Mezvinsky, Federal Bureau of Prisons# 55040-066, he was released in April 2008. He remained on federal probation until 2011, and owes substantial restitution to his victims.

In 2010 Edward Mezvinsky’s son, Marc, married Chelsea Clinton, daughter of former U.S President Bill Clinton and former U.S. Secretary of State and U.S Senator from New York Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Note 2. Procedural Rules.  Yes, there is a F.R.Crim.P.12.2(a)!

Rule 12.2 Notice of an Insanity Defense; Mental Examination

(a) Notice of an Insanity Defense. A defendant who intends to assert a defense of insanity at the time of the alleged offense must so notify an attorney for the government in writing within the time provided for filing a pretrial motion, or at any later time the court sets, and file a copy of the notice with the clerk. A defendant who fails to do so cannot rely on an insanity defense. The court may, for good cause, allow the defendant to file the notice late, grant additional trial-preparation time, or make other appropriate orders.

The rest of the Rule may be found here:


If you are interested, 18 USC § 1343 provides, in part:

18 USC § 1343 – Fraud by wire, radio, or television

Whoever, having devised or intending to devise any scheme or artifice to defraud, or for obtaining money or property by means of false or fraudulent pretenses, representations, or promises, transmits or causes to be transmitted by means of wire, radio, or television communication in interstate or foreign commerce, any writings, signs, signals, pictures, or sounds for the purpose of executing such scheme or artifice, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both.


Dreams From My Real Fertile Imagination (Or, Wholly Moley???)

The Mole Poked His Head Up Long Enough To Ask, “Is This Ohio???”

Well, it seems that Director Joel Gilbert, who produced the sordid DVD, Dreams from My Real Father, is now mailing free copies of the DVD into Ohio and other places. But, the really fun story here seems to be down in the comments section at ORYR, as you will see later. However, first:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)


The story is at ObamaReleaseYourRecords, and the headline there is

Joel Gilbert Punks Media: Mails 1,000,000 DVDs To Ohio Voters; Million More Being Sent

Moles And Birthers Mix It Up In An Orgy Of Self Destruction

While the overall Birther reception is enthusiastic, there is one  Birther down in the comment section who is suspicious that this is a Double Reverse Whammy, and Gilbert’s whole point is to sabotage the stupid two citizen parent theory. Because, if Frank Marshall Davis is really Obama’s father, and not the guy from Kenya, then horror of horrors, Obama is a natural born citizen after all!

Isn’t this ironic? Gilbert invents this delusional conspiracy theory tale, and darned if his paranoid and delusional Birther audience doesn’t  start inventing their own. Birther Bog starts the ball rolling:

bog said…[Reply]
OK Listen up! Gilbert’s assertion of Obama having a different father is a cleverly disguised damage control in reverse. The true intent is to couple Obama with a father who is an American Citizen! This is propaganda to diffuse and negate the fact that Obama’s real father is not an American Citizen which therefor causes Obama to be ineligible! Think folks, think! Gilbert s a MOLE!

September 19, 2012 11:09 AM

bog said…[Reply]
Joel Gilbert’s DVD mailing blitz is propaganda to cause belief in Obama having a different father than the one that makes Obama ineligible to be President! Gilbert is a MOLE. Expose him! It may allow Obama to switch ships from the one which he is on currently. That one is sinking due to him not being a “natural born citizen” because of his true father being an Indonesian citizen. No one is contesting that fact.

September 19, 2012 11:26 AM

The Birthers Engaged In A Whack-A-Mole Hunt

Then, other Birthers join in the insanity, chasing down their own possible moles, frauds, and traitors, such as Martha Trowbridge:

@Anonymous at 4:17 PM

I’m afraid Mario Apuzzo, whom I consider one of the most principled lawyers working to uncover Obama’s ineligibility may have given Trowbridge’s idea too much exposure.

I personally became quite interested in her blog posts, but I now regret that because ultimately she chose to hold all her cards. Her long absence of late I think can only be understood as implying that she didn’t have any credible evidence after all.

If she had gathered solid evidence and possessed any integrity she would have released that evidence by now. She claims to have turned it over to authorities, I believe; however, that was months ago and no authorities have spoken up.

If she has remained silent in the hope that delaying the timing for her disclosure would produce maximum political leverage, I think she has waited a bit too long by now. The only possible advantage to be gained was arguably by waiting until Obama was the official DNC nominee–in order to prevent the Dems from having a quick fall-back candidate.

The nomination was two weeks ago and still Trowbridge remains silent. While I do not know her to be a fraud, I can now only assume for all practical purposes that she is.

Nevertheless, I am grateful for Gilbert’s film and glad it’s getting out. And, for that guy who is trying to say Gilbert is a mole, I would echo the sentiments of others: whether he’s technically eligible or not, simply proving that the White House website has published a forged Birth Certificate, which he continues to hide behind, should be more than sufficient to impugn him enough to utterly dash any hope he has of electability.

Martha, if you’re still out there and you still have secrets, don’t wait any longer. You are begging us to regard you as a fraud who deserves to be called out and dismissed as either horribly negligent or as one who seeks to subvert the cause of patriotism.

September 19, 2012 5:27 PM

and Birther John Doe, Sr. even digs up the Dead Breitbart to give him a whack:

John Doe Sr. said…[Reply]

“soetor hussein’s indonesian citizenship will soon be exposed by breitbart.”

If someone is looking for defense of Obama, I’d suggest Breitbart.com and not Joel Gilbert.

The Breitbart website apologized for revealing the 1991 booklet in which Obama described himself as born in Kenya. Breitbart said they thought he was lying….so, even if Obama tells the truth if he says the wrong thing….he is lying. That is how well the Alinsky demonization of “birthers” has worked.

September 19, 2012 1:24 PM

and Birther CanTone turns on Donald Trump and Karl Rove and gives his Pod People point and screech:

CanTone said…[Reply]
Well there’s only 6 more weeks to go. I really thought Trump would have said something by now. I’m sure Rove silenced him at the convention. But Trump doesn’t owe the GOP anything. I didn’t think hed mind embarrassing the R. Party. He knows what we do as does the GOP but I thought Trump would say it anyway. Looks like I was wrong. We are fucked.

September 19, 2012 7:18 PM

CanTone said…[Reply]
I’ve said before and I’ll say it again. I don’t care what they find. These judges are cowards and the (Karl Rove) GOP is happy to wait n see if they win in Nov. I think the GOP had rather lose than say anything. It’s up to us to do something. I’m sure someone will disagree. They always do. If enough people cared”like we do” maybe we could change things but sadly, not many care.

September 19, 2012 2:50 PM

I guess it is only natural that they turn on each. After all, they have met with defeat in every court challenge, and blaming the judges this many times comes off as silly. The Republican Party was so embarrassed that during its convention,  it crammed them in a dark closet with a flashlight, a blankie,  and a box of Fruit Loops and locked the door until the cameras went away. The September 22nd Birfapalooza couldn’t sell enough tickets to come off even in the Tea Party rich state of Arizona. Courts are beginning to assess them costs for wasting judicial time. And to top it all off,  they couldn’t even prevail in Kansas with a Republican-stacked board.

Birthers Turn To Dowsing To Find The Mole

While they are making some inroads selling the Birther silliness to the masses, they can not gain any real official traction. So there must be someone else to blame for all the losses. God Forbid, they should ever take a real hard look at their idiotic theories and suspicions.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Images.  These are from the 1956 Academy Award winning film in the Genre’d Confusion category, The Mole People. Here is a great place to read about it:


Note 2. Squeeky Suspicions. I wonder if the “Anonymous” in the Martha Trowbridge comment above is Mario Apuzzo, Esq.???  It has that “self-serving” feel to it. He bit on the Bari Shabazz thing, and then there was nothing. If it is him, he would do himself a service to openly renounce that nonsense, even if Martha asks for her Man of the Year Award back.

Note 3. Words: Mole:

noun /mōl/

A small burrowing insectivorous mammal with dark velvety fur, a long muzzle, and very small eyes

A spy who achieves over a long period an important position within the security defenses of a country

Someone within an organization who anonymously betrays confidential information

Eat Their Own. A reference to cannibalism, and mindless feeding. Here is a good Internet Article:


Note 4.  Another masterpiece of Birther legal theory which probably destroys Gilbert’s thesis of blood transmission of philosophical beliefs from father to son:

Anonymous said…[Reply]
Anon 2:03pm has it right. Citizenship is established at birth and not at conception. Assuming that Obama Senior was the legal father at birth, then it is his citizenship which was passed on to Obama Junior, and not that of the biological father.

September 19, 2012 6:31 PM

Doctor WTF??? (Or, The American Doctor Who)

Deputy Zullo Demanded The Doctor Tell His Children That Obama Would Become President In Five Years

Well, isn’t this something???  Deputy Mike Zullo of the Cold Case Posse done gone and used  his head as something besides a Stetson holder.  And you have to give him credit for thinking out of the box. He agrees that something is fishy with Obama’s long form birth certificate, because Dr. Sinclair never told his own children that he delivered the President.

I actually listened to the following link, and it is  pretty interesting if you like this kind of stuff.  Here is the timeline on the audio. Rick Wiles is the interviewer. If you like scary religious Anti-Christ stuff, and hearing about visions of Mt. Fuji erupting, then you can start at the beginning.  But if you want to skip all that and go straight to the Mike Zullo interview, then go to the 12:10 mark. If you want to skip right to the Dr. Sinclair stuff, then go to the 34:00 mark.


Here is what transpired, by my transcription:

Rick Wyles starts it off with this question: “What about the doctor that allegedly signed the birth certificate? You know, after the electronic file was posted on the White House website, the adult grown children of that doctor, who has passed away, said “We didn’t know dad delivered the President of the United States, he never told us.”

Mike Zullo: Well, and that’s true. And because we don’t think that happened either. You know, every signature on that document looks like it was lifted off of another one.

I gave you the audio timeline above. Now here is the Reality Timeline:

1961 –   Dr. David Sinclair signs the Obama long form birth certificate.

2003 – Dr. David Sinclair dies.

2004 – Obama is elected U.S. Senator

2008 – Obama is elected President.

Can anybody figure out why Dr. Sinclair may not have told his children he delivered the President??? Is there any intervening cause that might explain his reluctance to discuss this with his children??? I mean to me, the answer is pretty obvious, but what do Birthers think, that maybe Dr. Sinclair faked his own death and his children are in on it??? Because unless he did fake it, the only other answer is that Dr. Sinclair can zip around in time like Doctor Who.

To be fair to Deputy Zullo, it was Rick Wiles who asked the stupid question. But Zullo has supposedly lived and breathed this case for over a year now. Surely a semi-competent investigator would know the timeline well enough to have given the correct answer, “Well, Rick, actually Dr. Sinclair died several years before Obama became President.” I am not expecting Zullo to have the hour and minute of Sinclair’s death in his head, but surely it is not asking too much to know there was a 5 year gap.

But playing along with the Wiles and Zullo Show, wouldn’t this have been a great follow-up question by somebody calling in:

Anonymous Caller: Well, Deputy Zullo, why didn’t you and the Cold Case Posse take Dr. Sinclair into custody back in 2003, before he died??? This witness could have blown the whole thing wide open!!!

I would love to hear the answer to that one, and why this scene below DID NOT happen:

The Cold Case Posse Attempted To Arrest The Doctor For Illegal Clockfighting

My advice to Zullo – – – “Whatever you do, DON’T THINK!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1966 episode of Doctor Who called, The Gunfighters. Some call this the worst Doctor Who episode ever, while others see it in a different light. Coincidentally, it takes place in ARIZONA. There is some identity confusion going on. And, Doctor Who meets Doc Holliday, a dual-professional who had both a Dental and a Gunfighter license. (Having practiced his craft before many bars in many states.) There is even a dental scene in the episode:

He Quickly Regretted Quipping. . . I Hear You Have A Lot Of Pull In Tombstone, Doc Holliday.

Wiki has a lot to say about this episode:

The Gunfighters is the seventh serial of the third season in the British science fiction television series Doctor Who, set in 19th Century America on the days leading up to the famous Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. This serial was first broadcast in four weekly parts from 30 April to 21 May 1966 on BBC1.

In the frontier town of Tombstone, Arizona, the troublesome Clanton brothers, Ike, Phineas and Billy, are in town in search of Doc Holliday to settle an old score over the death of another brother called Reuben. They meet up with their hired hand Seth Harper at the Last Chance Saloon. He knows what Holliday looks like and describes his coat and demeanour. This is overheard by bar singer Kate, who lets her paramour Holliday know he is in danger.

The TARDIS has arrived in a nearby stable, with the Doctor in agony from toothache. He and his companions Steven Taylor and Dodo Chaplet, dressed as cowboys, soon encounter local marshal Wyatt Earp, who offers them his protection and warns them to keep their counsel. The Doctor finds the dentist – Holliday himself – while Dodo and Steven book rooms at the local hotel. There they are mocked by the Clantons, who suspect the Doctor they refer to is Holliday himself.

Spoilers! More at the links:




Note  2. “Whatever you do, DON’T THINK!” is a word play on the scariest Doctor Who episodes EVER:

What’s Wrong With This Picture??? (Or, The Great Birther Bait And Switch)

Some People Swore They Saw An Extra Smiley Face In The Image

Well, I usually check out the ObamaReleaseYourRecords website every day to see what’s shaking in the Birther Universe. I have noticed lately that EVERY POST seems to have the same message buried in it, right before the Kerchner Krap  scribd stuff.  Below is a screenshot of part of that message: (Click on the Image to enlarge it.)

Here is the link to this particular example:


Outside of the advertising for Kerchner’s Art2SuperPAC  aka POOPpac did anything else in there  get your attention??? Maybe a little something that doesn’t make sense? Here, let me make it easy:

If someone has DOCUMENTED PROOF of something, why are we being directed to an AUDIO link???   Why aren’t we being directed to a DOCUMENT???  Maybe not to worry. Some guy named Breitbart Reporter Charles Johnson has an audio sooo, let’s go there. Then, when you hit the link, you get taken to this: (Click on the Image to enlarge it.)

Uh, was ist los ??? Now, we get some stuff from Breitbart Reporter Wayne Allyn Root. Huh. . . is this the old bait and switch??? Wow, there sure must be a lot of those  Breitbart Reporters running around the place.  Wait a minute. What does that little blurby thingy say???

What’s with this smoking gun WILL BE stuff??? Doesn’t WILL BE mean that it will happen sometime in the future? Not NOW? Crap, am I just being jerked around or what?  Oh wait, there is a video and an UPDATE BELOW VIDEO. Yippee!!! It’s been three weeks now since this article was first posted. Maybe they have managed to get the documentation together in the meantime???

Nope. No such luck. The first video is some radio talk show conversation between Wayne Allyn Root and Joe Pags. Blah, blah, blah, blah, and NO DOCUMENTATION.

The next two videos are of Wayne Allyn Root again, with Sean Hannity, and there is the same  blah, blah, blah,blah, and NO DOCUMENTATION. Don’t waste your time on the first two videos. The final 3:07 video tells the whole story. You wanna guess what the DOCUMENTATION is that Obama is an Indonesian citizen??? Sit down, because you may collapse in laughter, or shocked disbelief.


Yes, this whole stupid, frigging bunch of repetitious crap about  DOCUMENTATION comes down to Wayne Allyn Root’s HUNCHES and GUT INSTINCT that something is wrong.  Watch the whole thing below, but particularly the part at 2:05, where Root says:

I’m being honest. I don’t know. It’s a gut instinct.

Sooo,  to recap this, CDR Kerchner and the Birthers are going around telling people they have DOCUMENTATION and the documentation is just some clown’s GUT INSTINCT and HUNCH.  I still don’t know who Breitbart Reporter Charles Johnson is, and the links all go to Wayne Allyn Root stuff.  Did Wayne Allyn Root illegally usurp Charles Johnson’s identity???  Who knows?

Maybe they should have used this title:

Breitbart Reporter has a gut instinct hunch that Obama is Indonesian Citizen.

Somehow, I don’t think it would have mattered much to the Birthers if they had. It is sad to watch supposedly rational people wallow around in nonsense like this.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the wonderful and bizarre  1953 documentary film by Ed Wood, Glen or Glenda.  Wiki says, in part:

Wood’s big break came in 1953 when he was hired by producer George Weiss to make an exploitation film, I Changed My Sex, based on the life of transsexual Christine Jorgensen. After Jorgensen refused to collaborate on the film, Wood wrote a new autobiographical screenplay titled Glen or Glenda, a sincere and sympathetic study of transvestism. Wood directed and, using the alias Daniel Davis, played the titular character who has a fetish for cross-dressing and angora sweaters.[Which explains the Image Easter Egg.]

Glen or Glenda, shot in just four days for $26,000, was done in a semi-documentary style. Narration and voice-over dialog was added to generous amounts of film-library stock footage (a cost-saving trick he used in his later films).  Bela Lugosi, who was not told the film was about a transvestite, was paid $1,000 in cash for one day of filming. In a dark haunted-house set, speaking in metaphors and nursery rhymes, he played a portentous, omnipotent narrator.

The centerpiece of the film is a 15-minute fantasy sequence that illustrates Glen’s tormented state of mind. Wood utilizes a barrage of surreal, dream-like vignettes with personalized symbolism. Producer George Weiss also inserted footage of flagellation and bondage, reminiscent of the fetish films of Irving Klaw, from another production. In this sequence, Barbara is pinned beneath a large tree (in her living room), and Glen rescues her; they are married with the Devil acting as best man; a shirtless man vigorously flogs a woman reclining on a couch; lewd burlesque dancers gyrate to blaring jazz music and tear at their clothes; a woman gagged and bound to a yoke-like pole is untied by another gagged woman; a lust-crazed man roughly assaults a seductress in a flimsy negligee; an enraged Glenda rips Barbara’s blouse to shreds after she laughs at his appearance. Bela Lugosi appears in several scenes also rejecting Glenda and repeating the phrase “snips and snails and puppy-dog tails”. The film was released under several regional titles such as Transvestite, I Led Two Lives, and He or She?.

Note 2. Bait and Switch. A less than scrupulous sales tactic. Wiki explains the strategy:

Bait-and-switch is a form of fraud, most commonly used in retail sales but also applicable to other contexts. First, customers are “baited” by advertising for a product or service at a low price; second, the customers discover that the advertised good is not available and are “switched” to a costlier product.

Wiki also explains that there is a non-retail use of this tactic, for example:

Online dating sites have been known to post fake profiles as a way of enticing people to join; in some cases, employees of the site’s parent company send messages via a sockpuppet in order to encourage non-paying users to upgrade so they can message back.

Let me add to that non-retail use:

Birther websites are well known to promote new theories and put forth new facts, to reel in the unsuspecting individuals.  While either false or unsupported by evidence, these new discoveries are loudly touted across the Birther websites, and the converts get so caught up in the hoopla that they forget to critically examine the information.

Note 3. The Follow The Links Game! If you have a few minutes, start clicking on the various links in the Breitbart Reporter story above and watch how you get shuffled around to the same stuff, time and time again. It is amusing, in sad way.

Gordon of Khartoon Falls!!!

In Contrast, The Court Left Gordon No Wiggle Room Whatsover

Well, Gordon “The Sage of Swampy Acres” Epperly got the judicial heave-ho up in Alaska. We have written about Gordon before and his foolish Birther/Sovereign Citizenish antics. Links to those Internet Articles are in the notes below. Anyway, Gordon filed another one of silly cartoonish lawsuits, which got removed to Federal Court. That Court, own its own motion, threw the garbage out. Allegedly, even hungry Polar Bears are avoiding it for the odor.

In the suit, Gordon alleged that blacks and women could hold not certain offices for constitutional reasons:

The year 2010 national elections for the government of the United States have come and gone with several Woman [sic], and other individuals who are not white Citizens, having been elected or appointed into the Offices of the Congress, President, Judicial Courts, and several Executive Offices of the government for the United States of America. All these individuals are “Usurpers of Office” for they have no “Political Privileges” (Rights) under any provision of the United States Constitution to hold a Pubic Office for the United States government under the qualification Clauses of Article I, Article II, and Article III of the United States Construction.

The question presented, since the [purported] adoption of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, does a Woman or any none [sic] white citizen have “Political Privileges” to be elected into or appointed into Pubic Offices of the government for the United States of America?3.

Well, it was a short and sweet little five page Order. Somebody named Jack Ryan at the Fogbow put the order on scribd, so this is a big Thank You! to him and them for putting this stuff on line.  Here is another excerpt:

Frivolous Claims

“[A] complaint . . . is frivolous where it lacks an arguable basis either in law or in fact.” “Factual frivolousness includes allegations that are clearly baseless, fanciful, fantastic, or delusional.” Moreover, “a complaint must contain sufficient factual matter, accepted as true, to ‘state a claim to relief that is plausible on its face.’“11 In conducting a review of the pleadings of a self-represented plaintiff, the court is mindful that it must liberally construe the pleadings and give the plaintiff the benefit of the doubt.  Before the court may dismiss Mr. Epperly’s case, the court must provide him with a statement of the deficiencies in the complaint and an opportunity to amend, unless it is clear that amendment would be futile. In this case, amendment would be futile. Mr. Epperly’s claims are implausible and frivolous.

This court will, therefore, dismiss this case.

Therefore, IT IS HEREBY ORDERED [DISMISSED with prejudice;]

Here is a link to the scribd page. It is short and well worth the read, to get all the nuances:


And here is a pdf in case you have problems getting scribd to run right:

Gordon Order

Sooo, Gordon of Khartoon must now mush off back to Swampy Acres. Pubic offices are safe for the time being. Six months of Night are coming soon, and Gordon will no doubt sit in the long winter night typing up some more nonsense to file come Spring.  If not sooner.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1966 movie, Gordon of Khartoum, starring Charlton Heston. I found it at this fascinating website!


As far as me shamelessly stealing the “navel gazing” line for the Image Easter Egg, uh, uh, I am sure I would have thought of it eventually. Maybe.  Right? You believe me, don’t you? Oh. . . OK, I stole it.

Note 2. Navel Gazing. Aka omphaloskepsis: literally, the contemplation of one’s navel, which is an idiom usually meaning complacent self-absorption or excessive focus on oneself; introspection.

Note 3. Gordon of Khartoum: Wiki says:

Major-General Charles George Gordon, CB (28 January 1833 – 26 January 1885), also known as Chinese Gordon, Gordon Pasha, and Gordon of Khartoum, was a British army officer and administrator.

He saw action in the Crimean War as an officer in the British army, but he made his military reputation in China, where he was placed in command of the “Ever Victorious Army”, a force of Chinese soldiers led by European officers. In the early 1860s, Gordon and his men were instrumental in putting down the Taiping Rebellion, regularly defeating much larger forces. For these accomplishments, he was given the nickname “Chinese” Gordon and honours from both the Emperor of China and the British.

He entered the service of the Khedive in 1873 (with British government approval) and later became the Governor-General of the Sudan, where he did much to suppress revolts and the slave trade. Exhausted, he resigned and returned to Europe in 1880.

Then a serious revolt broke out in the Sudan, led by a Muslim reformer and self-proclaimed Mahdi, Muhammad Ahmad. Gordon was sent to Khartoum with instructions to secure the evacuation of loyal soldiers and civilians, and depart with them. After evacuating about 2,500 British civilians he retained a smaller group of soldiers and non-military men. As an ardent Christian evangelist he was determined to stand up to the Mahdi, his Muslim nemesis. In the build up to battle the two leaders corresponded attempting to convert the other to their respective faiths, but neither would comply. Besieged by the Mahdi’s forces, Gordon organized a city-wide defence lasting almost a year that gained him the admiration of the British public, though not the government, which had not wished to become involved (as Gordon had known before setting out). Only when public pressure to act had become too great was a relief force reluctantly sent. It arrived two days after the city had fallen and Gordon had been beheaded.

Note 4. Gordon of Khartoon:  Gordon of Khartoon, on the other hand, has not done much but be a public nuisance.  While there are no reports of decapitation, he apparently makes little use of his head.  He has earned two Internet Articles here:




One Nice Thing About Sheriff Joe Arpaio

From The Way The Hay Was Loaded, His Experts Assured Him There Was Definitely A Needle In There Somewhere

Well, it occurred to me that I am always saying bad things about the Birthers, poking fun at them, and hurting their feelings. If I am not careful I will probably become cynical and mean over time. Sooo, I figure every once in a while I ought to say something nice about the Birthers just to keep in practice. This is not going to be easy, but here I go.

ONE NICE THING about Sheriff Joe Arpaio is that he is NOT one of those stupid, idiotic, delusional, brain-dead, lying, quack-lawyer, dumb a$$, two citizen parents Birthers who goes around spouting off that God Awful silly drivel about Emerich de Vattel and citing ridiculous pre-Wong Kim Ark cases while pretending that Minor v. Happersett is precedent and ignoring all the current case law, and insulting my intelligence in the process, like some kind of moronic, mindless, lobotomized DORK!!!

Whew. I feel better already. I need to do this more often. It is good for the soul.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

To Judson Phillips – Yes, Maniacs Scare Sane People!!!

Strangely, Godzilla Could Never Rise Above 5% In The Polls

Well, this is a really dumb Internet Article by Judson Phillips. Here are a few excerpts:

Anyone want to scare the left?  It can be fun.    Do you want to see liberals running and screaming like kids frightened by scenes at a Halloween haunted house?

There is one issue that terrifies the left.   This one issue gets them in such a lather that it is fun to watch.  It is also revealing that they are so terrified by the issue too.

What is it?

The birther issue is gold for conservatives.  As I have mentioned before. If Obama can be proven to have been ineligible for President, everything he did as President is void.


He even asks this question:

The birther issue sends the left off the deep end.  Why?

Uh, Dude, people are scared sh*tless of MANIACS!!! Haven’t you ever heard of Hannibal Lecter??? Michael Myers escaping from the mental hospital on Halloween Night??? How about Jack Nicholson in The Shining??? REⱭЯUM, REⱭЯUM, REⱭЯUM. . . Here’s Johnny!!!

Did you ever go camping, and somebody tells the story about the one-armed, hook-handed, axe-killer maniac who just escaped from the Funny Farm??? How about the Joker in the Batman Movies and his escapes from Arkham Asylum??? What do producers turn to time and time again to frighten people – MANIACS of one sort or another. Cannibal maniacs. Serial killer maniacs. Sadistic maniacs. Whole families of  inbred Mutant Maniacs living in caves kidnapping travelers for food and procreation.

And, beyond the movies, where you were when Jared Loughner went bonkers??? Or the nut in Aurora, Colorado??? Do you really think people want a Maniac President and a Maniac Cabinet, and an administration full of delusional maniacs??? Sorry, but subjective reality is not real popular right now.

And make no mistake, Judson Phillips. Birthers are maniacs. Birthers are delusional. One group of Birthers thinks you can determine forgeries by simply examining online images and trying to figure out  how they were scanned into a pdf file. You don’t have to prove any information on the image is false, or materially altered. Nope. The scanning process itself is the Alpha and Omega of Birther Forgery Science.

The other group of Birthers is even more horribly messed up in the head. They can’t read one or two legal cases and properly figure out the standard for natural born citizenship. They can’t do it even with judges in multiple courts helping them out and telling them that the citizenship of the parents is irrelevant for people born inside the United States.

Nope. Just like the Jack Nicholson character above, they sit there obsessed and scribble the same nonsense over and over and over. They think all the judges and lawyers in the country are in on some conspiracy to cover up the truth that America’s laws are based on some 18th century Swiss guy’s writings about French Law.

Dream on, Judson Phillips. America DOES NOT want a delusional, obsessive, conspiracy theorist person sitting there with their finger on the nuclear button. Maybe some  maniacs might approve of that, but not mainstream America. Which makes me wonder why you want it???

Exactly which side of the padded cell are you on???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is Godzilla, of course. I did not use an image of Jack Nicholson in The Shining because I just recently used one of Hannibal Lecter.  The important point is that FEAR is not something you want to associate with your own candidate.  Rather, it is something that you want the voter to feel about the other guys. Think mushroom clouds here.

Gatekeepergate??? (Or, “Indirect Confirmation” SEALS Told Taitz To Go Jump In The Lake)

Remembering Her Mail Order Classes, The Talking Mule Slyly Took The Fifth

Well, following up on last night’s supposition that the phony “Obot”  email Dr. Orly Taitz complained about was actually a  “go jump in the lake” communication from Birther SEAL Larry Bailey, today we get this little hint from Dr. Taitz in her comment section:

Here is the link:


Here is a screen shot of yesterdays headline post at her website:

I feel strange using Birther Butterdezillion’s favorite term, indirect confirmation, but I think it applies here. Yesterdays “OBOT CLAIMING THAT HE IS E-MAILING ME ON BEHALF OF COMMANDER BAILEY” seems to fit in with today’s “Bailey has a gate keeper.”

And, her statement, “I am sure Bailey never saw anything we sent him.”  fits in with that line buried in the “Obot” email about “Subject: Please cease and desist”.

Here is the link to last night’s story if you need a refresher:


Yep, I would call that indirect confirmation.  Dr. Taitz is probably feeling pretty stupid about the whole phony Obot email thing, and feeling even worse because us Obots and Anti-Birthers know about it.  I bet the contents of that “Obot” email must be a doozy, but  we will probably never see what the Gatekeeper wrote.

Would it be too much to call this Gatekeepergate???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1952 movie, Francis Goes To West Point.  Talking and diving Mules have been the theme for all three of the Orly Taitz-SEAL stories here.

Birther Fest Takes Place On A Pagan Holiday!!! (Human Sacrifice Alert!!!)

No One Could Deny The Birthers Had Some Serious Talent When It Came To Building Straw Men

Well, isn’t this a symbolic coincidence??? The upcoming Phoenix, Arizona Birther Fest, or as I like to call it, The Birther Cotillion, takes place on September 22, 2012 – – – the Autumn Equinox. This is the day when the periods of daylight and darkness are equal.  From this point on, the days would grow shorter and shorter until the Winter Solstice.

This day had great symbolic meaning to the ancients. Wiki says:

The holiday of Autumn Equinox, Harvest Home, Mabon, the Feast of the Ingathering, Meán Fómhair or Alban Elfed (in Neo-Druidic traditions), is a pagan ritual of thanksgiving for the fruits of the earth and a recognition of the need to share them to secure the blessings of the Goddess and the God during the coming winter months. The name Mabon was coined by Aidan Kelly around 1970 as a reference to Mabon ap Modron, a character from Welsh mythology. In the northern hemisphere this equinox occurs anywhere from September 21 to 24. In the southern hemisphere, the autumn equinox occurs anywhere from March 20–23.  Among the sabbats, it is the second of the three pagan harvest festivals, preceded by Lammas / Lughnasadh and followed by Samhain.

There were different ceremonies to celebrate this special time of the year including building a really big Wicker Man:

Lucan, Julius Caesar, and Strabo wrote about a giant “wicker man” that was burned at harvest-time with victims locked inside. In or around Shakespeare’s day, illustrated books popularized the wicker-man; e.g. the Britannia Antiqua of 1676 (Fig.  2a; Curran 2000, 237), and farmers still burned small straw figures at harvest. ).


Thomas Tryon used the term above, Harvest Home, as the name of his 1973 book. The mythology there was based on The Eleusinian Mysteries, the rites of which also took place during the time of the Autumn Equinox.

The Ceremonies

The celebration of the Mysteries at Eleusis was an elaborate affair which took place over a period of nine days in the month of Boedromion (late September). For each day, there was a prescribed series of ritual actions that initiates were expected to follow in the proper order (Parke 53-72; Simon 24-35).

One day prior to the festival proper, a large crowd of participants would gather in Eleusis and proceed with much pomp to the sanctuary of Demeter in the Athenian agora. On the following day, 15 Boedromion, the actual festival would begin with a formal declaration in the agora announcing the event and inviting initiates to take part. From 16 to 18 Boedromion, the initiates would descend singly to the sea, each bearing a suckling piglet for purification and sacrifice.

On the fifth day of the festival (19 Boedromion) the celebrants would proceed in formal procession from Athens back to Eleusis, bearing the sacred hiera as well as a statue of the boy-god Iacchos. The latter deity, who personified the shouts of exultation that the participants would periodically emit, was identified at least as far back as the days of Sophokles with Dionysos (cf. Antigone, vv. 1115 ff.). This identificiation constitutes prima facie evidence of a very significant connection between the Dionysian and Eleusinian Mysteries.

The climax of the ceremony took place in the “Telesterion” (initiation hall). During the 5th century BCE, “Ictinos” designed a huge hall which would hold several thousand people. In this hall, the secret and sacred objects were shown to the initiated, and also the priestesses would reveal the vision of the holy night, which is thought to have been a fire symbolizing life after death. These rituals were kept secret, shown only to the initiated, and it was totally forbidden to speak of them publicly.

Thomas Tryon went ahead and made the jump between the deities, and while I will not do SPOILERS on the book, this jump introduced the Maenads into the Eleusinian Mystery Mix. This is significant because, as Wiki says:

In Greek mythology, maenads (Greek: μαινάδες, mainádes) were the female followers of Dionysus (Bacchus in the Roman pantheon), the most significant members of the Thiasus, the god’s retinue. Their name literally translates as “raving ones”. Often the maenads were portrayed as inspired by him into a state of ecstatic frenzy, through a combination of dancing and drunken intoxication. In this state, they would lose all self-control, begin shouting excitedly, engage in uncontrolled sexual behavior, and ritualistically hunt down and tear to pieces animals — and, at least in myth, sometimes men and children — devouring the raw flesh.


What all this suggests, is that celebrations during the Autumn Equinox can get a little out of hand.  Rabid mobs and drunken orgies. Killing small animals. Secret ceremonies. Crazy, maniacal women. Sacred fire rituals. (Burning crosses maybe???) And, Human Sacrifices seem to keep popping up.  With Birthers not exactly being well known for their common sense and impulse control, I would be very suspicious if somebody asked me to be one of the guests of honor at this particular shindig.

Sooo, the moral question is, should anybody warn Pat Boone???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: The Image.  This is from the 1973 movie, The Wicker Man.

Note 2. The Eleusinian Mysteries. Here is more of the above, with the source link:

Among the most disputed issues in the scholarship is the question whether or not the rites held in honor of Demeter and Persephone also included significant connections with, or references to, other important deities and cults.

Possible Connections of Demeter/Persephone with Other Deities

The prime example of an explicit, though esoteric, connection between the goddesses of Eleusis and a deity from another cultic tradition would be the ritual association between Demeter and Dionysos from at least the fourth century BCE onward . The evidence in this case is fairly strong. It is known that these two deities were honored in Athens and elsewhere as “paredroi” [partner deities] (Pausanias 9.8.1; 9.22.5; 9.24.1); less certain is whether this partnership status had any deeper significance. Pindar (5th century BCE) spoke of Dionysos as the god “of the flowing locks who is enthroned beside Demeter” (Isthmian OdesVII, lines 3-5).

The Orphics, who were widely influential and had their own Mystery celebrations, identified Dionysos-Zagreus as the son of Persephone and Zeus (Kerényi, 145, 148; Mylonas, 309). The Romans recognized a triad consisting of Ceres, Liber, and Libera, where Ceres corresponded to Demeter, Liber to Dionysos, and Libera to Persephone (Kerényi, 148). Stephanos Byzantios (6th century CE) recorded that the rituals in honor of Persephone were performed “in imitation of Dionysian happenings” (“Agra” 14). There is also a considerable amount of iconographical evidence, including pictures on ancient Greek vases from Attica and Apulia, testifying to a prominent Dionysian presence at Eleusis (Schmidt 162-65; Zuntz 407-11).


 Note 3: For an interesting Wiccanish read on Harvest Home, the holiday, see here:


Note 4. Straw Men. This is a sight and word-play reference to the Straw Man Logical Fallacy, about which Wiki says:

A straw man, known in the UK as an Aunt Sally, is a type of argument and is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent’s position. To “attack a straw man” is to create the illusion of having refuted a proposition by replacing it with a superficially similar yet unequivalent proposition (the “straw man”), and refuting it, without ever having actually refuted the original position.

The origins of the term are unclear. The usage of the term in rhetoric suggests a human figure made of straw which is easily knocked down or destroyed, such as a military training dummy, scarecrow, or effigy.The rhetorical technique is sometimes called an Aunt Sally in the UK, with reference to a traditional fairground game in which objects are thrown at a fixed target. One common folk etymology is that it refers to men who stood outside courthouses with a straw in their shoe in order to indicate their willingness to be a false witness.

Straw man arguments often arise in public debates such as a (hypothetical) prohibition debate:

Person A: We should liberalize the laws on beer.

Person B:   No, any society with unrestricted access to intoxicants loses its work ethic and goes only for immediate gratification.

The proposal was to relax laws on beer. Person B has exaggerated this to a position harder to defend, i.e., “unrestricted access to intoxicants”. It is a logical fallacy because Person A never made that claim. This example is also a slippery slope fallacy.

A Birther specific example would be:

Person A:  Obama was born in the United States, and his parents citizenship doesn’t matter. He is a natual born citizen.

Person B(irther): OMG!!! You’re saying Osama Bin Laden could have a kid born here and he could be president one day??? You are nutz!!!

Note 5. The  Links. All the above links are rather long, but they are fascinating reads. For those who don’t know anything about the upcoming The Birther Cotillion,  see here:


My Fair Loony!!! (A Parody Song For The Maryland Birther)

Ever Vigilant, She Decided To Carbon Date A Print Off Of The Online Image

This parody needs a little introduction. There are certain of the Birthers who exhibit really bizarre behavior. Even for a Birther. One of these usually goes by the online name of KenyanBornObamAcorn.  Her favorite trick is to go around “outing” Obots, and dispensing personal information about them. I am not sure what that  is supposed to prove, but it seems to make her happy.

I have encountered her on a few threads, here and there, and in my opinion, she has a loose grip on both the facts and the law, and is not  even up to normal Birther standards, which ain’t saying much.  She mostly just makes idiotic statements, calls a few names, and then heads for the hills before she has to defend the nonsense. Anyway, her current claim to fame is an eligibility suit in Maryland.  A case which sounds like it is headed for the bird cage liner factory soon.

To parody her, I needed a song which expressed her mindless anger, misplaced sense of grandiosity, and manic intensity.  Liza Doolittle’s piece, Just You Wait from My Fair Lady seems to capture this essence.  Just ignore Liza’s underlying charm, because KenyanBornObamAcorn seems to have none. A youtube video is provided below in case you don’t know the tune.

My Fair Loony
by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter
(A Parody Song To The Tune of “Just You Wait”,
from My Fair Lady)

Just you wait, B’rack Obama, just you wait!
Very soon the Court is going to set a date.
Oh, you’ll sweat, and you’ll start cryin’
When the documents are flyin’
Just you wait, B’rack Obama, just you wait!

Just you wait B’rack Obama, til you’ve met
A wee Precedent from Minor Happersett!
You will cry, and be annoyed
When your laws are null and void!
Oh ho ho, B’rack Obama, just you wait!

Ooooooh B’rack Obama!
I can’t wait to meet the Judge and dialogue!
Ooooooh B’rack Obama!
And he says to march you off  just like a Frog!

I won’t notice your boo-hoo’s
I’ll be on the evening news,
Oh ho ho, B’rack Obama!
Oh ho ho, B’rack Obama!

I will be so famous, World Net Daily will call.
At the Birther Cotillion, I’ll be Belle of the Ball.
The nation so grateful, awards for my toil
A lifetime supply of aluminum foil.

My face on a postage stamp will land!
As Birthers line up to shake my hand.
I never brag, or put on airs, or act too boastful
But I was voted once, the most likely to go postal!

A national hero, they will do what I ask,
Deport Obama, my very first task.

“Off, to Kenya! C.O.D.”
(I’m,  as happy as can be!)
Now, the Obots, oh so snarky and so mean,
Let them strut their stuff in Fema Camp 14;

We don’t need a new election,
I’m the natural selection
Oh ho ho, B’rack Obama
I’ll be Queen, B’rack Obama!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Just You Wait. Here is a video from the 1964 musical, My Fair Lady.

Note 2. Status of the Maryland Lawsuit.  Dr. Conspiracy has an update on her case, here:


Note 3. UPDATE. This is an UPDATE, to link to an excellent Internet Article by John Woodman which discusses the Maryland case, and provides a great example of the way Birthers tend to mis-analyze facts and legal issues.