Tag Archives: dismissed

Cheap Kentucky Birther Doesn’t Want To Pay To Play!!!

When It Came To His Wallet, Todd House Suddenly Knew His Rear End From A Hole In The Ground

The Obama Ballot Challenge blog reports that the Kentucky Birther,  Dr. Todd House, decided to drop his silly little DIY Birther lawsuit when the court told him he could end up paying for the other side’s lawyer.  Here is an excerpt:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)


You see, that is the thing about frivolous lawsuits. They’re only fun when you don’t have to pay for the other guy’s lawyer. The way things work with Rule 11, (See Note 2 below.) is that a party has this duty:

The signature of an attorney or party constitutes a  certification by him that he has read the pleading, motion or other paper; that to the best of his knowledge, information, and belief formed after reasonable inquiry it is well grounded in fact and is warranted by existing law or a good faith argument for the extension, modification or reversal of  existing law, and that it is not interposed for any improper purpose, such as to harass or to cause unnecessary delay or needless increase in the cost of litigation.

That is NOT a really high bar. All you have to do is have a sensible case based on a reasonable reading of the law. But Dr. House must have figured he stood to lose under this standard. Sooo, he exercised some good sense and got out while he was ahead. What this shows is that House knew darn good and well that he had filed a frivolous suit and just didn’t want to pay the price.

What a scoundrel and what a cheapskate. What was that sanctimonious crap he was spewing a few weeks ago (See Note 3 below.):

I am not a “birther.” I am a constitutionalist.

The Constitution either means what it says or is relegated to the dustbin of history. The U.S. Supreme Court has the imperative duty to resolve the issue of “natural born citizen” once and for all. This is an intellectual, legal and historical question that is very pertinent today.

Seasoned and brilliant legal scholars share sober opinion on both sides of this debate. It is, then, plainly clear that the U.S. Supreme Court should be presented this case so that a final answer can be had. My effort intends just and only that.

Yeah. Sure.  What really happened is that the little narcissist got some attention and then hauled buns before the bill came due.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is Milo Winter’s illustration of Aesop’s Fable about the Miser.

A Miser had buried his gold in a secret place in his garden. Every day he went to the spot, dug up the treasure and counted it piece by piece to make sure it was all there. He made so many trips that a Thief, who had been observing him, guessed what it was the Miser had hidden, and one night quietly dug up the treasure and made off with it.

When the Miser discovered his loss, he was overcome with grief and despair. He groaned and cried and tore his hair.

A passerby heard his cries and asked what had happened.

“My gold! O my gold!” cried the Miser, wildly, “someone has robbed me!”

“Your gold! There in that hole? Why did you put it there? Why did you not keep it in the house where you could easily get it when you had to buy things?”

“Buy!” screamed the Miser angrily. “Why, I never touched the gold. I couldn’t think of spending any of it.”

The stranger picked up a large stone and threw it into the hole.

“If that is the case,” he said, “cover up that stone. It is worth just as much to you as the treasure you lost!”

MORAL: “A possession is worth no more than the use we make of it”


Note 2. Kentucky Rule 11.

Kentucky Rule 11

Note 3. Link.


Vermont Saps At Sea!!! (Or, A Week Case???)

Frantic, Apuzzo And Paige Show The Washington Times National Weekly Ad To An Uninterested Judge

Oh My!  Vermonter H. Brooke Paige and his putative attorney, Mario “The Mangler” Apuzzo, Esq. nearly set a record for how quickly their Birther lawsuit seeking to keep Obama off the ballot got denied by the court. The lawsuit was filed on September 5, 2012 but did not hit the news until September 17, 2012.

Less than a week later, by Friday, September 21, 2012, Judge Robert Bent had already denied the injunction. These excerpts are from the Burlington Free Press:

H. Brooke Paige of the town of Washington had asked the Vermont Superior Court in Montpelier for an injunction to stop distribution of the ballots. Paige contends Obama is not a “natural born citizen” as required by the U.S. Constitution because his father was not an American citizen at the time of Obama’s birth.

“The court has been presented with a radically insufficient basis on which to issue a temporary or even a preliminary injunction,” Judge Robert Bent wrote in a four-page ruling issued late Friday afternoon. [Sept. 21, 2012]

Bent, however, signaled that he thinks there is little evidence to support Paige’s claim that Obama is not a “natural born citizen,” noting the jurists in a number of other states had reviewed that issue and rejected it.

“The myriad versions of the claim that President Obama is ineligible for office because he is not a ‘natural born citizen’ have been litigated throughout the country exhaustively,” Bent wrote. “They have never succeeded, usually on standing or jurisdictional bases.”

The full story is here:


I will post a copy of the 4 page decision as soon as it is available.  I am not sure if the case in chief goes on or not.  Paige seems to think it does. All in all, this does not speak well about Apuzzo’s legal abilities. The Article II Constitutional Expert’s opinion on natural born citizenship got disrespectfully whomped upside the head before the lawsuit was even served on Defendant Obama.  Shouldn’t an expert win a case every once in a while??? Anyway, I guess Mario Apuzzo needs to update  his Curriculum Vitae:

Apuzzo CV

As far as H. Brooke Paige, I wonder if he will say to Apuzzo, “Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!”

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1940 film, Saps At Sea, starring Laurel and Hardy. Wiki says about the film: Wiki says:

Stan and Ollie work in a horn factory, where Ollie is sent home after developing “hornophobia” and starts going crazy each time he hears horns or horn-based musical instruments. A physician (Jimmy Finlayson) is called to treat Ollie and, warning Ollie that he could develop a more serious condition, “hornomania,” he prescribes a relaxing boat trip and goat’s milk. Ollie dismisses the idea because he is afraid to sail on the ocean, but Stan prescribes an alternative: they will simply rent a boat and keep it attached to the dock, getting all the sea air they can while never actually going out to sea. When Stan’s trombone teacher arrives and Ollie hears the music and throws the teacher out, he knows he should take that advice.

Stan and Ollie rent an unseaworthy boat called Prickly Heat that is supposed to stay moored to the dock. An escaped murderer named Nick Grainger stows away on the boat to avoid being caught by the police. The goat which they have brought to provide milk chews away at the docking line and overnight the boat drifts out to sea. Nick confronts Stan and Ollie with a gun (which he affectionately names “Nick Jr”) and tells them to make him breakfast. They have no food on board, so they decide to prepare Nick a “synthetic” breakfast made up of string, soap and whatever else they can find. Nick spies on them and realizes what they are up to, and forces them to eat the fake food. Stan becomes inspired and starts to play his trombone. Ollie starts to go crazy and overcomes the criminal.

Here is a short clip, dealing with an “expert.”

Note 2. The Title. Saps is a reference to Vermont, which is famous for it’s Maple Syrup. But it also means a “sucker.” “At Sea” is an idiom which means:

(all) at sea (about something)

Figuratively, to be confused; to be lost, confused, and bewildered. (Alludes to being lost at sea.) When it comes to higher math, John is totally at sea.

The Caption, is a reference to the ridiculous ads run by CDR Kerchner, Apuzzo’s original Birther patron. The ads are full of false legal theory. You can always find them at ObamaReleaseYourRecords. Here is an example:

Bad Ad

Note 3. The Apuzzo Curriculum Vitae. This originally appeared back on April 1, 2012, here:


Susan, Desperately Seeking!!!

In Spite Of Appearances, She Was Definitely NOT An Egghead

Susan Daniels, P.I. is desperately seeking some more attention.  Her ridiculous lawsuit alleging Obama was using a false social security number got bounced out of an Ohio court on Friday, September 7, 2012.  For good measure she was assessed costs. (See pdf below in Note 2.) This was no big surprise. I did a post about her silly claims earlier. (See notes for link.)

But darned if she isn’t right back in there trying to start a criminal investigation on Obama by filing a moronic Affidavit. I think she has gotten addicted to all the fuss and bother and drama, and just plain doesn’t want to be out of the Birther spotlight, or headlines. The story is reported at ObamaReleaseYourRecords.  Here is an excerpt:

Private Investigator Susan Daniels Files Affidavit Seeking 
Criminal Prosecution For Obama’s Connecticut Social Security Number

. . . I filed an Affidavit (EMBEDDED BELOW) yesterday in Geauga County Common Pleas Court. I am asking the court to issue a complaint that Barack Obama has committed a crime and should be prosecuted for identity fraud. Section “D” of ORC 2935.09 allows me the right to file. …

The court had never seen a filing like this before and to say they were upset would be an understatement. Two women kept insisting that nothing could be filed without a case number on it and I kept saying: read the statute. They were not happy and one woman said: “I’ve worked here twenty years and have never seen anything like this.” Oh well, now she has.


There is a scribd of the Affidavit at the link, and a pdf in the notes below in case scribd doesn’t work right.  But here is a cut and paste job I did of the major allegations:

I bet she is right, and the people at the courthouse haven’t seen anything like this foolishness before. But do you notice that something is missing from the allegations??? Something kind of BIG and IMPORTANT??? How about like, who is the ANOTHER PERSON in sub-paragraph e??? How in the world can Daniels claim that the social security number is stolen, if she can not identify who Obama stole it from? Think about this for a minute.

She has no information from the Social Security Administration [SSA] which indicates it was stolen. Her only foundation for the claim is that the number has a Connecticut “area number”, without any backup for why it has that number. She provides no information about the inner clerical workings of the SSA. She can not discount the possibility that it was simply a typo on the zip code. In fact, the SSA clearly states that you can’t tie social security numbers into places of residence: (See original article for the link.)

Since 1972, when SSA began assigning SSNs and issuing cards centrally from Baltimore, the area number assigned has been based on the ZIP code in the mailing address provided on the application for the original Social Security card. The applicant’s mailing address does not have to be the same as their place of residence.   Thus, the Area Number does not necessarily represent the State of residence of the applicant, either prior to 1972 or since.

She is supposed to be a private investigator, and here she is with a social security number that she can’t link to anybody except Obama. Having someone’s social security number is the easiest way to identify them and find out things about them. Has she run any skip tracing software on the number? Has she checked with the credit reporting agencies?  Private Investigators usually have contacts on the police force and in government offices to run numbers like this for them. If she does, she obviously came up with NADA.  All of which means she has absolutely no basis for claiming the number is either stolen or misused. I hate to be mean, but considering her initial investigatory work, the lawsuit and the affidavit, she comes across to me as being pretty stupid.

This affidavit is nothing but another instance of farcical Birther Legal Theatre, and Susan Daniels, P.I. is out there hamming it up on stage for a few more minutes of attention.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is a woman entertainer in a wooden egg costume known as The  Human Roly Poly Dancing Dolly (1915).

Note 2. The Title. The title for this Article is based on the 1985 movie, Desperately Seeking Susan, starring Madonna, where:

Roberta (Rosanna Arquette) is an unfulfilled suburban housewife living in Fort Lee, New Jersey who is fascinated with a woman she only knows about by reading messages to and from her in the personals section of a New York City tabloid. This fascination reaches a peak when one such ad with the headline “Desperately Seeking Susan” proposes a rendezvous in Battery Park with the man who regularly seeks her. Roberta goes to Battery Park too, gets a glimpse of the woman (Madonna) and in a series of events involving mistaken identity, amnesia, and other farcical elements Roberta goes from voyeur to participant in an Alice in Wonderland-style plot, ostensibly motivated by the search for a pair of stolen Egyptian earrings.

For ESL’s, the term “egghead” in the caption, is a slangish term for:

A person who is highly academic or studious; an intellectual. A smart person, or brainiac.

The Riddle referred to in the Image Easter Egg is, “What is round on both ends and high in the middle???  Answer: Ohio.  This is where she filed the lawsuit.  The riddle also describes an egg. Apparently this riddle was used in a Broadway song:


Note 3. Pdf’s and Links. Here are pdf’s in case scribd doesn’t scroll well on your device:

Susan Daniels’ Criminal Prosecution Affidavit

Susan Daniels Dismissal Order 9-7-12

Here is the link to the previous Internet Article about Susan Daniels,  P.I.:


Maryland Birther Hit With Court Costs!!! (Or, Another Apuzzite Pays The Price!)

The Birthers Discussed Whether Or Not They Had The Juice To Charge The Whole Thing

Well, as we reported the other day, Tracy Fair, aka KenyaBornObamAcorn, got smacked down in court. See story here:


From the picture above, Ms. Fair seems to have calmed down some since then, because today she was calm enough to post:

Here is a link to the order:


The Court cited the Ankeny Decision at length, and once again slaps down Mario “The Mangler” Apuzzo’s crackpot legal theory that there is a difference between a 14th Amendment citizen born in the United States and a natural born citizen as contemplated in Article II of the U.S.Constitution.

The worse news for Tracy Fair, is that she has been assessed the costs of this proceeding.  As far as my input, I think Ms. Fair should appeal, and run her costs up even higher. But then again, I don’t like her.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. Continuing the “Tracy Fair as the Bride of Frankenstein” theme, this image is from the 1935 film, Bride of Frankenstein.

Note 2. The Image Easter Egg. This is a wordplay on “They Should Have Knowed“. An “anode” is the negatively charged terminal of a voltaic cell or storage battery that supplies current. Frankenstein has such terminals on each side of his neck. It is presumed The Bride’s terminals are more discreetly placed.

Note 3. Just for what it’s worth, there is another Internet Article here about Tracy Fair, My Fair Loony:


Canny McPhee Hangs Birthers Out To Dry!!!

After Doing The Innuendo Song And Dance, The Birther Was Tossed Into The Dirty Laundry Pile Where Nature Took Its Course

Well, it looks like more and more judges are getting fed up with the Birther pseudo-legal crap. Washington State Birther Linda Jordan went through the wash and rinse cycle in record time.  She filed the challenge on Monday, August 27, 2012, and she was dismissed WITH PREJUDICE on Wednesday August 30, 2012.

Once again, The Fogbow and Jack Ryan are there first with a copy of the decision:


Here is a pdf in case you have trouble using scribd:

Washington State Birther Spanking Order

Judge Wm. Thomas McPhee went out of his way to castigate not just Ms. Jordan, but the whole Birther movement. Here are some excerpts which deal specifically with the Birther issue.  I wrote them out this way so they are copy and pastable. I have bolded and paragraphed them a little to make it easier to read:

The birther movement has been a subplot on the fringe of the political spectrum in the U.S. for about five years. Recent history is not the first time it has been raised. In 1880 Chester Arthur, the son of a father of Irish citizenship and a mother of U.S. citizenship, was rumored to have been born not in Vermont where all credible evidence established his birthplace, but in Canada. This unfounded rumor did not receive niuch traction, perhaps because the internet had not been as fully developed then as it is now.

In the past five years all manner of court action has sought to entice courts to enter into the process of determining the qualifications of two persons who were nominated for president in 2008, and one who has served; a process reserved in the U.S. Constitution to the congress, not the courts.

The vast majority of these cases however involved President Obama. The first wave occurred during the presidential campaign of 2008, and involved issues similar or identical to those raised in this case. Plaintiff Linda Jordan cannot be unaware of those cases. None were successful. Most were dismissed on standing grounds; a question not directly at issue in this case because plaintiff purports to bring this case under RCW 29A.68.011, subparts 1 and 3, which confers standing on any elector. But others, including Ankeny v. Governor of State of Indiana, 916 N .E.2d (2009) addressed the merits.

I began this explanation of my decision with some history of the birther movement, and I conclude with some more history. Even after the election of 2008, so-called birther lawsuits continued. A lawyer, self styled as the leader of the birther movement, filed a series of lawsuits on behalf of service members seeking to avoid deployment to war zones on the grounds that President Obama did not legitimately hold that office. Some federal courts eventually forbade him from filing any additional lawsuits.

One such case, Rhodes v. MacDonald, 2009 WL 2997605 (M.D. Ga. 2009), contained a passage that particularly resonated in light of the type of evidence plaintiff offers in this case. The federal district court wrote, in relevant part at paragraph 3:

[Plaintiff] has presented no credible evidence and has made no reliable factual allegations to support her unsubstantiated, conclusory allegations and conjecture that President Obama is ineligible to serve as President of the United States . . .. Then, implying that the President is either a wandering nomad or a prolific identity fraud crook, she alleges that the President “might have used as many as 149 addresses and 39 social security numbers prior to assuming the office of President.

Acknowledging the existence of a document that shows the President was born in Hawaii,  Plaintiff alleges that the document “cannot be verified as genuine, and should be presumed fraudulent.” .. . Finally, in a remarkable shifting of the traditional legal burden of proof, Plaintiff unashamedly alleges that Defendant has the burden to prove his “natural born” status.

Thus, Plaintiffs counsel, who champions herself as a defender of liberty and freedom, seeks to use the power of the judiciary to compel a citizen, albeit the President of the United States, to “prove his innocence” to “charges” that are based upon conjecture and speculation. Any middle school civics student would readily recognize the irony of abandoning fundamental principles upon which our Country was founded in order to purportedly “protect and preserve” those very principles.

In her Memorandum, plaintiff Jordan seems to anticipate that the Secretary of State would seek dismissal under CR 12(b)(6), and argues that she has presented substantial evidence that President Obama’s birth certificate is forged. She quotes the standard for substantial evidence. “Substantial evidence exists where there is a sufficient quantity of evidence in the record to persuade a fair-minded, rational person of the truth of the finding.”

She offers as evidence the musings of the infamous Arizona sheriff Joe Arpiao, supported by the report by a part-time computer programmer last employed in May 2007, who examined a copy of the pdf image of President Obama’s birth certificate and concluded that the original was forged.

She offers the affidavit of a private investigator who opines that President Obama is fraudulently using the social security number of another person who was born in 1890 and was issued the social security number in 1977. The investigator is not able to identify the person  and does not offer any insight as to why this hypothetical person waited until he or she was 87 years old before applying for and receiving a social security number. The rest of plaintiffs evidence is the standard fare of the blogosphere that has been floating around since 2008.

In light of this evidence, I close with an additional passage from Rhodes v McDonald, cited above. On the issue of evidence~ the court wrote at paragraph 4:

Although the Court has determined that the appropriate analysis here involves principles of abstention and not an examination of whether Plaintiffs complaint fails to state a claim under Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 12(b)( 6), the Court does find the Rule 12(b)( 6) analysis helpful in confirming the Court’s conclusion that Plaintiffs claim has no merit. To state a claim upon which relief may be granted, Plaintiff must allege sufficient facts to state a claim to relief that is “plausible on its face.” For a complaint to be facially plausible, the Court must be able “to draw the reasonable inference that the defendant is liable for the misconduct alleged” based upon a review of the factual content pled by the Plaintiff. The factual allegations must be sufficient “to raise a right to relief above the speculative level.”

Plaintiffs complaint is not plausible on its face . . .. Unlike in Alice in Wonderland, simply saying something is so does not make it so. 

I do not usually devote so much time quoting the decisions of other courts in other cases. I do so here to make the point that just as all the so-called evidence offered by plaintiff has been in the blogosphere for years, in one form or another, so too has all the law rejecting plaintiff’s allegations. I can conceive of no reason why this lawsuit was brought, except to join the chorus of noise in that blogosphere. The case is dismissed.

Plaintiff Jordan, and the other Birthers who are filing this crap in the courts should be ashamed of themselves. But they won’t be.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Title and Captions. For ESL’s,  Canny McPhee is a word play based on film’s Nanny McPhee, who constantly is one step ahead of bratty little children. Which ties in with the image. Canny means, having or showing shrewdness and good judgment.

The Innuendo Song and Dance is from the song, Dirty Laundry by Don Henley:

We can do “The Innuendo”
We can dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King
Give us dirty laundry!

The idiom “hang out to dry” means:

1. to not support or help someone;

2. to defeat or punish someone;

3. to get someone into trouble, especially by making them take the blame for a bad situation.

Note 2. Here is a link to the onset of Jordan’s legal action as reported at ObamaReleaseYourRecords:


Maryland Birther Suit Dismissed!!! (With Photos Of The Shocking Aftermath!!!)

She Was Well Known For Her Mean Streak

Well, the mean-spirited Birther, Tracy Fair, aka KenyaBornObamAcorn, just had her Maryland eligibility lawsuit dismissed. It was no surprise. None of these suits have any merit, and all of them are as much Birther attention-seeking devices as anything else. When they lose, as they will continue to do, the losing Birther can pull out a fiddle and play the Poor Pitiful Me Chorus, followed by a lively rendition of  The Judges Suck Reel.  Then, appeal it and start all over.

This particular Birther is well known for her manic, senseless diatribes and personal attacks on various Obotski. She likes to “out” them and post personal information online. I believe this is reprehensible and pernicious behavior. It is OK to call people names and rant about how stupid their positions are, but you cross a line when you start putting personal information out there for everybody to see. She ought to be ashamed of herself.

Anyway, I don’t yet have a copy of the Order dismissing this action for the reasons you will see below. I will post it as soon as it is out in public.  As far as Ms. Fair, I am certain she is NOT a happy camper. Particularly if she isn’t getting any attention.  She has a temper and here is my guess as to what happened after the judgment was rendered:

First, her Co-Plaintiff tried to calm her down:

But Tracy would have none of it, and got really tuned up:

Her voice is shrill and the Carroll County Courthouse is old. So what happened next was no surprise:

Anyway, as soon as the Carroll County Courthouse is back up and running, I will get a copy of the Order.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Images. These are from the fantastic 1935 film, The Bride of Frankenstein. As Wiki says:

Bride of Frankenstein (advertised as The Bride of Frankenstein) is a 1935 American horror monster film, the first sequel to Frankenstein (1931). Bride of Frankenstein was directed by James Whale and stars Boris Karloff as The Monster, Elsa Lanchester in the dual role of his mate and Mary Shelley, Colin Clive as Henry Frankenstein and Ernest Thesiger as Doctor Septimus Pretorius.

The film follows on immediately from the events of the earlier film, and is rooted in a subplot of the original Mary Shelley novel, Frankenstein (1818). In the film, a chastened Henry Frankenstein abandons his plans to create life, only to be tempted and finally coerced by the Monster, encouraged by Henry’s old mentor Dr. Pretorius, into constructing a mate for him.

The excited Monster sees his mate (Elsa Lanchester) and reaches out to her, asking, “Friend?” The Bride, screaming rejects him. “She hate me! Like others” the Monster dejectedly says. As Elizabeth races to Henry’s side, the Monster rampages through the laboratory. The Monster tells Henry and Elizabeth “Yes! Go! You live!” To Pretorius and the Bride, he says “You stay. We belong dead.” While Henry and Elizabeth flee, the Monster sheds a tear and pulls a lever to trigger the destruction of the laboratory and tower.

It would be an interesting philosophical question whether or not the Monster would be a natural born citizen, if the electro-charging took place inside the United States.

Gordon of Khartoon Falls!!!

In Contrast, The Court Left Gordon No Wiggle Room Whatsover

Well, Gordon “The Sage of Swampy Acres” Epperly got the judicial heave-ho up in Alaska. We have written about Gordon before and his foolish Birther/Sovereign Citizenish antics. Links to those Internet Articles are in the notes below. Anyway, Gordon filed another one of silly cartoonish lawsuits, which got removed to Federal Court. That Court, own its own motion, threw the garbage out. Allegedly, even hungry Polar Bears are avoiding it for the odor.

In the suit, Gordon alleged that blacks and women could hold not certain offices for constitutional reasons:

The year 2010 national elections for the government of the United States have come and gone with several Woman [sic], and other individuals who are not white Citizens, having been elected or appointed into the Offices of the Congress, President, Judicial Courts, and several Executive Offices of the government for the United States of America. All these individuals are “Usurpers of Office” for they have no “Political Privileges” (Rights) under any provision of the United States Constitution to hold a Pubic Office for the United States government under the qualification Clauses of Article I, Article II, and Article III of the United States Construction.

The question presented, since the [purported] adoption of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, does a Woman or any none [sic] white citizen have “Political Privileges” to be elected into or appointed into Pubic Offices of the government for the United States of America?3.

Well, it was a short and sweet little five page Order. Somebody named Jack Ryan at the Fogbow put the order on scribd, so this is a big Thank You! to him and them for putting this stuff on line.  Here is another excerpt:

Frivolous Claims

“[A] complaint . . . is frivolous where it lacks an arguable basis either in law or in fact.” “Factual frivolousness includes allegations that are clearly baseless, fanciful, fantastic, or delusional.” Moreover, “a complaint must contain sufficient factual matter, accepted as true, to ‘state a claim to relief that is plausible on its face.’“11 In conducting a review of the pleadings of a self-represented plaintiff, the court is mindful that it must liberally construe the pleadings and give the plaintiff the benefit of the doubt.  Before the court may dismiss Mr. Epperly’s case, the court must provide him with a statement of the deficiencies in the complaint and an opportunity to amend, unless it is clear that amendment would be futile. In this case, amendment would be futile. Mr. Epperly’s claims are implausible and frivolous.

This court will, therefore, dismiss this case.

Therefore, IT IS HEREBY ORDERED [DISMISSED with prejudice;]

Here is a link to the scribd page. It is short and well worth the read, to get all the nuances:


And here is a pdf in case you have problems getting scribd to run right:

Gordon Order

Sooo, Gordon of Khartoon must now mush off back to Swampy Acres. Pubic offices are safe for the time being. Six months of Night are coming soon, and Gordon will no doubt sit in the long winter night typing up some more nonsense to file come Spring.  If not sooner.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1966 movie, Gordon of Khartoum, starring Charlton Heston. I found it at this fascinating website!


As far as me shamelessly stealing the “navel gazing” line for the Image Easter Egg, uh, uh, I am sure I would have thought of it eventually. Maybe.  Right? You believe me, don’t you? Oh. . . OK, I stole it.

Note 2. Navel Gazing. Aka omphaloskepsis: literally, the contemplation of one’s navel, which is an idiom usually meaning complacent self-absorption or excessive focus on oneself; introspection.

Note 3. Gordon of Khartoum: Wiki says:

Major-General Charles George Gordon, CB (28 January 1833 – 26 January 1885), also known as Chinese Gordon, Gordon Pasha, and Gordon of Khartoum, was a British army officer and administrator.

He saw action in the Crimean War as an officer in the British army, but he made his military reputation in China, where he was placed in command of the “Ever Victorious Army”, a force of Chinese soldiers led by European officers. In the early 1860s, Gordon and his men were instrumental in putting down the Taiping Rebellion, regularly defeating much larger forces. For these accomplishments, he was given the nickname “Chinese” Gordon and honours from both the Emperor of China and the British.

He entered the service of the Khedive in 1873 (with British government approval) and later became the Governor-General of the Sudan, where he did much to suppress revolts and the slave trade. Exhausted, he resigned and returned to Europe in 1880.

Then a serious revolt broke out in the Sudan, led by a Muslim reformer and self-proclaimed Mahdi, Muhammad Ahmad. Gordon was sent to Khartoum with instructions to secure the evacuation of loyal soldiers and civilians, and depart with them. After evacuating about 2,500 British civilians he retained a smaller group of soldiers and non-military men. As an ardent Christian evangelist he was determined to stand up to the Mahdi, his Muslim nemesis. In the build up to battle the two leaders corresponded attempting to convert the other to their respective faiths, but neither would comply. Besieged by the Mahdi’s forces, Gordon organized a city-wide defence lasting almost a year that gained him the admiration of the British public, though not the government, which had not wished to become involved (as Gordon had known before setting out). Only when public pressure to act had become too great was a relief force reluctantly sent. It arrived two days after the city had fallen and Gordon had been beheaded.

Note 4. Gordon of Khartoon:  Gordon of Khartoon, on the other hand, has not done much but be a public nuisance.  While there are no reports of decapitation, he apparently makes little use of his head.  He has earned two Internet Articles here:




Arizona Court Spanks Birthers!!! (Again)

Knowing This Would Come Back On Him, Mario Apuzzo, Esq. Went Ahead And Bent Over The Chair

In a stunning rebuke of Mario Apuzzo, Esq.’s and Leo Donofrio Esq.’s  ludicrous Birther legal theories, an Arizona judge dismissed another Birther lawsuit.

Here is a pdf of the decision from The Fogbow’s scribd page:


Here is the really fun language:

Most importantly, Arizona courts are bound by United States Supreme Court precedent in construing the United States Constitution, Arizona v. Jay J. Garfield Bldg. Co., 39 Ariz. 45, 54, 3 P.2d 983, 986 (1931), and this precedent fully supports that President Obama is a natural born citizen under the Constitution and thus qualified to hold the office of President. See United States v. Wong Kim Ark, 169 U.S. 649, 702-03 (1898) (addressing U. S. Const. amend. XIV); Ankeny v. Governor of the State of Indiana, 916 N.E.2d 678, 684-88 (Ind. App. 2010) (addressing the precise issue). Contrary to Plaintiff’s assertion, Minor v. Happersett, 88 U.S. 162 (1874), does not hold otherwise.

Once again, the courts have slapped the idiotic two citizen-parent theory down.  And the ludicrous Minor v. Happersett interpretation the Birthers peddle. I am curious what the Birther accusations will be.  Probably, that this court is corrupt, or scairt, or liberal, or on the take, or whatever, or all of the foregoing.

You can be assured that you will not hear, “Uh, maybe Mario Apuzzo, Esq. and Leo Donofrio, Esq. are wrong???”

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image and the Easter Egg. The Image is Enrico Caruso in Pagliacci.  As Wiki says:

Pagliacci was an instant success and it remains popular today. It contains one of opera’s most famous and popular arias, “Recitar! … Vesti la giubba” (literally, To perform! … Put on the costume, but more often known in English as On with the motley).

The applicable definition of motley here is the particolored costume of a jester.