Tag Archives: distraction

Justiagate: The Mother of All Wild Goose Chases

The Girl Reporter Caught The Wild Goose and Took It For A Spin

Well Leo Donofrio, aka the Parakeet, I mean the Paraclete as he calls himself,  is flogging the Justiagate non-issue for all it is worth. Or actually, for all it isn’t worth.  According  to the Paraclete, (Which is not a pair of athletic shoes as I first thought.) Justia, the online legal research website, scrubbed and scrambled the links to the 1875 Minor v. Happersett case in an attempt to keep voters from finding out that a natural born citizen required two citizen parents.  This is nothing but a wild goose chase of the highest order.

While Donofrio and crew are whooping it up about the scrubbing, and displaying the nail wounds in their hands and feet to all who will listen, the simple truth  is that the Minor v. Happersett case NEVER defined natural born citizenship. In fact, the judges in that case openly stated there was no need to resolve that issue. Sooo, there would be no need to scrub this case,  and Justiagate is just “much ado about nothing.”  But, that is why the two citizen parent Birthers are  throwing fits about some minor programming glitches . . . to draw attention away  from the fact that their case is toothless. They send people on a  wild goose chase,  so that nobody will notice their case is a legal turkey and can’t get far off the ground.


Sooo, as an alternative method to address this Mother of All Wild Goose Chases, I have written a Mother Goose poem!

The Wild Mother Goose Chase
by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter
aka Little Miss Scuffit

Hey Diddle, Diddle
Did Justia fiddle
The Minor v. Happersett links?

Wild goose in the corn-
Did they rule “natural born?”
(Or just leave it open, methinks?)

Sooo, Little Miss Scuffet
Sat on her tuffet
Perusing the web for the case.

Aha!, hear her shouts,
They clearly said “doubts.
The Birthers have egg on their face!

Rub a dub dub
Alleging a scrub
The Paraclete’s charges fall flat.

For, “Aye, there’s the rub!”
The case was a flub,
The judges, they never ruled that.

Rub a drub drub
She sank that old tub,
The Birthers should not have set sail.

Adrift on the sea
As wet as can be,
Their journey was an Epic Fail!

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter
aka Little Miss Scuffit

Note 1:  Here are the seven simple sentences from Minor v. Happersett which cause so much confusion to the two citizen parent Birthers:

The Constitution does not, in words, say who shall be natural-born citizens. Resort must be had elsewhere to ascertain that. At common-law, with the nomenclature of which the framers of the Constitution were familiar, it was never doubted that all children born in a country of parents who were its citizens became themselves, upon their birth, citizens also. These were natives, or natural-born citizens, as distinguished from aliens or foreigners. Some authorities go further and include as citizens children born within the jurisdiction without reference to the citizenship of their parents. As to this class there have been doubts, but never as to the first. For the purposes of this case it is not necessary to solve these doubts.

Note 2:  Credits for the Artwork:

The Fiddling Cat Image can be found here, by Marty at Deviant Art:


The Little Miss Muffet Image can be found here, by Al Rio at comic vine:


Note 3:  The Little Rascals movie poster is very appropriate for the two-citizen parent Birthers. Wiki says that by 1840, the rhyme had become:

Rub a dub dub,
Three men in a tub,
And who do you think they be?
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick maker.
Turn them out, knaves all three.

Note 4: The Mother of All. . .The free dictionary says the idiom, “the mother of all something”  means  “an extreme example of something.”

Note 5: Little Miss Scuffett. An alternative meaning of “scuff” is to brush off; wipe off; or kick.

A Cite For Sore Eyes (The Dred Scott Case in 1898)

The 1898 Rambler Slave-Catcher Coupe Could Follow The Drinking Gourd With The Best Of Them

The two-citizen parent Vattle Birthers are trying to convince the world that the 1875 case of Minor v. Happersett, a voting rights case, defined natural born citizenship. This is absurd, and I have already de-bunked that nonsense multiple  times in other Internet Articles.  Sooo, this piece is about some of the lies and distractions being used to fool people about the case. (Note: Vattle Birthers my sarcastic name for the two citizen parent Birthers since they are members of the Emerich de Vattel Fan Club.)

They distraction process begins by stating that Minor v. Happersett has been cited 25 or more times by courts, and that fact alone means that it is good precedent and therefore the whole case stands for whatever silly nonsense they are pushing at the moment.  If you point out to them that the case does not resolve any citizenship questions, they respond with, “But it’s been cited over 25 times!!!”

In addition, they are busy whooping it up that links to Minor v. Happersett , which appeared on just one of many separate sources of SCOTUS case law, Justia, were scrubbed and altered to keep people from finding out about this wonderful case while Obama was running for office.  If you point out to them again that the case does not resolve any citizenship questions, so why would anybody want to look it up in the first place, then they respond, “Then why did they scrub the case???”

Both of these claims are nothing but flim flam designed to get people talking about the case being cited 25 times and allegedly being scrubbed to keep people from noticing that the case openly states that it doesn’t do squat about resolving whether children of foreigners born in the United States were natural born citizens. (See Note 3 below.)

When a court cites, or quotes from a case, it is not citing every single word in the case,  or approving the whole case in a general way. They are only citing the particular words on the particular issue on the particular point they wish to make. So for Minor v. Happersett,  several courts have cited it for the purpose of saying that the 14th Amendment does not create voting rights.  NO COURT has ever cited Minor v. Happersett for the purpose of defining natural born citizenship.  None. Not a single one. Why should any court do this when the Minor v. Happersett judges themselves came right out and said they were not resolving the doubts about the issue.  Those doubts were resolved in the  1898 SCOTUS case of Wong Kim Ark, which case the Vattle Birthers avoid like the plague.

But how do you prove all this easily or show how this stuff works without going through some big long analysis about the do’s and don’ts of legal case citing.  Fortunately, there is an easy way to show how these people are trying to put something over on you. One of the big promoters of the Minor v. Happersett nonsense and the related distraction process is named Leo Donofrio.  Wouldn’t it be fun to use HIS example to show how the distractions are meaningless! Here is something he says in one of his Internet Articles:

Stanley is peddling a response to JustiaGate which requires one to accept that all 25 cases were accidentally altered to remove the words “Minor v. Happersett” and the official citations to Minor, while various portions of relevant text pertaining to the eligibility issue were also removed from other cases along with the Slaughter-House Cases name and it’s official citation… along with further references to citizenship precedents such as Osborn v. Bank of United States and Scott v. Sandford (removed from US v. Wong Kim Ark) which features the following definition of natural-born citizen:

“The natives, or natural-born citizens, are those born in the country, of parents who are citizens.”

Sound familiar? It’s the same definition of natural-born citizen as in Minor v. Happersett.

The  Scott v. Sandford case Leo Donofrio  is talking about is also known as the Dred Scott Case. It was a 1857 SCOTUS case, and is famous for holding that slaves were property and if a slave escaped to a Free State,  then he should be treated like property and returned to his owner. Kind of like a lost dog.  But the mere fact that case was cited in the  1898 SCOTUS case of Wong Kim Ark does not re-activate slavery and return black people to slave status. If it did, the picture of the 1898 slave tracking car above would be reality. Just being cited does not make the Dred Scott Case good law on any point except the one it was being cited for.  Merely stating that Wong Kim Ark cites the Dred Scott case does not tell you anything why the case is being cited, or anything else about the case.  (There, that was a simple example!)

The same thing holds true about Minor v. Happersett.  Merely saying that it has been cited 25 times doesn’t tell you anything about why the case was cited, does not prove anything about the case, and does not reveal any significance the case may have.  Similarly, there is no way to judge the impact of any alleged programming boo-boos by Justia.

So why bring up these issues just to leave them unresolved?  A person could spend days trying to figure out and untangle all the nonsense Donofrio has splatted out at his website about the citings and Justia, and still not know what is going on. Or, a person could spend a few minutes on the 7 sentences below at Note 3, and realize the case left open and unresolved the issue of natural born citizenship. I believe the Vattle Birthers are doing the same thing a magician does. He distracts you with a beautiful lady in a revealing outfit,  or flourishes with his left hand, while he makes a rabbit disappear with his right hand.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1:  from the Image caption- Follow the Drinking Gourd

The American folksong Follow the Drinking Gourd was first published in 1928. The Drinking Gourd song was supposedly used by an Underground Railroad operative to encode escape instructions and a map. These directions then enabled fleeing slaves to make their way north from Mobile, Alabama to the Ohio River and freedom. Taken at face value, the “drinking gourd” refers to the hollowed out gourd used by slaves (and other rural Americans) as a water dipper. But here it is used as a code name for the Big Dipper star formation, which points to Polaris, the Pole Star, and North.


Tom Loker, from the Image title, was the slave catcher in the Uncle Tom’s Cabin  book.

Note 2:  Donofrio is also slippery another way in the excerpt above.  He slips in this  language from Emerich de Vattel, ““The natives, or natural-born citizens, are those born in the country, of parents who are citizens,” without telling anybody  that it was cited in the dissent in Wong Kim Ark, and thus has no legal significance in American law.

Note 3: Minor v. Happersett.  A brief recap of the flap about this case is provided for completeness. The Vattle Birthers cite this language with their left hand,

The Constitution does not, in words, say who shall be natural-born citizens. Resort must be had elsewhere to ascertain that. At common-law, with the nomenclature of which the framers of the Constitution were familiar, it was never doubted that all children born in a country of parents who were its citizens became themselves, upon their birth, citizens also. These were natives, or natural-born citizens, as distinguished from aliens or foreigners.

while, with their right hand, they  palm the next three sentences and make them disappear:

Some authorities go further and include as citizens children born within the jurisdiction without reference to the citizenship of their parents. As to this class there have been doubts, but never as to the first. For the purposes of this case it is not necessary to solve these doubts.

Yes. You are reading it correctly. The judges openly admit they are not solving the doubts,  while the Vattle Birthers try to convince you they did.  This is why they need all the distractions they can get.

Obama Future Shock (First of the Post-Birtherism Series)

Breeefruuuum fribbittttt drubbbbbllle!!!

[NOTE: Now that the Kenyan Option has been laid to rest, I am going to start a new series of Internet Articles dealing with Post-Birtherism Issues. These Internet Articles will have their own category and everything!!!]

The Event: A Presidential Press Conference.The Date: In the future. Maybe a few weeks from now, maybe a few months. The Place: The Teleprompter Room of the White House. The Topic: Who knows? Unemployment, inflation, war. . . Any of the REAL problems ignored by Obama to date. The Point: Obama, without the Magic Beans of Birtherism to distract people.

Obama: I will take questions now.

Reporter No. 1: Mr. President, when are you going to take responsibility for the Economy???

Obama: Like I just said in my prepared statements, I inherited this mess from Bush and the Republicans.

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter: Yes, but it has been THREE years. Which of YOUR programs has fixed this??? Heck, which one has even been smart???

Obama: I personally saved GM and Chrysler. I had a Cash for Clunkers Program!!!

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter: Sooo??? What has been the effect on the OVERALL Economy. The 99ers are starving. YOU continued the Bush Tax Cuts for the wealthy. What have YOU done???

Obama: Look, I was a victim of overt RACISM!!! I had these Crazy Birthers, like YOU!!!, all over me!!! NO OTHER PRESIDENT in history had to cough up his birth certificate!!!

MSNBC Reporter: Yes, that is true!!! Obama was a victim of racism!!!

Reporter No.2: So, Mr. President, you’re trying to blame the Birthers for YOU not leading the country out of this mess??? For three years now???

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter: Yeah if it took you THREE YEARS to fix a $14 Birth Certificate Question, are you even capable of dealing with a $15 Trillion Economy???

Obama: Ms. Fromm, will you please sit down and quit butting in!!! How did you even get in here???

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter: Uh, I photo-shopped my name over a REAL White House Press Pass???

Reporter No. 1: Mr. President, I think we all agree the Birther issue is over. Can we just forget the Birthers and concentrate on the Economy. You’re not really trying to blame the Birthers for 20% REAL unemployment are you???

Obama: Look, all I am trying to say is, NO other President in History has had to deal with the problems I have had to deal with. Massive unemployment, Inflation, Coughing up their birth certificate, an oil spill in the Gulf, people thinking I was born in Kenya, the trillion dollar deficits, the war In Libya. . .

Reporter No. 3: Mr. President, YOU decided to go to war in Libya.

Obama: Yes, the MSNBC Reporter, your question please.

MSNBC Reporter: Me??? I didn’t even have my hand up. Oh Wait, Racism yeah racism. Mr. President, how has all this Birther stuff and racism in the country affected you???

Obama: Ohhhh, It has just been terrible. I have not been able to sleep at night because of all the distractions.

Reporter No. 2: But Mr. President, a few months ago you said the whole thing was SILLY. Which is it, silly or a serious distraction???

Obama: Both. It is a seriously silly distraction.

Reporter 2: But Mr. President, the Birther issue is over, what steps are YOU taking to address the serious Economic Issues in the Country.

Obama: I plan on focusing in like a laser on the Economy. The first thing I think of in the morning when I wake up, and the last thing I think of at night before I go to sleep, is the Economy.

Reporter No. 2: But you have said this before, at least 2 or 3 times before. Are you just now noticing how screwed up the Economy is???

Obama: Breeefruuuum fribbittttt drubbbbbllle!!!


Sooo, this is how I see Obama now that Birtherism is over. The Big Phony will not have anything to distract the public, or his own party from his gross incompetence.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Obama and the Magic Beans!!!

The Wizard Explains Derivatives To Jack

Everybody knows the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, but just in case you don’t,  here’s a brief recap.  Jack lives with his mother, who is a 99er, and has completely run out of money. Jack’s mother unplugs the XBox, and rousts Jack off the couch, to go to market with the only remaining asset,  Buttercup the cow.  Along the way Jack meets a sharp Wall Street derivatives trader who manages to con Jack out of the cow for a handful of magic beans.  When Jack gets back home his mother is distraught, and unable to afford an attorney, throws the silly magic beans out the back window, and hocks Jack’s XBox.

During the night, the magic beans grow into a huge beanstalk, which Jack proceeds to climb. At the top, Jack finds a goose that lays golden eggs, which he steals from its rightful owner.  Jack slides back down the stalk, and chops it down to evade apprehension, and everybody lives happily ever after.  This is probably a mythological reference to finding the Greater Fool, and destroying the document trail, but that is a story for another time.

But what if the beans had not been magic??? What if the beans were just plain beans???  Such is the state of affairs between the Democrats and Obama.

Because Obama,  much like Jack, has taken something good, solid and productive, like a cow, and swapped it in for the magic beans of Birtherism.  Rather than work to stop the Bush tax cuts, or truly rein in Wall Street, Obama has relied on the magic beans of Birtherism to ensure his re-election. Rather than honestly focus in like a laser on jobs, or exorcise the demons of speculation from the price of oil, Obama has bet his bank on the magic beans of Birtherism, assuming that either sympathy or fear will impel his faithful base to the polls in numbers sufficient to guarantee a second term.

Strangely, this bet did not pay off in 2010.  In what was widely regarded as a referendum on Obama, the Republicans won seats in record numbers and  a majority in the House.  Yet, Obama is still in his backyard, with a bottle of Miracle Grow trying to coax the sprouts upwards. His minions are complicit in this, and if you doubt it, simply watch the media response to Donald Trump. There is more coverage on the missing birth certificate than on Trump’s pledge to confront OPEC and end the trade imbalance with China.

And one can not help but wonder at the Obama supporters. Do they really think the Spectre of Obama “coughing up” a long form birth certificate is going to have the same effect as Lyndon Johnson’s Mushroom Cloud??? Do they really think a majority of voters are going to duck and cover in fear and trembling lest the true birth weight of Obama becomes known???

Sadly, for the Democrats, this is the real world.  They have contentedly swapped Buttercup, the cow, for a handful of beans. Truly, they don’t know beans.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter