Tag Archives: document examiner

A Birther Mid-Summer’s Night Dream!!!

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Reed Hayes Admits To The Girl Reporter That He Never Actually Examined The Real Document

The seasons come, and the seasons go. Life is a cycle, and once again mid summer is upon us. True to ancient rituals, the Birthers are cavorting about by moonlight in the woodlands and meadows of America, and in general making asses out of themselves(see Note 3 below) . This time, the ostensible reason is that a humble Hawaiian document examiner, Reed Hayes, may topple Obama.

The story is at over at Free Republic, and ORYR, and even being spread around the Internet in various comment sections. Inhibitions lowered by untaxed spirits will drive wild mating rituals.  Roofs will be raised in barns, and trailers will be set  a’ rocking from  Georgia to Oklahoma.  Nine months hence, new little Birthers will arrive, some with names like Reed and Reedella in honor of this year’s fertility god. But, it isn’t really the Reed Hayes story that is driving all this.  Because there isn’t a story. He bases his conclusion on some online images presented him by the Cold Case Posse. This latest round pheromone pumping began over at The Western Center For Journalism:

There have been many lawsuits challenging Barack Obama’s eligibility to be President—most based on the fact that Obama is not a natural born citizen, his father being a Kenyan. Other lawsuits challenge the validity of Obama’s PDF long-form birth certificate, riddled with strange anomalies like multiple layers and eight different fonts.

The lawsuits have all crashed and burned in flames for two reasons: 1. The court hearing the lawsuits have treated the cases as a joke instead of a valid question of Constitutional requirements. And 2. The plaintiffs haven’t had Reed Hayes on their side.

Reed Hayes  is a forensic document expert who may be the man who finally brings down the Obama administration.

There is more such merriment at this link:

http://www.westernjournalism.com/document-expert-could-topple-the-obama-administration/

Here is the money quote:

Based on my observations and findings, it is clear the Certificate of Live Birth I examined is not a scan of an original paper birth certificate but a digitally manufactured document created by utilizing  material from various sources.

and a short video:

My GUESS is, that poor Reed Hayes already rues the day he ever decided he needed $50 badly enough to get in bed with Mike Zullo. Because Reed Hayes has never seen or touched the original document. And here the Birthers are, presenting him as someone who may topple the President. How is the poor man going to be able to go out in public after the Cold Case Posse heads for the Last Round Up, which ought to occur within the next few months? Because even the most stubborn Birther is getting fed up with “We are meeting with VIPs right now“, and “This is going to be REALLY BIG!“, and “Just keep sending us your money!

Particularly with Orly Taitz out there accusing Team Arpaio of having Low T, impotence,  performance anxiety, and fighting like girly-men.  There is nothing wrong with silly-season, as long as you know it’s silly. But no matter how much fun the fantasy, sooner or later you have to wake up. If I was the Birthers, I wouldn’t lose the flame-retardant long johns just yet.  And what was that Shakespeare said???

Shall we their fond documents see?
Lord, what fools these Birthers be!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is James Cagney, playing the role of Bottom, in William Shakespeare’s 1935 film, A Midsummer’s Night Dream. Unable to find funding in Great Britain, Shakespeare brought the script to Hollywood. Warner Brothers snapped it up, but after a squabble with Hal Wallis, Shakespeare was denied the right to make any script changes, and any voice at all in casting the players. As he complained later, it was like he wasn’t even there. As Wiki notes:

Directed by Max Reinhardt and William Dieterle, and starring Ian Hunter, James Cagney, Mickey Rooney, Olivia de Havilland, Joe E. Brown, Dick Powell, and Victor Jory. Produced by Henry Blanke and Hal Wallis for Warner Brothers, and adapted by Charles Kenyon and Mary C. McCall Jr. from Reinhardt’s Hollywood Bowl production of the previous year, the film is about the events surrounding the marriage of the Duke of Athens, Theseus, and the Queen of the Amazons, Hippolyta. These include the adventures of four young Athenian lovers and a group of six amateur actors, who are controlled and manipulated by the fairies who inhabit the forest in which most of the story is set. The play, which is categorized as a comedy, is one of Shakespeare’s most popular works for the stage and is widely performed across the world. Felix Mendelssohn’s music was extensively used, as re-orchestrated by Erich Wolfgang Korngold. The ballet sequences featuring the fairies were choreographed by Bronislava Nijinska.

In the forest outside Athens, Oberon (Victor Jory), the king of the fairies, and Titania (Anita Louise) his queen, are having an argument. Titania tells Oberon that she plans to stay there to attend the wedding of Duke Theseus and Hippolyta. Wanting to punish Titania’s disobedience, Oberon instructs his mischievous court jester Puck (Mickey Rooney) to retrieve a flower called “love-in-idleness”. Originally a white flower, it turns purple when struck by Cupid’s bow. When someone applies the magical love potion to a sleeping person’s eyelids, it makes the victim fall in love with the first living creature seen upon awakening. Meanwhile, the mischievous Puck turns Bottom into a donkey. When Titania wakes up and lays eyes on Bottom as a donkey, she falls in love with him.

Note 2. Midsummer’s Night. Actual Midsummer’s Night occurs within a few days of the Summer Solstice, around June 24 in most countries. In contrast, Mid-Summer occurs sometime between June 21 and September 21.

Note 3. Ass. This is NOT a bad word!!! As noted by Gershon Legman, in one of his collections, I forget which one:

There once was a girl from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass!
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think.
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass!

If you have never heard of Gershon Legman, see here:

http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Make+Love,+Not+War:+The+Legacy+of+Gershon+Legman,+1917-1999-a061487457

Note 4. Other Reed Hayes articles:

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/omg-deputy-zullo-and-the-space-posse-tackle-the-moon-landing-hoax/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/reed-hayes-and-the-crapomite-maneuver/

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OMG!!! Deputy Zullo and The Space Posse Tackle The Moon Landing Hoax???

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Obviously, Zullo And The Space Posse’s Investigation Lacked Gravity

OMG, I just got a document purporting to be between document examiner Reed Hayes and Deputy Mike Zullo of the Cold Case Posse. Apparently, Sheriff Joe Arpaio has decided to sic the posse on the alleged Moon Landing Hoax. The new investigatory posse is called The Maricopa County Space Posse.

I am not sure I believe this one, but as always, I report and YOU decide. I wouldn’t have thought the goobers would ever investigate Obama’s birth certificate, so who knows??? First, here is a pdf upload I made of the 5 page document:

ReadRight Document

Next, here is a page by page image post, for those without a pdf reader. Click on any Image to make it larger:
Page 1:

ReadRight1

Page 2:
ReadRight2

Page 3:
ReadRight3

Page 4:
ReadRight4

Page 5:
ReadRight5

My goodness. There was a time when I would have had no questions about the authenticity of the above. But then I met the Birthers. . .

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: PDF Images:  Here are the actual jpegs that were in the non-pdf document I received. I am not sure if the trfr to pdf changed the aspects or not.

1.

Moon Bats Hanging

2

Moon Bat Shaking

3.

Moon Bat Releasing