Tag Archives: Hawaii

Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney???

The Jury Simply Wasn’t Buying Klayman’s Theory Of The Case

A few weeks ago  Larry Klayman, Esq. had a “Butterdezillion Moment.”  He decided when Alvin Onaka, Ph.D, the Hawaiian State Registrar verified to Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett  that “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files“,  Onaka was actually failing  to verify that information.

(Click on Image to Enlarge.)

The above blurb was taken from Klayman’s August 29, 2012 letter to DNC General Counsel Robert Bauer, Esq.. (See Note 1 below for a pdf copy of the Arizona Requests and the Hawaiian Verification, and Klayman’s letter to Bauer.) Klayman went on to add:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Let’s deconstruct this a little:

Onaka States:  “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”

Klayman Responds: Onaka was asked to verify the birth facts for Barack Hussein Obama that are claimed on the birth certificate posted on the White House website and pointedly failed to do so.

Klayman Responds: Mr. Onaka undeniably failed to verify that the image posted at whitehouse.gov “is a true and accurate representation of the original record in [the DOH] files.”

Klayman falls into the same tar pit of confusion that Birther Butterdezillion fell into. In fact, I think Klayman is using her journey into illogic as his starting point. Referencing the full pdf copies of the Arizona requests, and Onaka’s Verification below,  Ken Bennett made 3 separate requests. First, he filled out a Verification Request Form which had 6 items of identifying information typed in. Then, he requested verification of 10 separate pieces of information, and finally a blanket request that the White House long form image was a true and accurate representation of the original file.

Without going too deeply into the mechanics of the situation again, all 3 requests were verified. The first request was answered by the Verification itself. As Hawaii law states (See full statute in Note 2 below.):

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

The 6 typed in items were stated by Ken Bennett, the applicant, and thus confirmed by the Verification itself, as emphasized by the first 2 items on Onaka’s list.  The second request covering 10 items of information was specifically verified as items 3 through 12 on Onaka’s list. Finally, Onaka specifically stated the White House image matched the records on file. All this can be seen in the Note 1 Arizona pdf.

What I want to do is look more closely at Onaka’s response to that last request:   “The information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”  I submit that if that statement had been the only response on the Verification form, that statement alone would have answered all three of Arizona SOS Ken Bennett’s request.

The reason is, that each of the 6 items typed into the Verification Request Form also appear on the White House long form image. The same is true of the 10 separate pieces of information for which Bennett requested Verification. If all that information is on the long form image, then in effect, these are “the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.” And, Onaka’s “verification  shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.”

Klayman, and his mixed–up mentor, Butterdezillion, are busily engaged in trying to wiggle and squirm their way out of Onaka’s Verification. Both are more concerned with what Onaka did NOT say, then what he did say. They try to pretend that there is some huge and legally significant difference between the phrases identical to and true and accurate representation of and Onaka’s phrase the information attached with your request matches  the original records.

In fact, the two of them argue that by NOT mimicking the exact words of the request, Onaka’s statement means the information has not been verified at all, and in fact is confirmation that the White House long form image and the original records are not the same at all. Butterdezillion has flittered off into the theory that “the word matches means that blank boxes equal filled-in boxes.” Klayman gets his little panties in such a wad that he fires off a series of indignant and foolishly threatening letters to the effect that the recipients darn well better not rely on Onaka’s statement:

the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches the original records in our files.

Oh really??? In actuality, Onaka’s statement provides exactly the proof that the various agencies and groups require. The long form Image that Obama posted matches Hawaii’s records. Only in Birfer World is that statement hard to understand. Which is very unfortunate for Birthers, because darned if that Slippery Onaka hasn’t gone and done it two more times!!! (See the Kansas and Mississippi Verifications in Note 1 below.)

Here is what Onaka said for Mississippi on May 31, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

and here is what Onaka said for Kansas on September 14, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Plus, Alvin Onaka signed off on all three of the Verifications with the same language found on the Mississippi Verification:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

In spite of all this, the Birthers remain convinced that there is something fishy about the Obama long form Image. If this isn’t DENIAL with a capital D, then there is no such thing as denial. And, the drunks are right when they get 5 DWI’s and still maintain they don’t have a drinking problem. No, this is about as slam dunk as you can get on the birth certificate issue. But I got to thinking about this, and since I don’t want to do like the Birther Blogs, and put one thing in my title something else in the article, let’s examine a hypothetical situation:    Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney!!!

From Larry Klayman’s Closing Argument in Bob “The Bank Robber” Beaumont’s Criminal Trial

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I want you to know how much I appreciate your time and attention during the course of this trial. We are almost finished, because this is really a simple verdict for you to bring back. The State’s entire case rests on fingerprint evidence, DNA analysis, and other tests which allegedly shows that my client,  Bob Beaumont, robbed the First National Bank. You heard Mr. Clyde from the State Crime Lab testify that he ran a DNA test on the wad of Red Man chewing tobacco the masked bank robber spit on the floor of the bank, as captured on camera.  Mr. Clyde says that DNA matches Bob’s DNA.

You also heard Mr. Clyde testify that fingerprints were all over the marked bills that were recovered from the robbery, and those fingerprints match Bob’s fingerprints. Mr. Clyde also said that a large quantity of human drool was found on those same bills, and the DNA on that drool matches Bob’s DNA.  And, Mr. Clyde, who thinks he is some kind of Match King, says that the fingerprints and DNA found on a gun and ski mask right outside the bank’s front door, matches Bob’s fingerprints and DNA.

And finally, Mr. Clyde testifies that a retinal scan from a hidden bank scanner, and a voice analysis from the bank video tape also match up with Bob’s post arrest retinal scan and voice analysis. Well, there you have it in a nutshell. The State has NO CASE whatsoever! Because when Mr. Clyde says all this stuff matches, he is not saying that all these things are identical! Nor, is he saying that they are true and accurate representations of anything.

Therefore, the State has utterly failed to meet its burden to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. As a matter of fact, by refusing to say that these things were identical, or true and accurate representations, the State proved beyond a reasonable doubt that my client IS INNOCENT! Those of you who were able to stay awake without suffering seizures during the testimony of our expert symantical witness, Butterdezillion Jones, know what I am telling you makes sense.

Forget what Mr. Clyde said during his sworn testimony!  The real question you should be asking is why Mr. Clyde didn’t use those phrases identical to and true and accurate representations.  After this is over, I am going to sue Mr. Clyde. If you 12 people don’t find Bob innocent, then I may sue you too! Remember that when you are back there in that jury room! And remember this:

If the fingerprints match, guilt must not attach!!!

That is how I see this whole thing.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Pdf Copies.

Arizona Requests and Verification

Klayman Letter to DNC Bauer

Mississippi Request For Verification

Mississippi Verification

kansas-verification

Note 2. Hawaii Statute governing Verifications:

HRS §338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

Note 3. Links to Butterdezillion Articles:

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/26/butterdezillion-tries-to-evolve/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/22/butterdezillion-still-crazy-as-a-betsy-bug/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/butterdezillion-and-the-unwritten-law-of-magic-spells/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/the-strange-universe-of-butterdezillion-or-all-mimsy-were-the-borogoves/

Note 4. Link to relevant Larry Klayman article:

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/the-political-theatre-of-the-absurd-or-deconstructing-klayman/


Butterdezillion Tries To Evolve!!!

It Was Really Difficult To Drag Butterdezillion Away From Her Strange Creations

Well, will wonders never cease??? It appears that Birther Butterdezillion reads The Birther Think Tank. Here is what we wrote a couple of days ago on September 22, 2012: (See Note 1 below for the link.):

Could have happened magically transforms into did in fact happen.Then the other Birthers parrot the same crap without any of them ever having thought the matter out. For people who are so interested in vetting, they sure don’t spend much time vetting their own theories. Because if they had, they might have noticed one more little block on the long form image

       23. Evidence for Delayed Filing or Alteration – Blank.

That’s right. Part of what Onaka verified is the information showing that there was no delayed filing, or alteration. What was that Butterdezillion said in the last post about her:

The WH BC and the real one do not match because the real one has additional markings. Everything that’s   actually ON the fake BC is on the real one, and that’s what he verified. But everything that is on the real one is NOT on the fake one.

So, if there is a REAL ONE, a LEGALLY VALID one,  then it also has a blank in Box 23, indicating no delays in filing and no alterations.

Nuff said.

And here is what Butterdezillion wrote just  three days later on September 25, 2012,  in comment 39, at a Free Republic post:

Also bear in mind that Onaka sees a distinction between saying information is “identical to” and saying that information “matches”. We know this because KS SOS Kris Kobach asked Onaka to verify that the information contained in the WH image “is identical to” the information contained in the original record, and Onaka WOULD NOT verify that. Instead he illegally verified something he was not asked to verify: that the information MATCHED.

The difference? If something “matches”, it means that where there is an entry in the WH image, there is the same entry on the original. If the records are “identical to”, then even the LACK OF AN ENTRY has to be the same for both documents. They have to be identical even when the field is left blank.

The White House image leaves item 23 blank (Evidence for Delayed Filing or Alteration). There’s nothing on the WH BC to try to “match” so that field doesn’t get compared to the original. But in order for the WH information for item 23 to be IDENTICAL, it has to be blank on the original if it’s blank on the WH image.

And that’s where Onaka balked. He would not verify that the information is IDENTICAL. He will only say that it “matches” (that is, that where something is actually listed on the WH image, the same thing is listed on the original).

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2935781/posts

Butterdezillion had a choice:

1.  Recognize that Onaka had truly verified the White House long form Image, admit that she was wrong about the whole Verification process, and quit being a Birther.

2.  Try to find some new way to wiggle out of having to recognize that Onaka’s Verification was legitimate so she could keep on Birfin’.

Naturally she gloms on to the second option, kicking, screaming and with both hands.  Because Onaka did not use the word IDENTICAL in his Verification, she goes about making up a brand new Butterdezillion Magical Spell standard based on that word.  She also rewrites the meaning of the word matches. Henceforward, whenever  information on one form merely matches information on another form, it means that blank boxes on one form can equal filled in boxes on the other form. Using the magical word IDENTICAL supposedly wards off this evil event.

However, like a good little Birther, she doesn’t both to follow out her own theory and see what it looks like in action. Sooo, once again somebody else has to do the heavy lifting.  Reluctantly, we return to Butterdezillion Universe. First, let’s look at item 23 on what Butterdezillion calls the White House Image:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Now, let’s look at a Butterdezillion Imaginary Dream version Image that I just made up. This version uses the  “Delayed Filing” scenario, to be as fair to the Birthers as possible. By doing it this way, all the information stays the same on both forms except for item 23:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Now, let’s see how this holds up to the Verification language. Onaka said, in the Kansas verification, at paragraph 3:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Well, does the line 23 information on the WH version “match the information contained in the original Certificate of Live Birth” as fiddled with by me??? No, it doesn’t. In one document there is nothing, and in the other document is “Delayed. All information from maternal grand-mother Madelyn Dunham, not Kapiolani Hospital.

What she has done is the equivalent of a child sitting in the middle of the room with a blanket over her head, thinking that if she can not see anybody, then nobody can see her.  What Butterdezillion does not want to understand is that there is INFORMATION in both sets of records. Even if nothing is entered on one form,  and therefore escapes characterization as INFORMATION according to her bizarre logic,  then unless item 23 is also blank in the original document, there is still INFORMATION to be found on the original document which is UN-MATCHED by anything on the White House Image. (Which, according to her theory, is either an amendment or some kind of delay.)

Her logic presumes the blank box on item 23 of the White House Image contains nothing to be verified, and therefore escapes the whole Verification process. But,  Onaka does not say that the information on the White House Image “matches some of the information contained in the original Certificate of Live Birth.” He says it matches the information. If there is extra information in the original document, and nothing to match it on the White House Image, whether you classify it as information or non-information, then there is still a mismatch to the information contained in the original Certificate of Live Birth and Onaka could not verify and certify it.

Further, Butterdezillion ignores Hawaiian law with her form of analysis. Here is the relevant law:

HRS §338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

Notice how it is the FACTS of the event which are verified, and if one of those FACTS is, that there were no delays or alterations in the documentation, then that FACT is being verified. She would have you think that FACT isn’t being considered at all.  By Butterdezillion’s logic, Onaka could verify a totally blank birth certificate, as matching the information contained in an original document chugging full of information. That is where thinking like a Birther gets you.  Sorry, Butterdezillion. I guess you will have to go back to the Birther Drawing Board and try again.

Perhaps if you took the blanket off your head. . .

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Links. Here is the link to the other 3 Butterdezillion articles:

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/22/butterdezillion-still-crazy-as-a-betsy-bug/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/butterdezillion-and-the-unwritten-law-of-magic-spells/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/the-strange-universe-of-butterdezillion-or-all-mimsy-were-the-borogoves/

Note 2. Verifications.  Here are pdfs of the 3 Requests and Verifications to date:

Arizona Requests and Verification

Mississippi Requests For Verification

Mississippi Verification

Kansas Requests and Verification


Butterdezillion: Still Crazy As A Betsy Bug!!!

Butterdezillion Kept Going Out On Limbs and Sawing Them Off Behind Her

Well, Birther Butterdezillion has done it again. This time Alvin Onaka, Ph.D, State Registrar of Hawaii sent a Verification to Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach. Here is a pdf copy of the request, and Onaka’s response:

Kansas Request – Onaka Verification

Here is a copy of the actual Verification:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

And what does our Butterdezillion take from this??? Here, read it in her own words:

Kansas Never Asked if Record Was Valid

What KS SOS Kris Kobach asked to be verified was the same thing that MDEC asked to be verified, with the additional verification that the file number on the White House BC be verified.

Mr. Kobach had received a letter from Attorney Larry Klayman on Sept 7th, pointing out that Onaka had confirmed that the HI birth record for Obama is non-valid. And Kobach’s request – like MDEC’s – was specifically designed to allow Onaka to verify what was asked, EVEN WITH A NON-VALID BIRTH RECORD.

IOW, there is NOTHING to contradict Onaka’s earlier confirmation to AZ SOS Ken Bennett that the HI record for Barack Obama is legally non-valid – and SOS Kobach knows that full well.

http://butterdezillion.wordpress.com/2012/09/21/kansas-never-asked-if-record-was-valid/

If Butterdezillion simply said that Onaka was lying, then all that could have been said in response was that she was being too paranoid and suspicious. And that she couldn’t prove it.  But maintaining that position would not be prima facie evidence of craziness. Onaka could have gotten a cool million under the table to fib. While unlikely, that wouldn’t violate the laws of physics.

But when Butterdezillion says that a Verification is not a Verification, then she flaps off in an erratic fashion to Betsy Bug Land. That’s why they call Betsy Bugs “crazy.”  They flit and flap all over the place, and can’t fly from A to B without visiting H, L, Q, U, W and Z. Then, they still miss B, and land at F. From previous articles (See links in Note 3 below), we discussed how she ended up on the wild tangent that Onaka is somehow verifying legally invalid information. In short, it is because Onaka did not write his Verification in some arbitrary format which suited Butterdezillion’s expectations. She demands that Onaka separately verify each one of the 43 items of information on the birth certificate.

The law does not require this. The Hawaiian statute is short:

HRS §338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

There is no legal requirement that each item on a birth certificate be separately and expressly verified.  See the bolded section above  in the statute. Section (b) of the statute leaves the individual listing of facts to the APPLICANT.  By the very act of issuing a Verification, the State of Hawaii confirms the facts AS STATED BY THE APPLICANT.

Notice how in the above Verification, in items 1 and 2,  Onaka verifies that a Certificate of Live Birth exists, in the name of Barack Hussein Obama, II, and that the certificate number is 151 61 10641.  In item 3, Onaka verifies that all the information on the long form image posted at the White House, the one the Birthers allege is forged, matches the information on file in Hawaii.

Yet, this is supposedly NOT a verification of anything according to Butterdezillion Betsy Bug Logic.  She believes that in addition to the 43 pieces of information on the long form birth certificate, that somewhere a master LEGALLY VALID long form exists, with 44 pieces of information, or even more. Information that makes the long form image we all know and love LEGALLY INVALID. We have previously discussed the tortuous and erroneous route she took to arrive at that conclusion.

Now it is time to flitter around like a Betsy Bug and try to figure out where was she going with all that nonsense. Onaka has now verified three times  that Obama was born in Hawaii, and that there is a Certificate of Live Birth in their records. Twice, Onaka has confirmed that all the information on the long forms attached to their respective requests matches the information on file.  This verification certifies  that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

What fact, what 44th piece of information is there which could possibly negate the other facts??? If the information that Obama was born in Hawaii is stated by the applicant and verified, how could that fact NOT be true? Let’s take the worst case scenario. The piece of information which would render Obama ineligible for the Presidency. Let’s assume  the Imaginary LEGALLY VALID copy in the Hawaii records, indicates that Obama was born in Kenya, and then amended to read Hawaii.

Nope. That won’t work. The other facts which have been certified as stated by the applicant indicate that his place of birth is Kapiolani Hospital, and that his doctor is David Sinclair. We’ll have to change more than just that one block.  These are all the blocks which would have had to be amended:

6a. Place of Birth (City) –  Honolulu

6b. Island – Oahu

6c. Name of Hospital – Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital

6d. Is Place of Birth Inside City Limits – Yes block is marked.

19a. Signature of Attendant – Handwritten David A. Sinclair with M.D. block checked.

All right. Perhaps in Betsy Bug Birther World, all this could have happened. I am not sure how an Amended birth certificate could have gotten Dr. Sinclair’s signature on it. Maybe he was a family friend?  Now remember, Butterdezillion hasn’t provided any of the nuts and bolts on how her theory might have worked. Like most Birthers, she just throws out half-baked suspicions and then moves them along to the reality column without doing any of the heavy lifting.

Could have happened magically transforms into did in fact happen. Then the other Birthers parrot the same crap without any of them ever having thought the matter out. For people who are so interested in vetting, they sure don’t spend much time vetting their own theories. Because if they had, they might have noticed one more little block on the long form image

23. Evidence for Delayed Filing or Alteration – Blank.

That’s right. Part of what Onaka verified is the information showing that there was no delayed filing, or alteration. What was that Butterdezillion said in the last post about her:

The WH BC and the real one do not match because the real one has additional markings. Everything that’s actually ON the fake BC is on the real one, and that’s what he verified. But everything that is on the real one is NOT on the fake one.

So, if there is a REAL ONE, a LEGALLY VALID one,  then it also has a blank in Box 23, indicating no delays in filing and no alterations.

Nuff said.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is the Log Lady from the TV series Twin Peaks. Wiki says:

Margaret Lanterman, better known as the Log Lady, is a character in the television series Twin Peaks (1990–1991), created by Mark Frost and David Lynch. The character makes semi-regular appearances in both seasons, and is played by Catherine E. Coulson, who also very briefly reprised the role for a single scene in the prequel film Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me.

The Log Lady is a fixture in the town of Twin Peaks by the time of Laura Palmer’s murder, and most residents in the town regard her as crazy. This is mainly due to her habit of always carrying a small log in her arms, with which she seems to share a psychic connection, often dispensing advice and visions of clairvoyance which she claims come from the log; prior to the murder, she delivers moving and cryptic warnings to Laura Palmer herself. The Log Lady does not interpret the messages transmitted by the log, but instead functions as a medium for the information it conveys.

For the Image Easter Egg see this exchange provided at IMDB ,Twin Peaks: Episode #1.2″ (1990)

Log Lady: I heard you speaking about Laura Palmer?
Dale Cooper: Yes?
Log Lady: One day my log will have something to say about this. My log saw something that night.
Dale Cooper: Really. What did it see?
Log Lady: Ask it.
[Cooper hesitates]
Log Lady: I thought so.
[walks away]

Log Lady: I carry a log – yes. Is it funny to you? It is not to me. Behind all things are reasons. Reasons can even explain the absurd. Do we have the time to learn the reasons behind the human being’s varied behavior? I think not. Some take the time. Are they called detectives? Watch – and see what life teaches.

Note 2. Betsy Bugs. The Betsy Bug is this little fellow, who flies about in crazy random fashions. From Wiki:

Adult Odontotaenius Disjunctis

Passalidae is a family of beetles known variously as “bessbugs”,[1] “bess beetles”,[1] “betsy beetles”[1] or “horned passalus beetles”.[2] Nearly all of the 500-odd species are tropical; species found in North America are notable for their size, ranging from 20–43 mm, for having a single “horn” on the head, and for a form of social behavior unusual among beetles.

They are subsocial (brood caring) beetles living in groups in rotting logs. They care for their young by preparing food for them and helping the larvae construct the pupal case. Both adults and larvae must consume adult feces which have been further digested by microflora for a time; an arrangement that might be described as a sort of external rumen.

In addition, they are also able to produce fourteen acoustical signals, more than many vertebrates. Adults produce the sounds by rubbing the upper surface of the abdomen against the hind wings. The larvae produce the sounds by rubbing the third leg against a striated area on the coxa of the second leg.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passalidae

So, they recycle poop and make a lot of noise? Yep, they must be  Birthers!

Note 3. Links: Here are links to previous Butterdezillion articles:

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/butterdezillion-and-the-unwritten-law-of-magic-spells/

https://birtherthinktank.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/the-strange-universe-of-butterdezillion-or-all-mimsy-were-the-borogoves/


The Strange Universe Of Butterdezillion (Or, All Mimsy Were The Borogoves)

WARNING! Trying To Untangle One Of Butterdezillion’s Arguments Can Be Hazardous To Your Health!!!

Well, I have been putting this chore off for quite a while. I wanted to write something about Birther Butterdezillion  before, but to be honest, I was  just scared to death to start in on one of her arguments. The few times in the past when I attempted to untangle whatever point she was trying to make,  the effort ended in frustration, tears, and clumps of hair laying about the room.

I finally figured out this was because I was trying to discover where her logic had broken down.  But, that requires that you have some sort of logical trail to follow in the first place. With Butterdezillion, there is no “logic” or “consistency” as we know those concepts here on Planet Earth.  And, I do not mean this in a negative sense.

I am convinced that Butterdezillion’s Mind  partially resides in some other weird dimension where Time, Space, and Causality dance to the beat of different drummers. In her Universe, Alpha does not necessarily precede Omega. If does not precede then,  but instead, follows then. At least sometimes, because if if consistently followed then, then you could develop some sort of system to approach her work.  But for her, patterns seem to come and go randomly.

Much like Einstein back in the day, there are very few people on this Planet who can even conceive of what she is talking about, and most of those are institutionalized. I think when someone tries to follow her arguments, their axon and neurons and synapses begin to reconnect in strange ways never meant for humans. Play her games long enough and weird Lovecraftian shapes, with tentacles, start floating through the walls and ceilings.

Several weeks ago, before I tackled this project, I tried an experiment.  I remembered seeing an old Twilight Zone episode, where a little girl falls through an inter-dimensional hole behind her bed. She can’t find her way back.  Her father can hear her but not find her.  So, he calls a friend, and together they find the hole. However, when the men popped their heads through the hole it was like down was up, and then sideways, and then things moving left were really moving right.  Anyone entering the hole would be lost. So, one of the men tied a rope to the other, and went through the opening.  Her little dog, operating on some instinctual directional impulse, was able to find the child and guide her back to the hole, where  they all got pulled out just before the hole closed up.

This got me to thinking. Sooo,  I borrowed my mother’s  Shih Tzu, Gilbert, and tied a 25 foot electrical cord to his collar and began reading a Butterdezillion blog to him.  I put plugs in my ears so that one of us could stay in this dimension and operate the cord.  I tried to convince Gilbert to poke his nose up against the computer screen, but he did not seem to be interested in this at all. Although he did lick the screen once or twice.  But nothing apparently happened, so I took him home.

The next day my mother called and asked what I had done to Gilbert. She said he started having epileptic seizures and she had to rush him to the vet, who gave her some doggie Valiums.  For the dog, not her. Now whenever Gilbert starts seizing, she pops a half valium in his mouth and he calms right down.  I can’t prove this had anything to do with my experiment, but I do find this indirect confirmation that one should approach Butterdezillion’s writings with respect and caution.

Sooo, I am preparing by drinking some Franzia White Zinfadel wine and two Jager/Red Bull bombs, and then diving in. I figure the liquor will lubricate the axons and synapses so they can more easily slide back into shape when I return. I am also tying one end of the 25 foot electrical cord around my waist and the other end to a very heavy armoire so I can rappel myself back into this dimension.  Sooo, Here Goes!

First, here is Butterdezillion’s latest creation:

http://butterdezillion.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/wheel-of-fortune-v-family-feud-final.pdf

and here is a pdf of it, in case that becomes un-linked or her whole blog slides off into the 11th Dimension:

Butterdezillion’s Wheel Of Fortune v. Family Feud

Now the whole point of her post is that the recent verification of Obama birth certificate information by Hawaiian Alvin Onaka to Arizonian Ken Barnett doesn’t actually verify the information, but instead indirectly confirms that  the birth certificate information is either false or the whole birth certificate is legally invalid.

Here are the 3 documents that Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett sent to Hawaii. First is the “Form” request for verification, with 6 blocks of information filled in: (Click on all images to enlarge.)

Notice that this is a FORM request for a Certified Copy of Birth Record that has been hand modified into a Request for Verification In Lieu of Certified Copy. As part of filling out the form, there are six pieces of REQUIRED information that have been typed in relating to the actual Birth Record: (1) Name on Certificate (2) A block for Sex (3) Date of Birth (4) Place of Birth (5) Father’s Name  (6) Mother’s Name . There are other blocks that are filled in relating to administrative matters, such as the Name of Requestor and Address of Requestor.

Next is his Supplemental Request:

Ken Bennett wants Verification of 10 other pieces of information in addition to the six items on the above form, and verification of the birth certificate copy he attached.

And finally, since both Bennett’s and Onaka mention it was attached, a copy of Obama’s birth certificate:

Both Bennett and Onaka call the document attached to the Request, the “Certificate of Live Birth.”  The short form is called a “Certification of Live Birth”, so we can reasonably assume that the above document is the one attached to the Request.

In Response to these three items, Onaka provides:

Notice that Onaka verifies the long form birth certificate in its entirety; the 10 pieces of information on the supplemental request by specifically typing them out; AND certifies the “facts of the vital event.”

And, from page 1 of her Internet Article, here is the applicable Hawaiian law on the process of Verification:

§338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

Now, to a normal person reading this on Planet earth, it looks like Onaka just verified everything on the long form, which includes everything on the Request for Verification and the Supplemental Request. Additionally, Onaka specifically verifies the 10 pieces of information on the Supplemental Request. Finally, Onaka certifies the facts of the vital event, which were typed in the Request for Verification, and which occur in the exact same fashion on the long form attachment.

According to the law cited by Butterdezillion (b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.  Well, the applicant was Ken Bennett, and the 6 facts he stated were  (1) Name on Certificate; (2) A block for Sex, Male; (3) Date of Birth; (4) Place of Birth; (5) Father’s Name; and  (6) Mother’s Name.

By her own recital of law, the act of Verification is also certification of the above 6 facts stated by the applicant . Yet, Butterdezillion is neither happy nor convinced. The Verification of Birth, and the certification and verification of the facts of birth, simply do not agree with her preconceived notions.  And what is the source of her discontent???

It is this. Onaka did not specifically list the 6 facts above along with the 10 items on the form Request for Verification. It matters not to her that Onaka certified and verified the whole damn long form, which includes all that information. It matters not that Onaka specifically verified the hospital as the Kapiolani  Maternity and Gynecological Hospital. Perhaps in her wormhole universe, there is another Kapiolani Hospital in Mombasa, Kenya???

It matters not to Butterdezillion that Onaka included 2 more items in his specific verification, those being that a birth certificate is on file showing that Barack Hussein Obama, II was born in Honolulu, Hawaii. And this is really the only fact on the Birth Certificate that matters. Being born in Hawaii makes him a natural born citizen, end of story. Who really cares, as a political matter, who his father is outside of The National Enquirer and World Net Daily???  Finally, it matters not to her that Bennett, the applicant, stated 6 facts in his Request, and got a Verification, and that the:

A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

In Butterdezillion Dimension, not only is this not a verification, it is indirect confirmation that the birth certificate is legally invalid. Let’s put on our ropes and slip into her dimension for a moment:

On Wheel of Fortune contestants take turns guessing what letters are in a mystery word or phrase. If a guess is correct, all the tiles having that letter light up, Vanna flips the tiles to show the letters, and the contestant is closer to solving the puzzle.

That’s also how a Hawaii verification of birth works too. An applicant fills out a form, “guessing” the true facts of a person’s birth, and the HI registrar writes back verifying as true whichever “guesses” match what is on a legally-valid record. If the lights don’t go off on a particular “guess” it’s either because it doesn’t match the record or because the record it matches isn’t legally valid so the true birth facts cannot be legally known. The statute does not allow discretion for the Department of Health to simply ignore some items that were requested to be verified (emphasis mine):

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett filled out that web form (Exhibit A, attached at end of this report or all exhibits can be seen here) guessing that Barack Hussein Obama II’s true birth facts are what Obama’s posted birth certificate claims: gender = male; date of birth = Aug 4, 1961; city of birth = Honolulu, HI; island of birth = Oahu; mother = Stanley Ann (Dunham) Obama; father = Barack Hussein Obama.

HI State Registrar Alvin Onaka sent back a letter (Exhibit C) verifying that they have a birth certificate for Obama, but the lights didn’t go off for any of those birth facts Bennett guessed on the application. In an attached additional request (Exhibit B) Bennett asked Onaka to verify that an attached copy of Obama’s posted long-form was a “true and accurate representation of the original record on file”. Onaka wouldn’t verify that either but did verify that the birth facts claimed on the posted long-form matched the birth facts claimed on the original record at the HDOH.

Even though the claims matched, none could be verified as the true facts because the record on file is not legally valid. That is the logical conclusion. Dr. Onaka indirectly confirmed that Obama’s birth record is not legally valid.

Maybe I have been “in” too long, but I get the Wheel of Fortune analogy.  But what happens on Wheel of Fortune when you guess the hidden phrase??? Vanna turns over ALL the letters and YOU WIN!  Bennett got all the facts right, and his prize was THE VERIFICATION.  And just like the law says, [Onaka shall furnish] :

1.a verification of the existence of a certificate; and

2. [verification of] any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

First, Bennett gets – 1. verification of the existence of a certificate :

Here in the first 2 items, Onaka provides the Verification of Birth, As Requested.

And then, Bennett gets – 2. [verification of] any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate:

Here is where Onaka verifies the other information that the Applicant provides to be verified.

So, Bennett got everything he asked for.  He even got verification of everything on the Birth Certificate. I can not understand how Onaka can verify the whole dang long form birth certificate, and Birthers still think that something is fishy. What more could you possibly verify as being consistent with the records???  But I think I know what Butterdezillion expected and how it differed from what Bennett got. Here is what he got:

Here is what Bennett got.

And here is what Butterdezillion expected;

Here is what Butterdezillion expected.

Darn, is that a Smiley Face??? Anyway, time to leave Butterdezillion Dimension. If I start having seizures, somebody call my mother. I am sure Gilbert will share his stash with me.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is a construct made from Edvard Munch’s Ashes, which I found at this website which contains many very beautiful images of Knots In Art. Mathematicians take note!:

http://etacar.put.poznan.pl/piotr.pieranski//KnotsInArt.html

Note 2. All Mimsy Were The Borogoves.  I stumbled across this while researching nonsense language from Alice in Wonderland.  From Wiki:

Mimsy Were the Borogoves” is a science fiction short story by Lewis Padgett (a pseudonym of Henry Kuttner and C. L. Moore) that was originally published in the February 1943 issue of Astounding Science Fiction Magazine.[1] It was judged by the Science Fiction Writers of America to be among the best science fiction stories written prior to 1965 and included in the anthology The Science Fiction Hall of Fame Volume One, 1929-1964. In 2007, it was loosely adapted into a feature-length film titled The Last Mimzy.

Millions of years in the future, a post-human scientist experimenting with a time machine sends two boxes with hastily gathered batches of educational toys into the past. The first arrives in the middle of the twentieth century and the second in the latter part of the nineteenth century. Believing the experiment to be a failure when the machines and test objects fail to return, he discontinues his efforts.

The first box of toys travels back to 1942, and is discovered by a seven-year-old boy, Scott Paradine, who takes it home. The toys include a small transparent cube that visibly manifests the holder’s thoughts; a wire maze puzzle employing a fourth dimension; and a detailed anatomical doll that possesses unfamiliar organs and structures. As Scott and his two-year-old sister Emma play with the toys, the psychology of the two develops in unusual ways.

Although their parents are often preoccupied with their own lives, they suspect an anomaly and become worried. They consult with a child psychologist, Rex Holloway, who quickly recognizes the strangeness of the toys, and suspects their origin to be alien. Holloway surmises that the toys are “educating” the children and introducing an “x factor” into Scott’s and Emma’s thought processes. He believes their developing minds are pliable enough to be profoundly affected by the devices.

The toys rapidly guide the Paradine children to construct a pathway into the dimension where the beings of the future live. At Holloway’s direction their parents take the toys away from them; but the children continue their effort.

You sooo have to read the rest of this!!! It fits right in with the Motif:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mimsy_Were_the_Borogoves

Note 3. Link.  Here is the link to Butterdezillion’s Blog:

http://butterdezillion.wordpress.com/


Mindless Blathering Stupid Drivel From Susan Daniels, P.I.

Mr. Lumbergh told me to input the zip codes and I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire.

Well, over the years I have read some pretty stupid stuff from Birthers, but darn if Susan Daniels, P.I. hasn’t just made a meteoric sprint from the Stupid Basement, up the Stupid Stairs, to the Second Tier B-List Of Stupid Birthers alongside the likes of J.B. Williams, Dianna “The Dianna” Cotter, and Miki “The Mad Hawaiian” Booth.  Here is an excerpt from the Internet Article that done it:

Private Investigator Susan Daniels Debunks Obot Myth That Zip Code Clerical Error Caused Obama To Be Issued A Connecticut Social Security Number

Social security numbers, prior to June 2011, were assigned by the residential address of the person who was applying for a number. Hawaii’s zip codes start with 968 and, coincidentally, Connecticut’s start with 068. So it had to be a typo, right? Nope.

When Barack Obama was living in Hawaii, he had three zip codes: 96814, 96822 and 96826. The State of Connecticut has never had the zip codes 06822 or 06826. They did have 06814. It however, is referred to as a “Unique” number. When I contacted the post office in Danbury, where this number originated, I was told by a long-time employee that 06814 was assigned exclusively to the Union Carbide company. (The Union Carbide building opened in 1983 when construction was completed.) He said the post office took it out of service several years ago. Obama allegedly got his CT number of xxx-xx-4425 in March 1977, which can be proven since the person before him -4424 and after him -4429 both got theirs then.

Obama has a CT number. It could never have been legally assigned to him. As a resident of Hawaii, his number should start with 575 or 576. His sister’s starts with 575 and was issued at approximately the same time he started using the CT number: 1986.

Here is the link to the full article, and there is a scribd document included which is supposed to mean something, but I am not sure just what:

http://obamareleaseyourrecords.blogspot.com/2012/08/myth-busted-zip-code-clerical-error.html

Now think about her “proof” for a minute. She has laid out the fact that zip codes are laid out geographically, and then she has done her P.I. work to list all three of Obama’s possible Hawaii zip codes. And then she concludes that since none of the last two digits from the 968 Hawaii area zip code exist in the 068 Connecticut area zip code, then it could not have been a typo that caused Obama to receive a Connecticut social security number.

This is ridiculous and wrong. I will show how it is wrong below, but first I want to show the logical gaps in her ridiculous line of reasoning.  First, Daniels has not provided any factual foundation on the mechanics of entering  zip codes at the Social Security Administration (SSA).  Were the envelopes scanned, or were handwritten numbers coded in some way for computer input?  No answer.

Were all 5 digits of the zip code entered?  Did the SSA have any kind of  zip code validation process to keep up with newly issued zip codes? What were the SSA protocols relating to input errors? Did the entire system shut down if the Union Carbide zip code was coded in??? Daniels claims that she debunked the Typo Myth, but she has provided zero information on what would have happened at the SSA in 1977 if a typo occurred.  She says that zip code 06822 is invalid, but she doesn’t even try to explain what would happen at SSA if that number was input into the system. As explained below, it might have just sailed on through.

Daniels is pretty much just assuming that a typographical mistake could not not happened. Look at Milton Waddams, in the image above, and tell me mistakes don’t happen in offices. Heck, mistakes happen with doctors in operating rooms. They are constantly sewing up victims, I mean patients, with hemostats, golf balls, and the nurse’s left over french fries inside. And Daniels takes the position that typos can’t happen in a government office???

Further, Daniels has provided no information as to whether or not other such anomalies appear with other individuals. I have read that they have, but that is beyond the scope of this article. But, most importantly, she has not provided any information as to whether the SSA computers “talked to” the Postal Service’s computers in 1977. For example, would the SSA computers have any way of knowing that 06814 was assigned to Union Carbide? Or that o6822 and 06826 were unassigned by the postal Service.

How can anyone pretend to debunk the Typo Myth if they have not asked about the above clerical protocols, and have no answer as to how non-existent zip codes may have been treated by the SSA computers???  Why would any sane Birther not ask the same questions I have asked, or recognize that Daniels falls way short of proving her case??? Oops, I think I answered my own question. All the above proves Daniels’ methodology is totally flawed.

Now, let’s examine what obvious facts she overlooked because of her bias or idiocy, take your pick. Here is a zip code map from Wiki:

Notice how there are 10 regions, represented by the digits 0-9. Notice how the next 2 digits are state specific. For example, Alaska’s and California’s zip codes both start with “9”, but the next 2 digits are spread out over five states. Let’s do some math! 1 digit + 2 digits = 3 digits! From this map, a person would never need more than the first three digits to determine what state a person was applying from.

Therefore, the SSA would not need all five digits to assign a state to the applicant. “902XX” would equate to California just the same as “961XX.” Frankly, we don’t know whether the SSA input all  5 digits from the zip codes or not. We can definitely ascertain that they would have had the option of using only the first 3 digits. And that is enough to shoot down Daniels’ claims of debunking the Typo Myth with the particular argument she makes. She can’t prove the final 2 digits meant squat to the SSA.  And beyond that, she hasn’t even tried.

We also know that the SSA only cared about the state of application, and not any more detailed geographical birth or residence information. How do we know this??? Easy, the SSA tells us:

Prior to 1972, cards were issued in local Social Security offices around the country and the Area Number represented the State in which the card was issued. This did not necessarily have to be the State where the applicant lived, since a person could apply for their card in any Social Security office. Since 1972, when SSA began assigning SSNs and issuing cards centrally from Baltimore, the area number assigned has been based on the ZIP code in the mailing address provided on the application for the original Social Security card. The applicant’s mailing address does not have to be the same as their place of residence.   [Note: Daniels was flatly wrong above when she said, “Social security numbers, prior to June 2011, were assigned by the residential address of the person who was applying for a number.”]  Thus, the Area Number does not necessarily represent the State of residence of the applicant, either prior to 1972 or since.

http://www.ssa.gov/history/ssn/geocard.html

As shown above, the first 3 digits of the zip code are all that was necessary for the SSA’s purposes. Susan Daniels, P.I. should have picked up on some of these facts from her own arguments. She was aware that it was the first 3 digits, 068 and 968, that were state specific. Any P.I. worth their salt would have questioned whether or not the final 2 digits had any significance at all.  Any reasonable P.I. would have wanted to know if the SSA had any kind of zip code validation process. Yet, she focuses in on the last two completely unnecessary digits in the zip code to create her Masterpiece of Debunkery. And then prisses around like she proved something.

UPDATE! Reader Gorefan just left this link in the comments section, giving some credence to the idea that states could be identified by the first 3 digits of the zip code. This document is from the IRS:

http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-utl/zip_code_and_state_abbreviations.pdf

Thank you Northland10 (Note 2 below) and Gorefan!!!

Maybe for Susan Daniels, her P.I. stands for Pretty Ignorant???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is the stapler-guy, Milton Waddams, from the 1999 movie, Office Space. Here is a youtube video of poor Milton clips.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91HQNAapgQ8&feature=related

Note 2. UPDATE. Reader Northland10 found some very interesting information about potential Hawaii zip codes that Daniels may have missed, so I am copying and pasting his comment here. Thank you Northland10!!!

So, Susan claims:

When Barack Obama was living in Hawaii, he had three zip codes: 96814, 96822 and 96826.

Yet, on a help page from http://books.google.com/books; Kiplinger’s Personal Finance magazine from Dec 1970, the Zip Code for the insurance commissioner in Honolulu is:

96811

Hmm, there is an 06811 in Danbury, CT.

And, in case she would claim that that was 1970, Google books also has results from the 1980s.

On the same Google Books search, I see the University of Hawaii had the zip code of 96813 in 1979 and 96810 was also active in the 1970s.

How does she know what zip codes Barack had or what mailing address he used on the form? For a PI, she is a very bad researcher.


Dear Miki Booth – TMI Is NOT Your Friend!!!

In A Happier Time, Being A Space Cadet Was A Good Thing

Dear Miki,

How are you? Fine I hope. I was reading your letter about your book, and I have some unsolicited advice for you. Let me give you an analogy.  Suppose for a moment you are the editor, and it is your money that will be used to publish books. Then suppose that someone writes you a letter which says:

Dear Editor,

My book,  How To Make Safe 25% Returns Per Year On Your Stock Market Picks, has received outstanding reviews from members of  The Young Investors Club of New York.  I have been called “The Warren Buffet of Greater Sandusky” in a newspaper article for developing this safe and sure-fire method to earn these high returns.

Now so far, so good, right? The writer has your attention and you are interested.  Heck, you’re even thinking about hocking your jewelry so you can invest. Now for paragraph 2:

I was taught this method by aliens from the Galaxy, Grokk 7, located 3,000 light years from Earth. I was abducted from the weekly Moon Landing Deniers meeting  (of which I am the local coordinator) and taken to the Uranus Space Base, where I was probed every which way but loose.  Afterward, while sharing a drink, one of the Aliens, named Brizzibbit, showed me how to use superior Alien technology to psychically forecast moves in the Stock Market.

Now, somewhere in paragraph 2, I am betting the writer lost you. Probably before you could get to the Uranus Space Base. The reason is that the writer revealed herself to be a crank. Because only cranks believe stuff like this. This is a classic example of TMIToo Much Information.

This is probably why your book is not doing so well. Now, let’s look at your letter.

[Miki Booth

… February 15, 2012

Dear Editor,

My book, Memoirs of a Community Organizer from Hawai’i, debuted on Thursday, February 9 at CPAC the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, DC, to outstanding reviews. My work is the product of three years of investigating and documenting corruption and cover-up of Obama’s illegal election and the lengths his handlers have gone through to keep the truth from seeing the light of day. Obama has stated that his administration would be the most transparent in history but it should be clear by now to everyone that transparency was never his intention.

Now, up to this point  conservatives are probably salivating and waiting to read the juicy details about  Obama’s crimes against Humanity. But now you are about to lose them.  Here is your foray into the world of TMI, with BOLDED notes by me, so that you can gauge the degree to which you are chasing away your audience,  in comparison with the example above.

Obama has all the money and power in the world to silence people like me who challenge his eligibility [I was taught this method by aliens] to serve as President and Commander in Chief of the American Army as mandated by Article II, Section I, Clause 5 of the Constitution. The Democrat Socialist Party and the ruling elite may have succeeded in duping Americans the first time around claiming that Obama is a natural born Citizen [from the Galaxy, Grokk 7, located 3,000 light years from Earth.] but it won’t work for them again if the voices of the ‘silent majority’ are allowed to be heard.

The requirement and term, “Natural born Citizen[I was abducted from the weekly Moon Landing Deniers meeting] apply only to the two highest positions in our federal government. The reason is simply to ensure no outside or foreign interest would breach our national sovereignty and security. “Natural born Citizen[(of which I am the local coordinator)] and “native born[ and taken to the Uranus Space Base, ] are not the same kind of citizen. [where I was probed every which way but loose.] Obama, Sr., was a British national in the colony of Kenya [Afterward, while sharing a drink, one of the Aliens, named Brizzibbit, ] when Obama was born so he was not and can never be a natural born Citizen [showed me how to use superior Alien technology] and is illegally occupying the White House.[to  psychically forecast moves in the Stock Market. ]

Left-wing enablers continue to cover up the truth. Why just today the only bookstore in my area, Chapters in Miami, OK, owned by Ann Neal, has just banned my book.

Miki Booth
[address and phone number redacted]

You see, the plain fact is that outside of the Birther Echo Chambers, people just think Birthers are crazy.  Particularly people who are smart enough to be editors. Birther legal theories don’t make any sense, Birther cases get thrown out of the courts left and right, and frankly, you pretty much have to a 4+ rolling conspiracy theorist to believe the Birther stuff.

As a practical matter, I would at least remove all the Birther references from you letter. I am not saying this to be mean to you. Writing a book is something to be very proud of.  But, I hope you start thinking about these issues, and maybe start spending more time with sane people who do not believe this delusional Birther nonsense.  It will give you a better perspective on Reality.

Good luck,

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: This is my second “advice” Internet Article in one day.  Am I turning into Dear Abby or something??? Will I start taking in stray cats??? OMG, is my biological clock starting to tick???


Abercrombie Punks Out!!! – The Obama Drama Continues!

Coward - One, who in an emergency, thinks with his feet. (Ambrose Bierce)

Gov. Neal Abercrombie of Hawaii punked out of his promise to put an end to the Birther controversy concerning WHERE Obama was born. The headlines have been all over the place for the last few weeks. First, Abercrombie vowed to put an end to questions out of respect for Obama’s parents, supposedly his good friends. Abercrombie started out knowing all about the infant Obama, then back-pedaled that he actually hadn’t seen the infant of his alleged good friends.

Then, the headline proclaimed Abercrombie couldn’t find the documents, presumably the Long Form Birth Certificate. Then, yes Abercrobmie had found them after all! Ooopsies, it wasn’t the Long Form Birth Certificate after all, it was some kind of entry in a index buried in the bowels of the archives. Oooh, the Chthonian Imagery!!!

Abercrombie the Explorer, on his hands and knees, lantern in hand, digging his way through boxes and file cabinets in darkened labyrinths, pith helmet on his head, searching for the lost map, er uh Long Form, while pythons and painted pygmies glared menacingly at him from the shadowy recesses of bankers boxes. . .Oh wait! Frujinko or whatever her name was said she had seen and verified the original birth certificate. Darn cell phones must not work in Hawaii, or he would have just called her and asked where it was.

Now, we know not whether or what Abercrombie may have found, but whatever it was or wasn’t we will not get to see it! Oh no, the Hawaiian privacy laws prevent it! What??? A document, the PICTURE of which is supposedly on the Internet for all to see is protected by privacy laws??? OH Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Here is what the story says:

Democratic Gov. Neil Abercrombie will end his quest to prove President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii because it’s against state law to release private documents, his office said today. State Attorney General David Louie told the governor he can’t disclose an individual’s birth documentation without a person’s consent, Abercrombie spokeswoman Donalyn Dela Cruz said. “There is nothing more that Gov. Abercrombie can do within the law to produce a document,” said Dela Cruz. “Unfortunately, there are conspirators who will continue to question the citizenship of our president.”

Abercrombie drops effort to disclose more information on Obama birth certificate

Oh you just betcha we will “continue to question the citizenship of our president.” Some of us will even ask the more important question, not WHERE was Obama born, but WHY a U.S. President would continue to leave this very simple question un-resolved for three years??? WHY??? There are no good reasons. There are several bad choices you can pick from (KISS):

1. KENYA. He is born in Kenya.
2. IGNORANT. Obama is too ignorant to think of the simple answer.
3. SNOBBY. Obama thinks Americans are too stupid to believe the REAL THING!
4. SLIMY. Obama thinks it is OK to make some Americans look crazy if it gets him votes.

Meanwhile, the Obama Drama continues. My investment advice for 2011- – -go long Orville Redenbacher and butter!

My BFF, Fabia Sheen, helped me write this!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter


It Depends On The Meaning Of The Words “Birth Certificate”!!!

I'm Gonna Wash Those Birthers Right Out Of My Hair!!! Or Maybe Not.

It is said that history repeats itself and the recent tsunami of confusion that has washed over the Hawaii Governor’s office is proof of this. Gov. Neal Abercrombie pledged that he would personally put an end to the questions of WHERE Obama was born by releasing documentary proof. Which was assumed by most reasonable people to mean the Long From Birth Certificate with verifiable information on it. Much like the infamous statement by former President Clinton, however, we are finding that for Obama Apologists, words sort of mean whatever they need them to mean at the moment.

For refreshers, let us look at President Clinton’s statement:

“It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is. If the–if he–if ‘is’ means is and never has been, that is not–that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement….Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of sexual relations with Ms. Lewinsky, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true.”

Uh, yeah! This really wasn’t a hard question. The correct answer would have been, “Yes.”

Now Gov. Neal Abercrombie is having similar problems with what constitutes proof. As an English Internet Article says:

Pressure was mounting on Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie today amid increasing confusion over whether President Obama was born there. Abercrombie said on Tuesday that an investigation had unearthed papers proving Obama was born in Hawaii in 1961. He told Honolulu’s Star-Advertiser: ‘IT actually exists in the archives, written down,’ he said.

But it became apparent that what had been discovered was an unspecified listing or notation of Obama’s birth that someone had made in the state archives and not a birth certificate. And in the same interview Abercrombie suggested that a long-form, hospital-generated birth certificate for Barack Obama may not exist within the vital records maintained by the Hawaii Department of Health.

Daily Mail Internet Article

The confusion is particularly perplexing when one considers what the former Hawaii DOH person, Frujinko whatever, said

“Therefore, I as Director of Health for the State of Hawai‘i, along with the Registrar of Vital Statistics who has statutory authority to oversee and maintain these type of vital records, have personally seen and verified that the Hawai‘i State Department of Health has Sen. Obama’s original birth certificate on record in accordance with state policies and procedures.”

Soooo, she supposedly saw and VERIFIED the original birth certificate was there, but Abercrombie can’t find IT, or maybe he can, but who knows.

Uh, yeah! This really isn’t a hard thing to do. Or will we hear, “I guess it depends on what the meaning of IT is”??? If you have the Long Form Birth Certificate, then produce IT, so there can be a resolution of WHERE Obama was born. Which still DOESN’T resolve the much more important question of WHY it has taken Obama three years or more to do something. Oh wait! Obama STILL isn’t doing anything.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter


Objection! Hearsay!

She Just Had to Clear Her Name!!!

Objection! Hearsay!

It is being widely reported all over the place that Gov. Lingle of Hawaii LIED like a dog about the hospital where Obama was born. Being “fair and balanced” at Squeeky, I must OBJECT! Another woman is being FALSELY ACCUSED of being a LIAR.

Gov. Lingle isn’t right and she has made a mistake. But she ISN’T A LIAR. Here is the reason why. Listen to what she said:

“So I had my health director, who is a physician by background, go personally view the birth certificate in the birth records of the Department of Health, and we issued a news release at that time saying that the president was, in fact, born at Kapi’olani Hospital in Honolulu, Hawaii.”

What Gov. Lingle is doing is “HEARSAYING” something. She is just repeating what somebody told her. SO THERE, we have proven Gov. Lingle ISN’T A LIAR. She can’t lie about Obamaa being born at Krapaloony Hospital because she doesn’t know ONE WAY OR THE OTHER!

Now, we must TAKE HER TO TASK for not looking at the alleged birth certificate HERSELF instead of having somebody else do it. She has got herself into a mess now, where she is wasting a lot of time talking about something she hasn’t seen. Another fine mess caused by Obama not just COUGHING UP the Long Form.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter