Tag Archives: hurt democrats

Obama and the Magic Beans!!!

The Wizard Explains Derivatives To Jack

Everybody knows the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, but just in case you don’t,  here’s a brief recap.  Jack lives with his mother, who is a 99er, and has completely run out of money. Jack’s mother unplugs the XBox, and rousts Jack off the couch, to go to market with the only remaining asset,  Buttercup the cow.  Along the way Jack meets a sharp Wall Street derivatives trader who manages to con Jack out of the cow for a handful of magic beans.  When Jack gets back home his mother is distraught, and unable to afford an attorney, throws the silly magic beans out the back window, and hocks Jack’s XBox.

During the night, the magic beans grow into a huge beanstalk, which Jack proceeds to climb. At the top, Jack finds a goose that lays golden eggs, which he steals from its rightful owner.  Jack slides back down the stalk, and chops it down to evade apprehension, and everybody lives happily ever after.  This is probably a mythological reference to finding the Greater Fool, and destroying the document trail, but that is a story for another time.

But what if the beans had not been magic??? What if the beans were just plain beans???  Such is the state of affairs between the Democrats and Obama.

Because Obama,  much like Jack, has taken something good, solid and productive, like a cow, and swapped it in for the magic beans of Birtherism.  Rather than work to stop the Bush tax cuts, or truly rein in Wall Street, Obama has relied on the magic beans of Birtherism to ensure his re-election. Rather than honestly focus in like a laser on jobs, or exorcise the demons of speculation from the price of oil, Obama has bet his bank on the magic beans of Birtherism, assuming that either sympathy or fear will impel his faithful base to the polls in numbers sufficient to guarantee a second term.

Strangely, this bet did not pay off in 2010.  In what was widely regarded as a referendum on Obama, the Republicans won seats in record numbers and  a majority in the House.  Yet, Obama is still in his backyard, with a bottle of Miracle Grow trying to coax the sprouts upwards. His minions are complicit in this, and if you doubt it, simply watch the media response to Donald Trump. There is more coverage on the missing birth certificate than on Trump’s pledge to confront OPEC and end the trade imbalance with China.

And one can not help but wonder at the Obama supporters. Do they really think the Spectre of Obama “coughing up” a long form birth certificate is going to have the same effect as Lyndon Johnson’s Mushroom Cloud??? Do they really think a majority of voters are going to duck and cover in fear and trembling lest the true birth weight of Obama becomes known???

Sadly, for the Democrats, this is the real world.  They have contentedly swapped Buttercup, the cow, for a handful of beans. Truly, they don’t know beans.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter


For Birthers Only!!! TOP SECRET!!! NO Obots Allowed!!!

This Affair Is Top Secret!!!

Birthers:

What we all have to remember is that the Stupid Obots are the worst enemy that Obama has, and that makes them our best friends, whether we like it or not. Don’t forget: Right now we are winning!!! 58% of Americans have some degree of doubt about where Obama was born!!! This was in August 2010 according to a CNN poll. The Obots are too stupid to realize this, and they try to find ways to confirm their bias and not believe it. We should let them. Then they will continue to UNDERESTIMATE us!!!

Lookit this way, too. If Obots had any sense, they would just tell Obama to cough up his bumpy Birth Certificate into PUBLIC and WHOOSH!!! there would go a whole lot of us!!! But the Obots would rather tease us than help Obama, soooo we have to use that!!! If they win something IN COURT without coughing up a birth certificate, they really don’t win anything because everybody will just wonder why Obama keeps hiding it!!!

Soooo, when the Obots brag about it, that is OK, because remember the REAL FIGHT is at the POLLS!!! The last time we just SHELLACKED them there, and they still are too stupid to get it, so let’s use it while we can.

If they cuss at us and call us bad names, don’t get too mad and say really bad things to them. Because everybody is watching and if they cuss and act stupid, it just makes them look bad. Just answer their arguments WITH LOGIC and not cussing, even though they deserve it!!!

The Obots help to keep the Birther issue alive, and the more they refuse to do the simple common sense thing and cough up something bumpy into PUBLIC, the BETTER for us!!! Texas is passing a Birther Bill, so probably before 2012 Obama will have to cough something up and we will see what happens. If he is from Hawaii or Conneticut, and not Kenya, it will be all over for us if we are not careful.

Which is why I say we have to become QUESTIONERS, and put our emphasis on WHY Obama hasn’t coughed up anything for 2 1/2 years (since July 13, 2008). Just remember KISS, which is more about WHY than WHERE:

1. KENYA. He is born in Kenya.
2. IGNORANT. Obama is too ignorant to think of the simple answer.
3. SNOBBY. Obama thinks Americans are too stupid to believe the REAL THING!
4. SLIMY. Obama thinks it is OK to make some Americans look crazy if it gets him votes.

Plus, KISS just drives the Obots crazy!!! They sure don’t like the other choices and if you use it right, it just makes them go APESH*T CRAZY!!!

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter