Tag Archives: long form birth certificate

A Black Night For Team Arpaio???


He Must Have Gotten Some Strange Kicks From Denial???

Team Arpaio and the Cold Case Posse aren’t exactly having the best of times lately.  They can’t get a real, live prosecutor interested in their silly report that concludes Obama’s online image of his long form birth certificate is a forgery.  After a year and half, they can’t even release the report to the public for fear of ridicule.  On a good day, Republican congressmen merely ignore them. On most days, which are not good days, the congressmen cancel out meetings with them as soon as they find out what kind of idiot with whom they accidentally scheduled a meeting. Nightly, they pray for Alzheimers to strike Republican leaders so they will finally find someone to agree with them.

Human beings are proving a huge obstacle, and now, the mean old Obots, particularly the blogger, NBC,  have gone and made things worse by uncovering the source of the online birth certificate anomalies – – -A Xerox Workcentre machine which does all the strange and weird things that so discomfort the Birthers.  RC, of the RC Radio Blog, has many articles up on this issue, including a hilarious video:


There are several more articles at the link which explain in simple terms how the online anomalies occurred. It looks convincing to me! The Obots have not been silent about their discovery! After sneaking their way onto Gallups’ radio show, the cat is out of the bag in the Birther world. Finally, Carl Gallups and Mike Zullo had to address the issues about the Xerox 7655. Sooo, how did they handle it???


Deputy Mike “The Arizona Kid” Zullo recently appeared on Gallups radio show, and here is a transcript of their remarks, from the first part of the show:

Gallups: What’s your response to these Obots?

(3:54)  Mike Zullo: I think they’re delusional. I think they’re deluded that they are some vessel of authority somewhere. I don’t know in what stratosphere.  But I don’t owe them anything. I have never engaged them in two years. I don’t really pay a lot of attention to them. And what little I do know of them, aside from the identities of a few, and one that I am intently focused on now. It really just seems to me to be nothing more than a big disinformation campaign. It goes beyond even misinformation. It is disinformation. And for a definition, it’s false information that is deliberately, and a lot of times covertly spread, in order to influence public opinion, or to obscure the truth. And that to me, is about what it is, so to even deal with them as far as I’m concerned is brain damage. I don’t see any reason to do it.

(5:22) Carl Gallups: They are absolutely ever-loving out of their delusional minds. I mean they are absolutely mentally challenged.


They went on to discuss the Xerox Workcentre and characterized it as not relevant to the investigation, and stated that the investigation had moved well beyond that point. Which only casts more suspicions on the underlying Cold Case Posse report. If it is that great, why is it still secret after a year and a half? Why don’t any prosecutors seem interested in it? Why is it that Deputy Zullo has to go to Washington D.C. and beg the VIPs and congressman to do something about it? Why does he keep getting rejected?

If Deputy Zullo has any legitimate questions why this is happening, perhaps he needs to do something he has refused to do for two years- and engage with the Obots and anti-Birthers.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1975 film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. This particular scene occurs when the King meets the Black Knight.  Here is a youtube video of this particular scene:

PoopPac Downloads The Honey Wagon!!! (Or, Birthers Run Downhill)

CDR Kerchner Worked Tirelessly To Spread His Message

The Article II Superpac, aka PoopPac (People Opposing Obama’s Presidency PAC) made the news at ObamaReleaseYourRecords with an ad that ran in the Washington Times. The banner reads  BIGGER THAN WATERGATE.  Here is a link to the Internet Article:


And here is a copy of the ad:

The whole premise of the ad above relies upon the fact that Sheriff Arpaio and The Cold Case Posse’s found the long form birth certificate image to be a forgery.  Well, let’s play a little game and we’ll call it “What’s My Lie???” Let’s assume for a moment that the long form birth certificate is a forgery! Let’s try to discover what information on it would  actually be something Congress should be interested in.

In a previous Internet Article, I made a list of all the 43 pieces of information included on the long form. Here is again. Just refer to pages 3 and 4 for the list:

Obama Forgery Test

Now, let’s narrow this list down and see how many of these items, if false, would make Obama ineligible to be President.  Well, we get one whole item, which if false, would make Obama ineligible:

6a. Place of Birth (City) –  Honolulu

That’s it. If the time of Obama’s birth is false, he is still eligible. If his father isn’t Barack Obama Sr., he is still eligible. If the doctor wasn’t David Sinclair, he is still eligible. The same with every other item of information, except the place of birth. Everything else on the birth certificate could be false, forged, materially altered, erased, or created out of whole cloth, etc.,  BUT, if Obama was born in the state of Hawaii, then he is eligible.

I guess the purist might point out if Obama’s parents were both foreign diplomats, or invading soldiers, then Obama wouldn’t be eligible, but so far even the Birthers haven’t argued that. No, the only real item of potential forgery that would make Obama ineligible is his place of birth.

Sooo, has Sheriff Joe or Deputy Zullo, or any other member of the posse proven, or even alleged, that Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii???  Nope. Nada. None.  In fact, they have not been able to prove to any degree whatsoever that any single one of those 43 pieces of information contained in the long form image is false, forged, materially altered, erased, or created out of whole cloth, etc.

In fact, Arpaio and Zullo admit that there is NOTHING which criminally implicates Obama in their investigation. This is from a transcript of the July 12, 2012 press conference, at pages 26 and 27 :

Female reporter: Are you insinuating that the President in any way – are you saying that the President has anything to do with this?

Zullo: I am not. I am not, ma’am. I don’t know what Mr. Obama knows about this. I, I trulydon’t.

Arpaio: I said on March one, right from the beginning; we are not accusing the President of any crime. We are strictly investigating a possible government forged document, and that’s the way we’re still going with this, we’re talking about documents.

Reporter: If that, if that’s. I, I don’t get that sir, because if this is a crime, and it’s the President’s
birth certificate, how could he not be accused of a crime? How could you not be accusing himof a crime?

Arpaio: We’re not saying that he knew about it. Did we, did I ever say that he knew about it?

Reporter: So you’re telling me he doesn’t know about this birth certificate … [unintelligible]

Arpaio: I have no idea. [Zullo and Arpaio whispering unintelligibly]

Zullo: Yeah, let me … [unintelligible] I think that’s a great question.[Several reporter talking over each other and over Zullo – unintelligible]

Zullo: [Difficult to understand due to cross-talking] Let me explain this to you; let me explain this to you, sir. Sir. I think I said it March 1st [interruption] – hang on – hang on a minute. Sir, sir; what I said in March 1st. None of us could validate with any certainty where we were born. We weren’t cognoscente of the event. Ok? For all I know, Mr. Obama’s been told this his whole life.I don’t know. It might even be he was born in Hawaii.

What we are telling you is [points to the Long Form Birth Certificate while shaking his head], that document isn’t real. That’s the difference; that’s the distinction in law. We’re talking about a forged document being used, maybe mistakenly, by Mr. Obama. But somebody knows how it got there. The Department of Health didn’t create it; didn’t create the file [points to the Long Form Birth Certificate]. Somebody else did. That mere fact means the Department of Health,that would have the only legal authority to make a copy of a document like that or even render an abstract; the only legal authority to do it did not. That’s a falsified document.


I like hyperbole as much as the next girl, but really now, an investigation that can’t disprove any of the 43 items of information is sooo wonderful and important as to be BIGGER THAN WATERGATE???  An investigation where the investigators admit that Obama may have indeed been born in Hawaii is supposed to have any credibility at all???  

I think it is more accurate to say the results of the investigation is browner and stinkier than the stuff the farmer in the image above is spreading on the fields.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Honey Wagon.

Wiki and Wiki Talk say:

Honey wagon” is a facetious traditional general term for “a wagon or truck for collecting and carrying excrement or manure”, such as a cesspool emptier, which serves as a sanitation system including at campgrounds and marinas.

manure spreader or muck spreader or honey wagon is an agricultural machine used to distribute manure over a field as a fertilizer. A typical (modern) manure spreader consists of a trailer towed behind a tractor with a rotating mechanism driven by the tractor’s power take off (PTO). Truck mounted manure spreaders are also common in North America.

Joseph Oppenheim, a schoolmaster in the small town, concerned that his older male students often missed school loading and spreading manure, patented a wagon that, behind the drag chain and two beaters, incorporated a steel axle with several wooden paddles attached to the shaft at an angle to throw the manure outward in a broad pattern eliminating the necessity for manual spreading. On October 18, 1899, Oppenheim began to produce his new manure spreader, incorporating the “widespread” paddle device. Neighbors soon referred to it as “Oppenheim’s new idea” and Oppenheim adopted this name for his business.

The origin of the term “honeywagon” goes way back to outhouses not just recent porta potties… thought I’d just mention that you might want to check more into why it is called this…what I was told by parents who remember Honeywagons from in the early 20th century: the name had nothing to do with the color of anything dripping from “tanks”…they said they were called that tongue-in-cheek and the Honeywagon people were “Honeydippers” since they literally had to dip the waste from the hole in the ground in the outhouse to clean/empty them when they were getting full. Like beekeepers, who sold honey kept in large pots or barrels, would do to remove the honey to put in containers for the customer using a large dipper, the other honeydippers “dipped” the “honey”/waste from the privvie (sp?) and put it in the barrels on the honeywagon (which was actually a real wagon pulled by horses) and, as they drove thru the streets of the town to do their jobs, the flies, of course, would be attracted by the “fragrance” of the “honey” and buzz the wagon like they would buzz around honey skeps and hives and trees containing honeycombs.

The Quest For The Holy Grail Of Birtherdom!!! (Or, The Lak’ Ness Monster Lawsuit)

Verily, Were We Not In Our Cups, We Would Have Seen It Sooner!!!

To date, the Birthers and Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Cold Case Posse have all come up short in getting access to Obama’s long form birth certificate. The Birthers complain the document is a forgery, and has never been introduced by either Obama or his attorneys into evidence in any court.  This is after 100 plus  Birther losses in court. Well, I think I have the answer for them! The lawsuit they can’t lose, where they will either get access to the long form or get it introduced into the record where it can be compared to the online image. And I am not joking.

First, a little background. Sometimes, you just have to think outside of the box to accomplish your goals. An example of this is Eliot Ness and Al “Scarface” Capone. As Jonathan Eig wrote, at The Huffington Post:

In 1931, when Al Capone was convicted of income tax evasion and sentenced to 11 years in prison, the legendary gangster complained that he got a raw deal.

A reasonable argument can be made that Capone was punished for his long list of perceived and actual crimes, not just for his failure to pay income tax. The income-tax charge wasn’t the most precise weapon for bringing Capone to justice, but it was the quickest and surest, and the government preferred not to waste time.

[T]he prosecutor in the Capone case–the U.S. attorney for the Northern District of Illinois, George E.Q. Johnson–was among the first to hit on it: By separating Capone’s failure to pay taxes from his other crimes, he made his case almost impossible to lose. He didn’t have to prove that Capone earned his money through criminal conduct, only that he made money and failed to pay income tax.

The federal government had tried for years to build a strong case against the gangster, but he was slippery. He delegated the outfit’s dirty work and left his name on none of the organization’s bank records. But Herbert Hoover assumed the presidency on a law-and-order platform, and he was determined to show the government’s strength–even as the Great Depression began to drag down his administration and the nation. Hoover ordered his top cabinet officials to use all available manpower and spare no expense in going after Capone.

They settled on tax evasion almost as a last resort.


Now what if the Birthers could pull off something like that??? What if instead of all these silly suits based on 39 social security numbers, or Connecticut social security numbers, or alleged Indonesian adoptions – – – what if the Birthers had a darn near sure-fire lawsuit where they actually had legal standing, AND a legally valid reason to either see Obama’s long form birth certificate, or get him to introduce it into court.

Sooo, here is a way for the Birthers to get around all the legal logjams they have been caught up in- – – Deceptive Trade Practice Acts!!! Both the Federal government and most states provide for these kinds of actions. Here is a website with a general recap of these laws:


As the article says, there are broad restrictions on various types of conduct. One is:

Represents that goods or services have sponsorship, approval, characteristics, ingredients, uses, benefits, or qualities that they do not have or that a person has a sponsor-ship, approval, status, affiliation, or connection that he does not have.

In other words, the consumer buys something that is advertised as one thing, and actually gets something else. OH, I wonder what a Birther could buy, and then claim wasn’t what was advertised??? Hmmm. Maybe, for example, this:

(Click on Image to make it larger.)

The long form birth certificate image on the mug is clearly meant to be Obama’s legitimate long form birth certificate, and members of Obama’s re-election team are actively promoting that representation:

(Click on Image to make it larger.)


Sooo, what this would boil down to is a Birther buying the coffee mug under the assumption that the long form birth certificate on it is the real thing. (Which, I think it is, but then again, I am not a Birther and I don’t believe the Cold Case Posse. (CCP)) Then, when the mug comes in the mail, the  Birther compares it to The Cold Case Posse’s report, and if it is the same document, which the CCP says is a forgery, run to see a lawyer to file a complaint. As a consumer, there is no question of standing.

Now, here is how I see this working out in court. If the Birther alleges that the image on the mug is a forgery, based on the CCP’s findings, then Obama and/or his agents will probably introduce the long form birth certificate into evidence. The short form will not work, since it is the long form image that is on the mug.  That certificate can then be compared to the image.

If the Obama side does not produce a long form birth certificate, then the Cold Case Posse experts can testify that the image is phony, and help the Birther to win summary judgment.  At the very least, the CCP testimony would now be relevant to the issue in court.  But, assuming the Obama side introduces the long form, then two possibilities are possible:

1. If it is the same as the image on the mug, then the Birther has just made a contribution to the Obama campaign, and has a shiny new coffee mug with Obama’s picture on it as a keepsake, which he can enjoy his coffee in every morning as he peruses  World Net Daily.

2. If the images are different, then the Birther becomes a hero to millions of other Birthers, and has the potential to be the lead plaintiff in a class action suit for irate Obama coffee mug owners.

Sooo, in conclusion, the Holy Grail of Birtherdom turns out to be a cup after all – – – the Obama Birth Certificate Coffee Mug.  There will be a court decision, one way or the other, about the validity of the document. For the price of a coffee mug, a Birther gets to roll the dice.

I know what the Birthers are thinking. “Is the long form image real or not?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, they’ve just got to ask themselves one question: “Do I feel lucky?”

Well, do ya, Birther?

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. The lower part is from the 1975 film, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The upper part is a miraculous light thing that seems to accompany Holy Grail sightings.

Note 2. Lak’. A dialectical spelling of “like.”  Ness refers to Eliot Ness.  Thus, a word-play on the Loch Ness Monster.  For fun, See Petula Clark singing, Mighty Lak’ A Rose:

Note 3. The Image Caption In Our Cups. In one’s cups is an idiom for drinking or being drunk. Wiki says:


in one’s cups

(idiomatic) Drunk; in the act of consuming alcohol liberally.

1809, Washington Irving, Knickerbocker’s History of New York, ch. 6:

[T]he natives were an honest, social race of jolly roysterers, who had no objection to a drinking bout, and were very merry in their cups.

1852, Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Blithedale Romance, ch. 21:

They grew only the more sober in their cups; there was no confused babble nor boisterous laughter. They sucked in the joyous fire of the decanters and kept it smouldering in their inmost recesses.

1906, E. W. Hornung, The Shadow of the Rope, ch. 1:

[H]ere he gambled, there he drank; and in his cups every virtue dissolved.

2006, Margaret Hawkins, “Home Alone: Blackmon photos find solitude among domestic chaos,” Chicago Sun-Times, 17 Nov., p. NC50:

The woman on the other hand is in her cups swigging from one wine glass while another stands at her elbow.

Note 4. The Easter Egg. On the other side of the coffee cup is a picture of Barack Obama. The knights are looking at the visage of Obama, or his “mug”, which is a slang term for someone’s face. Another word-play.