Tag Archives: Long Form

Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney???

The Jury Simply Wasn’t Buying Klayman’s Theory Of The Case

A few weeks ago  Larry Klayman, Esq. had a “Butterdezillion Moment.”  He decided when Alvin Onaka, Ph.D, the Hawaiian State Registrar verified to Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett  that “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files“,  Onaka was actually failing  to verify that information.

(Click on Image to Enlarge.)

The above blurb was taken from Klayman’s August 29, 2012 letter to DNC General Counsel Robert Bauer, Esq.. (See Note 1 below for a pdf copy of the Arizona Requests and the Hawaiian Verification, and Klayman’s letter to Bauer.) Klayman went on to add:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Let’s deconstruct this a little:

Onaka States:  “the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”

Klayman Responds: Onaka was asked to verify the birth facts for Barack Hussein Obama that are claimed on the birth certificate posted on the White House website and pointedly failed to do so.

Klayman Responds: Mr. Onaka undeniably failed to verify that the image posted at whitehouse.gov “is a true and accurate representation of the original record in [the DOH] files.”

Klayman falls into the same tar pit of confusion that Birther Butterdezillion fell into. In fact, I think Klayman is using her journey into illogic as his starting point. Referencing the full pdf copies of the Arizona requests, and Onaka’s Verification below,  Ken Bennett made 3 separate requests. First, he filled out a Verification Request Form which had 6 items of identifying information typed in. Then, he requested verification of 10 separate pieces of information, and finally a blanket request that the White House long form image was a true and accurate representation of the original file.

Without going too deeply into the mechanics of the situation again, all 3 requests were verified. The first request was answered by the Verification itself. As Hawaii law states (See full statute in Note 2 below.):

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

The 6 typed in items were stated by Ken Bennett, the applicant, and thus confirmed by the Verification itself, as emphasized by the first 2 items on Onaka’s list.  The second request covering 10 items of information was specifically verified as items 3 through 12 on Onaka’s list. Finally, Onaka specifically stated the White House image matched the records on file. All this can be seen in the Note 1 Arizona pdf.

What I want to do is look more closely at Onaka’s response to that last request:   “The information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches  the original records in our files.”  I submit that if that statement had been the only response on the Verification form, that statement alone would have answered all three of Arizona SOS Ken Bennett’s request.

The reason is, that each of the 6 items typed into the Verification Request Form also appear on the White House long form image. The same is true of the 10 separate pieces of information for which Bennett requested Verification. If all that information is on the long form image, then in effect, these are “the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.” And, Onaka’s “verification  shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.”

Klayman, and his mixed–up mentor, Butterdezillion, are busily engaged in trying to wiggle and squirm their way out of Onaka’s Verification. Both are more concerned with what Onaka did NOT say, then what he did say. They try to pretend that there is some huge and legally significant difference between the phrases identical to and true and accurate representation of and Onaka’s phrase the information attached with your request matches  the original records.

In fact, the two of them argue that by NOT mimicking the exact words of the request, Onaka’s statement means the information has not been verified at all, and in fact is confirmation that the White House long form image and the original records are not the same at all. Butterdezillion has flittered off into the theory that “the word matches means that blank boxes equal filled-in boxes.” Klayman gets his little panties in such a wad that he fires off a series of indignant and foolishly threatening letters to the effect that the recipients darn well better not rely on Onaka’s statement:

the information in the copy of the Certificate of Live Birth for Mr. Obama that you attached with your request matches the original records in our files.

Oh really??? In actuality, Onaka’s statement provides exactly the proof that the various agencies and groups require. The long form Image that Obama posted matches Hawaii’s records. Only in Birfer World is that statement hard to understand. Which is very unfortunate for Birthers, because darned if that Slippery Onaka hasn’t gone and done it two more times!!! (See the Kansas and Mississippi Verifications in Note 1 below.)

Here is what Onaka said for Mississippi on May 31, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

and here is what Onaka said for Kansas on September 14, 2012:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

Plus, Alvin Onaka signed off on all three of the Verifications with the same language found on the Mississippi Verification:

(Click on Image to enlarge.)

In spite of all this, the Birthers remain convinced that there is something fishy about the Obama long form Image. If this isn’t DENIAL with a capital D, then there is no such thing as denial. And, the drunks are right when they get 5 DWI’s and still maintain they don’t have a drinking problem. No, this is about as slam dunk as you can get on the birth certificate issue. But I got to thinking about this, and since I don’t want to do like the Birther Blogs, and put one thing in my title something else in the article, let’s examine a hypothetical situation:    Larry Klayman’s Brief Career As A Criminal Defense Attorney!!!

From Larry Klayman’s Closing Argument in Bob “The Bank Robber” Beaumont’s Criminal Trial

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I want you to know how much I appreciate your time and attention during the course of this trial. We are almost finished, because this is really a simple verdict for you to bring back. The State’s entire case rests on fingerprint evidence, DNA analysis, and other tests which allegedly shows that my client,  Bob Beaumont, robbed the First National Bank. You heard Mr. Clyde from the State Crime Lab testify that he ran a DNA test on the wad of Red Man chewing tobacco the masked bank robber spit on the floor of the bank, as captured on camera.  Mr. Clyde says that DNA matches Bob’s DNA.

You also heard Mr. Clyde testify that fingerprints were all over the marked bills that were recovered from the robbery, and those fingerprints match Bob’s fingerprints. Mr. Clyde also said that a large quantity of human drool was found on those same bills, and the DNA on that drool matches Bob’s DNA.  And, Mr. Clyde, who thinks he is some kind of Match King, says that the fingerprints and DNA found on a gun and ski mask right outside the bank’s front door, matches Bob’s fingerprints and DNA.

And finally, Mr. Clyde testifies that a retinal scan from a hidden bank scanner, and a voice analysis from the bank video tape also match up with Bob’s post arrest retinal scan and voice analysis. Well, there you have it in a nutshell. The State has NO CASE whatsoever! Because when Mr. Clyde says all this stuff matches, he is not saying that all these things are identical! Nor, is he saying that they are true and accurate representations of anything.

Therefore, the State has utterly failed to meet its burden to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. As a matter of fact, by refusing to say that these things were identical, or true and accurate representations, the State proved beyond a reasonable doubt that my client IS INNOCENT! Those of you who were able to stay awake without suffering seizures during the testimony of our expert symantical witness, Butterdezillion Jones, know what I am telling you makes sense.

Forget what Mr. Clyde said during his sworn testimony!  The real question you should be asking is why Mr. Clyde didn’t use those phrases identical to and true and accurate representations.  After this is over, I am going to sue Mr. Clyde. If you 12 people don’t find Bob innocent, then I may sue you too! Remember that when you are back there in that jury room! And remember this:

If the fingerprints match, guilt must not attach!!!

That is how I see this whole thing.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Pdf Copies.

Arizona Requests and Verification

Klayman Letter to DNC Bauer

Mississippi Request For Verification

Mississippi Verification


Note 2. Hawaii Statute governing Verifications:

HRS §338-14.3 Verification in lieu of a certified copy. (a) Subject to the requirements of section 338-18, the department of health, upon request, shall furnish to any applicant, in lieu of the issuance of a certified copy, a verification of the existence of a certificate and any other information that the applicant provides to be verified relating to the vital event that pertains to the certificate.

(b) A verification shall be considered for all purposes certification that the vital event did occur and that the facts of the event are as stated by the applicant.

Note 3. Links to Butterdezillion Articles:





Note 4. Link to relevant Larry Klayman article:


World Famous Brazilian Expert Examines The Long Form Image!!!

John Woodman Trekked Deep Into The Brazilian Tropical Rain Forest In His Quest For A World Class Expert

In a search that took him across the globe, John Woodman, author of Is Barack Obama’s Birth Certificate A Fraud,  managed to find a world class computer expert to examine the pdf image of Obama’s long form birth certificate. Here is a teaser, and the rest is at the link below:

As I examined patents and technical papers written on MRC compression, one name in particular seemed to pop up again and again — that of Ricardo de Queiroz.

Ricardo de Queiroz is one of the primary fathers of this entire technology.

The very first “mixed raster content” patent in the United States was granted to Leon Bottou and Yann Andre LeCun… But the 2nd, 4th, 5th, 7th, 8th, and 13th patents were granted to Ricardo de Queiroz and his team. That’s about half of the first dozen or so patents. And some of his team members and students have also gone on to further develop the technology.

In addition, Professor de Queiroz appears again and again as an author of the available technical papers on MRC compression.

Now there are certainly many other individuals who have contributed to the development of this technology; and several in particular have made really big contributions. But I decided, based on what I read in the patent filings and technical papers, that if I were going to contact one expert in the world on this particular technology, the person I would pick would be Ricardo de Queiroz.

So I contacted him. And Dr. de Queiroz was gracious enough to reply — for which I thank him. In clarifying what compression technology is capable of, he has rendered a genuine service to all who have held any interest in this controversy.

World Class Computer Expert Evaluates Obama’s Birth Certificate PDF

This is a fascinating Internet Article and you should read it! While technical, it is still very understandable.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. Interestingly, Tropical Rain Forests have layers, too:

A tropical rainforest has four distinct layers

Emergent layer
Under story
Forest floor

From this website:


Earth To Orly Taitz!!! (Or, Another Sheriff Speaks Mighty Words Of Wisdom)

The Lights In Her Spaceship Were On, But Was Anybody Home???

Well, Orly Taitz is out there trying to run down Sheriff Joe and Mike Zullo and get some commitment. She’s carrying like some poor knocked up little chippy with her,  “But you told me you loved me, and now I’m pregnant, and you won’t call me back, waaaahhh!”  Here is her latest:

(Click to enlarge.)


This is sooo pitiful and pathetic that I can’t bear to imagine the incredulous look on her face while she was typing it in. It’s like somebody who went on a “Snipe Hunt” and is still holding a bag out there in the woods four days later. Some Good Samaritan has to tell them it was all a practical joke before they die of exposure. It might as well be me.  Here is my “Open Letter” to her.

Dear Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.

What part of “It Was All A Bunch Of Bullsh*t” don’t you get??? Arpaio and Zullo haven’t filed any charges because they didn’t find anything to file charges on.  Their whole investigation was a farce from the get-go. They did it for the PUBLICITY and for something to smear Obama with.

You see, Deputy Jerome “Jerry” Corsi was caught flat-footed back in April 2011. There Corsi was, just about to turn loose his brand new book, “Where’s The Birth Certificate?” and SQUABASH!, Obama  coughed up the long form whilethe book was en route to the shelves. Ooops!  That made Corsi look kind of stupid, even to the faithful.  And, as he continued to pump the old “It’s A Fake!” spiel, he looked even more like a cheap hack writing “Big Foot Baby Daddy” stories.  Corsi, and the folks who were still Birthers badly need a shot of respectability.

So in combination with a bunch of kooky Arizona Tea Party Birthers, they all prevailed upon Sheriff Joe Arpaio to investigate. Arpaio appointed the Cold Case Posse to look into the matter with Corsi playing a big part in the investigation. He even became a “Special Deputy.” You probably never read it, but back in April, I wrote an Internet Article here about YOU being investigated by the DOJ with the Obots helping them.  That is the same silly thing happened when the Cold Case Posse let Corsi in.  The whole thing became an even worse joke than it already was.

Fast Forward six months or so and we have the Cold Case Posse press conference and the idiotic forgery claims. Do you really understand the basis for the forgery claim? It isn’t that they proved any information on the long form was false, or materially altered with the aim to defraud someone out of some benefit. That is the LEGAL definition of forgery in most states. No, what you have in Phoenix, is some photo-shopping experts testifying that they can’t figure out how the long form was scanned and uploaded to the Internet. And some questions about a 30 year old postal dating stamp.

In fact, the Arizona Secretary of State got a verification from Alvin Onaka Ph.D,  the Hawaiian State Registrar, that Obama was born in Hawaii, and that the long form information matches their records. So you see, Orly, there isn’t any forgery and there isn’t any ObamaForgeryGate. Even Sheriff Joe and Zullo openly admit that they are not accusing Obama of doing anything criminal.

I mentioned something called a “Snipe Hunt” above. You probably didn’t have these in Moldova, so let me explain how one works. A group of people decides to fool some naive and trusting individual. So they set them out in the woods with a bag, and tell them to wait while the rest go off and drive the snipe toward them. When the snipe(s) get there, the gullible person is supposed to catch them in the bag.

But the other people really aren’t out in the woods driving snipe toward the bag. No. They are in a bar somewhere boozing it up and laughing at the idiot out there in the woods holding the bag, waiting for the imaginary snipe to come along. Orly, that person in the woods is YOU. You are the sucker who bought into the whole Cold Case Posse thing, the same way you bought into the Susan Daniels foolishness.

So, while you call on Mike Zullo and Sheriff Joe to come to your rescue . . . they aren’t coming. Figuratively speaking, they are sitting in a bar somewhere, boozing it up and having a good laugh at your expense. I might be wrong about Zullo. Maybe he is out there on the other side of the woods, all excited, and holding a bag, too. Whichever, let me permit a very famous American Sheriff to give you 4 seconds worth of great advice:

A Famous Sheriff’s Advice


Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. The blank “RKO” image was provided by Deveiver at Deviant Art:


Thank you!!!

Note 2. Links. Here is the link to the post referenced above:


Note 3. Open Letters. Wow, the Birthers are right! This Open Letter stuff is fun! This is my second one, so I am putting it on some Birther Think Tank stationery and doing a pdf of it, too!

Open Letter To Orly

Note 4. The Image Easter Egg. Wiki says about signal to noise ratios:

Signal-to-noise ratio (often abbreviated SNR or S/N) is a measure used in science and engineering that compares the level of a desired signal to the level of background noise. It is defined as the ratio of signal power to the noise power. A ratio higher than 1:1 indicates more signal than noise.

Signal-to-noise ratio is sometimes used informally to refer to the ratio of useful information to false or irrelevant data in a conversation or exchange. For example, in online discussion forums and other online communities, off-topic posts and spam are regarded as “noise” that interferes with the “signal” of appropriate discussion.

A “Seven Year Hitch” In Time Saves “9” (Or, Corsi Codes Blue)

Caught Without A Single Stitch, Much Less Nine

As noted at ConWebBlog,  Jerome “Deputy Jerry” Corsi is still playing games with the truth:

Jerome Corsi is either an idiot or utterly dishonest.

In a brief summary of the cold case posse “investigation” of Barack Obama’s “eligibility” in an Aug. 16 WorldNetDaily article, Corsi writes: “In addition, the team found computer codes handwritten on the Obama long-form birth certificate are inconsistent with information filled out on the form, suggesting the document had been altered.”

In fact, whatever coding system was used on Obama’s 1961 birth certificate , it clearly wasn’t the 1968 system Corsi, Mike Zullo and the rest of the posse used as evidence of an “altered” document.


As background, there are certain penciled in numbers on the online image of Obama’s long form birth certificate. These numbers were for the purpose of coding the information for subsequent computer input.  The confusion arises from the number “9” penciled in the block for “Race of Father.”  The block was filled in with “African”, which has reportedly sent large untold numbers into catatonic states.

A previous Internet Article from ConWebBlog explains how the Cold Case Posse screwed up by using the WRONG YEAR’S coding protocol:

Zullo’s coding error

During Cold Case Posse chief Mike Zullo’s July 17 press conference to announce the latest findings from his so-called investigation, he touted one item he purported to be a bombshell regarding handwritten codes on Obama’s long-form birth certificate, as WND reporter:

The codes seen on the document issued by the White House are not consistent with the          information entered into the various fields, indicating the document has been altered or amended.

In the coding system, the number 9 indicates the information is not stated, meaning there should not be any information in the box in which the number is written.

However, the number 9 can be seen written in pencil next to the fields for “Usual Occupation,” “Kind of Business or Industry” and “Race of Father” on Obama’s document. Each of those fields are filled with information.

“This proves the document has been tampered with and information has been placed on it,” Zullo said.

In fact, according to the Obama Conspiracy site, Zullo is citing a coding system established in 1968, which would not apply to a birth certificate from 1961. The coding system at that time [1961] defined the number 9 as “other nonwhite.” Given that the number was found in the box for the race of Obama’s father, this may explain why his race is listed as “African” — it may be nothing more than a 50-year-old misguided notion that a black man from Africa was not a “Negro.”

Here is a link for the full story:


And here is a link to Dr. Conspiracy’s story on the coding, including the mysterious number 9:


Obviously, the “9” on the image of Obama’s  long form birth certificate is CORRECT, and the Cold Cut Posse is once more, full of baloney.  They used a book to check coding that wasn’t even invented for seven more years.

Sooo, a seven year hitch in time saves “9”. 

Oh, I just love it when you can work puns and word plays into a post!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Puns and word Plays.  This is for people who may be ESL, which is English as a second language.

Seven year hitch is a word play on seven year itch.  Hitch, of course, means a problem. And there is a seven year time difference between the 1961 code book and the 1968 book.

The Seven Year Itch usually refers to a psychological term that suggests that happiness declines after around year seven after a marriage. Sometimes, seven year itch means scabies, or a parasitic skin infection. or, a movie as noted below. For the Image caption, stitch is a slangish term for clothing.

A hitch in time saves 9 is a word play on the old adage, a stitch in time saves nine, about which Wikitionary says:

Proverb: a stitch in time saves nine

Etymology: From the practice of knitting.

A little effort expended sooner to fix a small problem, prevents it from becoming a larger problem requiring more effort to fix later; A little preparation can eliminate the need for repairs later; consistency (achieving a set rhythm) is better than trying to rush ahead.

Code Blue” is generally used to indicate a patient requiring resuscitation or otherwise in need of immediate medical attention, most often as the result of a respiratory arrest or cardiac arrest. Blue also means sad, which I imagine is how Jerome Corsi and the Cold Case Posse felt after learning they used the wrong year’s manual, assuming the mistake was unintentional.

Note 2. The Image.  This is Marilyn Monroe from the 1955 film, The Seven Year Itch. August , 2012 was the 50th anniversary of her death,  so I am happy I could work her into an Internet Article. This movie included this famous Subway Dress image:

Arpaio’s F Bomb Is A Dud!!! (The Obama Forgery Test)

Arpaio Was Well Known For His Short Fuse

Sheriff Joe, Deputy Zullo, Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, and other Birthers have been dropping F Bombs left and right since the initial March 12, 2012 press conference. “F” here stands for “Forgery.”  On July 17, 2012, Arpaio held another press conference and doubled-down on the forgery claim.  Meanwhile, outside the Birther Asylum, and the Anti-Birther Butterfly-Net Shore Patrol,  the whole issue is a dud.

The Birther Press is busy chest-thumping like two horny male gorillas about the lack of Main Stream Press coverage, and pouting like little snotty-nosed kids because the Conservative Big Shots, like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, don’t want to play with them. Maybe it is the whole snot-thing???

Others, like Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. and numerous Freeper Birfers, are filled with indignation because the saner part of the universe simply ignores Arpaio and the Cold Case Posse’s claims of forgery. Sooo, I have decided to deconstruct the issue and get down to specifics. First, let us get a workable definition of forgery. This one, from the Free Legal Dictionary, seems typical:

The creation of a false written document or alteration of a genuine one, with the intent to defraud.

Forgery consists of filling in blanks on a document containing a genuine signature, or materially altering or erasing an existing instrument. An underlying intent to defraud, based on knowledge of the false nature of the instrument, must accompany the act.

Since the word defraud is used twice, let’s define that word also, from the same source:

[T]o use deceit, falsehoods, or trickery to obtain money, an object, rights or anything of value belonging to another.

Legally, any erroneous information would have to have been put in, or altered,  with the intent to defraud, so that simple clerical errors or harmless mistakes would not constitute forgery. For example, if a clerk penciled in the number “9” for the Father’s Race, when the correct code should have been “2”, there is no forgery.  Mainly, because there was no evil intent and no one is being defrauded of anything.

Suppose Obama’s real father was Frank Marshall Davis, and not Barack Obama Sr., and Stanley Dunham did not know this, perhaps having slept with both men. Then there would be no forgery. There is no intent to defraud. If, on the other hand, she knew that Frank Marshall Davis (FMD) was the actual father, but listed BO, Sr. as the father anyway, then there would be forgery, of a sort, by the creation of a false document.

But even then, the intent to defraud somebody would have to be proven.  It is possible that FMD and BO, Sr. could have agreed to such a listing.  Or, if by supplying false information, Stanley Dunham sought to obtain something of value, either money or some right, then there could have been an intent to defraud. The important thing is that the intent to defraud has to be proven, not just assumed.

By definition, any alteration would have to be legally material, that is  significant and important, to fit within the definition of forgery. For example, if someone altered the place of birth from Kenya to Hawaii, that would be material. If someone enhanced a barely legible letter, to make it more legible, that would be probably be immaterial. Either way, an intent to defraud would still have to be proven.

All right, now that we have a workable definition of forgery and the intent to defraud and material, let’s look at the online long form:

Remember, that the Hawaii DOH says a long form exists, so unless some information has been added, erased, or changed from that original, then there is no forgery. Mere non-material alteration is NOT forgery. I went through the document and here is a list of 43 items which constitute the information contained on the online document:

File Number 151 on top

Certificate Number 61 10641 on top

Green Security Paper Background

Apr 25 2011 stamped on bottom

Certification on bottom with handwritten Alvin T. Onaka, Ph.D. and stamped State Registrar

1a. Child’s First Name – Barack

1b. Child’s Middle Name – Hussein

1c. Child’s Last Name – Obama, II

2. Sex – Male

3. This Birth – single block marked (as opposed to twin or triplet) and two “x’s” and a “dash” penciled in.

4. If Twin or Triplets Was Child Born 1st, 2nd, 3rd – No Information Entered

5a. Birth Date – August 4, 1961

5b. Hour – 7:24 PM

6a. Place of Birth (City) –  Honolulu

6b. Island – Oahu

6c. Name of Hospital – Kapiolani Maternity & Gynecological Hospital

6d. Is Place of Birth Inside City Limits – Yes block is marked.

7a. Usual Residence of Mother (City) – Honolulu

7b. Island – Oahu

7c. County and State – Honolulu, Hawaii

7d. Street Address – 6085 Kalanianaole Highway

7e. Is Residence Inside City Limits – Yes blocked is marked

7f. Mother’s Mailing Address – No Information Entered

7g. Is Residence Inside City Limits – Yes block is marked and number “2” is penciled in.

8. Full Name of Father – Barack Hussein Obama

9. Race of Father – African and number “9” is penciled in.

10. Age of Father – 25

11. Birthplace – Kenya, East Africa and number “2” is penciled in.

12a. Usual Occupation – Student and a “dash” and a “o” are penciled in.

12b. Kind of Business or Occupation – University and number “9” is penciled in.

13. Full Maiden Name of Mother – Stanley Ann Dunham

14. Race of Mother – Caucasian and number “1” is penciled in.

15. Age of Mother – 18

16. Birthplace – Wichita, Kansas and an “a” (?) is penciled in.

17a. Type of Occupation Outside Home During Pregnancy – None and a “0” is penciled in.

17b. Date Last Worked – No Information Entered and a “0” is penciled in.

18a. Signature of Parent – Handwritten (Stanley) Ann Dunham Obama, with block checked for Parent.

18b. Date of Signature – Handwritten 8-7-61

19a. Signature of Attendant – Handwritten David A. Sinclair with M.D. block checked.

20. Date Accepted by Local Registrar – Stamped August 8, 1961

21. Signature of Local Registrar – Handwritten V K L Lee

22. Date Accepted by Reg. General – Stamped August 9 – 1961

23. Evidence for Delayed Filing or Alteration – No Information Entered

Now, for the Crickets Test.

Question 1:  Which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to  be an alteration of a genuine item,  that is, information materially altered (changed, added, or erased) and different from the original long form birth certificate???

Answer: Crickets.

Question 2:  Which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to be false from the very creation of an original document???

Answer: Crickets.

Question 3:  Which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to constitute any intent to defraud some other person and obtain some benefit???

Answer: Crickets.

Question 4:  Notwithstanding any other question and/or answer, which item(s) of information above has been substantially proven by The Cold Case Posse to constitute a legally material alteration of any original information???

Answer: Crickets

I would submit that Sheriff Joe, Deputy Zullo, The Cold Case Posse, Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, and other Birthers have completely and utterly failed to prove any of the elements of a forgery claim. Not only have they failed to substantially prove any of the forgery elements, they have not even made a credible  allegation of any element of forgery.

The closest they have come is to argue that the penciled in “9” in the Race of Father block, is either incorrect, or should have resulted in an empty block.  Which is at least debatable, and factually incorrect in my opinion.

Yet even on that point, there has been no proof offered that the original long form document did not have such an entry.Additionally,  and even if they were correct, they have offered no evidence which shows any intent to defraud anyone, nor have they even bothered to hazard a theory how such an boo-boo could tend to defraud anyone.

Are they truly so incompetent that they fail to realize any of this,  or do they just not care???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1:  Here is a separate PDF of the Obama Forgery Test to better help you snare the unwary Birther. Feel free to use it and distribute it.

The Obama Forgery Test

2012 – The Year of the Birther??? (A White Paper)

Squeeky Predicts - - "The Whole Kit and Kabuki"

Many people think the Birther movement was largely de-fused by Obama’s release of his long form birth certificate in April 2011. I am one of those people.  But, we were not “de-fused” because we failed, but because we succeeded.  Unrelenting pressure from us is what eventually forced Obama to acknowledge that he was not a KING, but a PRESIDENT, and accountable to the people. Obama coughed up his long form, and that satisfied most people.

But, there are TWO groups of people who were not satisfied.  The First Group are the remnants of the Common Sense Suspicious Birthers who think there is something fishy about the image of the long form put on the White House website. One of the layers in that image looks like this:

Sooo, while I think Obama did this ON PURPOSE to keep the Birther issue alive, who can really blame people for still being suspicious???  I mean, just imagine what people would be saying if George Bush had finally put up a document called Weapons of Mass Destruction List, and one of the layers read “Piggly Wiggly Shopping List Would anybody blame people for having doubts whether or not it was legitimate??? I think NOT!!! But let’s look anyway.  Suppose this was on George Bush’s White House website. (If you click on the image, it gets bigger.):

And, then somebody did  whatever and found this in one of the layers:

And suppose this had followed 3 years of a refusal to release the List of Weapons of Mass Destruction?  The layered image would not prove the top layer was false, but would people be paranoid conspiracy theorists to have doubts? I don’t think so, even if I did not agree with them. Maybe it proves forgery, or maybe it just proves incompetence.

Whoever is right, none of the possible reasons for the squirrely image on the White House website are very good (Where have I heard that line of reasoning before???) Either Obama is incompetent, and can’t even put a “flattened” image on the Internet, or Obama is an incompetent forger who leaves the evidence IN PLAIN VIEW, or Obama is SLIMY and being intentionally divisive in keeping this issue alive for political purposes.

But there is a real potential stigma that attaches to this branch of Birtherism right now, because people who don’t follow this issue and who are not deeply into all the minutia, will be easy to convince that Birthers  just won’t believe anything that Obama presents. They will be easy pickings for the people who argue, “Birthers demanded the long form —they got it—now they don’t believe that. Nothing will ever satisfy these people!”  And they will have good company because many people’s suspicions, including mine, were answered when Obama finally coughed up the long form in April 2011. While I have not found any good recent polls, the number of Birthers and other doubters, seems to be way down from the 58% of people who had some degree of doubt where Obama was born this time last year.

The Second Group is what I laughingly refer to as The Vattle Birthers, because of their silly insistence that Emerich de Vattel was the inspiration for the term natural born citizen in English and American common law. (Which, as I have pointed out before in my Internet Article here —Emerich de Vattel–A Vampire???, would have been pretty hard to do since the English law first started saying this in 1608 or even earlier, and Vattel wasn’t even born until 1714, over a hundred years later.)  The Vattle Birthers are universally ridiculed by both The Left and The Right for their crank legal theory that being a natural born citizen requires two citizen parents. In my opinion, they are also conspiracy theorists, since for their theory to have been overlooked would have required the silence of Obama’s opposition in the 2008 elections in addition to the silence of nearly every lawyer, judge, and law professor in the county, including the conservative Republican ones.

Sooo, what you have left are the remaining die-hard suspicious Birthers and the kooky Vattle Birthers. Now, we’re getting  to the point of this Internet Article. What is it that will make 2012 the Year of the Birther??? What is it that is going to cause an explosion in the news coverage of Birthers, to where the average American is convinced the woodwork is teeming with rabid roach-like Birthers- – -where, when you see one,  there are really a million there, peeking out from under the toaster, that you don’t see??? Easy—the Presidential election.

Obama has absolutely nothing else to campaign on.  The Economy SUCKS!!! Unemployment is at 9.1% or 17% depending on how you measure it. Nobody expects anything to improve before the election. The wars are still going on and Gitmo is open. Probably, somewhere, somebody is secretly being water-boarded.  Obamacare is on life-support and seeing white lights and dead relatives.  Then you have Solyndra and the whole green job thingy where the only green so far is the 535 million bucks that got flushed.  The Fast and Furious ATF Gun scandal, is turning into how fast and furiously Eric Holder can shred documents. A person could write a book here on how Obama has screwed up.

Much of this was predictable for anybody who read the Internet Articles here, and grasped the concept of the KISS Matrix.  Suffice it to say, Obama’s performance has been so bad, some people are questioning whether or not he will even run for re-election. But what happens if he does run???  What ever can the Talking Heads, Liberals, and Obotski find to discuss to draw attention away from the reality of The One???

Well the first standby is Racism. That’ a given and has already started. Lawrence O’Donnell, the white-as-rice smarmy little twerp on MSNBC is already lecturing Herman Cain, a black man who grew up in the South during the 1960’s about what Cain should have been doing to pass O’Donnell’s personal “Is he black enough?” test.

The next standby is of  course, Intelligence, or should I say politically correct Intelligence.  The left side of the political spectrum is convinced of their intellectual and moral superiority. So any candidate who does not believe in human caused global warming, or thinks the dude popularly known as GOD,  may have had a little something to do with how the human race got here, is in for high powered teasing.  Think Sarah Palin here. Her record as governor of Alaska did not matter. The we’re close to Russia thingy trumps her record. Meantime, Obama  gets a pass when he misses the date by a few years over to the wedding in England. No problemo– – -he’s from Hah-vard.

But there is a place where these two liberal standbys  meet, at least in the minds of the Liberals and Obotski —BIRTHERISM!!!  They already think that Racism is at the core of Birtherism, that Birthers just don’t like the scary black man in The White House.  After all, no other President in the history of America has ever had sooo great a demand put upon him as making a phone call and coughing up a $14 document.  And how stupid someone must be to doubt the authenticity of Obama’s  long form, even if one layer of it does look like  it got rode hard and put away wet by a bottle of White Out.

This is the Perfect Storm of Racism and Ignorance upon which the MSM, Left, and Obama must set sail.  What you will see are numerous shows, most probably on MSNBC, with a Birther twist.  Herman Cain is already attracting these lightning bolts. Why??? Because some of his Internet Articles appear on World Net Daily.

Sooo, look for Birthers to be a big and hot on television and blogs this year.  This will probably be the year with the most Birther appearances ever. The MSM hosts will try to portray Birthers as racist idiots, and will talk over whoever appears on the show. So, my advice is, stick to the basics!!!  If you are a regular Common Sense Suspicious Birther, stick to the Connecticut social security number, and the funky layer in the White House image, and stress that it is a EITHER-OR situation.  Either Obama forged it or Obama can’t tie his shoes right.

Focus on 90 lawsuits without discovery, because who goes through 90 law suits without an ulterior motive. If the cost isn’t in the millions for the lawsuit, ask the host how much they think got spent on 90 lawsuits. Even at $2,000 or $3,000 each, it is a lot of money. Plus, stay away from the two citizen parent stuff, because that is poison. Any lawyers on the show will tear you up, and be right in doing so. Plus, you do not want to poison the well for Mark Rubio and Bobby Jindal.

If you are a Vattle Birther, there is no helping you because you are crazy. If you have any sense of decency, please change your names to become Obama Constitutional Scholars. The name will fit you better because Obama can’t get anything right, either.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

NOTE: For the conspiracy theorist minded,  I enlarged the “G” in George Bush’s name from the Weapons of Mass Destruction letter above, and this is what it looks like. I am not sure if this was intentional on his part, or just an artifact:

Artifactish – A Poem

Some people say this Smiley Face, located on Obama’s long form birth certificate may be proof that the document was forged. Other people, mostly Obotski,  say the face isn’t there, and is just an “artifact.” Artifacts are stray pixels and anomalies that occur when digitally making, compressing or un-compressing image files.


Face the Artifacts

by Squeeky Fromm

There is a face, I do declare,
A face they say that isn’t there.
“It isn’t there”, is what they say.
Oh, how I wish it’d go away

I looked again, I had to see,
And it was smiling there at me.
As big as life on the Abstract,
Or is it just an artifact???

Go away, go away. And end this episode.
Go away, go away. Are you a Sekrit Code???

Oh, I am trying NOT to stare
And see the face that isn’t there.
“It isn’t there”, is what they say.
Oh, how I wish it’d go away!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note: This poem is based on Antigonish by William Hughes Mearns. Wiki says Mearns is credited with the well-known rhyme, composed in 1899 as a song for a play he had written, called The Psyco-ed. The play was performed in 1910 and the poem was first published as “Antigonish” in 1922.


Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away

Obama Coughed It Up!!!

America Also Needs Its Girl Reporters!!!

On April 27, 2011, after unrelenting pressure from The Birther Think Tank and others, Obama finally coughed up his long form birth certificate, saying:

Now, normally I would not comment on something like this, because obviously there’s a lot of stuff swirling in the press on at any given day and I’ve got other things to do.  But two weeks ago, when the Republican House had put forward a budget that will have huge consequences potentially to the country, and when I gave a speech about my budget and how I felt that we needed to invest in education and infrastructure and making sure that we had a strong safety net for our seniors even as we were closing the deficit, during that entire week the dominant news story wasn’t about these huge, monumental choices that we’re going to have to make as a nation.  It was about my birth certificate.  And that was true on most of the news outlets that were represented here.

And so I just want to make a larger point here.  We’ve got some enormous challenges out there.  There are a lot of folks out there who are still looking for work.  Everybody is still suffering under high gas prices.  We’re going to have to make a series of very difficult decisions about how we invest in our future but also get a hold of our deficit and our debt — how do we do that in a balanced way.

And this is going to generate huge and serious debates, important debates.  And there are going to be some fierce disagreements — and that’s good.  That’s how democracy is supposed to work.  And I am confident that the American people and America’s political leaders can come together in a bipartisan way and solve these problems.  We always have.

But we’re not going to be able to do it if we are distracted.  We’re not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other.  We’re not going to be able to do it if we just make stuff up and pretend that facts are not facts.  We’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.

We live in a serious time right now and we have the potential to deal with the issues that we confront in a way that will make our kids and our grandkids and our great grandkids proud.  And I have every confidence that America in the 21st century is going to be able to come out on top just like we always have.  But we’re going to have to get serious to do it.

I know that there’s going to be a segment of people for which, no matter what we put out, this issue will not be put to rest.  But I’m speaking to the vast majority of the American people, as well as to the press.  We do not have time for this kind of silliness.  We’ve got better stuff to do.  I’ve got better stuff to do.  We’ve got big problems to solve.  And I’m confident we can solve them, but we’re going to have to focus on them — not on this.

Thanks very much, everybody.

Full statement here:


Obama’s statement echoes many of the concerns raised by The Birther Think Tank.  Here is a copy of the long form birth certificate:

The Document It Took Obama Three Years To Cough Up!!!

After reviewing the document, it appears certain that Obama was NOT born in Kenya, nor is there any embarrassing information on it. Accordingly, the KISS Matix was updated to The KISS Matrix 2.0 to  reflect this new information:

1. KIDS. Obama has a bunch of Kids for advisers, who think this is funny???
2. IGNORANT. Obama was too ignorant to think of the simple answer.
3. SNOBBY. Obama thought Americans were too stupid to believe the REAL THING!
4. SLIMY. Obama thought it was OK to make some Americans look crazy if it got him votes.

While one applauds Obama for finally coughing it up, one still must wonder WHY Obama took sooo long???

Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

[Note: The Birther Think Tank waited 3 days to publish the long form due to problems with the image posted by the White House. It is our opinion the White House, not wishing to let a good crisis go to waste,  intentionally published a manipulated image to keep this controversy alive, while facially absolving itself from any role in actually keeping this divisive issue alive.]

22 Alternative Reasons Why Obama Won’t Cough It Up!!!

1 Chance in 22 of Guessing the Right Answer!

I have been trying to think of all the possible reasons why Obama would not release his Long Form Birth Certificate, or even a real COLB. I have come up with 22 possible theories, so far. If you can think of others. Please let me know!

Again, for the cost of about two Happy Meals, Obama could have put an original certified Certificate of Live Birth into a Court Record, and put an end to this whole mess over two years ago. Soooo, I’m trying to think like Obama, here:

1. I’m a Kenyan usurper.
2. I’m very stupid.
3. Screw them, I don’t like voters!
4. It shows my real middle name is actually “Heidi.”
5. Some people won’t vote for me if they think I am an American.
6. I want everybody to think the other side is crazy.
7. I’m narcissistic and crave attention!
8. Confused voters make elections more interesting!
9.  Bo, my dog, ate it.
10. I am trying to save the Rain Forest, by using less paper.
11. I am keeping my options open.
12. It shows I have a birthmark shaped like “666.’
13. I hate the Democratic Party and want it to lose!
14. I am very passive-aggressive.
15. The people in Hawaii misplaced it and asked me to “buy them some time.”
16. I like lawyers and love paying legal fees.
17. It gives me an aura of mystery.
18. I am under a magic spell and I can’t do it.
19. I just keep forgetting to do it.
20. I want to see how long it will take for even the OBOTS to get suspicious.
21. It will show I was really born in Wasilla, Alaska.
22. I don’t want to be president any more!

Outside of Reason No. 1, none of them seems reason enough to drag this whole mess out for over two years. So, unless Obama really is a Kenyan Usurper, he ought to just cough it up and end all this stupid stuff. I’ll loan him the $15 or so, if he needs it.

Tee Hee! Tee Hee!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter