The Mummy Was An American!!! (The Egyptian Birthers Strike!!!)

Princess Ankhesenamón Always Conked Right Out When Imhotep Read From Apuzzo's Brief

Oh no!!! Now Birtherism has spread to the land of the Pharoahs. Here’s the story:

CAIRO (AP) — Egypt’s election commission confirmed Thursday that the mother of a popular Islamist presidential hopeful was an American citizen, effectively disqualifying him from the race and likely boosting the chances of the Muslim Brotherhood’s candidate.

The ruling is likely to draw an uproar from supporters of Hazem Salah Abu Ismail, a 50-year-old lawyer turned preacher who in recent months vaulted to become one of the strongest contenders for president, with widespread backing from ultra-conservative Muslims known as Salafis.

The announcement is particularly embarrassing for Abu Ismail, who used anti-US rhetoric in his campaign speeches and rejected “dependency” on the America. In recent weeks, he repeatedly denied the reports that began circulating that his late mother held US citizenship.

A law put in place after last year’s fall of President Hosni Mubarak stipulates that a candidate may not have any other citizenship than Egyptian — and that the candidate’s spouse and parents cannot have other citizenships as well.

The rest of this interesting story can be found here:

http://www.timesofisrael.com/egyptian-presidential-candidate-effectively-disqualified-over-mothers-us-citizenship/

However, there is one big difference.  The Egyptian Birthers have a REAL LAW about requiring two citizen parents, not an Imaginary Law, which they can cite.  Thank goodness, because I would hate to see the American Birthers go over there to help out, and start lying and misrepresenting like they do here in this country.

I think the Muslim Egyptians take that kind of stuff a lot more seriously than we do.  Who knows but the American Birthers could wind up in Egyptian prisons, or becomes slaves and have to help build another pyramid or something??? On the other hand, maybe that would be a good thing. For us.

But it ought to be interesting to see if the American Birthers start throwing Egyptian law at us. I feel pretty sure Mario “The Mangler” Apuzzo, Esq. will find a way to work it into his new New Jersey Birther lawsuit. And probably his brief, with a “Since the Dawn of Civilization and The Building of The Pyramids the law has required two citizen parents.. . .” segue.

And another American court will have to remind him which country he lives in.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is a photo of Zita Johann and Boris Karloff from the film, The Mummy (1932).

Note 2. Yes I thought about this:

Mummy Was An American, Papa Was A'Rolling Stone

This Image is “Building The Pyramids” by Peter Jackson, and may be found here:

http://www.illustrationartgallery.com/acatalog/info_JacksonEgypt.html

Note 3. Conked Out. From the caption, means:

1. To stop functioning; fail: The engine conked out on the final lap.
2. To fall asleep, especially suddenly or heavily: She conked out on the couch watching television.
3. To pass out; faint.
4. To die.

La Bocca Della Falsita (The Mouth of Falsehoods)

I Think I Found Mario Apuzzo's Missing Hand In Here

At Mario Apuzzo’s blog, he has a picture of himself next to an image of La Bocca Della Verite, the Mouth of Truth.

http://puzo1.blogspot.com/2011/11/is-putative-president-barack-obamas.html

I enjoy the universe of ideas and a sound mind and body.

Wiki says:

La Bocca della Verità ( “the Mouth of Truth“) is an image, carved from Pavonazzetto marble, of a man-like face, located in the portico of the church of Santa Maria in Cosmedin in Rome, Italy.  The sculpture is thought to be part of a 1st century ancient Roman fountain, or perhaps a manhole cover, portraying one of several possible pagan gods, probably  Oceanus. Most Romans believe that the ‘Bocca’ represents the ancient god of the river Tiber.

The most famous characteristic of the Mouth, however, is its role as a lie detector. Starting from the Middle Ages, it was believed that if one told a lie with one’s hand in the mouth of the sculpture, it would be bitten off. The piece was placed in the portico of the Santa Maria in Cosmedin in the 17th century. This church is also home to the supposed relics of Saint Valentine.

The Mouth of Truth is known to English-speaking audiences mostly from its appearance in the 1953 film Roman Holiday. The film also uses the Mouth of Truth as a storytelling device since both Hepburn’s and Peck’s characters are not initially truthful with each other.

I wonder if Mario Apuzzo’s depiction of the Mouth of Truth on his website is deceptive advertising due to his latest journey into Soap Opera land. Here is a brief excerpt from Mario Apuzzo:

Is Putative President Barack Obama’s Mother, Stanley Ann Dunham, Really Jo Ann Newman?

By Mario Apuzzo, Esq.
November 15, 2011

Martha Trowbridge reports that she has uncovered the true identity of Stanley Ann Dunham, putative President Barack Obama’s mother. She writes in her latest article, Stan The Sham, and True Love, posted at her blog, Terrible Truth, on November 15, 2011, at http://terribletruth.wordpress.com/2011/11/15/stan-the-sham-and-true-love/  that Dunham’s real name is Jo Ann Newman.Why would Obama tell us that his mother’s name is Stanley Ann Dunham when it is really Jo Ann Newman, a white teenage girl from the Bronx, New York, who according to Ms. Trowbridge was Malcolm X’s teenage lover and devotee?

Is Obama telling us a lie about his mother’s true name because he wants to hide his own real identity?

Is he telling us that lie because he wanted to make himself more electable to the average American?

What would knowing that Obama’s mother’s real name is Jo Ann Newman tell us about Obama’s true identity?

And why would Obama want to hide his true identity?

You can read the rest of the nonsense at Mr. Apuzzo’s blog. (Link above.) While I love a good conspiracy theory, this one isn’t even up to the “I Had Big Foot’s Baby!” level.  The creator of this idiocy is one, Martha Trowbridge, who can’t even get her dots on the same piece of paper to connect them. I suspect there is a long scrawl of crayon in her home from her computer desk down to the floor, up to the wall, down the hall, and into the bathroom over to where the commode sits.

She supposes that Obama is actually some dude named Bari Shabazz who was the son of Malcom X, and therefore the mother must be poor Jo Ann Newman, who presumably is dead and can not defend herself from this crap.  And oh, Bari Shabazz is dead, too. And Malcom X.  And Obama’s parents and grandparents are dead, too.  They’re all dead. I would not be surprised to see lawsuits asking to dig them all up and perform DNA tests.

From the obvious lack of any discernible  brain activity, I would suspect that Martha Trowbridge was dead too, and awaiting a disconnect from life-support, except for the fact that someone keeps writing Internet Articles in her name about this crap.  A better name for her blog would be The Terrible UN-Truth.

Mr. Apuzzo is an attorney and should know better than to engage in this kind of ridiculous speculation. You can tell that it is speculation because he comes right out and asks:

So, who is Jo Ann Newman? Did she and her family and friends know Malcolm X?

The big question now is how we reconcile the name of Jo Ann Newman with the Stanley Ann Dunham life story that we have been provided. As we know, this alleged fabricated life story consists of, among many life events, a birth in Kansas; youthful years and schooling in Washington; schooling in Hawaii; a hasty marriage to and divorce from Barack Obama Sr.; a marriage to and divorce from Lolo Soetoro; a move to Indonesia; and the birth of Maya Soetoro in Indonesia.

Mr. Apuzzo, with all due respect, this is the kind of stuff you should have answered BEFORE you disseminated this garbage. I mean, you write this hit piece, and you haven’t even answered the question “So, who is Jo Ann Newman? Did she and her family and friends know Malcolm X? ”

And, you admit you have not figured out how you can reconcile the name of Jo Ann Newman with the life of Stanley Ann Dunham??? You mean little stuff like marriages to that Indonesian dude, and Obama living in Indonesia and Obama in Hawaii with the Dunham grandparents, and little items like that??? What in the world ever possessed you to climb aboard the Jo Ann Newman Express without checking out where it was going???

Take my advice. Get a second opinion about how sound your mind really is.  And keep your mitts out of the Mouth of Truth.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: The First Image above is of Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. Wiki says:

. . .they spend the day seeing the sights, including the “Mouth of Truth”, a face carved in marble which is said to bite off the hands of liars. When Joe pulls his hand out of the mouth, it appears to be missing, causing Anya to scream. He then pops his hand out of his sleeve and laughs. (Hepburn’s shriek was not acting—Peck decided to pull a gag he had once seen Red Skelton do, and did not tell his co-star beforehand.)