Tag Archives: NSA

Guardian Doesn’t Like Birther’s Timbre??? (Or, Crank Yank Wanker Yanked!!!)


Upon Closer Inspection, It Seemed A Little Too Weird

This story come from Charles Johnson at the Little Green Footballs (LGF) blog. And he is all over the story! First, here is a brief excerpt:

Guardian/Observer Publishes, Then Pulls New NSA Bombshell Story Featuring Birther Wayne Madsen

Wow, a massive fail by the Guardian/Observer tonight, as their latest BREAKING BOMBSHELL story on NSA spying features Birther (and all-around tin foil hat conspiracy theorist) Wayne Madsen: Revealed: Secret European Deals to Hand Over Private Data to America | World News | the Observer.

The article’s been pulled down. . .

Here is the link to the full article:

Little Green Footballs Article

Glenn Greenwald  seems to be disputing some of the story. It’s all at the link. Meanwhile,  Mr. Madsen does not seem to be a stranger to conspiracy theories. Wiki has an article about him, and I am going to provide a lengthy excerpt from that article to show the scope of his theories:

Reporting and opinions

In 2002 he suggested to The Guardian newspaper that the United States Navy had aided in an attempted overthrow of Venezuelan president, Hugo Chavez.

In 2003 he said that he had uncovered information linking the September 11 attacks to the government of Saudi Arabia as well as to Bush administration. In 2005, he wrote that an unidentified former CIA agent claimed that the USS Cole was actually hit by a Popeye cruise missile launched from an Israeli Dolphin-class submarine.

On 17 May 2005, Madsen testified regarding American policy in the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) before a Subcommittee on International Operations and Human Rights hearing on the situation in the DRC. According to the news magazine New African, Madsens testimony was “was so revealing that the mainstream Western media…have refused to print it.”

In 2005 he said that the pro-Israel lobby, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, had pressured American politicians to stay away from protests against the Iraq War.

Later that year he criticized the movie industry for indirectly causing suffering in Africa by promoting diamonds in movies like Breakfast At Tiffany’s and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. He included Leonardo DiCaprio, whose film Blood Diamond dealt with the issue, as well as Russell Simmons who is selling a line of “nonconflict diamonds.” Madsen said about them, “It’s a p.r. campaign. They should be saying, ‘Don’t buy diamonds at all.’

In a 2008 ArabNews article, Madsen is quoted as suggesting that the criminal prosecution of New York State governor Eliot Spitzer was partly due to the Israeli intelligence agency Mossad.

On June 9, 2008 he reported that unnamed “GOP dirty tricks operatives” had found a Kenyan birth certificate registering the birth of Barack Obama, Jr. on August 4, 1961. “However, the registration is a common practice in African countries whose citizens abroad have families with foreign nationals.”  This birth certificate was a cornerstone of the “Kenyan Born” subset of the birther conspiracy theories, and Madsen’s article was cited in a Washington state petition challenging Obama’s eligibility to serve. Madsen has also claimed that Obama is gay.

On April 25, 2009, Madsen reported that some unidentified UN World Health Organization officials and scientists believed the 2009 new H1N1 strain of swine flu virus appeared to be the product of U.S. military sponsored gene splicing, as opposed to natural processes. While it can not be ruled out that the virus was created in a research laboratory or vaccine factory, the most plausible explanation is that the virus is the result of modern farming techniques. New Scientist magazine cited the example of a H1N2 influenza pandemic in the 1990s that only affected pigs in the United Kingdom. This subtype of the H1N2 was also a reassortment (mix) of swine, human and avian strains.

In July 2009, Madsen released a report saying there was a “Q Group” within the National Security Agency tasked with plugging leaks of classified information and the monitoring and suppression of journalists who report on the NSA. He noted that with the approaching 10th anniversary of 9/11, the group have “made plans to stop any new revelations that would point to high-level U.S. and Israeli government involvement in the 9/11 attacks” that included the use of Wikileaks to identify potential “leakers”.

In 2010, Madsen reported in the Pakistan Daily that unnamed sources suggested that the company formerly known as Blackwater, had been conducting false-flag operations in Pakistan that were blamed on the Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan.

In June 2012 Madsen self-published his sixth book. The book purports to be an expose of Barack Obama’s rise in American politics and the CIA’s role in his attaining the Presidency. He has been described by Andrew Sullivan of the Atlantic Monthly as a conspiracy theorist.


In addition to the above, here is a youtube interview he had with Alex Jones on the Birther issue:

Now from all that it is pretty obvious that Madsen is a general all-round dyed in the wool conspiracy theorist. On top of that he is a full-fledged Birther adhering to both the “Kenyan Birth” and the  “Two Citizen Parents” strains of Birtherism. From the above Wiki article, The Guardian has already cited him in 2002 on the U.S.Navy-Chavez  conspiracy theory. So they knew who he was and what they were getting with him. But what has changed since then??? All the other conspiracy theories were in the same  “The government is doing unbelievable underhanded stuff” vein.

There is a musical term called “timbre”, which is defined as the unique quality of an instrument’s sound; its “voice.” Timbre describes the difference between two tones played in the same pitch and volume. For example, timbre is what you observe when you compare the same note on a piano and a guitar, or between an acoustic guitar and an electric guitar.

I think that term applies here.  For most of his theories, Madsen is playing the  note on a grand piano. For his Birtherism, he is playing the same note on a busted kazoo, and you can hear the toilet paper membrane flapping.  One sound is tolerable, and the other is not. Before the Guardian article was pulled,  Madsen’s conspiracy theory predilections were well known. See this from Note 1 below:

In an interview published last night on the PrivacySurgeon.org blog, Madsen, who has been attacked for holding controversial views on espionage issues, said he had decided to speak out after becoming concerned about the “half story” told by EU politicians regarding the extent of the NSA’s activities in Europe.

Sooo, it does not appear to be the run of the mill tin foil stuff that caused the Guardian to yank the Yank. That was being played on the grand piano, where even badly written music can be listened to without permanent otic damage. And the original story  sounds totally believable to me.  I don’t see why other governments wouldn’t work with the NSA.

A few minutes after I published this article, I checked The Drudge Report, and the Wayne Madsen NSA story is linked there to a Salon post:

The NSA has been working with at least seven European other countries to collect personal communications data, according to Wayne Madsen, a former NSA contractor who has come forward because he does not think the public should not be “kept in the dark.” According to Madsen, Denmark, the Netherlands, France, Germany, Spain and Italy all have formed secret agreements with the US to submit sensitive data.

Salon Madsen NSA Article

So, the problem isn’t the story. My GUESS is that the Birtherism nonsense is what put him over the top for them. Because Birtherism always sounds like an incompetent performer is trying to sadistically annoy you with a cruel and terrible kazoo. Once that happens, you just don’t want to go to another one of that guy’s concerts no matter what instrument he has switched to.  Johnson at the LGF link above provides several tweets back and forth, to the Guardian specifically pointing out Madsens birthery opinions. So, I think there is some basis for my opinion.

This story is still developing, but for the time being, it looks like even purveyors of rabid conspiracy theories have their standards. And Birthers are persona non grata.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: Here is a copy and paste of the original Guardian article from the google cache. I have put it here because it will eventually be replaced with the updated article. Here is the link to the cache:

Guardian Story Cache At Google

Revealed: secret European deals to hand over private data to America

Germany ‘among countries offering intelligence’ according to new claims by former US defence analyst

Wayne Madsen

Wayne Madsen, an NSA worker for 12 years, has revealed that six EU countries, in addition to the UK, colluded in data harvesting.

At least six European Union countries in addition to Britain have been colluding with the US over the mass harvesting of personal communications data, according to a former contractor to America’s National Security Agency, who said the public should not be “kept in the dark”.

Wayne Madsen, a former US navy lieutenant who first worked for the NSA in 1985 and over the next 12 years held several sensitive positions within the agency, names Denmark, the Netherlands, France, Germany, Spain and Italy as having secret deals with the US.

Madsen said the countries had “formal second and third party status” under signal intelligence (sigint) agreements that compels them to hand over data, including mobile phone and internet information to the NSA if requested.

Under international intelligence agreements, confirmed by declassified documents, nations are categorised by the US according to their trust level. The US is first party while the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand enjoy second party relationships. Germany and France have third party relationships.

In an interview published last night on the PrivacySurgeon.org blog, Madsen, who has been attacked for holding controversial views on espionage issues, said he had decided to speak out after becoming concerned about the “half story” told by EU politicians regarding the extent of the NSA’s activities inEurope.

He said that under the agreements, which were drawn up after the second world war, the “NSA gets the lion’s share” of the sigint “take”. In return, the third parties to the NSA agreements received “highly sanitised intelligence”.

Madsen said he was alarmed at the “sanctimonious outcry” of political leaders who were “feigning shock” about the spying operations while staying silent about their own arrangements with the US, and was particularly concerned that senior German politicians had accused the UK of spying when their country had a similar third-party deal with the NSA.

Although the level of co-operation provided by other European countries to the NSA is not on the same scale as that provided by the UK, the allegations are potentially embarrassing.

“I can’t understand how Angela Merkel can keep a straight face, demanding assurances from [Barack] Obama and the UK while Germany has entered into those exact relationships,” Madsen said.

The Liberal Democrat MEP Baroness Ludford, a senior member of the European parliament’s civil liberties, justice and home affairs committee, said Madsen’s allegations confirmed that the entire system for monitoring data interception was a mess, because the EU was unable to intervene in intelligence matters, which remained the exclusive concern of national governments.

“The intelligence agencies are exploiting these contradictions and no one is really holding them to account,” Ludford said. “It’s terribly undermining to liberal democracy.”

Madsen’s disclosures have prompted calls for European governments to come clean on their arrangements with the NSA. “There needs to be transparency as to whether or not it is legal for the US or any other security service to interrogate private material,” said John Cooper QC, a leading international human rights lawyer. “The problem here is that none of these arrangements has been debated in any democratic arena. I agree with William Hague that sometimes things have to be done in secret, but you don’t break the law in secret.”

Madsen said all seven European countries and the US have access to the Tat 14 fibre-optic cable network running between Denmark and Germany, the Netherlands, France, the UK and the US, allowing them to intercept vast amounts of data, including phone calls, emails and records of users’ access to websites.

He said the public needed to be made aware of the full scale of the communication-sharing arrangements between European countries and the US, which predate the internet and became of strategic importance during the cold war.

The covert relationship between the countries was first outlined in a 2001 report by the European parliament, but their explicit connection with the NSA was not publicised until Madsen decided to speak out.

The European parliament’s report followed revelations that the NSA was conducting a global intelligence-gathering operation, known as Echelon, which appears to have established the framework for European member states to collaborate with the US.

“A lot of this information isn’t secret, nor is it new,” Madsen said. “It’s just that governments have chosen to keep the public in the dark about it. The days when they could get away with a conspiracy of silence are over.”

This month another former NSA contractor, Edward Snowden, revealed to the Guardian previously undisclosed US programmes to monitor telephone and internet traffic. The NSA is alleged to have shared some of its data, gathered using a specialist tool called Prism, with Britain’s GCHQ.

BREAKING!!! NSA Cryptographers Stumped By Birthers!!! (Or, Butterdezillion Saves Israel???)


Deciphering Butterdezillion Communications Were Particularly Labor Intensive

This is a VERY SERIOUS Internet Article. If I disappear in the next few days, this will be the reason why! A person claiming to be a high level employee of the NSA, the National Security Agency CALLED me on my cell phone!!! Nobody would know my real person cell phone number but the NSA! And, my BFF Fabian Sheen, Esq., an attorney.  She is the only other person in the whole world who knows that the REAL ME is Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter!  and she says it wasn’t her. So the NSA guy must have found this out as part of their Prism Project.

He said the NSA was making selective disclosures of their successes to counter criticism of their widespread monitoring and data collection. If that is the case here, then I am safe. Because I am helping the NSA. But if the guy was actually Eric Snowden, then I am just an unwitting dupe and  totally screwed. So, when you read this, make a screen save and hide it somewhere in case you have to get me out of Gitmo, or  un-renditioned from some foreign hell hole. Fabia has promised to take care of my cats.

Anyway, according to Mr. X,  the NSA is having literal, real live fits with the Birthers. I made notes as we talked. He says the Birthers first popped up on their radar screens in 2008 when the words “Chinese” and “Wong Kim Ark” increased their word count level in some database thingy. On top of that, he said the name, “Vattel” was being picked up as “Patel” in aural recordings. Patel is like the “Smith” of last names in India. This gave the whole Birther thing sinister Asian overtones.

To continue, and all this is from him, he said that there was some disagreement at first between those who thought the Birther chatter was just meaningless, mindless babble, and those who thought it was just meaningless, mindless babble with secret messages hidden inside. The first problems came from the NSA Communications Analysis staff.  Mr. X said that these staff members, well trained in foreign languages, are extremely sensitive to the placement of nouns, verbs, and objects in sentence structure, whether oral or written. They are trained to take note of subtle changes in sentence structures and phrasing.

After analyzing Birther communications, several of these individuals began suffering from nervous tics, random involuntary head shaking, and various dissociative disorders wherein they would experience short, but significant breaks from reality. The syndrome was given the name, Birther Language  Induced Psychosis, or simply BLIP. The NSA was able to overcome this condition by augmenting regular staff training with a three week internship at a mental hospital.  The multi-week exposure to the inmates and mental patients acted as a sort of vaccination to boost the analysts’ tolerance levels.

Which, is where the next problem occurred. Mr. X says that the NSA has something they call Mathematical Algorithm Language Ware, or MAL Ware. This is very technical and way over my head. But, I will try to explain it the same way he explained it to me.  He said that sentences and phrases can be converted to mathematical values, and then analyzed as math, not language. Words like “if, then, therefore, conclusion, maybe, and all” get converted to symbols and then analyzed for meanings.

He said MAL Ware was able to translate almost any word in any language to these symbols, and then analyze the whole communication. But, sometimes the results came out like a bad Google language translation.  So, during the three weeks that the analysis staff was occupied getting exposed to psychotics, and people who talk to telephone poles, the NSA had to run all the Birther stuff through the MAL Ware computer program. There were some unexpected results.

For example, language from Mario Apuzzo, Esq., caused the MAL Ware machine hard drives to spin at high speeds for prolonged periods of time while producing no discernible result whatsoever.  Input from Butterdezillion produced much more malignant results. MAL Ware CPU’s began chugging down like a car does when it gets dirt in the fuel line. Then, the CPU would overheat, and melt out of its soldering. Some NSA computer technicians were  convinced the CPU chips were trying to crawl away from the Mother Board on their little legs. Further analysis discovered that unlike normal computer code, which consists of “ones” and “zeros”,  the Birther translated code was almost entirely composed of nothing! It was mostly all zeros!

This had severe national security implications, and an emergency meeting at the White House was convened.  Some advisers claimed this was part of a Chinese led hacking program, called WKA.  And, that as the bad Birther code further devolved into something called low level machine language, computers across the country would begin to melt down.

Other advisors were convinced that this was a fortuitous event, and the United States should take advantage of its higher than normal percentage  of crazy persons.  They argued that rational persons could never develop the depths of irrational thought patterns exhibited by the Birthers. Because MAL Ware could translate the irrational thought processes into mathematical code, the United States could quickly weaponize this advantage.

An uneasy truce was reached between the two sides. The NSA immediately contacted operators of the nation’s internet and communication infrastructure to route all known Birther-related communications through a special optical fiber cable network for further analysis. For reasons of national security, the IRS was instructed to slow down “patriot” and “Tea Party” 504(c) applications to reduce the load of Birther traffic on the already strained network. The website belonging to Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.  was periodically hacked by the NSA to further reduce the magnitude of the potentially destructive Birther code.

A separate computer group working inside the NSA began work combining  snippets of Apuzzo code and snippets of Butterdezillion code into a destructive computer virus called STUX.  By 2010, this code was deployed in Iran to destroy the computer driven devices in their nuclear program.  It was a success, and a potential nuclear war between Israel and Iran was temporarily avoided.

These scientists are convinced that if they can learn to comprehend the illogic contained in Butterdezillion’s writings, particularly where “in-valid” is not opposed to “valid”, but instead entirely contained within “valid”,  they can create a Super-Stux virus.  Meanwhile, the WKA group, who are convinced the Birthers are part of a secret Chinese computer infiltration plot, continue to analyze the various Birther communications for any hidden rational meanings. So far, they have struck out.

However, both groups are convinced of the potential dangers from handling the Birther material. A new NSA complex is being constructed in Utah which will house both groups, safe and apart from Washington, D.C., and other high population centers. Just in case the whole darn thing melts down.

I am pretty sure this is a true story, because it explains so many things that have happened and that are currently in the news.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. If you can’t read the signs on the wall, just click on the Image to make it larger.  As far as the Image Easter Egg, this is another word play. Rotors were utilized in early coding and de-coding machines. A roto-rooter on the other hand, is a useful device for unplugging sewer lines. Wiki has an interesting article on the early machines: