Tag Archives: Sheriff Joe

A Birther Mid-Summer’s Night Dream!!!


Reed Hayes Admits To The Girl Reporter That He Never Actually Examined The Real Document

The seasons come, and the seasons go. Life is a cycle, and once again mid summer is upon us. True to ancient rituals, the Birthers are cavorting about by moonlight in the woodlands and meadows of America, and in general making asses out of themselves(see Note 3 below) . This time, the ostensible reason is that a humble Hawaiian document examiner, Reed Hayes, may topple Obama.

The story is at over at Free Republic, and ORYR, and even being spread around the Internet in various comment sections. Inhibitions lowered by untaxed spirits will drive wild mating rituals.  Roofs will be raised in barns, and trailers will be set  a’ rocking from  Georgia to Oklahoma.  Nine months hence, new little Birthers will arrive, some with names like Reed and Reedella in honor of this year’s fertility god. But, it isn’t really the Reed Hayes story that is driving all this.  Because there isn’t a story. He bases his conclusion on some online images presented him by the Cold Case Posse. This latest round pheromone pumping began over at The Western Center For Journalism:

There have been many lawsuits challenging Barack Obama’s eligibility to be President—most based on the fact that Obama is not a natural born citizen, his father being a Kenyan. Other lawsuits challenge the validity of Obama’s PDF long-form birth certificate, riddled with strange anomalies like multiple layers and eight different fonts.

The lawsuits have all crashed and burned in flames for two reasons: 1. The court hearing the lawsuits have treated the cases as a joke instead of a valid question of Constitutional requirements. And 2. The plaintiffs haven’t had Reed Hayes on their side.

Reed Hayes  is a forensic document expert who may be the man who finally brings down the Obama administration.

There is more such merriment at this link:


Here is the money quote:

Based on my observations and findings, it is clear the Certificate of Live Birth I examined is not a scan of an original paper birth certificate but a digitally manufactured document created by utilizing  material from various sources.

and a short video:

My GUESS is, that poor Reed Hayes already rues the day he ever decided he needed $50 badly enough to get in bed with Mike Zullo. Because Reed Hayes has never seen or touched the original document. And here the Birthers are, presenting him as someone who may topple the President. How is the poor man going to be able to go out in public after the Cold Case Posse heads for the Last Round Up, which ought to occur within the next few months? Because even the most stubborn Birther is getting fed up with “We are meeting with VIPs right now“, and “This is going to be REALLY BIG!“, and “Just keep sending us your money!

Particularly with Orly Taitz out there accusing Team Arpaio of having Low T, impotence,  performance anxiety, and fighting like girly-men.  There is nothing wrong with silly-season, as long as you know it’s silly. But no matter how much fun the fantasy, sooner or later you have to wake up. If I was the Birthers, I wouldn’t lose the flame-retardant long johns just yet.  And what was that Shakespeare said???

Shall we their fond documents see?
Lord, what fools these Birthers be!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is James Cagney, playing the role of Bottom, in William Shakespeare’s 1935 film, A Midsummer’s Night Dream. Unable to find funding in Great Britain, Shakespeare brought the script to Hollywood. Warner Brothers snapped it up, but after a squabble with Hal Wallis, Shakespeare was denied the right to make any script changes, and any voice at all in casting the players. As he complained later, it was like he wasn’t even there. As Wiki notes:

Directed by Max Reinhardt and William Dieterle, and starring Ian Hunter, James Cagney, Mickey Rooney, Olivia de Havilland, Joe E. Brown, Dick Powell, and Victor Jory. Produced by Henry Blanke and Hal Wallis for Warner Brothers, and adapted by Charles Kenyon and Mary C. McCall Jr. from Reinhardt’s Hollywood Bowl production of the previous year, the film is about the events surrounding the marriage of the Duke of Athens, Theseus, and the Queen of the Amazons, Hippolyta. These include the adventures of four young Athenian lovers and a group of six amateur actors, who are controlled and manipulated by the fairies who inhabit the forest in which most of the story is set. The play, which is categorized as a comedy, is one of Shakespeare’s most popular works for the stage and is widely performed across the world. Felix Mendelssohn’s music was extensively used, as re-orchestrated by Erich Wolfgang Korngold. The ballet sequences featuring the fairies were choreographed by Bronislava Nijinska.

In the forest outside Athens, Oberon (Victor Jory), the king of the fairies, and Titania (Anita Louise) his queen, are having an argument. Titania tells Oberon that she plans to stay there to attend the wedding of Duke Theseus and Hippolyta. Wanting to punish Titania’s disobedience, Oberon instructs his mischievous court jester Puck (Mickey Rooney) to retrieve a flower called “love-in-idleness”. Originally a white flower, it turns purple when struck by Cupid’s bow. When someone applies the magical love potion to a sleeping person’s eyelids, it makes the victim fall in love with the first living creature seen upon awakening. Meanwhile, the mischievous Puck turns Bottom into a donkey. When Titania wakes up and lays eyes on Bottom as a donkey, she falls in love with him.

Note 2. Midsummer’s Night. Actual Midsummer’s Night occurs within a few days of the Summer Solstice, around June 24 in most countries. In contrast, Mid-Summer occurs sometime between June 21 and September 21.

Note 3. Ass. This is NOT a bad word!!! As noted by Gershon Legman, in one of his collections, I forget which one:

There once was a girl from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass!
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think.
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass!

If you have never heard of Gershon Legman, see here:


Note 4. Other Reed Hayes articles:



Saving America With The SHERIFF Plan???

The Sheriff Plan

As Usual, The Birther’s Load Kept Coming Up A Few Bricks Shy

Well, I have heard of the MARSHALL Plan, but now it seems we have a SHERIFF Plan to repair what’s wrong with America. By getting rid of Obama. Here is an excerpt from an hysterical World Net Daily email blast:

Is the biggest Obama scandal yet about to hit?
Major new development in eligibility case promised by investigators

Every day brings a new shocking headline:

      • The Obama administration provided U.S. firearms to the drug cartels in Mexico, resulting in the deaths of two U.S. law enforcement agents and countless American and Mexican citizens, apparently in an effort to make a political case for gun control.
      • The Obama administration covered up a debacle in Benghazi that cost the lives of Ambassador Christopher Stevens and other Americans.
      • The Obama administration used the Internal Revenue Service as an attack dog against its political adversaries, including, but not limited to, the tea party movement.
    • The Obama administration even targeted its friends in the media by spying on journalists at the largest news-gathering operation in the world, the Associated Press, along with a reporter from Fox News.

Could this be just the tip of the iceberg?

Have the media begun to turn?

Why are even some of Barack Obama’s most loyal supporters beginning to have their doubts?

Why did the first post-scandal poll show some 50 percent of Americans supporting impeachment of Obama?

What would happen, in this climate, if Obama’s biggest secret ever were blown wide open for the public to see?

What is that biggest secret? It’s that Obama’s Hawaii “birth certificate” is, beyond any shadow of a doubt, a forgery – a fraud.

That scandal, too, is about to break wide open, according to investigators working within Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Cold Case Posse. They say some new earth-shattering developments will soon be announced.

***But the Cold Case Posse investigation, headed by Mike Zullo, desperately needs financial support to complete its work. ***

Here is the link to the full story at Poo Poo Simmons:


Yeah, fat chance when Zullo has already spilled the beans that the Cold Case Posse doesn’t have enough evidence to what was that Zullo said??? Oh yeah, this:

I know [Taitz] had 20-some-odd court cases on this very issue and maybe now she’s feeling very threatened,” Zullo said. “There is not enough evidence to convict him on jaywalking … let alone anything else.”


But sure, send some more money because that will automatically help upgrade that attempted jaywalking non-count to maybe full fledged jaywalking in the first degree with felonious intent. At least, that is how The Sheriff Plan works. But, the main thing is, SEND MONEY!!!

Whatever. Any Birther who buys into that is more than just a few bricks shy of a full load. Their hod is missing its bottom.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is an actual photo of a Marshall Plan in action. Well, maybe the sign has been changed a little. Wiki says this:

The Marshall Plan (officially the European Recovery Program, ERP) was the American program to aid Europe, in which the United States gave economic support to help rebuild European economies after the end of World War II in order to prevent the spread of Soviet Communism.[1] The plan was in operation for four years beginning in April 1948.[2] The goals of the United States were to rebuild a war-devastated region, remove trade barriers, modernize industry, and make Europe prosperous again.[3] The term “equivalent of the Marshall Plan” is often used to describe a proposed large-scale rescue program.[4]


For ESL’s there is a wordplay in the title on Marshall, which is also an acceptable spelling for a law man (Marshal), and a Sheriff, such as Joe Arpaio. The idiom, a few bricks shy of a full load means that one is less than reasonably intelligent. For fun, and more idioms, see here:


For those interested, here is the original photo:

Marshall Plan

The German words mean: Berlin’s Emergency Program with Marshall Plan Aid


Witless For The Prosecution??? (Or, Sheriff Joe Flops With The Prosecutor)

They Couldn’t Believe The Crap Sheriff Joe Was Trying To Pull

Well, a Birther wrote one of those “Open Letters” to the Maricopa County Prosecutor Bill Montgomery, and here is the answer. The original letter, and other information is at the link below.

Dear Mr. Reilly,

Thank you for taking the time to write and for the concerns you have expressed. There are a couple of points of analysis, though, in determining whether a criminal charge can be filed, regardless of the charge or who the suspect might be. The first is whether I have jurisdiction over the case. That requires that some conduct had to have occurred in Maricopa County for me to have jurisdiction. From the Sheriff’s Office investigation into suspect documents produced by the White House to date, that investigation has not revealed any evidence that conduct occurred in Maricopa County. I have discussed this with the Sheriff. As for any issues regarding qualifications or information provided regarding the Presidential Election itself, that is a statewide election. Under Arizona law, the Secretary of State and the Attorney General have jurisdiction over statewide elections. I do not.

I will share with you, as well, that the criminal statute you cited in your message requires additional evidence that the MCSO investigation to date has not uncovered. Specifically, we would need evidence to affirmatively prove that Mr. Obama is not a US citizen. To date, there has been evidence presented leading to speculation that documents have been forged and other documents do not exist. That alone, though, is not sufficient evidence to present to a grand jury and actually have a reasonable likelihood of conviction. I cannot speak for other prosecutors at the state level around the rest of the country or for prosecutors at the federal level but Arizona?s ethics rules do not permit prosecutors to file a charge they can only hope to be able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt at a later stage.

I stand ready and willing, however, to review any case submitted for charges and, if the evidence is there, I will prosecute regardless of who the suspect/defendant may be.


Bill Montgomery
Maricopa County Attorney


Birthers should not be surprised that there is insufficient evidence for prosecution. I patiently explained this to them in a previous  Internet Article:

Others, like Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. and numerous Freeper Birfers, are filled with indignation because the saner part of the universe simply ignores Arpaio and the Cold Case Posse’s claims of forgery. Sooo, I have decided to deconstruct the issue and get down to specifics. First, let us get a workable definition offorgery. This one, from the Free Legal Dictionary, seems typical:

The creation of a false written document or alteration of a genuine onewith the intent to defraud.

Forgery consists of filling in blanks on a document containing a genuine signature, or materially altering or erasing an existing instrument. An underlying intent to defraud, based on knowledge of the false nature of the instrument, must accompany the act.

Since the word defraud is used twice, let’s define that word also, from the same source:

[T]o use deceit, falsehoods, or trickery to obtain money, an object, rights or anything of value belonging to another.

Legally, any erroneous information would have to have been put in, or altered,  with the intent to defraud, so that simple clerical errors or harmless mistakes would not constitute forgery. For example, if a clerk penciled in the number “9″ for the Father’s Race, when the correct code should have been “2″, there is no forgery.  Mainly, because there was no evil intent and no one is being defrauded of anything.

I would submit that Sheriff Joe, Deputy Zullo, The Cold Case Posse, Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, and other Birthers have completely and utterly failed to prove any of the elements of a forgery claim. Not only have they failed to substantially prove any of the forgery elements, they have not even made a credible  allegation of any element of forgery.


In other words. . .


Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is Tyrone Power and Marlene Dietrich from the 1957 film, Witness For The Prosecution. Wiki says, in part:

Witness for the Prosecution is a 1957 American courtroom drama film based on a short story (and later play) by Agatha Christie dealing with the trial of a man accused of murder. The first film adaptation of this story, it stars Tyrone Power (in his final screen role), Marlene Dietrich, and Charles Laughton, and features Elsa Lanchester. The film was adapted by Larry Marcus, Harry Kurnitz and the film’s director Billy Wilder.

Note 2. Bio. Mr. Montgomery’s bio can be found here:


Note 3. The Image Easter Egg. Marlene Dietrich became famous in the 1930 film, The Blue Angel. Arpaio blew (messed up) his angle ( a biased way of looking at or presenting something) by failing to find any false information on the long form image.


A Virtual Birtherfest!!! (Or, A Ticket To Deride)

Birther Judy, from Buckshot, Arizona, Was So Very Glad She Came

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am very disappointed that the Birtherfest planned for September, 22, 2012 had to be called off for lousy ticket sales. Falling on the Pagan holiday of Mabon, or Harvest Home, I was really expecting some fireworks. Well, I am just not going to take it lying down. Sooo, Girl Reporter Productions proudly presents:

                  The Virtual BirtherFest

Ring Master: First,  to get things off on the right foot, Mr. Pat Boone, doing his hit song Crazy Train:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that something else? And next, to introduce the Hero of Leavenworth, Col. Terry Lakin, and discuss Terry’s wonderful book, Officer’s Oath, is Texan LoneStar1776, aka Rudy Davis:

LoneStar1776: And now, here is Colonel Terry Lakin appearing from the studios of the The Manning Report:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that exciting!!! Now, the one and only Pat Boone, showing off another one of his many talents!

Ring Master: Wasn’t that hilarious! Let’s have another big round of applause for Pat Boone!

Ring Master: And now, a few words from Sheriff Joe Arpaio, courtesy of AMTV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that inspiring??? Now we have CitizenPatriot Tom Ballantyne with a brief speech from his gun shop:

Now, Mr. Pat Boone performing a medley of songs to entertain you:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that special??? Now, for our final speaker of the day, we have Hollywood Movie Producer Bettina Viviano appearing courtesy of WND TV:

Ring Master: Wasn’t that scary good??? Now, all the speeches are over and it’s time for the  meet and greet and dance!

                       The End.

The After Party Report

Sooo, now everybody headed over to the hotel next door. All the City Birthers were having a good time, chilling, getting their groove on, and making their hook-ups for the evening when Country Birfer, who can’t afford a ticket, showed up and made like a giant buzz kill. He got drunk and started throwing furniture around, so management called the cops:

Country Birfer Underestimated The Drinks With The Little Umbrellas

Thankfully, the Cold Case Posse handled him, but then, just when the  party was getting back on track,  a rowdy motorcycle gang showed up:

The Leader Of The Pack Starts Picking On Sam Sewell

A drunk Pat Boone insulted their “leather” and challenged them to a fight:

Pat Boone Didn’t Have Any Brass Knuckles, But He Figured His Rings Would Work Just As Well

And the whole thing ended up outside in a giant mud fight:

The Birthers Had A Natural Advantage In The Mud

Birthers wallowing in the mud. How apropos!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Problems. Orly Taitz showed up and demanded to speak, but was told there was no way to fit her in. She is adding the organizers to her massive lawsuit as defendants. Be sure to click on the picture. It’s animated, in addition to having an Easter Egg.:

Orly Didn’t Believe There Was No Way To Fit Her In

Note 2. Link. Here is a link to the story about the cancellation of this event:


Note 3. Ticket & Refund Policy

Our policy is NO Refunds and NO Exchanges for tickets purchased either online or in person. Admission to this show is guaranteed for as long as WordPress hosts this website. Must be 18 years or older to attend, unless accompanied by an adult. The Birther Think Tank is not responsible for any brain damage caused by any of the material herein.

The Curse Of Wong Kim Ark!!! (Or, No Tickee, No Birfapalooza)

Few Man Choose To Buy Tickets To The Birther Event???

Apparently, The Curse of Wong Kim Ark has struck once again, and a Birther event has been cancelled due to a lack of interest. And a lack of ticket sales. First, it was The Birther Summit back in March, and now it is:

(Click image to enlarge.)


Oh my, another epic Birther flop. Perhaps the Tea Party should just concentrate on politics and leave the stupid Birther crap alone??? Are you listening, Mark Gillar??? And to think this all started out sooo grand:

Anyway, we tracked down one of the nine ticket purchasers, who wishes to remain anonymous for the time being. He tells us that he has retained Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq. to file suit to get back the money he spent on clothes for the event:

Thinking Ahead, The Birther Even Bought A Flashlight So He Could Find His Butt In The Dark With Both Hands

Darn! I was really looking forward to reporting on this event.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is from the 1932 film, The Mask of Fu Man Chu, starring Boris Karloff and Myrna Loy. Wiki says, in part:

The Mask of Fu Manchu is a Pre-Code adventure film released in 1932, featuring Boris Karloff as Fu Manchu and Myrna Loyas his daughter. The movie revolves around Fu Manchu’s quest for the sword and mask of Genghis Khan. Lewis Stone plays his nemesis. Directed by Charles Brabin, it is considered the best of the Fu Manchu films produced in the 1930s.

Hint. There is more than one Easter Egg in this one.

Note 2. Links. I wrote two Internet Articles about this event.  Maybe the whole Human Sacrifice thing in the second one had some effect on ticket sales???



Note 3. Chinese Pidgin English  Wiki has an interesting short Internet Article about pidgin Chinese, which includes the “no tickee, no washee” thing I found at one of the links:

A Chinese woman living on the remote Salmon River in central Idaho is reported as finding humor in “Uncle Josh in a Chinese Laundry” as played on a neighbor’s wind-up phonograph about 1917.[20] Yankee humorist Cal Stewart performed as Uncle Josh Weathersby, resident of the small New England town of Pumpkin Centre. The dialect story was published in Uncle Josh’s Punkin Centre Stories (1903).[21] In this story, Uncle Josh is visiting New York and inquires about laundry services. He is directed to a nearby Chinese laundry:

So I told him I’d like to git him to do some washin’ fer me, and he commenced a talkin’ some outlandish lingo, sounded to me like cider runnin’ out of a jug, somethin’ like–ung tong oowong fang kai moi oo ung we, velly good washee. Wall I understood the last of it and jist took his word fer the rest, so I giv him my clothes and he giv me a little yeller ticket that he painted with a brush what he had, and I’ll jist bet a yoke of steers agin the holler in a log, that no livin’ mortal man could read that ticket; it looked like a fly had fell into the ink bottle and then crawled over the paper.

Not recognizing the ticket as his claim, and misdirected by a city slicker, Josh cannot produce the ticket when he calls for his laundry. The phrase “No tickee, no washhee” is not included. In spite of the laundryman’s protestations, Josh assaults him, and runs off with somebody else’s shirts, a part of the laundryman’s queue, with the laundryman yelling for the police behind him. Uncle Josh, as the rube, is gulled by the city slicker (by implication) and takes out his frustration on the innocent laundryman. I found this not much funnier with Stewart’s nasal Yankee dialect and characteristic laugh as part of the delivery.[22]

Mieder records the earliest documented use of “No tickee, no washee” as 1931[23]; which seems to be a half-century or so later than one would think. Because it is such a central concept to Cal Stewart’s dialect story, it is surprising he did not use the phrase. Does that mean that its use did not become widespread until after 1903 and before 1931? This would be contrary to the general expectation that the phrase originated in the late nineteenth century, probably in California.[24]



Note 4.  The Birther Clothes Image. This is actually Jackie Gleason playing Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners, an old timey TV show. This episode is The Man From Space, and I found this blurb, at the link below where you can watch the whole episode:

The Man from Space 1955

Determined to win a $50 prize for “best costume” at the Raccoon’s annual Halloween party, Ralph tries to wheedle ten bucks out of Norton so that he can rent a Henry the Eighth outfit. But Norton also wants to rent a costume and turns Ralph down. Declaring war on Ed, Ralph decides to construct his own elaborate costume out of furniture and kitchen utensils. But Ralph’s jerry-built “Martian” outfit is no match for the winning costume — and we aren’t about to tell you what that is. Among other things, this episode reveals that Ed Norton’s personal idol is Pierre Francois de la Brioche, the man who designed and constructed the sewers of Paris (or so Ed thinks!). First telecast on December 31, 1955, “The Man from Space” was written by A.J. Russell and Herbert Finn.

Retroflix Honeymooners Episodes

Earth To Orly Taitz!!! (Or, Another Sheriff Speaks Mighty Words Of Wisdom)

The Lights In Her Spaceship Were On, But Was Anybody Home???

Well, Orly Taitz is out there trying to run down Sheriff Joe and Mike Zullo and get some commitment. She’s carrying like some poor knocked up little chippy with her,  “But you told me you loved me, and now I’m pregnant, and you won’t call me back, waaaahhh!”  Here is her latest:

(Click to enlarge.)


This is sooo pitiful and pathetic that I can’t bear to imagine the incredulous look on her face while she was typing it in. It’s like somebody who went on a “Snipe Hunt” and is still holding a bag out there in the woods four days later. Some Good Samaritan has to tell them it was all a practical joke before they die of exposure. It might as well be me.  Here is my “Open Letter” to her.

Dear Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.

What part of “It Was All A Bunch Of Bullsh*t” don’t you get??? Arpaio and Zullo haven’t filed any charges because they didn’t find anything to file charges on.  Their whole investigation was a farce from the get-go. They did it for the PUBLICITY and for something to smear Obama with.

You see, Deputy Jerome “Jerry” Corsi was caught flat-footed back in April 2011. There Corsi was, just about to turn loose his brand new book, “Where’s The Birth Certificate?” and SQUABASH!, Obama  coughed up the long form whilethe book was en route to the shelves. Ooops!  That made Corsi look kind of stupid, even to the faithful.  And, as he continued to pump the old “It’s A Fake!” spiel, he looked even more like a cheap hack writing “Big Foot Baby Daddy” stories.  Corsi, and the folks who were still Birthers badly need a shot of respectability.

So in combination with a bunch of kooky Arizona Tea Party Birthers, they all prevailed upon Sheriff Joe Arpaio to investigate. Arpaio appointed the Cold Case Posse to look into the matter with Corsi playing a big part in the investigation. He even became a “Special Deputy.” You probably never read it, but back in April, I wrote an Internet Article here about YOU being investigated by the DOJ with the Obots helping them.  That is the same silly thing happened when the Cold Case Posse let Corsi in.  The whole thing became an even worse joke than it already was.

Fast Forward six months or so and we have the Cold Case Posse press conference and the idiotic forgery claims. Do you really understand the basis for the forgery claim? It isn’t that they proved any information on the long form was false, or materially altered with the aim to defraud someone out of some benefit. That is the LEGAL definition of forgery in most states. No, what you have in Phoenix, is some photo-shopping experts testifying that they can’t figure out how the long form was scanned and uploaded to the Internet. And some questions about a 30 year old postal dating stamp.

In fact, the Arizona Secretary of State got a verification from Alvin Onaka Ph.D,  the Hawaiian State Registrar, that Obama was born in Hawaii, and that the long form information matches their records. So you see, Orly, there isn’t any forgery and there isn’t any ObamaForgeryGate. Even Sheriff Joe and Zullo openly admit that they are not accusing Obama of doing anything criminal.

I mentioned something called a “Snipe Hunt” above. You probably didn’t have these in Moldova, so let me explain how one works. A group of people decides to fool some naive and trusting individual. So they set them out in the woods with a bag, and tell them to wait while the rest go off and drive the snipe toward them. When the snipe(s) get there, the gullible person is supposed to catch them in the bag.

But the other people really aren’t out in the woods driving snipe toward the bag. No. They are in a bar somewhere boozing it up and laughing at the idiot out there in the woods holding the bag, waiting for the imaginary snipe to come along. Orly, that person in the woods is YOU. You are the sucker who bought into the whole Cold Case Posse thing, the same way you bought into the Susan Daniels foolishness.

So, while you call on Mike Zullo and Sheriff Joe to come to your rescue . . . they aren’t coming. Figuratively speaking, they are sitting in a bar somewhere, boozing it up and having a good laugh at your expense. I might be wrong about Zullo. Maybe he is out there on the other side of the woods, all excited, and holding a bag, too. Whichever, let me permit a very famous American Sheriff to give you 4 seconds worth of great advice:

A Famous Sheriff’s Advice


Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. The blank “RKO” image was provided by Deveiver at Deviant Art:


Thank you!!!

Note 2. Links. Here is the link to the post referenced above:


Note 3. Open Letters. Wow, the Birthers are right! This Open Letter stuff is fun! This is my second one, so I am putting it on some Birther Think Tank stationery and doing a pdf of it, too!

Open Letter To Orly

Note 4. The Image Easter Egg. Wiki says about signal to noise ratios:

Signal-to-noise ratio (often abbreviated SNR or S/N) is a measure used in science and engineering that compares the level of a desired signal to the level of background noise. It is defined as the ratio of signal power to the noise power. A ratio higher than 1:1 indicates more signal than noise.

Signal-to-noise ratio is sometimes used informally to refer to the ratio of useful information to false or irrelevant data in a conversation or exchange. For example, in online discussion forums and other online communities, off-topic posts and spam are regarded as “noise” that interferes with the “signal” of appropriate discussion.

Birthers: The Jeremiah Wrights Of the Republican Party!!!

Later, After The Rescue, Someone Would Have To Figure Out How The Birther Got Stuck In His Chamber Pot

It really wasn’t strange that Birthers were neither seen nor heard at the recent RNC Convention in Tampa.  Even Donald Trump got the bum’s rush out the back door.  Romney and Ryan are, trying to present themselves as a rational alternative to Obama, and the last thing they need is a bunch of loud-mouthed conspiracy theorists whooping it up in front of the television audience with charges that every judge in the country is on some scam. Or that Obama was secretly born in Kenya, and both his birth certificates are forgeries.

The people we label as independents are already the kind of people who don’t  easily follow the herd. Put off by the antics of both parties, they try to cast an intelligent vote without regard to the labels. And intelligent people are not going to look with favor upon either candidates, or parties, who consort too much with openly wacky people.

A good example of this occurred 2008 with Obama’s pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Wiki has a very good detailed article about the entire set of events, and here is a brief recap:

The Jeremiah Wright controversy is an American political issue that gained national attention in March 2008 when ABC News, after reviewing dozens of U.S. Presidential candidate Barack Obama’s pastor Jeremiah Wright’s sermons, excerpted parts which were subject to intense media scrutiny. Obama denounced the statements in question, but after critics continued to press the issue of his relationship with Wright he gave a speech titled “A More Perfect Union”, in which he sought to place Dr. Wright’s comments in a historical and sociological context. In the speech, Obama again denounced Wright’s remarks, but did not disown him as a person. The controversy began to fade, but was renewed in late April when Wright made a series of media appearances[.] After the last of these, Obama spoke more forcefully against his former pastor, saying that he was “outraged” and “saddened” by his behavior, and in May he resigned his membership in the church.

It wasn’t that everything Rev. Wright said was wrong. For example, Republicans, conservatives and even Birthers could sign on to his general thesis, Governments Lie and Where governments lie, God does not lie. Where governments change, God does not change.  Liberals, libertarians, and Democrats could give a standing ovation to, the government lied about a connection between Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein and a connection between 9.11.01 and Operation Iraqi Freedom. But, buried in that dissertation are gems like these:

The government lied about Pearl Harbor too. They knew the Japanese were going to attack.

The government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color.

Which, along with several other more publicized remarks, led Maureen Dowd  to call him a wackadoodle. Libertarian commentator Andrew Sullivan said Wright’s comments on the tour were a “calculated, ugly, repulsive, vile display of arrogance, egotism, and self-regard. Columnist Bob Herbert of the New York Times also suggested that Wright was being a “narcissist” and trying to “wreck” Obama’s campaign. (from Wiki article above) And that’s not even getting to what the conservatives said.

All of which led to Obama cutting his ties with Wright, and finding a new church.  This was a politically smart decision, because the Republicans tried, and continue to try, to make people associate Obama with Wright, and other questionable sorts like Bill Ayres. Even to the extent that Wright and Ayres are not necessarily the people they are made out to be, the mere appearance of undifferentiated wackiness, alleged un-Americanism, or extremism  is enough. Elections often hinge on a few votes here and there.

Now, turnabout is fair play. The Democrats are working overtime to associate Romney with the Birthers. Even if they have to invent some Birthers for the purpose.  A recent internet meme had it that  seven Birthers were going to speak at the RNC convention. When I read the list, I thought there were maybe 1 or 1 1/2 genuine Birthers on the list, those being Donald Trump and some clown from Georgia.

For example, poor Janine Turner was thrown into the mix for questioning the reasons that Obama’s book bio said he was born in Kenya. Which, if a Romney book bio said “I was born a poor redneck child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi…” , the Democrats  would be all over that. And rightfully so.   Mike Huckabee was there, in silver underwear. (Damn it, I can’t get that Rocky Horror Picture Show music out of mind from a week or so ago!!!) They’re both called Birthers for either asking or saying far less about the birth certificate issue than Chris Matthews.

Speaking of whom, Matthews is popping Adderall and doing Jagerbombs,  so that he can stay awake long enough to smear every Republican he can lay his mouth on with the Birther Brush, including Condoleeza Rice.  As the Blaze reported:

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews has made it clear his goal this election fall: He will be the one trying to remind everyone that birthers exist within the Republican party  (despite the fact that it was a theory introduced by Hilary Clinton in 2008). And it seems he will go to great lengths to do it. Take this interview with Condoleeza Rice on Wednesday.

After Rice wowed the crowed with a sans-teleprompter speech, MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell scored an interview with her. During it, Matthews seemed unhappy with the questions and at one point awkwardly (and to the seeming frustration of Mitchell) interrupted Mitchell to interject a question about — birtherism.

“Andrea, Andrea, can I ask a question?” he asked. “It’s Chris Matthews. Could you ask the Secretary — her speech was so overwhelmingly positive — but was it kind of a rejoinder to all the birtherism and the narrowness she’s heard in their party?”

Mitchell then repeated the question, but only after Rice gave a puzzled look during the period of silence.


Then there is Soledad O’Brien of CNN and her piece with John Sununu:

SOLEDAD O’BRIEN: Why the birther thing? I mean, I’m going to make an assumption that you don’t agree with Donald Trump –

SUNUNU: I don’t know. Why is CNN – why is CNN so fixated on this? Why don’t we talk about the jobs issue in this country?

O’BRIEN: Sure. And we’re going to get to that in a moment but let’s start with this.

SUNUNU: And the disastrous — but you – it’s CNN that wants to bring it up. I don’t want to bring it up. Mitt Romney has made it clear –

O’BRIEN: I bet you don’t.

SUNUNU: Mitt Romney has made has clear that he believes that President Obama was born in the U.S. You had Donald Trump on last night. And now you are asking the question this morning. It’s CNN’s fixation.

O’BRIEN: So you don’t think it’s a valid question to ask of someone who is posing as a supporter-slash-surrogate at a high level? Donald Trump isn’t your random supporter. He’s a high level big-funder. He’s talked about how much money in the millions of dollars he’s thinking about donating to the campaign. You don’t think that that’s a big deal that that person consistently talks about the fact that he believes the President of the United States is not a citizen of the country?


And of course, there is Romney himself, with his recent little ” Nobody asked to see my birth certificate” joke in Michigan. Democratic pundits are immolating themselves at Romney campaign stops to draw attention to it.  As Jonah Goldberg writes:

Within hours of Romney’s joke, the Obama campaign was trying to turn its outrage into cash. An email appeal from campaign manager Jim Messina repeated Romney’s quote and then said:

“Take a moment or two to think about that, what he’s actually saying, and what it says about Mitt Romney. Then make a donation of $3 or more to re-elect Barack Obama today.”

I know some people take this “birther” stuff very seriously. But I find the whole thing ludicrous. Apparently, if Romney jokes about Obama’s birth certificate, white Americans will suddenly notice the president is black. But when Obama jokes about his birth certificate — or even hawks birther-themed swag on his campaign website, it’s all in good fun.


But I don’t see anything wrong all these smears during an election season. It’s what political parties do. If you can make the voting public think the other guy walks like a maniac, and quacks like a maniac, and is in a crowd of maniacs, then go for it. That is not to say this is the stuff of rational discourse, but if the other guy is clobbering you with a metal folding chair, then the Bible says it is okay for you to pick up your own metal folding chair and clobber him back. (I think that was in the chapter where Jacob was wrestling with somebody???)

And Romney is doing exactly what Obama did with Jeremiah Wright. He is distancing himself, and doing his best to keep the Birthers out of sight. Sheriff Joe Arpaio was sent to give his speech over at the local zoo’s gorilla enclosure. Donald Trump didn’t show up at all.  Both are crowd pleasers, and both have important things to say about other issues. But even if they could erase the Birther crap from the teleprompters, the GOP just couldn’t take the chance that their well-known Birther antics would overshadow any sane remarks they might make.

(I hear from my secret sources that several prominent Tea Party Birthers were slipped mickies and then photographed in the nude with hookers to keep them from spouting off any Birther nonsense in public. I am trying to get my hands on the negatives, but have so far been unsuccessful.)

However, Romney has a much bigger problem than Obama ever did. Obama only had one or two screwballs to distance himself from. But, there are millions and millions of Birthers, and many of them very active in Republican politics. The Democrats are doing their best to shine the spotlight on them. Meanwhile, Romney operatives have already purchased a ton of rufies and cameras, and are involved in active negotiations with hookers across the nation.

This ought to be interesting!!!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is a picture of Ebed Melech, the Cushite (Ethiopian) pulling Jeremiah from a cistern. I can not figure out who painted it.

Note 2. Links. Here is the link to the Wiki article. It is a great read:


One Nice Thing About Sheriff Joe Arpaio

From The Way The Hay Was Loaded, His Experts Assured Him There Was Definitely A Needle In There Somewhere

Well, it occurred to me that I am always saying bad things about the Birthers, poking fun at them, and hurting their feelings. If I am not careful I will probably become cynical and mean over time. Sooo, I figure every once in a while I ought to say something nice about the Birthers just to keep in practice. This is not going to be easy, but here I go.

ONE NICE THING about Sheriff Joe Arpaio is that he is NOT one of those stupid, idiotic, delusional, brain-dead, lying, quack-lawyer, dumb a$$, two citizen parents Birthers who goes around spouting off that God Awful silly drivel about Emerich de Vattel and citing ridiculous pre-Wong Kim Ark cases while pretending that Minor v. Happersett is precedent and ignoring all the current case law, and insulting my intelligence in the process, like some kind of moronic, mindless, lobotomized DORK!!!

Whew. I feel better already. I need to do this more often. It is good for the soul.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

The Birther Cotillion (Or, Coming Out In Phoenix!!!)

No Matter How Hard They Tried To Pass As Normal, The Birthers Could Never Quite Pull It Off

Talk about deja vu.  According to Stephen Lemon’s blog at the Phoenix New Times, the Birthers are planning a gala event on September 22, 2012 in Phoenix, Az:

Here is a link to the full Internet Article, which is pretty funny:

Stephen Lemon’s Blog at Phoenix New Times

Many Birther Celebs are going to be there, including Pat Boone, who will probably sing one of his No.1 hits,  “I Almost Lost My Mind”  no doubt rubbing it in on Terry Lakin and other Birthers who, unlike Boone, went all the way.

Anyway, here is what I think is behind this event, besides the chance to goose Obama, rack up photo-fees,  sell books, and pick up votes and Birther chicks.  I believe the Birthers are trying to pass themselves off as normal and rid themselves of that crazy as a sh*thouse mouse stigma. Which rather colorful term is defined by The Urban Dictionary as “an incomprehensibly crazy person”  and warns the term is “not used to describe a spell of psychotic behavior. A sh*thouse mouse is permanently insane.”

Sooo, you put a famous singer up on the stage, along with a real-live big city (county) high sheriff, a film producer, and few people who actually wrote books. Now, the average Birther can pretend he or she isn’t really all that stupid after all.  After all, famous rich people who can read and write believe this Birther stuff.

That’s my take on it – – – a big coming-out party, where the Birthers can pretend to be sane and weasel themselves into polite society. If they can get Donald Trump, and few more generals and naval officers there, they may pull it off.  Look for the Tea Party people there to be totally upstaged by the wild Birthers.

Meanwhile, don’t look for Mitt Romney to be there. He will be face-palming himself along with Ann Coulter, Mark Levin, and Rush Limbaugh, while they pray for the Ghost Of Bill Buckley to rise from the grave and rid the party of these idiots. After the election.

This ought to be a hoot, particularly if  backwoods Birthers and Sovereign Sitizens show up drunk with guns, muskets, pink dildoes, and various artillery pieces.  The bouncers are sure going to have a time keeping Riff Raff out.

Hmmm. I wonder if the aluminum foil concession is still available???

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Cotillion:  Originally a dance with prescribed routines and steps. Wiki says:

The cotillion is a type of patterned social dance that originated in France in the 18th century. It was originally made up of four couples in a square formation, the forerunner of the quadrille; in the United States the square dance, where the “figures” are called aloud by the caller, is a form of rural contredanse that also descended from the urban cotillion. Its name, from French cotillon, “petticoat“, reflected the flash of petticoats as the changing partners turned.

The cotillion, of repeated “figures” interspersed with “changes” of different figures to different music, was one of many contredanses where the gathered participants were able to introduce themselves and to flirt with other dancers through the exchange of partners within the formation network of the dance. By the 19th century, the cotillion evolved to include more couples with many complex dance figures.

In modern usage, a Cotillion is usually a highly formal coming out affair, again as Wiki says:

In American usage, a cotillion is a formal ball and social gathering, often the venue for presenting débutantes during the débutante season – usually May through December. Cotillions are also used as classes to teach social etiquette, respect and common morals for the younger ages with the possibility of leading up to a débutante ball.

Debut presentations vary by regional culture and are also frequently referenced as “debutante balls,” “cotillion balls” or “coming-out” parties. The male equivalent is often referred to as “beautillion ball”.

A cotillion or débutante ball in the United States is a formal presentation of young ladies, débutantes, to “polite society”. Wearing white gowns and satin or kid gloves, the débutantes stand in a receiving line, and then are introduced individually to the audience. The débutante is announced and then is walked around the stage, guided by her father who then presents her. Her younger male escort then joins her and escorts her away. Each débutante brings at least one escort, sometimes two. Many débutante balls select escorts and then pair them with the debs to promote good social pairings. Every débutante must perform a curtsy also known as the St. James Bow or a full court bow. This gesture is made as the young woman is formally presented. Débutante balls exist in nearly every major city in the United States but are more common and a larger affair in the South.

As a side note, pre-Cotillion virginity tests were phased out in the 1960’s for some unknown reason.

Note 2. The Image. This is a still from the 1975 film version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, where Dr. Frank-N-Furter shot the notion of natural born citizen all to Hell and back.  The tap dancer is “Columbia” played by Little Nell.  The Easter Egg begins with a line from “Hail Columbia“, also known as The President’s March and once considered a National Anthem, until 1931. Now, it is the entry music for the Vice-President. The actual part of the song goes, in tribute to George Washington:

When hope was sinking in dismay,
When glooms obscured Columbia’s day,
His steady mind, from changes free,
Resolved on death or liberty

Note 3. Bonus. Occasional Music from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, performed acoustically:

Princess Miki Gets A Commitment!!! (But Don’t Cheer Just Yet)

Sarah Bernhardt Playing The Lead In “Memoirs Of A Community Organizer From Hawaii”

Well, the story over at ObamaReleaseYourRecords started off really good:

Miki Booth gets a commitment from Senator Tom Coburn

and for that fleeting second I had the feeling that somebody finally locked the crazy Birther up. There were visions of Princess Miki in a strait jacket and padded cells. Maybe even electro-shock therapy. Yes, there is a God, and Justice, and a team of mental health professionals!!!  And  then, the Idyllic Vision evaporated as I got to the next part:

Miki Booth gets a commitment from Senator Tom Coburn
to contact Sheriff Joe Arpaio about Obama’s ineligibility

OH! What a letdown.  She is still on the loose and babbling about forged birth certificates and idiotic pseudo-investigations, and her stupid book. Whatever happened to the good old days when Hawaiian Princesses just quietly did a half-gainer into a volcano to save their people??? Nowadays, they write stupid books, blather on radio talk shows, harass public officials, and just make a general nuisance of themselves.

Anyway, here is a link to the story:


I can imagine the half-hearted phone call from Senator Coburn to Sheriff Joe and the strained conversation as Coburn tries to pretend he isn’t talking to an idiot on the other of the line. If you live in Oklahoma, Coburn deserves both your vote and hazardous duty pay for doing stuff like this.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is Sarah Bernhardt playing Phedre (Phaedra), if I have my pictures right.  Wiki says about Phedre:

The genealogy of Phèdre gives a number of indications as to her character’s destiny. Descended from Helios, god of the Sun, and Pasiphaë, she nevertheless avoids being in the judgmental presence of the sun throughout the play. The simultaneous absence of a god-figure combined with the continual presence of one has been extensively explored in Lucien Goldmann’s Le Dieu caché. This sense of patriarchal judgment is extended to Phèdre’s father, Minos, who is responsible for weighing the souls of the dead upon their arrival in Hades.

Phèdre is right to fear judgment; she is driven to an incestual love for her stepson Hippolytus, much like the other women in her family, who tended to experience desires generally considered taboo. Her mother, Pasiphaë was cursed by Aphrodite to fall in love and mate with a white bull, giving rise to the legendary Minotaur. Phèdre meets Theseus, her future husband, when he arrives on the Minoan scene to kill her monstrous half-brother, the minotaur.