Tag Archives: spell

Untimely Ripped – A Halloween Special

A Spelling Bee? The Pot Thickens!

Untimely Ripped
by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

A dark Cave. In the middle, a Caldron boiling. Thunder.

First Birther Witch: Cursed long form on the loose!
Second Birther Witch: Honolulu born papoose!
Third Birther Witch: Sank my book, and cooked my goose!

First Birther Witch:

Hair of dog, and hemlock bark
Make them forget Wong Kim Ark.
Poppy flowers pink and blue
Toss it all into the brew.
Add some roofies if you please
(Wong Kim Ark sounds sooo Chinese!)


Around about the cauldron go;
And in some poison’d thinking throw.

Second Birther Witch:

Case of Minor Happersett
Throw it in, you won’t regret.
Cut a paragraph in two
Throw the first part in the stew.
Here’s the part you must leave out
It’s the half that mentions “doubt”.
They won’t find it, so we think
(Justia has lost the link!)


So dance about the magic pot;
And Thank God, ethics. . . we have not.

Third Birther Witch:

So we start our bouillabaisse
But we need a stronger case.
Something fishy. . . something French
Add some de Vattel. . . a pinch.
Page from Law of Nations book.
Shred it up and let it cook.
And to recognize our Dream
Some Hot Air to make it steam!

Sympathetic magic rules:
Like gets like” and we like fools.
So to  help us sell this dud,
What we need is Baboon blood.
But it’s missing from the shelf!
Never mind, I’ll prick myself.


Fire burn, and cauldron bubble;
We can’t wait to start some trouble.


Run in circles, scream and shout;
In thirty days we’ll have him out!

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1: Untimely Ripped  A line from Shakespeare’s play, Macbeth, referring to MacDuff who was, in one sense,  “not naturally born.”  Macbeth cannot be harmed, according to the witches, by ‘man born of woman’.  However, MacDuff was “untimely ripped” from his mother’s womb…by Cesarean section.

This poem is “ripped” from that play Act IV, Scene I. Shakespeare’s poem is provided in full, below.

Note 2: Witch Gender

In the 17th century, witches were both male and female persons who had made a pact to serve the devil. In exchange, the devil passed along certain powers to the witches. According to confessed witch William Barker, the devil promised to pay all Barker’s debts and that he would live comfortably. The devil also told him that he wanted to set up his own kingdom where there would be neither punishment nor shame for sin.


Note 3: Poppy Flowers – used to make opiates. Roofies are the slang term for Rohypnol, the date rape drug. Said to cause sedative, hypnotic, dissociative, and/or amnesiac effects.

Note 4: Bouil·la·baisse  (bool ya base or boo ya base) Noun.

1. A highly seasoned stew made of several kinds of fish and shellfish.
2. A combination of various different, often incongruous elements: a bouillabaisse of special interests.

Note 5: Sympathetic Magic. Basically, that like produces like.  The “baboon blood” (which is also found in Shakespeare poem), is being added to attract other monkeys to the theory. From wiki:

The theory of sympathetic magic was first developed by Sir James George Frazer in The Golden Bough. He further subcategorised sympathetic magic into two varieties: that relying on similarity, and that relying on contact or ‘contagion’:

If we analyze the principles of thought on which magic is based, they will probably be found to resolve themselves into two: first, that like produces like, or that an effect resembles its cause; and, second, that things which have once been in contact with each other continue to act on each other at a distance after the physical contact has been severed. The former principle may be called the Law of Similarity, the latter the Law of Contact or Contagion. From the first of these principles, namely the Law of Similarity, the magician infers that he can produce any effect he desires merely by imitating it: from the second he infers that whatever he does to a material object will affect equally the person with whom the object was once in contact, whether it formed part of his body or not.


Note 6:

William Shakespeare (1564-1616) from Macbeth – Act IV Scene I:

A dark Cave. In the middle, a Caldron boiling. Thunder.

Enter the three Witches.

1 WITCH.  Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
2 WITCH.  Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.
3 WITCH.  Harpier cries:—’tis time! ’tis time!

1 WITCH.  Round about the caldron go;
In the poison’d entrails throw.—
Toad, that under cold stone,
Days and nights has thirty-one;
Swelter’d venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot!

ALL.  Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

2 WITCH.  Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

ALL.  Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

3 WITCH.  Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf;
Witches’ mummy; maw and gulf
Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark;
Root of hemlock digg’d i the dark;
Liver of blaspheming Jew;
Gall of goat, and slips of yew
Sliver’d in the moon’s eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar’s lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver’d by a drab,—
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron,
For the ingrediants of our caldron.

ALL.  Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

2 WITCH.  Cool it with a baboon’s blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.

brinded – having obscure dark streaks or flecks on gray
gulf – the throat
drab – prostitute
chaudron – entrails