Tag Archives: Walter Fitzpatrick

Make Way For Another Commander Fitzpatrick Shipwreck!!!

girl9 fritz guerin sailing-duo-c-1902_0

Ever Dauntless, Francis And Sharon Sail Off Into Uncharted Waters

Walter “Citizen’s Arrest!” Fitzpatrick, late of the county pokey, is trying on a brand new legal tactic.  Since the local grand jury won’t take him seriously, and the citizen’s grand juries have proven to be a non-starter, Fitzpatrick is trying to go straight to the Federal judge.  You may wonder whatever gave him the idea that he could ask a Federal judge to speak to the Grand Jury???

Well, courtesy of FogBow, (see Note 2 below for links) here is a copy of the June 14, 2013 letter with the magic sentence in it, “A private citizen may go directly to the Federal Grand Jury and give information only with the permission of the Court or the United States Attorney’s office.” This language was from an earlier denial on April 6, 2011.

Walt Denial  1

(Click on Image to make larger.)


Walt Denial 2

(Click on Image to make larger.)


And, since the U.S. Attorney and a magistrate judge said no, Walt decided to go straight to the Judge Varlan! Of course Fitzpatrick Chronicler, Sharon Rondeau, is all over it. Here are a few excerpts from a June 14, 2013 Post and Email article, “Make Way For Commander Fitzpatrick”,  that was smuggled out from behind the P&E Paywall in a homemade hot air balloon. I would provide a link, but Rondeau has it fixed to where you can’t even link to the article in question.  So, a general link to The P&E follows this excerpt:

Fitzpatrick has evidence that Killian and two other prosecutors have committed crimes in the case of a man who was said to have been in a place where he was not, then convicted of a crime based on the false statements contained in an FBI agent’s affidavit.

After finishing his 15-minute phone call with Gibson [Judge Varlan’s clerk], Fitzpatrick contacted several members of the local media in eastern Tennessee who have previously reported erroneously on the case. One hung up on him; one editor appeared interested, according to Fitzpatrick; and a third asked Fitzpatrick to recontact her if he secured an appointment to appear before the grand jury.

Fitzpatrick said that he stressed to Ms. Gibson that the information he possesses “has to do with my report of criminal conduct on the part of government officials,” including Killian.

“We could be onto something of extreme historical importance and significance at this moment by having people go to a federal judge and say, ‘According to your own letter, it’s either a federal judge or the U.S. Attorney; the U.S. Attorney is conflicted in this because it’s the U.S. Attorney who has committed crimes. So people from around the country can come in and say, ‘Make way for Commander Fitzpatrick,’” Fitzpatrick said. “People can give exposure to the fact that U.S. Attorneys are the gate-guards, and the only other way in is through a federal judge. So let’s see how this plays out.”


So, there was one piece of good news for Fitzpatrick. With a broken computer, he can make less of an ass out of himself. But the bad news far outweighs the good. I read through all the Madisonville Hoax stuff on Fitzpatrick’s JagHunter page and there are a few interesting points that seem to mitigate in Huff’s favor. I asked my BFF Fabia Sheen, Esq., an attorney, about this. She said that warrants often contain overstated information put in to insure that the officer can convince a judge or prosecutor to give them what they want.

She also said that prosecutors often overcharge on counts to provide a little cushion in subsequent plea negotiations. Whether that is the case here, will never be given a fair review because of the nutty nature of the people making the claim. She said that courts, in general, are not disposed to overturn decisions. That is why most appeals fail, and most motions for new trials are not granted. Plus, Huff had a chance to dispute the evidence offered by the government at his trial.

She said that the credibility of the person making the claim is a factor. Therefore, a good law firm, with a solid reputation and no history of making spurious and unfounded motions, will get more attention than a couple of wackadoodles who file “hundreds of pages of documents” and “repeated requests” to use the language from the letter above.  It is even worse if the wackadoodles are well known for believing nutty Birther conspiracy theories and for filing vexatious and meritless legal actions. Like Fabia said, judges only have 168 hours in their week and they must prioritize.

That is just the way things are.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Image. This is usually called, The Sailing Duo. It is by photographer Fritz Guerin around 1902.  Walter Fitzpatrick’s middle name is “Francis” in case anybody is wondering about the choice of names. Sharon Rondeau is the editor of The Post and Email, and special friend to Mr. Fitzpatrick.

Note 2. Links to each page of the June 14, 2013 letter found at FogBow:



Note 3. Darren Huff Conviction. Huff was indicted under 18 USC § 231 (a)(2):

(2) Whoever transports or manufactures for transportation in commerce any firearm, or explosive or incendiary device, knowing or having reason to know or intending that the same will be used unlawfully in furtherance of a civil disorder; or


Also See:




EXCLUSIVE!!! How They Really Got Darren Huff!!!

moonshine truck

Poor Wesley Just Couldn’t Figure Out What Tipped Them Off To Search His Vehicle

Well, here I go again with another mysterious document sent to me by an anonymous source! This time, the document purports to be an affidavit from a Confidential Informant (CI)concerning Darren Wesley Huff. Mr. Huff is currently serving a 5 year sentence for fermenting rebellion, or interstate transportation of dangerous stuff. Something like that.  It occurred after Mr. Huff ran his mouth off about freeing another idiotic Birther, Walter Fitzpatrick, who tried to do a citizens arrest on various officials. You will find his story on numerous Birther websites as part of the Madisonville Hoax. You can also see Note 2, below.

Anyway, I asked my BFF Fabia Sheen, Esq., an attorney, to review this document before I did this article. She says that it is about par for the course on the kind of stuff that gets used to obtain search warrants. She says the informant had all qualities necessary to make him reliable, except for a track record. Sooo, who knows?

See Note 1, below if you are confused about what the CI is talking about. It is a pdf of the items returned to Mr. Huff after his arrest. On the below document, I have blanked out the signatures so that I don’t get in trouble with the NSA, CIA, ATF, etc. Because I don’t want to live in a Russian transit area like Eric Snowden.

Here is a pdf of the document, and below that is a text cut and paste I did  off that document:

Affidavit – Confidential Informant


United States District Court
                     for the
Eastern District of Tennessee

United States of America    )
v.                                                   ) Case No. 3:10-MJ-1025
Defendant                                  )


I, being known hereinafter under my Confidential Informant Name, Lug Wrench, and being duly sworn do depose and state the following:

1. On the night of April 17, 2010, I was traveling in an easterly direction between Dalton, Georgia and Chatsworth, Georgia on United States Highway 76 to deliver food supplies to several friends.

2. Being a good Southern Baptist, this is a service I perform on a regular basis for purposes of charity, and out of the goodness of my heart.

3. While in route, I was pulled over and stopped by two unmarked vehicles full of special agents belonging to the Bureau of  Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.

4. At that time I was transporting a 200 gallon tank full of the aforesaid food supplies specifically consisting of corn meal, sugar, and yeast.

5. Unbeknownst to me, water had accidentally gotten into the tank, and the food supplies fermented into a liquid form.

6. Having accidentally left home without my driver’s license,  registration, and proof of vehicle insurance, I handed over a copy of my SSI disability check which I had planned on cashing at Hootchie Coochers Social Dance Club just outside the city limits of the aforesaid Chatsworth, Georgia.

7. After seeing the address on my check, the agents conferred amongst themselves, and returned to where I was handcuffed to the trailer hitch.

8. They inquired of me whether I knew a DARREN WESLEY HUFF who lived on my same street.

9.  I responded that I knew him very well, and often borrowed things from him.

10. In fact, that very night I had borrowed approximately 12 gallons of gasoline from DARREN WESLEY HUFF’s pickup truck.

11. Because of the lateness of the hour, I had chosen not to waken DARREN WESLEY HUFF, and simply used a short piece of water hose to transfer the aforesaid gasoline.

12. I also volunteered that if anyone said differently, they were lying.

13. The agents then inquired whether I had any occasion to borrow anything from the interior of the pickup truck.

14. I responded that there were in fact, several occasions where I borrowed things from DARREN WESLEY HUFF’s pickup truck and house and tool shed, and absent mindedly forgetting to return them, might have accidentally pawned them in the aforesaid Chatsworth, Georgia.

15. The agents then asked whether I had any REASON to borrow anything from the interior of the pickup truck on this particular evening.

16. I responded in the affirmative, and that I believed DARREN WESLEY HUFF would not have minded me borrowing a box full of fishing tackle and a combination rod and reel in case I engaged in night fishing during my return trip.

17. I also remembered that I had borrowed $2.37 in loose change, having not yet cashed the aforesaid SSI disability check. Plus, a previously opened bag of Tom’s Bar-B-Que Potato Chips, and an unopened bottle of Fanta Orange carbonated beverage.

18. The special agents inquired whether I had seen anything of a suspicious or dangerous nature while thus engaged in borrowing activities.

19. I responded that I had indeed come across such items, whereupon I was released from the aforesaid trailer hitch.

20.  Negotiations were entered into which would insure that in return for this vital information, I would immediately receive approximately $342 cash, which is what the special agents had on their persons.

21. Further, I would face no criminal liability for driving without the aforesaid  driver’s license, registration, and proof of vehicle insurance.

22. As an additional gesture of good will, the special agents agreed to dispose of the aforesaid water-damaged food products for me.

23. At that point, I described a pink colored truncheon or pipe-like shaped device which I had observed inside DARREN WESLEY HUFF’s pickup truck.

24. I estimated the length of the object to be approximately 18 inches, and the circumference perhaps as much as 8 inches. The object was also covered with some sort of nodules.

25. Said truncheon or pipe-like shaped device was secreted in the center console storage of the pickup truck along with various work supplies, including a video designed to identify and track down vehicle transmissions, and a bottle of at least 90 weight lubrication product, such as would be suitable for greasing down a flywheel.

26. I had examined the strange object, and discovered that it contained inside itself sophisticated electronics operated by 2 batteries.  It had a definite handle area, and I believe it to be some sort of dangerous weapon, much like a taser, and to be used to incapacitate a person.

27. I also described the truncheon as possessing a 3 position switch, with Off, Low, High options, and a LED-like light. I expressed my opinion that this may have been for the purposes of receiving wireless remote control activation signals.

28. The special agents asked if the device could possibly be a pipe bomb, and inquired if I had noticed any particular odor to the object.

29. I responded that come to think of it, it did have a very strong distinctive aroma, which seemed familiar, yet which I could not quite place.

30. The special agents inquired whether the odor could be ammonia-like, and I responded that it was much stronger than that. Because I have smelled Bo Peep Ammonia before, and this odor was much worse.

31. I was interrogated as to whether I had seen the words “Semtex” “RDX” or “PETN” on the device or on any other items within the vehicle.

32. I responded that I don’t read too good, particularly since I had neglected to turn on the interior lights, but I definitely remember some word with “TEX” as part of it, perhaps on a package or some wrapping.

33. At this point, the special agents became extremely agitated, and left to call somebody. They returned with a laptop computer, a printer, and the aforesaid $342 in cash. This affidavit was typed  and printed out.

34. I have read all this, and I understand it, and it is all true and correct, and further I sayeth naught.

________________________  _____________
/s Lug Wrench                                       April 17, 2010

Now, I don’t know whether this is genuine or not.  Who knows? I will just report and let you decide.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. The Mysterious Truncheon Shaped Device: Many Thanks to Jack Ryan of Fogbow, who has this on his scribd!

Huff Receipt-for-Returned-Property

Note 2. The Darren Huff Story. Dr.C at Obama Conspiracy Theories has this story and others about the travails of Darren Huff.


The Birther Olympics: Update No. 2: (Diving In Over Your Head)

Sometimes, You Just get In Over Your Head

Finally, the results are in for the latest Birther Olympics event, Diving In Over Your Head. The games were thrown into complete disarray when every Birther who came to the games registered for this event. This was foreseeable, all of them having been over their heads since day one of Birtherism.  Extra Judges were rushed in, and after a marathon day (and night) of performances, the results are in.

Darren Huff, late of Georgia,  took home the Bronze Medal for his pantomine performance, in full drag, of Don’t Take Your Guns To Town, by Johnny Cash.  Accompanied by four federal marshals, Huff sported a full beard and drop stitch stockings. Playing it completely for laughs, Huff was not expected to qualify,  much less win anything.  However, in a move reminiscent of Nadia Comaneci’s insouciant hand gestures during the 1976 Montreal Olympics, Huff added his own sassy little line immediately after the last “don’t take your guns to town”, that line being “nor your pink dildos either.”  The normally staid judges all broke out in uncontrollable laughter, and Huff was returned to Federal custody with the Bronze Medal safely sealed in a little brown personal property envelope along with the stockings.

Coming in second, and winning the Silver Medal, was CDR Walter F. Fitzpatrick III, USN Ret. Dressed in full naval regalia, he performed a surreal and haunting rendition to the tune of I Fought The Law by Bobby Fuller, accompanied only by a solo pedal harp. To my knowledge, this is the first time this song has ever been performed in this manner, much less in a minor key. When Fitzpatrick’s gravelly voice broke out with, “citizen-arrestin’ in the hot sun” followed by the plaintive refrain of “I fought the law and the law won”, as the harpist plucked out G Minor and C minor chords, a hush fell over the auditorium.  His song writing was immaculate, and lines like “grabbin’ legal papers in a fast run” and “eatin’ bad food, couldn’t see the sun” conveyed the full range of his experiences in what has come to be called the Madisonville Mutiny.

But the evening was all about the gold, and ex-Col. Terry Lakin was the big surprise of this event. Dressed in his sad clown costume, Lakin performed his Divesti la Giubba aria, borrowed from Leon Cavallo’s I, Pagliacci. Who knew he could sing??? And with his lyrics, Lakin did old Leon one better, sweeping him under the ruggero as they say in Italia. Oh, the pathos literally mounted up to the ceilings, as Lakin sang the final words:

So laugh, Terry Lakin,
Even as your heart’s breakin’,
Now Laugh, Clown Doctor, your prescription mistaken.
Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha. . .

and collapsed in a sobbing heap on the stadium floor. The crowd went crazy. Even some of the Obots had tears in their eyes. No one was expecting this level of theatrical sophistication. Yet, perhaps we should have known better. After all, the Birthers have been practicing drama and theatrics 24/7 for almost 4 years straight

Reporting from beautiful downtown Laguna Niguel, this is:

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Lakin’s Lament: Here are the complete lyrics to the Lakin’s Lament Aria.

Divesti la Giubba

Rejection! Sadly seeming nobody wants me.
Booted out of the Army,
Oh woe, woe is me,
My uniform, they took from me!
Ah! How my heart is breakin’
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
The Clown, Terry Lakin!

Bye Bye, Doctor coat!
How’d I put my self in this boat?
Internet Birthers, believing stuff they wrote!
Berg and Apuzzo, and even Donofrio.
The Clown, Terry Lakin, took the bait. Alas, Oh Noes!!!
Now, my fate – Floppy shoes, squirting flowers, a big red nose.

Now laugh, Terry Lakin,
Even while your heart’s breakin’,
Now Laugh, Clown Doctor, your prescription mistaken.
Ha, ha,ha,ha,ha. . .

Note 2: Divesti la Giubba – this is a pigdin English-Italian word play on vesti la Giubba, the song from the opera I, Pagliacci.  Vesti la giubba means put on the costume, or put on the jacket. The English prefix “di” has been cobbled with the Italian “vesti” to make it mean divest – take off the the professional clothes as Lakin was forced to do with his uniform and his Doctor’s coat.

Here is a more detailed explanation of the actual meaning of vesti la giubba:

I admire your attempts, but Italian is a bit more complicated than you think, and less “scientific” than German and germanic languages, in general. To this you should add the difficulty that the text in an operatic libretto uses a poetic style in the lyrics that makes it even harder to a foreigner to find out the right translation key.

So, I’m pleased to solve your puzzle by a little pill of Italian grammar and lexicon. Let’s examine the sentence: “Vesti la giubba”.

Here “Vesti” is the imperative mood, present tense, second person singular of verb “vestire”, in the sense of “indossare”, which corresponds to the English imperative “put on (+ noun)”, “dress yourself with (+noun)”.

Unfortunately, and that causes part of the puzzle, “vesti” is indeed also the plural of “veste”, which is a poetic word for “vestito”, which corresponds to the English noun “dress” (hence, in the plural, also to “clothes”), in the general meaning of “whatever you put on your body to prevent its being naked”.

Let’s go on. “la giubba” is the object complement (i.e. an accusative noun) of “vesti”, and simply means “the costume”, “the jacket”. Therefore “la” is the definite article, feminine singular (the neutral gender, although existing in Latin, has disappeared in Italian) and “giubba” is the noun of the thing that Canio has to put on to get ready for the scene.


Note 3: Vesti la giubba: For those unfamiliar with either the opera or the aria, here is a youtube video. I am surprised this version has not had more hits:

Note 4. The Image. I can’t figure out who the artist is, but it can be found here:


Note 5. Miscellaneous.

When Birther Darren Huff was arrested, the cops actually found a gun, tranny porn,  and a pink dildo in his vehicle.

One of Walter Fitzpatrick’s biggest supporters is Sharon Rondeau of The Post and EMail. Ms. Rondeau is a professional harpist.

Leon Cavallo was a close friend of Michael Angelo.

Lakin’s Lament aria is actually singable to the Vesti la giubba music.

The Herculean Labors (Or, Wrassling The Cretin Bull, And Cleaning Up Behind Him)

The Birthers Got Carried Away By The Cretin Bull

Well, the software is telling me that this is the 200th post at The Birther Think Tank. So perhaps is time to step back and reflect on the Big Picture nature of the Anti-Birther vs. Birther Struggle.  There are analogies to be found in two of the mythological Labors of Hercules, specifically the 5th and 7th Labors.

The Fifth Labor of Hercules was to clean the Augean Stables. Thousands of cows lived in these stables belonging to King Augeus. They had not been cleaned in 30 years, but Hercules was told to clean them completely in a single day. To do so he made two rivers bend so that they flowed into the stables, sweeping out the filth. ( from Infoplease)

The Seventh Labor of Hercules was to capture the Cretan Bull. This savage bull, kept by King Minos of Crete, was said to be insane and breathe fire. Hercules wrestled the mad beast to the ground and brought it back to King Eurystheus. Unfortunately, the king set it free, and it roamed Greece, causing terror wherever it went. (from Infoplease)

There Was Money To Be Made From Manure

Those two myths pretty much cover the life of the Anti-Birther. Our battle is defined by the other side. The Birthers create the bullsh*t, and  we must clean it up. It is a never-ending task because the bull-sh*tters are constantly pumping out new product on a regular basis. Unike Hercules, we can not divert any rivers (due to the lack of a Corps of Engineers’ permit) to short cut the job. No, we must shovel it up the old fashioned way, one scoop at a time into the Wheelbarrel of Truth, and roll it out to the Compost Pile of Birther Dreams.

Making the job more difficult is the fact that some people make money off the bullsh*t. Television provides a most appropriate illustration of  this fact. The Image directly above is from the TV series, Hercules, The Legendary Journeys, the Reign of Terror episode. In that episode Salmoneus, the somewhat shady promoter character, travelled with Hercules to visit the Augean Stables. He concocted a plan to sell manure from the stables with Hercules’ celebrity endorsement. (“Reign of Terror“).

Here you should be thinking Jerome “Jerry” CorsiWorld Net Daily, Cold Case Posse Deputy Michael Zullo, and a host of other Birthers who profit, one way or another, from promoting the nonsense. It is my opinion that many Birthers are also in it for the attention, such as CDR Kerchner, Mario “The Mangler” Apuzzo, and the late “Leo Donofrio, Esq.” These people are not so stupid that they could seriously believe the two-citizen parents Imaginary Law. But, some people are.

Hercules Could Just Swear He Had Encountered This Bull Before

Daily, we Anti-Birthers wrassle with the insane Cretin Bull and no matter how many times we pin its shoulders to the ground, it just gets loose to cause more terror and distress. Old, discredited rumors persistently find resurrection in the Birther Blogosphere and resurface.  Most recently, Postman Allen Hulton has resurrected the Obama As A Foreign Student myth, based on 20+ year old hearsay conversations.  This Who Was He??? identity trope is also mirrored in the Hercules myth. There was uncertainty as to the identity of the Cretan Bull.

The Cretan bull, was said to be the father of the Minotaur by Pasiphae, wife of the Cretan king Minos. By one account, the Cretan bull was the beast that had carried Europa from Phoenicia to Crete for Zeus. In other myths, the bull was sent by Poseidon to Minos,to be sacrificed following the king’s promise that he would sacrifice to the god anything that rose from the sea. But Minos, struck by the animal’s beauty, sacrificed in its place another bull, thus provoking the god’s rage. The sea god then in revenge drove the animal wild, ravaging the crops and orchards of Crete.

Hercules captured the beast after a lengthy struggle. He brought it all the way back across the sea to Tiryns, to present it to Eurystheus. He then set the beast free. It then roamed around Laconia and Arcadia, crossed the Corinth Isthmus and ended up in Marathon, to be later captured and killed by Theseus.


In fact, the first image here is Europa Carried Away By The Cretan Bull by Noël-Nicolas Coypel, 1726-1727In a way, America has been carried away by the Birthers’ Cretin Bull.  A Cretan is, of course, someone from the island of Crete. A cretin, on the other hand is a person of subnormal intelligence. In the past that term, and others, were associated with specific I.Q. levels. There is some disagreement about the levels, but this seems representative:

Cretin…. IQ 70-85
Moron ….IQ 55-70
Imbecile..IQ 40-55
Idiot…….IQ under 40

What we must deal with daily are cretinous, moronic, imbecilic and idiotic arguments. Even Birther Mensa members like Sam Sewell of The Steady Drip blog sally forth into the two citizen parents argument despite repeated court losses on that point. Ex-military officers like CDR Kerchner and Walter “Citizen’s Arrest” Fitzpatrick spew forth Vattel like gargoyles on the Notre Dame Cathredal during a cloudburst. Jerome “Jerry” Corsi, who has a Ph.D from Harvard, carries on like a madman biting on every piece of worthless evidence like a Great White Shark chomping down on a surfboard – swallowing it now, and letting the other end worry about the consequences.

So why do we do it??? I can’t answer for other people. Personally, I don’t even think we are winning the battle.  Birther Blogs seem to be springing up everywhere, and the stupidity knows no shame. Or limits. The courts throw the Birther Junk out, but they would do that whether we were here or not. Obama is still on the ballot in every state, but I am not even an Obama supporter. I’ll probably vote for the Republican, or if he is too nutty, just stay home.  And it is not like any ex-Birthers have ever told me, ‘Thank you, Squeeky! You have convinced me I was wrong about this Birther stuff.” That has never happened.

I think that me, and probably the other Anti-Birthers and Obots, too, just can’t stand to let these idiotic lies go unchallenged. Like that other Hercules, the French one, Hercule-Savinien-De Cyrano de Bergerac said:

What say you? It is useless? Ay, I know
But who fights ever hoping for success?
I fought for lost cause, and for fruitless quest!
You there, who are you!–You are thousands!
I know you now, old enemies of mine!

(He strikes in air with his sword):

Have at you! Ha! and Compromise!
Prejudice, Treachery!. . .

(He strikes):

Surrender, I?
Parley? No, never! You too, Folly,–you?
I know that you will lay me low at last;
Let be! Yet I fall fighting, fighting still!

(He makes passes in the air, and stops, breathless):

You strip from me the laurel and the rose!
Take all! Despite you there is yet one thing
I hold against you all, and when, to-night,
I enter Christ’s fair courts, and, lowly bowed,
Sweep with doffed casque the heavens’ threshold blue,
One thing is left, that, void of stain or smutch,
I bear away despite you.

(He springs forward, his sword raised; it falls from his hand; he staggers,
falls back into the arms of Le Bret and Ragueneau.)

ROXANE (bending and kissing his forehead):
‘Tis?. . .

CYRANO (opening his eyes, recognizing her, and smiling):



Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Hark! Hark! The Birthers Are Coming To Town!!!

The Birthers Wondered If They Could Fed-Ex Themselves To Indiana

With all the Birther eligibility lawsuits being filed, there is a good chance that a Traveling Troupe of Birthers will soon be coming to a city near you. Back in Ye Olde Days of Yore,  around the 13th century, minstrels and beggars wandered from city to city singing songs with hidden messages. The songs were secret ways to rebel against royalty, clergy and politicians.  Some of these songs are known today as Nursery Rhymes.

With that in mind,  The Birther Think Tank is proud to continue that proud tradition, and presents a new Nursery Rhyme, to warn the populace  of the approaching Birthers.

Hark! Hark!
by Ye Younge Squeeky Fromm,
Girl Reporter

Hark! Hark,! The Dogs do bark
The Birthers are coming to town.
Some in rags, and some in jags
But every one a clown.
Some in rags, and some in jags.
But every one a clown.

Here is youtube video with the tune.  Hark! Hark! starts at the 1:00 minute mark:

The Hark Hark Rhyme had several variations, some which you can find here:


Some had extra lines like these:

Some gave them white breads,
And some gave them brown,
And some gave them a good horse-whip,
And sent them out of town.

Not to be outdone, I have also written several variations:

The Walter Fitzpatrick Hark! Hark! Variation

Hark! Hark! The Dogs do bark.
Fitzpatrick is coming to town.
Waving flags and Hunting JAGs,
Arresting all around.
Waving flags and Hunting JAGs,
Arresting all around.

The World Net Daily Hark! Hark! Variation

Hark! Hark! We’re in the Dark,
When World Net Daily reports.
Scurrilous flag-waving rag,
Is blaming the loss on the courts!
Scurrilous flag-waving rag,
Is blaming the loss on the courts!

I enjoy doing stuff like this, and Nursery Rhymes seem a particularly appropriate canvas on which to paint Birthers, what with Birtherism’s childish and imaginary subject matter. Yet, it is possible to cram a lot of information into a small space. As an example, I bet everybody will know exactly who the “Star” is,  just because of four little words.

Twinkle, twinkle little “Star”
Someone sabotaged your car???
Always have an alibi.
Lose the case, and then you cry.
Twinkle twinkle little “Star”
Do you know how bad you are???

Sooo, I suggest you try your hand at some.

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter

Note 1. Jags. In some version the line reads ‘some in rags and some in jags. That jag means “A slash or slit in a garment exposing material of a different color (especially popular during the Tudor period.)

Jag in the Walter Fitzpatrick Variation means Judge Advocate General, and Fitzpatrick’s website is called The Jaghunter.

Note 2. Barking Dogs.  A warning sign. During outbreaks of the Bubonic Plague strangers were looked upon with horror! Dogs barking alerted the townspeople to strangers in their area, hence the words “Hark, hark the dogs do bark …”