With 2020 Foresight! The Ted Cruz Birther Lawsuit


Hmmm, I see Mario Apuzzo, An Old Hat, And A Huge Stack Of . . . Bird Cage Liners???

NOTE: I originally published this article in June 2013, but since Ted Cruz announced his Presidency, I presume the Neo-Two Citizen Parent Birthers and some of the old crowd, too will be at it again. Sooo, I decided to dust it off and republish it. It provides my analysis of how a future Birther lawsuit challenging Ted Cruz will work out. So, without further ado:

Well, I have been working my tail off on this one! I got to asking myself what would happen if Sen. Ted Cruz, or some other person who was born outside the country, ran for the presidency. Surely if the parents weren’t both American citizens, the whole silly two citizen parents stuff would rear its goofy head again.

But exactly how would the Birthers frame the argument? And how would the Defendants respond? Reading the law review articles would help with spotting the issues, but there is nothing like getting your hands dirty to get a good handle on things. The standard responses to date would not apply across the board in this case. For example, the Wong Kim Ark decision was based on a person who was born inside the United States. This was Obama’s situation, also.

Sooo, I pretended it was the year 2020, and Sen. Ted Cruz was running for office. Cruz was born in Canada and became a citizen of the United States at birth. It is easy to imagine a Birther(s) signing up to run for President, as some did this last year, in an effort to pass the standing hurdle. It is also reasonable that an Emergency Petition for Injunctive Relief would be filed in an attempt to remove Cruz from the ballot. As a method to present the scenario, I chose to write a decision as a United States District Judge denying this Injunctive Relief to the Birther. This method would present the main points of both sides, and a possible result.

For purposes of illustration, I chose Mario Apuzzo, Esq. as the Imaginary Birther, representing himself pro se. This is because he is sooo predictable, and sooo old hat. The old hat idiom means, “seen or done many times and no longer interesting. Trite. Stale. Predictable.” There is another meaning for those who have vulgar tongues, but I will skip that because this is mostly a G rated place.

Below is a pdf of my decision. I left out some of the things you normally find in a decision such as the procedural stuff. This was done to keep it shorter and simpler to read. I hope from the decision the reader can get a feel for how the Birther argument would be structured, and how a Defendant would respond.

This is strictly my opinion, and there are certainly other legal strategies that could be utilized by the Birthers or Defendants. I invite my readers, Obot, Anti-Birther, and Birther to submit their own thoughts via email attachment. I will be glad to update this article with their work along with proper attribution.

While this may not seem like the height of fun, it has to be better than a surprise visit from the Secret Service such as experienced by the readers of other websites. Enjoy!

Apuzzo Order

UPDATE 1: June 26, 2013.,

Well, that was quick. Mario Apuzzo, Esq. burned the Midnight Oil and made a Motion for Reconsideration. Here is the link to his website. Go to comments #168-#170:


And here is the pdf:

Apuzzo Motion For Reconsideration

Squeeky Fromm
Girl Reporter


About Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

Hi!!! I am a Girl Reporter on the Internet. I am 31. Plus I am a INTP. I have a Major in Human Kinetics, and a Minor in English. I have 2 cats, and a new kitten! I write poetry, and plus I am trying to learn how to play guitar. I think that is all??? Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter View all posts by Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

17 responses to “With 2020 Foresight! The Ted Cruz Birther Lawsuit

  • Slartibartfast


    There’s one thing you didn’t consider: there is a non-frivolous argument that Rafael Cruz is not, in fact, eligible (unlike President Obama who’s eligibility is a slam-dunk). Because of this, a competent attorney might be willing to take this case. A lawyer on the Fogbow claimed that he could get the matter litigated and get Rafael declared ineligible for $250K—I don’t think it is beyond reason to think that a potential Republican birther candidate *cough*trump*cough* might be willing to spend that kind of money and able to find a similarly talented attorney who at least had a chance of success. Something which we all know is and ever will be a complete stranger to the great bloviator.

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

      Hi Slartibart!

      Yes, Cruz is a different kind of duck. I would not be all surprised to see Apuzzo tackle him.

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

      • Reality Check

        Apuzzo may take on the Cruz eligibility issue but it would be a waste of time because no suitable plaintiff would ever hire him. The case would fail on standing.

        I would like to see a proper case brought by a real candidate. Hell, even a fake candidate like Trump would be fun. I would like to see someone take up Stergard’s $250,000 offer to challenge Rafael though. I would even bring the radio show back for that one. 😉

  • Reality Check

    Welcome back Squeeky, even if the article is a rerun, cough cough. I too come down on the side that Cruz, although a complete idiot, is eligible. However, I think that any discussion about his eligibility needs to address the Rogers v Bellei case from 1974 where the parent residency requirement in the law was unsuccessfully challenged. If you argue that foreign born children of one or two US citizens is a NBC then you have to accept that at least in the case of the foreign born kind Congress can determine who are in that class. I personally have no problem with that conclusion but I suspect some might.

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

      Hi RC!

      I will look up the Rogers v. Bellei case again. I am waiting to see if Cruz reignites the two citizen parents idiots. I think my year+ absence from Birthers has helped me kick the habit. I actually have had an article on that in “edit” function for about 3 or 4 months. I will also try to finish it.

      Thank you for missing me!

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

    • Dave B.

      Actually, it wasn’t the parent residency requirement that was challenged; it was the retention requirement. From Sec. 301 of the INA:
      “(b) Any person who is a national and citizen of the United States at birth under paragraph (7) of subsection (a), shall lose his nationality and citizenship unless he shall come to the United States prior to attaining the age of twenty-three years and shall immediately following any such coming be continuously physically present in the United State(s) for at least five years: Provided, That such physical presence follows the attainment of the age of fourteen years and precedes the age of twenty-eight years.”
      Now Bellei acquired citizenship at birth under the previous statute, Sec. 201(g) of the Nationality Act of 1940; but the statute specified that subsection (b) would apply to persons born abroad subsequent to May 24, 1934.

  • Slartibartfast


    If Mario takes up the case (I doubt he will as I think it is all about delegitimizing President Obama to him) then it would probably unfold more or less like you predicted.

  • Reality Check

    Have you gone into hiding again Squeeky?

    • Slartibartfast

      Squeeky is a regular at Jonathan Turley’s Res Ipsa Loquitur blog. It is a popular hang-out for people of Squeeky’s ideological ilk.

    • Squeeky Fromm, Girl Reporter

      Hi RC!!!

      No, I am trying to do more political stuff, because I figure I have pretty well kicked the Birthers to pieces. They aren’t up to anything new are they???

      I do have a post I am working on for here, called, “I Was A Birther Addict”, and I will probably finish it this week.

      How is everybody in the Obot world doing??? Are they all OK???

      Squeeky Fromm
      Girl Reporter

      • Reality Check

        We are still winning – despite Mario doing his daily victory dance. If you haven’t checked out the 7000 comment slug-fest at Greg Conterio’s article about Ted Cruz at Western Free Press it is worth a quick look. http://www.westernfreepress.com/2015/03/05/ted-cruz-and-natural-born-citizenship-a-belated-reply-to-mario-apuzzo/

        Conterio dumped the gasoline, lit the match and then ran away never to be heard from again. Of course the comments quickly degenerated to an off topic discussion of whether Obama is eligible.

        The stuff Mario makes up out of thin air (a polite way of saying he pulls it from his ass) continues to be amazing. You know about his made up American Common Law of course.

        One and only one good thing out of all this is that I have read all the pertinent cases like Wong Kim Ark several times and I have absolutely no doubts Mario and the two citizen parent Birthers are as full of crap as a Christmas turkey.

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